Nosipho's POV
I feel numb ,the pain I'm feeling or the pain I'm trying to inflict on myself or preparing myself is so much and honestly too much to handle I don't wish this pain upon anyone
I'm sitting on the hospital bed well the doctor has already checked up on me regarding the pan she gave me some pills though I think they aren't working because here I am still awake
It's been approximately 3 hours of waiting for the doctor to just find out or just tell me if my baby is still alive or not
I don't know what to do to myself I'm just staring at blank spaces
Over the past hours olwethu ,ma'ol and Amahle have tried speaking to me but nothing I want nothing ,I don't even want to hear them breathe in irritated and honestly I feel like I know what the doctor is going to say
Finally he enters the room ,looking so sad it's doctor mhling the bought me straight to netcare in umhlanga
Nkululeko:"doctor"
He acknowledges my husband and nods his head his eyes carry so much sympathy for me and some sadness ohhh no I already know it ,my heart is refusing to accept this but my mind is prepping me for the news
Doc:"Mrs Dlamini,I don't know how to say this to you "
Nkulu:"what is it doctor?"
Ma'ol:"is the baby okay ?"
Doc:"well you were pregnant with twins "
Me:"were ? So-"
The doctor shakes his head in loss and sadness he holds so much pity for me I touch my stomach well my bump
I am actually showing right now the stomach is visible it's growing everyda well it was
Doc:"Mrs dlamini, unfortunately you lost the your son ,but by god's grace your doctor survived "
I don't know whether to cry or be happy but how can I be happy when I just lost a son ,I will never know the feeling of holding him in my arms and actually naming him I should actually give him a name
Doc:"I'm really sorry "
Me:"I lost him,but my angel survived "
Nkosenye:"I'm sorry ma"
Me:"ngifuna ukuba ngedwa "
Baba:"nkosikazi-"
Me:"no Baba I need some space to grieve I lost a son "
Baba:"you not the only one that lost him "
Me:"he was in my womb .....he was in my womb Baba"
I cry tears flowing down my eyes how could I have been so selfush letting stress overcome me now I lost my baby boy ngyaxolisa mfana wam
Baba:"we should give him a name ?"
Me:"I want it to be simphiwe ,simphiwe yinkosi he was given to me by God but at least hold the pride of being called his mother "
Doc:"he's already a foetus so he's going to h born but uzoba still "
I nod my head ,how to I continue nurturing Psalms knowing that my simphiwe is still in there
Doc:"next time you need to give birth"
Baba:"a premature baby "
Doc:"she has to do it "
Ma'ol:"let's give them some space "
They walk out and soon Baba follows ,I let it all out I cry because of everything that has happened
Nosipho's POV
Nomzamo'is peacefully sleeping next to me on the bed ,she begged me not to leave and he by her side and I ended up giving her some sleeping pills but actually what needs healing is the heart
I know what she's feeling but not deeply she's the only one who knows her true emotions and I kno she has a lot bottled up inside and I don't even knows what's happening from now on can the ancestors be that unfair and take away my baby from me
My phone rings just as I stand up to go check up on Musa he's also been out of it
He loves nomzamo a lot this one ,his daughters are his most precious possession in the world and I know he would even bring the world at Their feet
I check the caller ID and it's "mr dlamini ❤️"
I'm not mad at them I know how much they loves nomzamo and she also didn't want her to leave but my daughter knows when she's not wanted or needed
Me:"hello"
Dlamini:"sawbona nqobile"
Me:"yebo nkululeko,how may I help you "
Dlamini:"well I wanted to tell you that .....
My gosh he sounds like he's been crying kanti what's happening
Me:"what's wrong is the there something wrong with nosipho "
I feel my heart beating fast and I walk out to the passage so I can speak freely without nomzamo waking up I really struggled putting her to sleep
Dlamini:"nosipho is in hospital"
Me:"why ? What happened?"
Dlamini:"she had twins and unfortunately we lost our son "
Me:"ohhhh no !! Poor nosi I'm coming there right now send me the location she needs me "
Dlamini:"okay please do me a favour and don't inform zamo this would break her "
Me:"okay "
She really was so happy about this entire pregnancy I can't lose her ,she's really strong and I know she's going to make it through this
I rush to my room and wear some sweat pants and a hoodie and my yeezy flops and take my bag and car keys driving to netcare hospital
Musa:"uyaphi?"
Me:"hospital"
Musa:"why ?what's wrong ?"
Panic overcomes him
Me:"nosi lost a baby "
Musa :"ohhhh no ,does zamo know ?"
Me:"no , nkululeko said I shouldn't tell her it would break her and she's in a really rough situation"
Musa:"he's right I'm going to stop later I'm going to stay with zamo "
Me'"yeah I will call Zama on the way "
Nomzamo's POV
There's a crying sound ,and it's a babies voice what's going on
I look behind me and it's a old looking lady ,who looks a bit like nkululeko
Well she's not exactly old she's beautiful really and her features are just so amazing why do these ancestral gogo's age gracefully kanje
I feel at peace when I'm in this place something inside me is kind of at ease I feel at home ,but the atmosphere around me today is filled with sad air
She has a child wrapped in a Zulu blanket it's filled with my water colours making me attracted to it ,ncoooah I love this child already
I guess the lady sees me being so connected to the child because she finally speaks up
Lady:"sawbona "
Me:"yebo sawbona Gogo"
Gogo:"uyamfuna ukumuphatha"
Me:"yebo ,ngyakucela"
She hands me the baby and it's a bit ,come on zamo he's wrapped in a blue Zulu blanket what did you expect I mentally slap myself
Me:"muhle "
The baby looks a lot like Nkosenye,his eyes and he has olwethu's eyes okay maybe I'm just missing them I'm jus exaggerating
His skin tome reflects that of amahle's he's beautiful nkosiyam
Gogo:"nomzamo dlamini"
Me:"ngyaxolisa gogo kodwa mina ngingu nkosi"
Gogo:"bakukhiphela izinkomo phela "
Me:".....
Gogo:"igama lakhe u simphiweyinkosi"
Me:"ohhhhh you are so beautiful baby"
I say that to the child and he giggles there's some vibes this baby is giving like he's a guardian angel
Gogo:"uzohlezi enikhusele ndodakazi ngaso sonke iskhathi"
Me:"huh"
Gogo:'usimphiwe ,umtshele umama wakhe ukuthi iskhathi sakhe bese sesfikile uzokhanyisa emlilweni yakho no Nkosenye"
Me:"angisazi mina manje "
Gogo:"ndodakazi khumbula amazing owatshelwa wona "
??:"khumbula ngaso sonke iskhathi ukuthi uyakuthanda ungalinge ukhohlwe ukuthi ukuthandwa kangakanani uthando lwakho luyokusindisa"
I have heard these words before I look at where the voice came from and there stands gogo nomafu what is she doing here ?
Nomafu:"cha mntanami angikafi "
Me:"ufunani pho la ngyakudinga Gogo"
Nomafu:"cha mntanami unkosenye odinga wena"
Gogo:"usakukhumbula konke okwenzekile phakathi kwenu"
Me:"yebo Gogo"
Nomafu:"khumbula amazwi Ami wonke "
Me:"kanjani gogo"
Gogo:"uzobona nomzamo "
I kiss the baby and just look at it
Gogo:"iskhathi sakhe besesifikile ngane yam ,ubhuti wakhe akazange athathe izinqumo ezi ryt "
Me:"ubani ubhuti wakhe?"
Nomafu:"konke kuzoziveza mntanami "
I wake up from the bed ,sweating
Baba:"finally you are awake ?"
Me:"yeah ,what time is it ?"
Baba:"well it's only 14:45"
Me:"haibo baba how is that possible I came here ngalezi zikhathi have I been out since yesterday afternoon "
Zama:"nope it's been 3 days of you asleep to be honest I was freaked out '
Me:'ohhhhh Zama you are back"
I'm so happy to see my sister ,I'm glad she's back
I jump to her and give her a hug ,that sisterly love pouring right out !!!
Ma comes in the room looking so worn out she attempts to smile at me it's genuine but it doesn't reach her ears
Me:"ma what's wrong ?"
Ma:"nothing .......okay fine"
Me:"what's wrong ?"
Ma:"mele simtshele she deserves to know I told nkululeko I would tell her when she wakes up "
Me:"tell me then "
I already know it's bad news ,my heart is already shattered before I even hear the news Ive adapted to the pain now
Ma:"nosipho lost a baby ?"
Me:"what .....oh no"
Ma:"she was expecting twins baby"
Me:"........
Ma:"unfortunately she lost simphiweyinkosi her son "
My heart instantly shatters more honestly ...........wait did she say simphiweyinkosi.........ohhhhh noooo no u held him in my arms but ma didn't get that opportunity
I feel tears streaming down my eyes ,the pain is eating me away
( ≧Д≦)
Rest in peace baby simphiweyinkosi mthunzi dlamini 🤍🕊️
💔🕊️Ohhh nkosiyam !!!!
Baby simphiwe !!!
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