*•*•*•Let me just go have a lean cuisine•*•*•*
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Status: Not Edited
24hrs earlier
"I just want to inform you that you're a really sucky driver." I say laughing and he looks my way with a shocked expression making me laugh even more. "Look ahead before we crash."
"Princess I will let you know that I'm an amazing driver, ask anyone."
"Sure." I laugh more and I gasp. "You drive like my dad."
"Hey I'll let you know I'm an amazing driver missi." Dad says from the back seat and I turn around looking at him who was pouting and crossing his arms. I turn back around and smile. I feel a hand on my thigh and I grab it interlocking our fingers. I look down and with my free hand I rub my belly. We are on our way to see how our little monkey was doing. Dad just wanted to tag along and we let him because since Chase and I got married we barely see him.
"You both suck at driving." I whisper and I hear their protest making me laugh.
"Well we think it's you the one that doesn't know how to drive." Chase says looking at me again and smiling.
"Is that so?"
"It is." I stick out my tongue at him.
"How's our little rascal?"
"Good, it isn't kicking too much today."
"It?"
"Yes, I don't want to give it a gender yet."
"I bet, it's a girl." He grabs my hand kissing it and smiling. And then it happened again. I hear a honking from Chase's side of the car and we're rammed back into reality. Dad's dead, I'm not pregnant or married. And suddenly I'm back in school tucked in my bed. But this nightmare was far from over because when I look to the side Chase isn't there. I stand up looking at my bed to see if he's there and when I turn to his side of the room again, I don't see it I just see a street and hear someone's screams. I see Chase struggling to save himself.
"ADDIE!!" I see Chase in a car accident. I start running towards the wreck, towards him, but I can't. I crash into a bullet proof glass stopping me from going over to him. I start pounding on the glass and finding ways to get out there. The tears would not stop streaming down my face as I tried to break the glass. I look up and see a fire starting to form from the crash, and the car was leaking gasoline.
"No! No, no,no. GET OUT OF THERE!!"I say as I see the gasoline getting closer and closer to the fire. "Chase! Get away!!" I keep pounding on the glass but nothing.
"I love you Addie." He mouths before closing his eyes letting a few tears slide down his cheeks. I start to cry still seeing the gasoline getting closer and closer, until it reaches the fire. An explosion is heard throughout the dark space and I scream.
"NO!" I start hitting the glass again only to find out the glass is not there anymore. I start running barefoot to the car to get Chase out. When I reach his hand I drag him out of the car. He's dead. "I love you too." I sniffle and try to wipe away the tears that won't stop coming.
"All the people I love end up leaving me or dying."
I hear a broken voice say and I turn around to see a little sobbing. I stand up wiping away my tears and walking towards the girl picking her up. It's me. I realized that it's me.
"I know sweetie."
***
I wake up gasping for air looking around me, looking for Chase, seeing him fast asleep. I keep gasping for air not knowing how to calm myself down because he's always the one that calms me down.
I stand up and, without shoes and without a jacket, I leave the dorm. I take one last look at Chase before I leave. I walk to Alastair and it was harder than one would expect when you're gasping for air. I knock on Mays door tears still running down my face and me still gasping for air that won't reach my lungs. She opens the door rubbing the sleep off of her eyes and when she sees me gasping and crying she immediately starts firing questions my way.
"Are you okay? What happened? Why are you crying? Did somebody hurt you? Where are your shoes? Where's Chase?"
I walk in her room and take a seat on her bed still hyperventilating and crying, passing my hands through my hair. I can't stand this feeling. It feels as if my chest is closing in on itself. I need Chase, but I can't. I clutch my hand to my chest as if silently telling her that I can't breathe. She runs to her little fridge and gets out a bottle of water handing it to me before grabbing a towel and another bottle this time wetting the towel and pressing it to my forehead. She stands up and I grab her hand.
"No don't go."
"I'll be right back. I promise." She walks out of the room and I start to calm down. When she gets back she's talking with somebody. I feel somebody grab my hands and pull them away from my face, but I still keep my eyes closed.
"Princess?"
"Chase." I open my eyes and more tears spring out of my eyes. "You can't be here." I see the look of hurt in his eyes but ignore it.
"Why?"
"Because you can't."
"Why sweetie? Why can't he be here?"
"I just don't want his here." I say and pull my hands out of his grasp and push myself backwards towards the wall behind me, away from Chase.
"Chase." I hear May say when I closed my eyes. "I think you should go."
"But I-"
"Leave." Say and I can't see the hurt look on his face but I know it's there. I can hear footstesp walking away from me and others coming towards me.
"Did he hurt you?" I'm shocked she has to ask that but I understand, she sees me fall madly in love with him and then sees me pushing him away. It must be the first thing that ran through her mind. It wouldn't have been my first thought though. Chase isn't like that. He only cares for me. He would never hurt me.
"No." I hear the door close and I sigh tears running down my face.
"What happened babe?"
"I love him May." I cry and she nods.
"I know."
"He'll only end up hurt if he's with me."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because it's a pattern in my life that takes away my happiness. I don't want him to end up hurt. I love him, and it's not good for me to love him or anyone."
"Why?"
"Everybody dies, May. Everyone I love leaves me or dies and I can't lose him May I just can't." She climbs into bed with me.
...
After May had sat in bed with me we talked a bit more about what had happened and after that we decided to walk to breakfast because we didn't want to starve. I was still sad over the fact that I pushed Chase away. I really didn't want to do that. As May and I walked to the dining hall Chase walked out looking worse than me, he was passing a hand through his hair when he looked up and saw me.
"Chase." I say almost inaudibly but he heard it.
"Addie."
"May can you give us a minute?" May squeezes my hand before nodding.
"Sure." May walks into the dining hall and we're left standing here in awkward silence.
"Want to walk?" He ask and I nods.
"Chase I-" I starts but I interrupter by Chase.
"What happened this morning?" He asks and I shake my head.
"I don't know." I lie and he shakes his head.
"Add-"
"Look Chase it was all a mistake." I sigh pulling the hairs in my head to stop the raging headache.
"What was?"
"The kiss, us being friends, me ever meeting you, everything." I explain while walking back and forth his walking behind me.
"Don't say that. Just tell me what happened we can work it out." He tries to hold me but I push him away. God I hate this feeling, but he can't be in my life. He will end up hurt and I can't lose him. Even though I'm most probably losing him after this.
"We can't Chase. We just can't." I wrap my arms around myself.
"Addie come on, something must've happened in the time you said you liked me to now, because just yesterday you were kissing me like you couldn't live without me and now you're telling me that you don't even want to know me." He makes me unwrap my arms from around me and grabs my hands.
"Chase. I-"
"No Addie I love you and you're just trying to pull away." he says making my eyes start to water I take my hands out of his and push him away.
"No." I shake my head and start walking away, but he follows me.
"No, what? Talk to me."
"No, you don't love me." I yell as I turn around with tears streaming down my face.
"You can't decide what I feel for you Addie."
"Then I don't love you." I say breaking my own heart because I'm a fucking coward. I fucking hate this feeling. I hate that I'm afraid to love because there is this thing in me that is telling me to fucking push him away, because there's this thing in me that keeps telling me that he's going to die.
"What happened Addie? Why are you saying all of this?"
"Because I don't love you." I say and he frowns.
"What?" He takes a step back and I see some tears about to fall.
"I don't love you."
"Addie." He says wiping away some tears making more of mine fall.
"Chase, just don't. I- I can't love you."
"Princess." I hear him say, but I was already walking away.
...
I really wasn't feeling like breakfast, but then again who the fuck thinks 'Oh I just broke my best friends heart let me just go have a lean cuisine'. I fucking messed up and I can't make it better. I'm the worst person in this world and I'm gonna die alone because I push everybody away even the love of my life.
I ended up going to the twilight clearing, I really needed to think. When I got there I started to cry because this is our place. Mine and Chase's, our hideaway, our little piece of peace.
I dropped on my knees and clutched my heart feeling worse than I have ever felt. It was this moment that made me realize that I had never felt love before Chase. I loved Javi and I loved James and all of the other guys, but I was never in love with them. They weren't my happiness, they weren't my person, and they weren't Chase. The person that I love and would kill for because I love him so much that it physically hurt.
Hurting Chase was a messed up thing to do, but if he died it would've hurt more than a bullet to the chest. I could survive through that but I could never go through losing him. I would much more rather die myself then fucking lose him. I just lost him though. Oh god I need to make things right.
I stand up and start running towards the dorms I need to see him. I need to take everything back. As I'm running back I see May and Lizzie walking towards Alastair and they stop when they see me running.
"Whoa mama. Why are you running?" May says putting her hands on my shoulders stopping me from running any further.
"I messed up I need to tell him how he make me feel. I need to tell him that I love him too."
"Too?"
"He told me he loved me this morning."
"What?"
"No TIME! I need to tell him before he leaves me." I say and the three of us start running towards the dorms. I was looking at the floor when I crashed into somebody. My somebody. I look at the bag and keys. It's too late. I was about to speak when he side steps me and starts walking towards the parking lot. I grab his wrist and he turns around pulling his writs from my hand as if I had burned him.
"Don't." His voice breaks and I almost start crying right then and there.
"Chase." He shakes his head.
"No, you said what you said, I understand now. I love you so please... please let me go." May and Lizzie gasp but I wasn't worried about that, tears spring in my eyes and he grabs my head kissing my forehead and I cry into his hands. He doesn't linger for a second more and walks away making me break down in tears.
"Chase." I say one last time before he disappeared completely only to appear a few seconds later in his car leaving completely without looking back. I cry. My heart leaving in his car with him.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE
Hello my lovelies. Rough few chapters eh? I think so. Okay I'm very sorry there really wasn't any reason to create this much drama but I have been told that I have a flare for the dramatics. I mean I am dramatic, but back to the topic. What did you guys think of this chapter? I like it, but I fucking hate Maddison right now she was very wrong for doing that. But at least now you know the reason why she did what she did and why she said what she said. I mean why else would she have done that? Anywhore please tell me what y'all thought about it.
Remember my loves to always comment those amazing comment, vote those pretty starts and you don't really have to share I just say it to be quirky.
The saddest part when we leave each other and never know when we'll see each other again. My precious babies I hope that I can see you next Friday, because I love you guys so much I want to post every Friday even when I have writers block I'm always thinking about you guys. Byeee.