omniscient
katana and jahseh had been laying in her bed for the past hour just sitting in each other's presence
jah wanted to keep talking to her and see how deep the conversation could get but he knew she was already half asleep by the way her voice sounded. her voice got soft and so low it was barely audible while her eyes weren't even open anymore
he wasn't even sure if she wasn't just fully sleep but he didn't mind, he had seemed to calm her down and take her mind off things even if it is just for a little while and that's all he wanted to do. he just wanted to take care of her and remind her she always has someone there for her
meanwhile kat wasn't fully sleep, she was just thinking. replaying everything that had ever happened to her that lead up to where she was now. all the losses, the heartbreaks, the trauma, everything
nothing could have prepared her for a lover like jah, someone who was so quick to take care of her and accept everything about her. she needed this, but mostly she needed to accept the situation she's in now
she needs to accept that no matter how hard she pushes him away, he's going to come back. his love for her was unconditional and that scared her. she was scared of not being able to reciprocate the same love to him
she was scared of disappointing him in ways she wouldn't be able to fix. everything about their dynamic worried her, they were so alike yet so different. he was so mature and spiritually enlightened while she wasn't. she was on a completely different wavelength than he was, his energy was so calm and comforting while hers was chaotic
she was scared he would get tired of her, get tired of her crying, tired of her pointless arguments, tired of what she looked like, tired of her personality, just tired of her overall
jah could felt his shirt dampen as tears ran down katana's face as she had once again, overthought herself into a breakdown
he rubbed her back and just let her cry. even though she didn't tell him, he could read her so well that he an idea what she was crying for and decided it was best to let her get it out before letting her know he'll always be there
he knew she was different from any girl he's ever messed with, so he knew he needed to have a different approach to their relationship. she was a hotheaded crybaby with a short temper and high walls blocking off anyone who came near her. even her best friends could barely get passed those walls
she was closed off and only gave small insight into her thoughts, so he took what he could get out of her. with people like her he knew that just being there was enough. even if he couldn't get her to open up, just staying with her and letting her know he was there whenever she needed was enough and he was right
"jah, promise me you won't get tired of me" she choked out and he nodded "never mi amore, even if we don't work out i'll always be there. i know you're scared of being abandoned but i'll never abandon you" he told her truthfully
kat sat up and wiped her face on her sleeve, her eyes were red and puffy, just like her cheeks. "i gotta stop crying over stupid shit bruh, this shit is getting annoying even to me" she mumbled and jah laughed
"you not even crying over stupid shit though, you crying over shit that means something to you" he reassured her and she shrugged "nah, i'm crying over shit i been told myself i was over. i swore i was over the abandonment issues and the daddy issues but i guess i'm not" she said as she crossed her arms over her chest
"you have daddy issues?" jah questioned and she nodded "my dad left when i was about 8, he was always in and out of my life. making promises he knew he couldn't keep, telling me i was daddy's girl and how he'd stick around for good this time. fucking liar, couldn't even get his shit together for the one person who was posed to mean something to him. but it's whatever, fuck that nigga. he's dead to me now, as far as i'm concerned he's just another nigga on the streets" she said flatly
jah held a look of shock on his face, sure he had a tainted relationship with his dad and he could definitely agree with that last part she said but it just surprised him that she had been without her dad for so long
"nah i definitely feel that, but not gonna lie that explains a lot about the way you act. especially how you like to be babied, you like that shit cus you didn't have it growing up. you're like me but with my mom. i seek certain things out in you that she couldn't give me. like your time and attention, that's why ion like when we go out and you stay glued to your phone without even acknowledging me. shit feels like growing up without my moms attention all over again" he said to her
"damn, guess we got more in common that i thought" she replied with a small smile and he nodded and returned the same smile
"yea we do but just know imma be here for you if you gon be here for me, but no more secrets ight? you not feeling right, come to me or your best friends but don't pull no more shit like that. we need you here ma, shit wouldn't ever be the same without you katana" jah told her and she nodded
"i hear you and imma work on that, but i need you to also just let me be sometimes. i know you love me jah, but sometimes i just need to be alone with my thoughts so i can sit in them and understand them. while it may hurt me, it can also do me some good to learn why i feel like that by allowing them to fully consume me" she said as she pushed a piece of her hair out of her face
jah bit his lip out of nervousness of letting her do that "if i promise to let you do that, you gotta promise me to not pull this shit again. deal?" he asked and she nodded as she held out her manicured pinkie
he laughed at this before interlocking his with hers. "you pinkie promised, so you can't break it" he told her and she nodded as a smile spread across her face
she pulled her pinkie away from his and grabbed his hand, interlocking his finger with his "can we finish what we started earlier" she said sweetly and he laughed
"ion know, you not bouta cry bout nun again right?" he asked jokingly and she rolled her eyes and laughed "nah i'm good now" she replied and he shrugged before flipping them over so he was on top of her
"then shit ion see why not" he said before leaning down and kissing her, she wrapped her arms around his neck as one of his hands found it's way around her throat, lightly choking her. in which she moaned in response
jah took this moment to slide his tongue in her mouth as he reached under her hoodie, she shivered at his touch before pulling away from the kiss "papa your hands cold as fuck" she said and he laughed "my bad baby" he replied before lifting her hoodie up as he traced along her tattoo
"when you get this?" he asked as he continued tracing the numbers "333" that went down the side of her torso
"3 days after i came back, before brit left to LA we went out so she could get her snake eyes and i decided to get it on impulse" she replied and he nodded before helping her take her hoodie off fully. he stared at her which made her cross her arms over he chest in embarrassment
even though she still had her bralette on, she still felt like he was judging her. he moved her arms away from her chest and pinned them above her head "quit doing that shit, you know i like looking at you" he told her assertively and she bit her lip as she nodded
he used one hand to keep her arms pinned as he used his other to unclip her bralette which clipped in the front luckily for him
he watched as it fell to either side of her and how her exposed tits bounced out of it, just as he leaned down to kiss on her, her phone rang
"oh you have to be fucking KIDDING ME!" she said irritated and jah laughed at this "your friends have shit timing" he told her and she nodded as she reached over and grabbed her phone. it wasn't her friends, it was her mom so she told jah she would be right back
jah got off of her as she clamped her bralette back together and walked out of the room to take the call. while she was gone he looked around her room and found her journal, he chuckled at the fact that it was pink and furry and she a pink pen with a puffball on it that she wrote in it with
he laid back on her bed as he flipped through it, he saw a couple half finished sketches, journal entries, even some songs but the page that caught his attention the most was a page titled "sober"
he read it and realized it was a song, as he looked at it he started to put the pieces together of what some of her journal entries were truly about
just as he had finished reading the page, kat walked back in "my bad, ma dukes was just making sure i was okay and was asking if i was at the hous-" she started before realizing her journal was in jah's hands
she rushed over to her bed and snatched it from him "uhm invasion of privacy much?" she said sarcastically and he raised his eyebrow
"oh so it's okay when you do it but not when i do it?" he questioned and she nodded which made him roll his eyes
"how much did you read?" she asked nervously and he looked at her "up the to the song you wrote titled sober" he replied and she gulped
"well, uhm, uh, if you have any questions about any of the shit in here don't ask them. 9 times outta 10 i'm gonna cry talking about it" she told him honestly and he nodded respecting that
"wasn't going to ask, it's your business princess but if you ever wanna talk about any of the stuff in there i'm here when you're ready" he told her honestly and she smiled as she cuddled up to him
"wanna watch saiki k?" she asked and he nodded as she turned her tv on and went to netflix, she put on the 1st season as she snuggled into his chest
he put her hello kitty heated blanket over them as they binged the show for the rest of the day