She spent the morning in the library, applying for jobs online. Not that there were a lot of jobs to apply for. Two weeks before Christmas was about the worst time to be looking for a job. Most of the retail stores would be cutting staff in a few weeks, in fact. Many companies sent an automated response to her queries—the HR department would be out of office until January 4. Another reason to hate Christmas. But she went ahead and applied for every opening she found, including a couple of jobs with a temp agency.
That actually might work out best, anyway. A short-term position would give her a paycheck while she looked for something that suited her skillset. And she definitely needed a paycheck soon. She needed a way of sustaining herself, because if she failed here, her only other option was Colorado and Mom and Dad.
And besides, she didn't want to leave here. She didn't want to leave... Leo. Which was crazy because she'd only known him a week. But she was crazy, right? She was seeing ghosts.
With nothing much to do besides go home to where those ghosts were, she decided to walk around the downtown area. The Christmas Village was a little quieter on a weekday afternoon. There were only a few mothers with small children at the reindeer stables. Santa was apparently on break until later.
She tried not to give much attention to the holiday decorations on every lamppost, but it was difficult. Everywhere she looked there was some reminder to be jolly. Strangely, those well-wishes didn't anger her as much as they did even a few days ago. Now, it was kind of quaint, homey. And even though Christmas would be a bust for her this year, she didn't feel as much pain as she did before.
She stopped in front of Diana's, an expensive dress shop that she'd never even been inside. Some of the girls in high school had gotten prom dresses from there. And her mom got a dress there once, for her cousin's wedding.
Today, there was an aluminum Christmas tree in the window, with red satin baubles. Two mannequins stood on either side of it. On the right, a faceless woman's form in a long, emerald satin halter dress held a brightly wrapped present in front of her. And on the left, reaching toward the tree with a bauble wired to her hand, was a mannequin in the most beautiful red dress she'd ever seen.
It was a tea-length, deep red party dress, with a draped neck and a low back held in place by crisscrossed sparking, delicate chains. Even without a face, the mannequin seemed very happy to be wearing it.
"You would look great in that." A familiar voice behind her startled her out of her reverie.
She smiled as Leo came to stand next to her. "Green is not my color."
He was not fooled. He just smiled and pointed to the red one. "You should get it."
She blushed at his obvious flirtation. "I could never afford a dress like that."
He shrugged. "Ask Santa."
She scoffed. "If I asked Santa for anything, it wouldn't be a stupid, sexy dress."
He gave that some thought. "What would you ask for?"
She paused, thinking about everything she had lost in the space of two weeks—boyfriend, best friend, house, stability, security, a future. Maybe she would have asked for those things back before, but now? Now, she didn't even want them. Or at least she didn't want them in their previous incarnations. Now she wanted—
She cut her own, impractical, silly thoughts off with a more tangible, timely matter. "A job."
"Don't give up." He looked from the dress to her. Then he cocked his head toward the front door. "I have to pick up the dresses for tomorrow night's show."
She raised her eyebrows. "Here?"
"Diana Teagan is one of the grandparents. She's tailoring the costumes for the show this year." He raised his eyebrows as well. Then he laughed and waved a hand, indicating she should join him. "I'm just here to pick up the last bunch."
The large jingle bells attached to the door announced their entrance and a well-tailored young woman smiled at them both. "Hi Leo. I'll let Diana know you're here."
"Thanks." He turned to Emily and dropped his voice, "Try on the dress."
"No." She blushed and whispered harshly, "I can't afford it. I told you."
"So what? You don't have to buy it. Just try it on." He laughed and nudged her playfully. "Isn't that what you girls like to do?"
That made her laugh. "Oh, so you're an expert on what girls like to do?"
"I'm most definitely not." He laughed too, embarrassed. "When you see me in the yearbook and remember me, you'll know for sure I'm not and never have been an expert on what girls like."
"Leo!" An older woman entered the sales floor from the back. She was exquisitely coifed and dressed and the diamond on her hand was larger than her knuckle. She waved a hand behind her at the young woman carrying several dress bags. "This is the last of them."
Leo hurried to take them out of the woman's hands. "These are going to look great!"
"I know!" Diana seemed excited herself. "I can't wait to see them on stage!"
"The kids have all been working very hard." He shifted the dress bags in his arms and Emily moved to take a few from him. "It's going to be the best year ever."
As if the older woman's visual acuity was based on movement, she suddenly saw Emily. Her eyes flicked up and down and then she smiled. "Hello, I'm Diana Teagan."
"Sorry. I'm a barbarian." Leo cocked his head toward Emily since his hands were full. "Mrs. Diana Teagan, this is Miss Emily Shepherd."
"Hi." Emily shifted the bag to one hand so she could offer her right. "It's nice to meet you, ma'am."
"Miss?" Diana's eyes flicked back to Leo and she smiled slyly. "Miss Shepherd is your...?"
Leo smiled and Emily's cheeks burned. He laughed it off. "Today she's my helper."
"That's nice." Diana nodded. "Glad to see you have someone helping you. You've been without help for so long."
Leo turned to Emily in a stage whisper, "She means helpless."
Then he turned back to Diana and mortified her even further. "She wants to try on that red dress in the window."
Emily gasped and almost ducked behind the dress bags in her arms. "I do not!"
"That would look stunning on you, with your hair and tone," Diana agreed.
"I can't—" She turned and shot Leo a look to keep him from smiling so broadly. "I just don't really have the time today, thank you."
"Thanks, Diana. See you Friday." He nodded and they exited the shop.
Outside, Emily bumped Leo with her shoulder. "Why would you do that?"
He just laughed in response. "You should come to the pageant."
"The high school Christmas pageant?" She smiled and shook her head.
"Sure." His expression became more serious now, though he was still smiling. "Why not?"
She shook her head and laughed humorlessly. "I never went to those when I was in high school."
He raised an eyebrow. "Never?"
She frowned, the taste of vomit suddenly remembered. She tried to tell Miss Cuzak she was nervous and couldn't do a stupid solo. She could barely do it in class, with her eyes closed and Miss Cuzak yelling Louder, please! Project! She begged her not to make her do it, begged her parents to keep Miss Cuzak from making her, and pointed out the ten other girls who were begging to actually do the stupid solo.
It was like Miss Cuzak just wanted to humiliate her—which she did, after Emily threw up onstage just as her solo was about to begin. Everyone was grossed out and she just ran off. The show was delayed for twenty minutes while the janitorial staff cleaned up and Miss Cuzak was not silent in her disdain for Emily's stage fright.
She doubled down in the face of Leo's prying. "No. I never went to one."
He seemed to consider that a moment, then he nodded. "Okay. Well, the music teacher is in charge of the choir productions, so..."
She quirked an eyebrow. "So that's where you'll be on Friday night?"
He nodded. She wanted him to say something, but she didn't know what. He'd invited her to see the pageant that he was producing, so what that his way of asking her out on a date?
She glanced at him as they walked. "So you're saying don't get locked out of the house on Friday night?"
He smiled slyly. Yes. He knew she knew it was a date. "Yes. That's the only thing I'm saying."
She knew he knew, too. They reached his truck and he put his dress bags on the passenger seat. She handed him hers, as well.
He looked at her a long, awkward moment then he said seriously, "You should come. 7 pm in the auditorium Friday."
She smiled and waved as she walked away. This smile was a different sort of smile than she'd experienced before, but she decided not to analyze it. She just let it sit there on her lips as she crossed the street to head back to her own car.
**
At nine on the dot, Leo texted her. On my way. Pizza. Paper plates.
She sent him a tongue out emoji. I have real plates.
He responded. LOL. Fancy.
Emily smoothed the front of her sweater and checked her look in the bathroom mirror one last time. Soft white fuzzy sweater, soft rust-colored pants, heels that were not at all comfortable but looked fantastic. She leaned forward and tucked a bit of hair behind her left ear.
"Better to look good than to feel good," she told herself. "Just don't trip over your own feet."
Then, as if to tempt fate, she paced the house until she heard Leo's truck in the drive. Her stupid heart was beating rapidly by the time she got to the door and fumbled with the lock.
He was waiting on the porch when she got it open, one eyebrow raised. "Maybe we should start with the door lessons?"
"Ha ha." She took the pizza from him and carried it to the table.
He followed her, shutting the door behind him. "You look nice."
"Thanks." She gave him a look. "Don't sound so surprised."
"Not surprised." He shrugged. "Just... saying."
She busied herself with the table, which was already set, so she wasn't doing anything to it except pretending. "How was rehearsal?"
"Great." He pulled one of the chairs out and nodded to indicate she should sit. "Kids are really doing well."
"Good. Good." She let him seat her, then watched as he took the chair opposite.
They stared at each other awkwardly for a moment. Then Leo laughed and opened the pizza box. "It's going to get cold."
"Of course." She laughed nervously. Why was she so nervous? "Did you bring your yearbook?"
"I did." He smiled broadly. "It's in the truck."
"Good." She smiled and nodded. "Did you look me up?"
"Haven't had the chance to." He shoved pizza into his mouth evasively.
She laughed. "Sure."
"Can't believe you don't remember me," he said around a bite. "It's not like it was a big school."
"Well, you don't remember me, either," she countered. "So there."
He didn't answer that, just smiled.
"So why did you become a music teacher?" She tried to make conversation. "In Johnson?"
"I like music." He shrugged. "I like Johnson."
She laughed.
"I really wanted to be a rock star." He rolled his eyes. "I just didn't have the, uh, what's it called?"
She shrugged and laughed, "Opportunity?"
"Talent," he said. "That's the word I was looking for. I didn't have the talent to be a rock star."
"I'll be the judge of that." She laughed. "Sing something."
He shook his head. "Oh no. Not on a first date."
"This is a date?" She raised her eyebrows playfully.
"No, I mean, it's not really." His smile dropped. "There's food. It's night."
She couldn't bear to see his casual confidence fade. She smiled. "It can be a date. We can call it that."
"Well, it's dinner at least." He sighed.
"A dinner date." She nodded. "We're on a date."
"Still not going to sing." His smile was back. "Takes a lot of nerve to do a solo, even if it's just an audience of one."
She felt the smile slip away from her lips, forced it back. "Yeah."
He'd seen that slip and recovery. "But to answer your question seriously, I became a music teacher because I wanted kids to experience the joy of music, to have that art to express themselves with."
She nodded. "That's good."
"Especially these days, they're cutting funding for things like art and music. And STEM is important, don't get me wrong, but so is expression." His face was serious now, passionate. "We have a responsibility as a community, as a society, to help kids grow into whole people."
She nodded again, impressed with his enthusiasm. "I agree."
"And as for why I'm here in Johnson," he shrugged. "I had such a bad music teacher. Well, you know Miss Cuzak."
Emily rolled her eyes. Yes. She knew Miss Cuzak.
"So many kids lost their excitement for music because of her." He frowned. "It was life changing in a bad way."
Emily nodded. She knew that from experience.
"I want to be a life changing teacher in a good way." He smiled his sweet, nerdy little smile. "Kinda dorky, right?"
She shook her head. Rose was right about him. He was a good man. "Not dorky at all."
He laughed, breaking the serious mood. "Well, wait until you see the high school me in the yearbook. That's some five-star dorkiness going on there."
"I'm sure for me, too." She laughed. "I did not have a clue about fashion."
"You were cute." He laughed. "I'm sure you were cute."
She rolled her eyes. "To my mom, maybe."
"Oh, I'll bet you had plenty of guys who liked you." He looked at her as if he actually believed that.
"Well, you'd lose that bet." She laughed. "No one was interested in me, even in college."
He shook his head. "I don't believe you."
She nodded. "Believe it."
"Then when did you change?" His smile was still the same, but his eyes were serious now. "When did you get so hot?"
She laughed out loud. "You are the only one who thinks so, I assure you."
His eyes twinkled over a slice of pizza. "So what have you been doing since you left Johnson?"
"College. Business degree." She shrugged. "Some random jobs. And I was a department manager at a large store in Chicago. Von Houten's."
"Nice." He nodded. "Did you like that?"
She frowned, struggling to answer. Did she? "No. Not really."
He studied her face. "That's why you left?"
"I guess I liked the job okay." She cast her eyes toward a spot on the wall. If she really thought about it, she did like the job itself. It was Jake that she didn't like. And for a long time, too. "I liked the work. I liked talking to the customers. I liked developing the associates so they can advance, too."
"Ah." He nodded. "I get it."
"What?" She turned back with a laugh. "What do you get?"
He shrugged with a tip of his head to the side. "You didn't leave the job. You left someone."
She sighed. "Well, it's true what they say. People don't leave jobs, they leave managers."
He nodded. He was not fooled by her deflection.
She sighed again. "They also say don't shit where you eat."
He smiled. "They do say that, don't they?"
Saying it out loud, to Leo, made her cheeks hot. What would he think of her? She cleared her throat. "I was stupid."
He shook his head. "He was stupid."
She gave him a small smile. "And now I'm here."
He nodded. "And now you're here."
She looked down at the empty pizza box. "Oh my God. That was eight pieces. You're probably thinking I'm a pig."
He shook his head playfully. "I'm pretty sure I ate most of those."
She blushed and picked up the plates to move them to the sink.
"I'll put this in the trash." He stood and grabbed the box. "And I'll get my yearbook out of the car so you can see how painfully awkward Past Leo was."
"Just watch that door." She called over her shoulder. "It's tricky."