I talked to my father a little bit last night about mom and the funeral and stuff. He said he wasn't too sure if he wanted to have one for her. My mom wasn't someone who liked attention, she liked to lay low, and just do her own thing. She had plenty of friends and people around her to socialize with, but she chose not to.
The thing my dad kept saying to me, which keeps playing in my head is, "do you think she would want one?" It's a hard question to ask and answer because we don't know what she would say... we can't ask her. I told him I didn't know and that we should do what we think is best, maybe that's what she wants. Dad and I talked about mom for a few hours before Harper came back. We sat down and I ended up explaining the whole Harper situation to him, with her sitting there. He was very excited and compassionate towards how we feel about each other. He said she can stay over anytime and stuff like that. I told dad I was bi, he had the same reaction as mom, which warmed my heart. Dad ended up saying he was going to watch a comedy movie, to cope I guess, and that we can do whatever we wanted.
Harper and I went up into my room and talked about what just happened and what she did while she was out. We ended up chilling in my bed for the rest of the afternoon. We cuddled and took a few naps. It was hard not to think about mom and how her presence wasn't around the house anymore, but I pushed back the thoughts. Obviously I'm going to think about her, but I didn't wanna be sad in the moment. I've cried enough.
Harper ended up leaving late last night and I fell right to sleep.
It's now the next morning, Saturday.
I haven't been in school the past few days, but I don't really care. There's no way I can sit at a desk for 7 hours and not cry.
Today, Harper and I are supposed to go out and do something together. I think it'll be nice to get out of the house for a little and spend time with her. Hopefully to get my mind off of things and do something enjoyable.
I get out of bed and head downstairs. I can smell what dad's making before I even see it. Toast.
"Morning, dad." I greet him as I sit on one of the island stools.
He looks up at me and smiles. "Morning Rose. How are you doing?"
"Could be better." How else am I gonna answer that without going into full detail?
"Got any plans for today?"
"Yeah, Harper and I are going to go out. Do you wanna come? Do you need anything while we're out?"
"No and no. I'm fine, honey. You guys have fun."
The question is burning inside me and I have to make sure. "Do you actually like Harper?"
He shoots me a sincere look. "How could I not? She cleaned our house, helped us out, and I can see how much you guys love each other." I smile at him. "Are you guys dating?"
"No, not yet. I took a little break from her actually because I needed space. It felt wrong to like her like this. We're all good now, but she's not my girlfriend."
"I'm sure the time will come soon. When it does, i'll be there cheering you on." He says and my heart melts. I walk over to him and hug him, thanking him for understanding. "I'll always understand you, you're my daughter. As long as you're happy, I'm happy. I like her way better than Lucas."
I laugh. "You and me both."
"You two have fun!" Dad exclaims as Harper and I leave the house. It's very chilly out so I'm wearing a brown long sleeve shirt, black flair leggings, and my white sneakers. Harper is wearing a long sleeve black shirt with a t-shirt over it that says some band name and their concert dates on the back (it's kinda cute), with jeans, and sneakers.
We reach the car and she opens the door for me. "Princess' first." She says, which makes me laugh.
She gets into the other side and starts the car. "Why is it so damn cold?!"
"Maybe because it's the end of November?"
"Alright miss smarty pants." She laughs.
"I have a question." I announce and she quickly glances at me. If I wasn't already looking at her, I would've missed it.
"I'll answer any of your questions, love." Her nicknames always make me a little flustered.
"Why do you go to a different high school?" It's a random question, but I thought of it so I gotta ask.
Harper is a senior and Bellbear High School and a year older than me. I'm supposed to be in senior year, but my birthday is in December and I got cut off. I hate having a late birthday.
"It's complicated. I was in your high school till the middle of sophomore year. I got into some deep shit, which I really don't wanna talk about right now. My parents thought Bellbear would be a better fit for me because there's not as many kids and I'd have more eyes on me. I'm glad it happened though, because Lucas was a snitch and would tell our parents everything."
I nod. "He seems like the type of person to do that."
"Oh, he still is." She laughs and glances over to me before putting her hand on my thigh. "I was thinking we would go get something to eat, maybe grab coffee, and maybe hit some stores?"
"That sounds perfect." I say as she starts to rub her thumb back and forth on my thigh. It calms me a little and surprisingly doesn't make me wanna make out with her in this moment. I'm just enjoying the touch.
We reach the diner and head inside. We sit at a booth in the back by a huge window that over looks a lake.
"The view is beautiful." She glances from the lake to me. "Maybe we can go stargazing later?"
My eyes widen. "I would love that!"
"Perfect." Harper says as the waiter comes over. We both order. "I told my parents about us."
My heart beats a little faster. "What did they say?"
"They said that they're happy to have you around still and that you can come over whenever you want." She beams.
"I'm happy to hear they still like me."
"Why wouldn't they? They took your side on the whole Lucas cheating thing. They're still pissed at him. I don't think they'll ever let him live that down."
We both laugh a little. "That's kinda funny."
"Whatever, he deserves it. He's not going to school because of it." She laughs a little harder.
"Yeah, I don't blame him for not wanting to show his face."
"I wouldn't want to- no fucking way."
"What? What's wrong?" Is there something I'm missing?
"Don't look, but the topic of this conversation just walked in." Fucking Lucas. "And to make things worse, he's with Lilah. If she comes over here, I'm gonna punch her."
"Harper!" I whisper yell. "Don't you dare punch her, I swear to God."
Harper looks at me as I hear Lucas' stupid voice get louder and he makes his way over. "Go to the bathroom, I'll be right here."
"Lucas, leave." Harper says, her voice sounding a little threatening.
"Look at you two, on a little gay date."
"Don't come over here and start being homophobic, Lucas. We all know you're a little fruity." Harper says and I try to hold in my laugh.
"I am not!" He states.
"Stage one: denial." Why is Harper so quick her her jokes?! I'm loving that about her.
"Rose, why are you with her after everything she's done?" He asks me, but Harper jumps in.
"Lucas, stop. She's with me because she likes me and not you." True.
He looks back at me. "You have no idea what's she's done in her past, have you?"
"Lucas, stop." Her voice gets more stern.
The bathroom door opens and Lucas bends down close to me and whispers in my ear. "Just know, if you're ever looking for drugs, you know the perfect person to go to."
He walks away with Lilah, hand in hand. She looks back at me and winks before blowing me a fake ass kiss.
"Rose?" Harper says, trying to get my eyes away from them. "Rose?"
"Sorry, what?" I shake my head, trying to re focus.
"What the fuck did he tell you?" Her voice is very low and stern. She sounds so hot.
I stare at her, knowing she's gonna be pissed. "Ummm."
"Rosemarie Elizabeth tell me right fucking now what he whispered to you." She knows my middle name?!
"He said that if I ever need drugs I know the perfect person to go to." She sucks in a deep breath and closes her eyes, trying to contain herself. "Harper?"
"I'm gonna kill him." It looks like she wants to run outta here and choke him out on the streets. "I'm sorry that's the way you had to find out. I was gonna tell you, but I wasn't ready."
"You still don't have to-"
She shakes her head. "I gotta finish what he started. Can we eat first? I'm starving."
Lunch was quite. We talked about anything but Lucas, family, and drugs.
The car ride to the coffee shop was quite too.
The shop is in a strip mall with a bunch of other stores, so we can just walk around.
We walk in, get coffee, and sit down on wooden chairs with a wooden table in the middle of us.
"I know Lucas has threatened to bring this up multiple times around you, but I never actually thought he would do it. I'm gonna beat his ass up when I get home, that's for sure."
I roll my eyes. "I bet you will.
"Anyway... God I don't even know where to start." She says and I give her a reassuring smile. "It started in May of Freshman year. All of my friends would out on the weekends, they would drink, and do drugs. I always said that I would stick to drinking, that was all true until one night. It was the summer going into Sophomore year. I had tried weed for the first time. It was better than I expected. I started to buy some and I would smoke anytime I could. I started to become addicted and venture out. I would do cocaine, weed, and whatever I could really get my hands on whenever I could. Lucas found me smoking outside one day after school with my friends. I threatened him, he didn't end up telling until two months later." She takes a breath. "He caught me again, but I didn't know about it. He told my parents, they grounded me, and found out my friends were the influencers. They forced me to move schools the middle of Sophomore year and get a new number so I wouldn't have any contact with them. They put me into therapy because i was withdrawing so badly. It ended up working after 6 months and I was basically back go normal. I haven't touched any drugs since. Alcohol is a different sotry, but I'm not addicted to it. I only drink it from time to time."
I sit there and take it all in. "I'm so sorry that happened to you."
"It's alright. You know you're the first person I ever told that story to?"
I'm kinda surprised. "Really?"
"Yeah, I don't trust many people with my life or my life stories. I guess you're just different." She flashes a beautiful smile at me.
"Maybe I am."
The rest of the day was peaceful. We went shopping and bought a few thing, but I just really couldn't wait for tonight. Stargazing.
We are now on our way there. Harper has her thigh on me as Right Side of My Neck by Faye Webster plays and Roll To Me by Del Amitri.
We reach a flat area of land. It's beautiful here. The sky is filled with beautiful stars.
I get out of the car as Harper grabs two blankets. We go out to the middle of the field and she lays one of the blankets on the ground.
"Come here, baby." Butterflies fill my stomach. I make my way over to her. We lay down and she wraps the blanket around us.
I lay my head on her chest as we stare at the stars together. "They're stunning."
"So are you." Her words vibrate my head and body.
"You too." My eyes never leave the sky.
"I'm so in love with you." She says breathlessly. "I want you."
I chuckle. "You have me."
"No, I want you to be mine."
I sit up and look at her. "What?"
She sits up as well and holds my hands. "Rose, I know I may have a troubled past, but I'm not the same person... I'll never be that person again. I've changed so much, you helped me realize that. Ever since you came into my world, my view on life has drastically changed. From the second I laid eyes on you, I knew you were mine and I was going to make you mine. There was an obstacle in the way, though. Now that you're free and we've been doing stuff together for a while, I feel like there's a connection between us."
"Harper." My eyes tear up.
"Rosemarie, will you be my girlfriend?"
I start to cry, of course. "Yes! Yes! I would love to be your girlfriend, Harper."
She grabs my face and kisses me. "Fuck, I'm so in love with you." She pulls away and we just stare at each other for a little. "You're my beautiful girlfriend."
"And you're mine as well." I say as she grabs my waist and pulls me back onto her chest.
Here we are, Harper and I. My ex's sister and I are dating.
We lay here, embraced in each others arms and stare up at the stars.
Maybe the stars were aligned for us?
I'm sure they are. I know they are.
I guess it's true, I was meant for her.
My girlfriend.
My soulmate.
His sister.