"Merry Christmas!"
My eyes fluttered open to an excited scream that could only have come from Sam. Nestled on one and a half cushions of the couch, Haley's legs absorbed the remainder of space and more—every vacant crevice occupied by pieces of her.
The living room itself resembled that of the shack—a sight that, strangely, caused nostalgia to wash over me. The boys, sprawled uncomfortably on the hard wood—somehow managing to lay in the scarce areas that were not engulfed in sleeping bags and blankets—were peering up at us eagerly, like little kids who had counted down the minutes until morning. I laughed as Haley flicked Sam's head, sinking back into the corner of the cushion opposite of me.
"Mommmmm, come on," Sam whined, my face distorting at the sound of his high-pitched wail.
"First of all, do not ever call me that again," Haley muttered from within the comfort of the sofa. "Second of all, go away."
"You're going to miss the Feast if you don't get up, lazy bones," Sam murmured, annoyance tainting his tone. "Sade, I thought you were better than this. You haven't gotten up this late since, well..."
I knew what he was referring to, and I cringed at the thought of myself proudly wearing those damn pajama pants backwards. Alex's reaction was non-existent; judging by his tousled hair and blank stare towards the kitchen, it was clear that he, too, was not fully awake yet.
"You people are practically zombies, for the love of God. How are you not excited?"
I groaned, holding a throw pillow over my face to prolong the darkness for a few more seconds. The Feast of the Winter Star, a staple event in the lives of locals, was no stranger to me; Sam had been gushing on and on about it for the past few weeks.
Admittedly, it had become something I was looking forward to. Winter at the farm was desolate, even with the constant company of the three stooges. Crops couldn't grow, the animals couldn't come outside, and it was too cold for Alex to work out on the shipping bin—he had begun to retreat to his weight set at Evelyn's every morning.
I panned the room, my gaze landing on the crumbled letter that I had received from Lewis a few days prior. Revealed on the parchment was the name of the villager whose gift I was assigned this year—a discovery that was less than pleasant.
Alex had claimed that the picks were rigged after we received our envelopes, asking the others if they had ever gotten the person they had hoped for. His query was met with solemn head shakes.
"I mean, there is an easy gift to give, yes, but I don't want to be responsible for fueling that damn addiction," he huffed, staring intently at Pam's name scrawled in large print across the note.
"You want to bitch about fueling an addiction? At least Pam doesn't spew all over the Saloon every night," Sam said, his energy matching Alex's as he attempted to throw his mail across the room. The weight, or lack thereof, of the letter caused it to flutter onto the floor, Shane's name written in bright red across the center.
"I wonder if I could kidnap Emily for this," Haley mused, looking at her assignment. Clint.
"Seems like Emily might be occupied," I sighed, my eyes glazing over as her name stared back at me. "What are the odds, seriously?"
"Well, if you take the number of—"
"Shut the fuck up, Sam!" Haley screeched, her command immediately being met.
"Here, just switch with me," Alex suggested, now leaned back into the recliner with his feet propped on the coffee table. "I'll give her a pile of dirt. Or coal. Whatever it is Santa gives pieces of shit for Christmas."
"Nah, switch with me!" Sam chimed in. "I'll give her a nice, big can of kick-ass."
"You two are ridiculous," I muttered, crumpling the paper and throwing it in the direction of the trash can; it landed on the counter. "I'm not switching with either of you. Everyone deserves a good Christmas."
"We don't always get what we deserve," Alex murmured. "Did you deserve to..."
"Don't," I said, holding my hand up. "I didn't. But I wasn't the only one that got hurt."
"But she—"
"I know what she did, Alex. Forgive and forget, alright?"
"How can you just move on? You were one of the closest people to her, and she was sneaking around behind your back."
I cleared my throat uncomfortably as Haley chuckled, slinging her arm across my shoulders. "Even the bestest of friends sneak behind each other's backs," she smirked, pinching my cheek and wiggling it around. "Right, Sade?"
"Woah, woah, woah," Sam interjected, swiftly moving towards us. "What are you talking about?"
"You didn't hear?" she laughed. "Alex and Sadie are totally hooking up."
"Well, shit, I had an inkling, but...it was never, like, confirmed." he said, his eyes darting between us as his jaw rested on the ground. "How did you find out? How is Sadie still alive right now?"
I could feel a rush of blood flooding into my face as the banter continued, Alex's eyes trying to summon mine to meet his. I ignored his gaze. God, let this be over.
"I vowed to never disclose what I saw," she said, shooting a wink towards me. "But Sam?"
"What?"
"You would've been totally bricked up."
I snapped out of my trance to a groggy Haley arising from the couch and mustering up a big yawn. Ruffling my hair on the way past, she headed through the doorway to my bedroom and into the bathroom. The sound of the shower turning on was quickly masked by the screech of the coffee maker brewing Sam's fresh pot; it would only be a few more moments before he asked if we wanted any. We did not.
Twenty minutes had come and gone, the guys freshening up in the reflection of the microwave as the shower stream still hissed from the other room. I turned away as they began to change, the sound of denim scraping their legs and zippers fastening once again drowning out the sound of the water.
"Haley?" I said, lightly tapping on the bathroom door. "It's me. Can I come in?"
"Of course!" she exclaimed.
I pushed into the space, steam immediately flooding my vision. "Good lord, woman, it's like you're showering in lava," I chuckled, wiping the accumulated condensation off of the mirror and grabbing my toothbrush.
"I wouldn't have it any other way," she laughed, the fog of the room finally beginning to fizzle out.
Through the shower curtain, I could see a vague silhouette of her body, my eyes fixated on the shadow's movement as she ran through her routine. The motion of my hand slowed down, toothpaste slowly beginning to pool at my bottom lip.
"Oh, sorry," she said, poking her head out of the curtain. Water dripped down her forehead, drenching her eyelashes and flooding onto her collarbone. "Did you need to get in here?"
"What?"
"Am I taking too long?"
"Oh, no, sorry," I said, embarrassment seeping through my veins as I tore my eyes away from her.
"You alright?" she asked, a sly smile creeping onto her features. Oh God, she knows.
"Yes," I said quickly, sucking the toothpaste back into my mouth. "Just stressed about the Feast."
"Don't worry about it, love," she said sweetly, her voice muffled through the curtain. "All you have to do is give her the gift. Hell, you could put it under the tree and just hope she finds it."
I peered out of the bathroom and onto my bed, where a shiny, violet amethyst lay peacefully—a tag attached to it with Emily's name on it.
"Amethyst is a healing crystal, you know," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "Maybe since she believes in that kind of stuff, it'll help her...you know...move on."
"You're too good for this world, Sade," Haley sighed, turning the water off and reaching a wet hand into the open to grab her towel. "She doesn't deserve your kindness."
"Maybe not," I said, thinking back to the last time we had this conversation. "But I didn't deserve yours, either, and here we are."
"Sadie," Haley said sternly, whipping the shower curtain open. I kept my eyes glued to hers, my brain longing to look down. "Alex and I were never anything. Josh was your boyfriend of, like, almost seven years. There is an extreme difference."
"She didn't know we were together."
"Maybe not at first, but you told her, remember? You told her months before this whole thing blew up, and she still brought him here, to Pelican Town. It was like she wanted to get caught."
It was like she wanted to get caught. The words replayed in my head, over and over, as Haley threw a big t-shirt on after patting dry.
With that, Haley had left the bathroom, the sound of her hair dryer from the bedroom now filling the empty space. I sighed, pulling my clothes on and grabbing the gift from my mattress. God, here goes nothing.
——————————————————
Towne Square looked beautiful, the surrounding trees decked out in ornaments—lights twinkling from within the branches. The smell of fresh, winter air consumed the space, the sky the color of fresh fallen snow.
While the others spread out to talk to family and tackle the buffet, my legs were frozen in place. You won't be able to enjoy yourself until you do it, Sadie.
I grunted at my pure misfortune, and stormed towards the head of bright blue hair standing near the central Christmas tree.
"Emily," I cleared my throat as I approached, holding the gift box tightly to my chest. I felt like I had just moved here again, standing fearfully at Haley's front door—ready to beg for forgiveness. Not this time.
I could see that she was startled as she turned around, her eyes widening at the sight of me; we hadn't talked since the incident. "Sadie, hi," she said gingerly.
"Oh, I'm not Sadie," I said, a small smile creeping onto my face at her confusion. "I'm Santa."
I outstretched my arms, the shining gold wrapping paper reflecting the lights of the tree. "You're...you're my secret Santa?"
"Not so secret anymore, I guess, but hey—open it up!" I said, the sunshiney demeanor of my tone feeling more forced than ever.
"An amethyst," she said quietly, taking it out of the encasing.
"The crystal of healing," I said, my voice just as low. "You know, you deserve to heal from this, too."
Before I could register her movements, she had pulled me into a hug—her grasp so tight that it almost prevented me from breathing. "Why?" she whispered into my ear. "Why are you being so kind?"
"Because," I said, releasing myself from her arms and holding onto her shoulders. "I'm fortunate enough to have an amazing support system to help me through this. You haven't been so lucky."
"I don't deserve to have someone holding my hand through this," she sighed, her eyes becoming glassy. "You told me about Josh, and all I did was lose my mind. I could've told you right then and there. Hell, I should've told you right then and there. But I wasn't sure, Sadie—I didn't know what was going on. His story wasn't the same as yours, and there were things you didn't know either."
"What?" I asked, my voice shaky. "What do you mean?"
"Josh and I were never in love, Sadie," she said, tears beginning to roll down her cheeks. "There are greedy people in this life; there are people who will do anything for an extra dollar. Josh...He was one of those people."
A lump formed in my chest as she spoke, a new perspective piling on top of what felt like millions that I already had. "He...He said he loved you. That day in Joja, he said he loved you."
"He loved what I did for him, Sadie," she croaked, her words slowly becoming harder to understand through her sobs. "Without me, there would be no Pelican Town Joja. Without the Joja Mart here, he wouldn't be making a single cent more than you did. Remember what he said? He made a deal with the devil, Sadie...He made a deal with my parents. I was just a pawn in the game."
I let her story settle in, the facts distantly lining up with what Josh had told me—yet, now, they were unfolding into a new light.
"He knew from the start what the terms and conditions would be," I groaned, rubbing my temples. "Your parents didn't spring this on him. He agreed to it off the bat."
"Yes," she said, finally meeting my eye. "I'm the one who didn't agree to it."
"Why...Why did you pretend to be hurt during the big confrontation?"
"You never know when my parents could be watching," she said, looking around cautiously. "If you are in a Joja anything—market, corporate headquarters, even a warehouse—there's a 99% chance that they are listening; if the fact that our relationship was fake came to light, we'd both be crucified. I mean, seriously, every single building, item, everything, belonged to them. Why do you think you didn't know the password to Josh's safe at first?"
I glanced around, thinking back to the random password. "That's the day we got hired by Joja."
"No, Sadie," she said, shaking her head. "Josh had been involved for a long time before then—a long time."
"Then what is it?" I shot back, disgusted at the bite of my own tone.
"0427. That's my birthday, Sadie."
My breath caught itself in my throat, tears welling up in my eyes. "How do you think they were convinced to hire you? It sure as hell wasn't Josh's doing."
"You..." I stuttered. "You convinced them?"
"It was my one birthday wish," she mumbled. "Josh was involved for the money, and I was involved by my parents' choice. We weren't in love, Sadie; we never even tried to be."
"I'm confused," I said bitterly, crunching the facts in comparison to my own recollections. "There was lipstick on his collar; that's how I found out."
"There came a point in time where Josh was so enthralled by the payout that he lost himself to it. One night, he was drunk at the Saloon, and I found out about your grandpa's farm—that he was hiding the deed to preserve his secret life. I saw that he was willing to lie, sneak around, and deceive anyone if it meant a few extra dollars got thrown his way."
"I hugged him on his way out the next day," she continued. "I hugged him, and I let a little bit of my lipstick rub off on his collar. I wanted you to see it; I wanted you to leave."
No matter how many times I tried to think of something to say, the words wouldn't form.
"I'm sorry that I let you believe he was unloyal to you," she said between sniffles. "He was unloyal in a million ways, but physically was not one of them. I felt that the million ways that he wronged you was worse than sleeping with somebody else."
She was right. He may not have cheated on me then, but maybe he would've. Is anything that he has ever said true?
I wrapped Emily into another hug, this time squeezing her as hard as possible. "I'm sorry," I whispered, burying my head into her shoulder. "I'm sorry that it got this far."
"You and me both," she said back, her thumb rubbing circles on my back. "I should've come to you sooner."
"It was a dangerous game he was playing," I sighed. "One wrong move, and all of our heads would have been on the chopping block. You did what you could."
She released herself from my grasp, and pulled an envelope out of her pocket. "This is for you."
"Why?"
"As it turns out, I'm your secret Santa, too."
"Of course you are," I chuckled, sliding my finger beneath the seal and pulling the tab open. Inside was a singular piece of paper, with the message, "See You Soon!" typed boldly at the top.
"You've been through a lot, Sadie, and I know the winters are slow for farmers," she said. "So I figured you needed a little vacation. You and the others can go for New Years; it's a little cabin up north of the mountains. It's beautiful, really, and it could be a nice getaway."
I could feel my jaw drop as she explained, the cost of this gift consuming my mind. "Emily, you shouldn't have."
"Hopefully this can be the start of our new, honest friendship," she smiled, giving me a pat on the shoulder. "You deserve a break."
"Come with us," I blurted out, shock plastering itself on her features.
"What?"
"Come with us to the cabin. We can bring whoever can make the time. We all deserve a break."
She met the proposal with silence, her expression a dead giveaway that she was deep in thought.
"Okay."