Natashas pov:
I woke up in a similar position to the night before with wanda still hugging me. For some reason I felt slightly guilty; the poor girl had spent her entire life being tortured with her family members deaths and hydra. Now I was another person she would most likely lose, I wasn't exactly suicidal but if it meant helping a mission I'd do it. The team means lots to me. They've been there when my family hasn't so of course I'd sacrifice myself without a second thought. I didn't want wanda to be put through another death. I loved her and it hurt to see her in so much pain.
With that I slowly untangled myself from her and left the room. I returned to mine to get changed into sports gear and left the compound. To get my mind off things I ran. Without stopping. I had no idea where I was or where I was going but I just kept running. It didn't matter anyways; I'd eventually return.
I ran and ran and ran until I was in a forest and through the congregation of trees there was a view of the sea. It was beautiful and shone in the morning light. I stop running and walk towards the opening in the towering trees. I'd only then realised yet that I had tears streaming down my face and had been for a while since my cheeks felt incredibly damp.
When I reach the edge it wasn't that far down. So I sat on the edge.
"Where else am I going to get a view like this" I mumble to myself.
The clouds were perfectly shaped and floated effortlessly through the pale blue sky. I wish I could be like that. Without worry. No red in your ledger. Free to roam. No trauma. It just seems like the perfect life.
I sat staring at the sky for ages but it was nice. I didn't want to think about things to do with the compound and my friends.
I decided to get up and run further into the forest, hoping to find something interesting.
And sure enough I did.
I found a cabin. Dark wood. It was small but looked homely. I couldn't see anything through the windows.
I wanted to go inside, to see if there was any life inhabiting it. I slowly walk up the steps not bothering to reach for my gun or any sort of weapons. I didn't care at that point. I gently twist the door handle and creak it open. I walk in and start to look around. Someone definitely lived in it by the boots at the edge of the door and dirty plates next to the sink.i turn and look down the short corridor to find a slightly taller blonde woman. She hadn't noticed me. It was like she was looking right through me.
On closer inspection the woman had blue mascara on and black eyeshadow that outlined her eyes. She had quite a round face and her hair was in a single plait through the middle of her head.
She walked over to the kitchen counter top, gently picking up a strip of photos of two children. One blue haired girl and a blonde. They were both smiling and looked truly happy to be with each other.
That was when it hit me. Them photos were of me and yelena. This is yelena? She escaped dreykov?
"Yelena?" I said in a gentle voice trying not to startle the woman as she hadn't paid any attention to the fact I was there.
There was no verbal response. Only a confused look across her face as she glanced around the room. She laid her eyes on where I was standing but still didn't notice me. What was going on?
"Yelena it's nat"
The blonde slowly pulled her hand towards a gun shoved into her pocket.
I slowly walk forward towards her. I felt invisible. She wasn't noticing me. I hadnt seen her since she was six without being control of dreykov. And now I had finally gotten to see her and she didn't... see me?
When I was close enough I reached out my two hands and tried to hold her face.
As soon as I touched it however it blurred away. The girl. The photos. The cabin. And I was the only thing left. There wasn't even any marks in the ground to show where it had been or even a space big enough for it to fit.
Had I gone insane?
I stood frantically looking around trying to find yelena. Where had she gone?
"Yelena!" I shout hoping to get the girls attention.
No response.
"Yelena where are you? Y-You were just here. I just saw you. W-where have you gone lena." I say still wishing for a response. Still nothing came. Instead I cried. I felt the tears run down my face endlessly. I didn't even try to hold them back. It was impossible.
Instead I collapsed to the ground. I just sat kneeling. My heart had felt like it had been stabbed a million times. Why was this so crushing? Was I hallucinating? Had I gone insane? This was torture. I had came here to escape my problems temporarily and instead came across more; unintentionally.
I tried to forget about them but now it was all coming back. I really missed her. It was excruciating to think about how I left her. Had she even escaped yet? What if I went to go look for her but she was still there? I don't even know where the red room is. It constantly moves and I could never take it down solo. He's way too powerful.
I was sobbing for what felt like hours. There was no way to save her or to find her if she had escaped.
And still I was running to try and make it go away. I really was a baby.
I'd made it out of the forest and had entered a small town. There were a few cafes and small shops. A hotel was around the corner so I decided to book in there. I couldn't return to the others looking and acting like this. I only booked for the night hoping I would be alright.
I woke up incredibly early that morning. I had only slept in my underwear as I had nothing else. I quickly took a shower as I was still disgusting from the previous day. Some how I had managed to spend an entire day in a forest crying. What the hell was wrong with me.
-
Once I arrived back at the compound it was midday. It had taken me hours to return to my home. I walked out of the elevator doors into the main room and headed straight for my room. Ignoring the eruption of questions from the boys gathered around the TV.
I immediately locked my door and asked FRIDAY to turn anyone away if they tried to enter. I swing open my closet trying to find some comfy clothes and settle when I find a tank top and some sweatpants.
With that I walk over to my bed and completely pass out. I had done lots of exercise yesterday and hadn't had anything to eat or drink; I was completely malnourished.
-
When I woke up I looked at my alarm clock on the bedside table.
'2:30 amazing I have slept through another day'
I got up to go to the kitchen. I was starving and my mouth was incredibly dry.
I was making a sandwich and took a glass out of the cupboard to fill with water.
Once my food was made I sat down and started eating. It wasn't anything fancy but it tasted nice.
"Nat? What are you doing" a voice said from along the corridor.
"Eating." I respond as if it wasn't obvious.
"What happened? Where have you been these past few days?"
I just stayed silent. I didn't want to be reminded of what had happened.
"Nat. Say something. It's like you don't want to talk to me."
"Wanda not right now." I said as I got up to leave the room. I couldn't look at her right now.
"But-"
"Please." I said in a stern voice Interrupting her.
I get to my room and slam the door shut. I understood that these people cared about me but why couldn't I just be left alone.
I sat lying in my bed for hours, just staring at the ceiling. I had no idea what to do with myself anymore. All I knew was that I couldn't speak to her anymore.
Her.
She was the one I was trying to protect.
I loved her but wouldn't let that get in the way. I has to start to ignore her otherwise she'd get hurt.
-
I looked back over at the clock and it had said 5:27. Close enough to morning. I went to go train as I had not long ago eaten.
I'd reached the gym and headed straight for the punching bags. I fought against it over and over. Bruising my knuckles and making gashes all over them. It hurt like hell but didn't stop.
I went on to go to the treadmills and ran as fast as I could on it for ages. This time no woods to get lost in. Just the plain wall infront of me. And the door, the door that just opened and Steve walked in through.
"Hey nat" He said giving a small smile. I knew where this was going already but didn't want to be the first one to bring it up.
"Hey" I said returning my attention back on running.
The room was silent for quite a while. He was lifting weights and I was still running.
"Want to fight?" He said.
"Sure" I said switching off the treadmill and slowly getting off it.
We fought for a while until he finally started to talk again.
"You should wear gloves, your knuckles don't look too good"
"Doesn't hurt so I don't need to" I lied. They hurt a lot.
"You can't lie to me. I may be old but I can tell when someone's lying. Anyways, what happened on your adventure?" He threw a punch at me but I grab his arm and knock the back of his knee making him fall.
"Nothing" I said
"I'm a good listener you know"
"Yeah but I still won't speak"
"Fine, but whatever did happen, or anything in general, you can talk to me about it you know."
This was one of the things I liked about Steve. He was very caring.
But I walked out the room anyways going back to ignoring wanda. She met me in the corridor and attempted to say something. Why didn't she get the hint? I told her to go away and the look on her face made me instantly regret it. She was almost in tears. Why couldn't she understand I was doing this for her? Wasn't she a mind reader?