Rebecca was dragged from her drunken slumber by the sound of coarse snores coming from the corner of...
Wait what is this?
"Lloyd!" Rebecca shouts, clutching her head as the volume of her own voice pierces her brain.
Startled, Lloyds eyes snap open. Rolling them at his surroundings he folds his arms across his chest tilting his head back against the wall.
"Lloyd, where are we?" Rebecca shivers, glancing around the white room.
"Airport jail, Rebecca. We're in fucking airport jail."
Rebecca snorted uncontrollably, laughter expelled from her core, surprising her more than Lloyd. She couldn't get a handle on it as it refused to stop, taking her breath away. Holding onto her aching sides as she panted through loud chortles.
"I'm glad you find it amusing." Lloyd grunts.
The hearty laughter quickly turns into soft sobs, then laughter, then weeping. Rebecca was having a breakdown, and no one could blame her. Not after everything she had been through. It was amazing that her sanity had stayed intact this long.
"You know what, Lloyd..." she spat his name, "I do find it amusing, it's really fucking funny. Because if I didn't laugh, I'd kill myself." Her eyes widen crazily, "Ohh wait, I nearly did, earlier today when you had your gun pressed under my chin." She growls through gritted teeth and with two fingers she mimes blowing her brains out.
Lloyd lunges forward clamping his hand across her mouth, "Shut the fuck up, Becca. We don't need to draw any more attention to us. I'd like to get out of here, without a fucking court order."
"Don't you dare fucking touch me...after the shit you pulled today...you don't ever get to touch me." Rebecca shoved him away, clawing the air like a cat forcing him back to his own side of the room.
Lloyd scoffs, shaking his head. He holds up his hands in mock protest, "Oh alright, Pumpkin. Calm the fuck down."
Rebecca takes four deep breaths trying to steady herself, he was right. She did need to tame herself. Because was he really worth all of this aggravation? The angry grieving?
The answer was, yes. But she was so exhausted, mentally, and physically that she had lost the power to fight for and against him.
When he had that gun painfully jammed under her chin, she saw the fight in his eyes. It was there nestled amongst fearful rage and vivid visualisations of betrayal. It would have been easier on both of them for her to have been the enemy. Because then he would have had a reason to...
Kill her?
Hate her?
Forget her.
But once again she had proven herself to be nothing less than perfect.
The tension in the room was thick, a suffocating smog of misplaced love threatening to smother them. Rebecca glanced around the room trying to find something to focus on, but the room was bare. It wasn't like a prison cell; it was just like one of the interview rooms from those trashy TV shows. The ones where they interrogate travellers with falsified documents.
With nothing to look at to distract her, Rebecca's eyes fixate on Lloyd, his black short sleeved turtleneck shirt now wrinkled at the front where his arms had been folded. Her eyes roamed upwards, soaking in his plush lips as they rest in a pout underneath his moustache. She was finding it excruciatingly hard to let herself look up further, terrified of what she might find if she finally locked eyes with him. Or worse...what if he wasn't looking at her at all?
But hard as she might try, her traitorous eyes wandered.
"What?" Lloyd grumped.
Rebecca shifted uncomfortably, "Why did you come here?" She asked.
Lloyd rolled his head to the side, unsure of how to answer her question. He knew exactly why he was here, for her. To protect her; save her.
"Because Rebecca. I just did. I don't have another answer other than that, because I fucking did. Because I can't stay away, because I worry about you every second of every minute of every hour of every godforsaken day. I'm consumed by it."
A swell of drowning tears pricked Rebecca's eyes, "So why did you—?"
"Dissolve our marriage?"
Rebecca nodded her head fearfully, the short bursts of her head causing the tears to tumble.
"I made a promise, I told you that. I promised to protect you, to keep you safe. But it appears that no matter what I do, you end up on the wrong side of somebody's gun. Even mine." Lloyd pinches the bridge of his nose, the tension headache building painfully behind his eyes, radiating to his temples.
The only movement from Rebecca was the shuddering of her shoulders as she wept, her eyes following Lloyd as he got to his feet.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do any more, Rebecca. I never once thought that this would be my life." He points to his ring finger at the little indent of where his wedding band had been.
"It's not your life anymore," Rebecca brushes away the river flowing down her cheeks, "We can go our separate ways, it's what you want."
"I don't know what I want!" He snaps, connecting his fist with the white wall to his left.
Startled, Rebecca gasps holding her hand over her mouth to muffle harsh sobs.
Lloyd draws in a sharp breath, flexing his throbbing hand.
"Rebecca, I want to go back to the hot tub. I want to hear about your plan. The one where we enjoy married life for a year before we start thinking about a family. I want all of that with you, but it's too dangerous. You have to let me let you go. I have to let me let you let me let you go."
"What?" Rebecca snorted, trying to break down what Lloyd was saying.
"It sounded right in my head. It's over, Sweetheart. I wish it wasn't, but I can't put you in danger anymore."
"Why does nobody care about what I want?" Rebecca laughs defeatedly.
Everyone keeps making decisions for her and assumptions about her. But has anyone stopped to ask her what she wants?
No.
The loud buzz of the room door disturbs them before Lloyd can think of another thing to say that would take the already shattered pieces of Rebecca's heart and grind them into a fine dust.
"Mr Hansen, Miss Gunn... you're free to go." A plump officer steps aside to let them past.
Rebecca winces as she pulls herself to her feet, barely holding herself together, "Great, thank you officer. What time is the flight?"
The officer furrows his brows, "I'm sorry you are no longer permitted to fly from Richmond International."
Rebecca corners a smug smile, slapping Lloyd on the chest, "HA! You hear that? Hope you have your jet. Because you aren't permitted to fly from here."
"No Ma'am, neither of you are. If you'll follow me to collect your belongings, you'll be escorted by security to exit the airport." He shows them both out into a bustling waiting area.
Rebecca and Lloyd stand outside the airport in shuddering rain, "I'll hire a car and drive home." she states.
Lloyd shakes his head, "You're not allowed to drive, not until the doctor clears you. Let me take you home, Rebecca. It's the least I can do."
Rebecca dips her head in defeat. He was right, it was the very least he could do.
They didn't have to wait very long before Alan pulled up in the black Mercedes SUV. Lloyd held open the door for Rebecca and place her many shopping bags into the trunk, having an inwardly debate on where to sit.
He sits in the passenger seat beside Alan, the three of them drive the short distance to the airstrip in complete silence. Lloyd flits his eyes from the road to the rear view to steal glances of Rebecca. She hadn't moved, he could see that her eyes were heavy, the soothing motion of the car rocking her head as it leans against the cool window.
"Rebecca, we're here." Lloyd touches her cheek, rousing her from her short nap.
She peels her eyes open, shivering a little as the cold air rushed through the open door. Planting her bare feet onto the asphalt limps a little following Lloyd and Alan onto the jet.
It held so many memories for her, she thought back to her wedding day when she found Lloyd's gun stashed in their overnight bag. The uncovered lies that blanketed the day. But the memory, no the lie that stung the most was the most recent, discussing dinner plans, falling asleep on his lap. All before her heart was brutally ripped from her chest, by him.
Rebecca had a tonne of questions swirling around her brain, and in the mix were a million things she wanted to say to out loud. But every time she opened her mouth to speak, she struggled to form a sentence.
How had it come to this... just a few months ago they were so in love.
Playfully arguing in the aisles of stores about the first dance at their wedding.
Looking up from the deep coffee coloured carpet, she fixes her eyes on Lloyd's face, just taking all of him in and in the corner of his mouth she saw it. The twitch.
It wasn't in her head. There was love there.
They had loved one another.
"Lloyd?"
"Mhmm...?"
"I wondered if I could borrow Alan for the day?" She asked.
At the sound of his name, Alans brows knitted together as he looked up from his cell phone.
Lloyd mimicked the same look.
"It's just I have a new place lined up, but I don't have any movers yet. I need to get the stuff from my parents to my place. I don't want to ask my dad for help, and I can't afford movers right now."
She reaches into her purse, sheepishly pulling out Lloyds black card, extending her arm to return it to him.
"Keep it, use it." Lloyd shakes his head, pushing her hand back.
"No, I don't want to be tied to you. If it's over between us, then it has to be a clean break. I just... I could use Alan for one day." She smiled sadly through overflowing bleary eyes.
"Rebecca...I-I-I." Lloyd fumbles for words.
"Don't say something that is going to make this hurt any more than it already does. I can't take it. I'm exhausted."
"Alan?" Lloyd glanced to his side. Alan was more of a henchman, Lloyds number two. Helping his bosses ex wife move into her new place wasn't what he was paid to do.
"Sure, no problem." Alan's mouth corners into a welcoming smile as he nods at Rebecca.
Rebecca rises to her feet and heads towards the bathroom, she looks down at Lloyd resting his chin on his hand. A little bead sits on the top of his cheek. And before she even had time to think about it, she wiped away the tear with a gentle flick of her thumb. She didn't wait to see his response. Pushing herself into the small cubicle, locking the door behind her she leans her back against it. Panting to catch her breaths between harsh sobs.
"Rebecca?" Lloyd's voice comes from the other side of the door.
Sniffling Rebecca wipes her eyes, flushing the toilet to disguise her refuge.
She opens the door, Lloyd stands sheepishly on the other side.
"Can I come in?"
"Sure, I'm all done."
He pushes his way in, forcing her back. Lloyd places his large hands on her shoulders, turning her body to lean against the sink.
"I have something to say." He growls softly.
"Don't."
"I have something to say, and if it hurts you more then I'm sorry but if I don't say it Becca, it'll kill me."
Not even a breath interrupted them, Rebecca heard the rawness in his voice. She didn't owe him anything, not a single moment. But in his eyes, she could see that whatever it was that he needed to say was tearing him to shreds. So, she had to let him.
"I love you, Rebecca. That's the reason, the reason for all of this. I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. But I can't have you walking away from this believing that I didn't or don't love you. Because I promise, I do."
Lloyd's heart ached. He knew as soon as the first three words had left his lips that he had hurt her, but once again his selfishness had taken over. He was telling the truth. if he didn't tell her then it would have killed him. He didn't feel any relief.
"I love you." Rebecca whispered.
That was like a thousand daggers to his heart.
She was always too good for him, too pure.
He had wrecked her.
Lloyd had said all he needed to, but somehow it didn't feel final.
Something was lingering between them.
Rebecca's shoulders relaxed, she edged herself towards him. "I love you, Lloyd." Her gentle hand placed on his cheek. She choked back on a watery smile as he rolled his face into her palm.
She raised herself onto her tiptoes, whispering "I forgive you." Into his ear. Placing a chaste kiss on the angle of his jaw.
"We're landing." Lloyd gulped.
Rebecca nodded her head; more streams of tears fell from her eyes as she squeezed them tight. Feeling the familiar brush of Lloyds thumbs as he sweeps them across her cheeks. His hands cup her face, tilting her head upwards. His breath warm against her lips as she feels him inch closer.
Both able to hear her breath hitch in anticipation.
Lloyd ghosts his lips against the pillowy softness of hers. He moans softly, as he feels her melting into him. If they could stay in this bubble forever life would be perfect.
She presses her hand against his chest pushing him away gently.
"I'm sorry." She breathes, "We have to stop."
Lloyd knew she was right, but one more moment spent with his lips brushed against hers was something that he needed. One more hit.
***
"Bex, who's the hottie?" McKenna's wandering eyes followed the stranger as he lugged the last boxes into her living room.
Rebecca chuckled, "That's Alan, he's a friend."
She stood outside her tiny two-bedroom yellow house, staring up at the beginning of her new life. Hazel and McKenna came to spend her first night together. It had been three painful weeks since the kiss in the jet. She hadn't seen or heard from Lloyd. It didn't mean she had forgotten about him, she had to stop herself at least ten times a day from asking Alan about him.
Alan. He had been a godsend. He painted her house, fixed shaky windows. Collected her belongings from her parents. Really anything that she required. Then every evening after the dinner they shared together, he dipped his head and left.
And she went back to her parents house to sleep and shower. That's all she did there. And if she saw them, the only conversation they had was brief small talk.
They didn't ask about him or mention him, and neither did she.
It was an unhealthy attachment she had formed with him, because having Alan here it meant she still had a little piece of Lloyd with her. But now that the house was done would he still be in her life? Alan saved her life, and Lloyds.
Alan bounced down the wooden steps from her porch to the front yard, "That's the last of it." He ran his hand over his sweaty hair.
"I'll meet you guys inside." Rebecca nudged her friends.
Sharing a quick glance with each other they giggled, "Bye Alan." Squeaking in unison as they ran up to the house.
"I think I'm gonna miss you more than you'll ever know, Alan." Rebecca simpered thankfully.
Alan scoffed, "Well you have a few shaky boards on that porch that I need to fix."
Rebecca's heart began to swell in her chest, "Tomorrow?"
"I have to uh...work. But how about next week?" He glanced at his cell phone.
Seeing Lloyds name on the flashing screen pulled at the slow healing wounds of her heart.
"Sure, next week." She pecked him on the cheek.
"Wine?" McKenna thrust a glass into Rebecca's hand the second she stepped through the front door.
She took a small sip curling her lip up at the taste of it. She hadn't been able to stomach any sort of alcohol since the airport incident. The thought of it sent shudders through her.
Hazel wrapped her arm around Rebecca's waist, "So you and Alan...?" She wiggled her eyebrows trying to pull some juicy gossip from her.
"No." Rebecca snapped, shaking her head in protest.
"Well then, can I have his number?" McKenna piped up taking Rebecca's glass out of her hand and setting it on the kitchen counter.
"Somehow I don't think you are Alan's type." Rebecca replied.
"I'm everybody's type."
"Do you have a penis?"
Hazel spat her wine across the kitchen, "Well Kenna, do you?"
"Damn... all the good ones are gay or married." McKenna snaps her head around wincing apologetically at Rebecca, "I'm sorry I didn't think."
Rebecca shook her head dismissing the apology, "Don't be. You can say the word, I'm not going to fall apart every time someone mentions the word. I'm fine, I'm fine." She presses her hand against her trembling lip, "I'm fine," She nods again, barely holding herself together, "I'm fine."
"We were convinced up until that last one." Both girls wrap their arms around Rebecca's frame.
"One fine too many?" Rebecca laughed through shameful sobs.
"It's okay, you'll get down to three, then maybe one day, two. Eventually, you'll be just fine." Both girls resting their heads on Rebecca's shoulders.
"One day." Rebecca whispers to herself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N:
I know what you're thinking, and I know you're probably getting preeeeeetty fed up...but trust my process.
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As always thanks for reading!