I've been waking up every hour, sweating and shaking. It's been the absolute worst night of my life.
As I become aware of my surroundings, I feel like Harper isn't next to me.
Last night, Harper drove my dad and I home as Caroline went back to her house. Once we got inside, Harper insisted to start a bath for me. Once I got out, I realized she had tidied up the house for us. Around 10, I had become tired. Harper and I didn't talk much that night but I thanked her a few times for staying, to which she responded "it's my promise."
Harper also had insisted that she slept in the spare room because I might of needed more space. I begged her to stay in my room, I didn't want to sleep alone and I needed her touch. I said that I didn't need space from her anymore and that we'll talk about it later.
We feel asleep cuddling as close as we could get, but now she's gone. My heart starts to race. "Harper?" I whisper. There's no response and water fills my eyes.
I can't loose another person.
I slip out of bed and walk downstairs to find her leaning against the counter drinking a glass of water. The lights are dim, making her look good.
"Rose? What are you doing up?" She says, as I walk closer. "Your eyes are glossy, love."
"I was scared when you weren't next to me. I was nervous you left me or something and- I can't lose someone else." I explain as I stand next to her, against the counter.
She wraps her hand around my hip, turning me around, and into her body. Her sweatshirt embraces me. "I would never leave you."
That reminds me all over again that I left her. the air in my lungs sting me a little, but I know she doesn't mean it in that way.
"Thanks Harper." I whisper into the light green sweatshirt.
I feel her nod. "Do you wanna go back-"
"No." I push myself farther into her. "I just wanna stay like this for a little... please."
"Anything for you, pretty." She rubs my back as I feel myself slowly falling asleep, standing in her arms.
The next thing I know is I'm being lifted up. I wrap my legs around her waist as she carries me up the stairs. "I like you like this, baby." She whispers, probably thinking I'm asleep.
She gently puts me under the blankets. Then she slowly makes her way over to the other side, nuzzling her face into my neck instantly.
Everything seems at peace.
I wake up just like how I fell asleep. Her arm is around my waist and her face is in my neck.
It's perfect.
I lay there, not ready for the day ahead. I'm not doing anything, even though Harper will probably try to get me out the house, but it's the first full day without mom. The thought of that alone makes me sick.
"Rose? Are you up?" Her soft morning voice fills the air and I feel warm again.
"Yeah." I say as she puts her face back in the crook of my neck. "I like laying like this."
She laughs a little and it sends vibrations through my body. "Me too, it feels comforting." The air gets thick as I believe we both start to think about what happened between us 3 days ago. "We'll talk about us later, for now I want to stay like this and enjoy being close to you. Is that okay?"
"It's more then okay." I whisper as she moves her body closer to mine. Even though she seems to be the more dominant one between the two of us, I like holding her like this.
We lay there for about ten more minutes before I feel the need to get up. "I gotta get up."
"Nooo," she whines, holding me tighter. "Whyy?"
A gross sensation comes over me. "I have to shower, I think it'll make me feel better."
"But you had a bath last night? Why don't I make you another." She proposes, which I don't mind the idea of, but I don't want to relax and sit in my own dirty water right now.
I smile at her as she rests her head on my chest, looking up at me. "I'm alright, love. I'm just gonna take a shower."
She nods, kissing my forehead but stopping. "Can I kiss you?" I don't know why she's asking when she kissed me last night. Maybe she feels weird because she still thinks I need space? I really don't know.
"Always." I respond as she lifts up a little to kiss my lips. We kiss for a few seconds before she pulls away. Damn, she really knows how to make me forget all my worries.
"Do you want me to turn the water on for you and get your shower started?"
"I'm alright, thank you though." I say, sitting up.
"Okay, I'm gonna go downstairs and see if your dad needs anything. Call me if you need me."
"Harper." I stop her right before she reaches my door. "I saw that you tidied up the house last night... thank you."
A smile spreads across her face. "Anything to help." And she walks out.
I get up, grab clothes, and head into the bathroom. I turn the water to hot. I need it to be burning my skin off the whole time I'm in there or else I can't shower.
I hop in and stand there, facing the water. I just stand there and let my thoughts run for a while about nothing. I try not to think about mom or anything that might make me upset. I don't feel like crying right now.
I must've been so deep in thought to not hear the door open or the sound of clothes being taken off.
The shower curtain opens and I stay where I am.
"I'm sorry, Rose. I couldn't help it. Plus, I need one too." Harper whispers as her hands wrap around my lower waist. "Are you okay with this? I'm sorry, I should've asked first before coming into your shower naked." I lean back into her. "I'll take that as a 'you're good with this'."
We stand there, like that, letting the water run on us. I always thought that I would've been uncomfortable if someone did this to me, but all I can feel tight now is loved.
And a little turned on, but that's besides the point.
"Turn around for me, pretty. I wanna see all of you." Yup, I'm officially fully turned on. I turn around, letting her see all of me. Letting her eyes explore the parts of me only one other person has seen before. "I'm so pissed that my brother got to see all of this before I did."
"It's all for you now." I whisper, seductively but very matter of fact.
She smirks as her eyes follow the curves of my body. "Is it now?"
"All of it." I smirk as she continues to eye fuck me.
"Does this mean you're done taking a break from me? I know I said we would talk about it later, we still can, but I gotta know now."
"I'm all done, Harper. Now... I'm all yours." I confess to her.
"That's right, Rosemarie. You're all fucking mine." She smashes her lips onto mine and pulls me closer into her as my hands go into her hair. She slips her tongue into my mouth, making me moan a little. "Fuck." She says into the kiss. "Rose, your body is fucking beautiful." She depends the kiss.
After a few minutes of making out in the shower, she pulls away. "All good?" I ask.
"More then good, but we gotta stop. If we don't stop now, I'm gonna fuck you right in this damn shower."
"Why don't you?" I don't think I've ever been this bold before, where did this come from?
"You fucking know I would, I've been waiting to. But, don't you think for now we should just shower together? I could wash your hair!" She gets a little too happily.
I laugh, trying to forget the fact that I want to fuck this woman so badly right now. "I'm surprised you're suggesting that after what just happened."
She brushed my hair behind my ear before giving me a kiss and continuing the conversation. "Oh don't worry I'll fuck you soon, but I want it to be special and not in a shower when you're sad. It's gonna be real special and I'm gonna make you feel good. It's coming soon, don't worry."
"Happy to hear. For now though, you can wash my hair if you want." I say as she smiles.
She grabs the shampoo as I turn around. She puts it into my hair and starts to massage my head. "Did I tell you how perfect you are? How perfect your body is? I hope you're not self conscious about it, because it's absolutely gorgeous. Every inch of you is stunning."
I blush. "You are too. Harper, not only are you the hottest person I've ever seen, but you're perfect and so is your heart."
"My heart?"
"Are you kidding?! You were there for me when your own brother cheated on me and after the fact. You were at the hospital, yesterday, when my mother died. You stayed over last night to make sure my dad and I were okay and you even cleaned the house for us." I smile up at her as she stops massaging my hair. "You've always been there for me no matter what. Don't think for a second I didn't recognize it."
"I do all those things because I love you and I'll always be there for you." She smiles and kisses me forehead.
I look down. "I'm sorry about leaving you."
She lifts my head up with her two fingers. "Don't be. I know why you did and it was pretty reasonable. It obviously hurt, but I knew it was what you needed and I had to give it to you."
"Did you ever think I wasn't coming back?" I had to know.
"Obviously it crossed my mind, but I tired not to think into it too much."
I give her a sad look. "I would never be able to leave you. I love you too much."
Her mouth opens a little. "You love me?"
I smile. "How could I not love you?" I realize her eyes get a little watery. "Come here, don't cry."
I hug her as the hot water still pours onto us. "I love you so much Rose, words can't even describe it or describe how happy I am that you feel the same way."
"You make me so happy, Harper. I'm happy to admit that I love you and I'm not scared anymore." I pull away and stand on my toes a tiny bit just to kiss her.
"Ugh, I'm so in love with you." She smiles at me. "I think for today we should just hang around here and you should spend time with your dad. I gotta get some things done at home, so I'll go do that then come back for a few hours. And how about tomorrow I pick you up and we go out and do stuff?"
"I'd love that."
"Perfect. Now come here and let me finish washing you up, pretty girl."