⋆ ★ ALREADY GONE ━━━CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
( HOLY SHIT, IT'S HUGE ) , lay your hands on me.
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THE TWO FRIENDS WERE IN THE WOODS. They were going amongst the trees and the grass early one morning, Mark walking beside Derek as he talked about the new Cardio attending. "The woman loves me." The plastic surgeon boasted, his ego increasing by the second. "Loves. Me."
"Erica Hahn?" Derek curled an eyebrow in surprise. He had heard many things about the woman- and her being in love with Mark, that was not one of them.
"I'm telling you, we went out last night, had a couple of drinks."
Again, Derek was surprised. "You and Erica?"
"Just me and Hahn..." He then let out a breath before adding, "And Callie." with a hint of embarrassment and shame.
"Oh, alright, so it wasn't a date." The neurosurgeon laughed, clapping his hands slightly together.
Mark just shook his head in protest. "Are you going to tell me where we're going?" He dodged his friend's accusation.
"Why does it always have to be about the destination? Why can't it be about the journey?"
"Because I'm wearing $300 shoes that your girlfriend probably wouldn't approve of." Just as Mark said that he stepped in a puddle of mud and cringed. "Your girlfriend hates that I wear such expensive clothes."
"Speaking of," Derek cleared his throat. "She can't know about this- well, until I tell her, that is."
"Know about what? The fact that I wore such expensive shoes that are now ruined."
"No," The brunette then stopped in the middle of a grassy field that overlooked Seattle. "What do you think?"
"About what?"
"About the view?" Derek said as if it were completely obvious to his friend who was mainly concerned about his woman problems.
"Well, what am I looking at?" The other questioned in return, squinting his eyes as the sun beamed down on the both of them.
"Hopefully the view from mine and Jamie's new house."
Mark's eyes widened. "No way,"
Derek laughed. "Yes, way. She's been staying at the trailer with me for a bit, so I figured, why not build a house? Give Jamie Marie the life that she deserves. I've already got the blueprints for it-"
"-wait. What do you mean, hopefully. Derek, you didn't ask her before you bought this huge piece of land?"
"Well, no, but even if she says no, she's got time to think about it. I'll still build it." The brunette explained. "And even if she does say no, I'll sell it. Whatever she wants, it's all up to her."
"Dude," Mark scoffed with a humorous laugh. "You're whipped."
"Am not,"
"Whatever you say, Mr. I Just Bought This Huge Piece of Land for My Girlfriend."
It was Derek's turn to scoff this time. "Says the guy who wears $300 shoes to impress a woman who shows no remote interest in return."
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While Derek was out with Mark doing God only knows what, Jamie was at home, preparing breakfast for herself which she didn't get to do a lot. Well- she was at the trailer, which was more or less like her house now. She hadn't stepped foot inside her own home ever since she packed a bag and left. It's not that she didn't want to go back, it just wasn't a necessary appealing idea for her. She loved living with Derek- and just Derek. It made her think of their future together.
She thought about what life would be like after they were married, maybe they'd have a couple of kids, get their own house- away from all the crazy's that currently lived in her house- and Jamie would maybe open her own practice.
The thought of not knowing what the future held for them scared her a little bit, but it excited her at the same time. Anything could happen to her, but she would get through it as long as she was with Derek.
Sure, it sounded cliche as hell, but it was true.
And she wanted all of this in the future. Not yet because things were still a little hectic right now with all the adjustment periods and whatnot going on, Jamie was ready for it, just not yet.
And she had never even thought about marriage before. It wasn't anything she had needed to think about before because she wasn't necessarily in or looking for any relationship at the time. It just so happened that Derek unexpectedly walked into her life and ruined things- for the better that is. (Well, sort of if you don't count all of the heartbreak and back and forth stuff between him and Addison, then yeah, sort of for the better.)
The trailer door opening snapped Jamie out of her thoughts, since it was rather loud, it was hard not to hear it. She had just cracked open an egg and poured it into the glass bowl beside her on the counter. Jamie then turned her head to see Derek slipping off his shoes and coat by the door. "Hey, I'm making an omelet, you want one?" She asked him.
"Sure," He kissed her cheek before settling into the seat of the table booth across from her. "So, how do you like things here?" It was a rather out of the blue, and random question to start the conversation, but Jamie didn't think twice about it.
"What do you mean?" She smiled obliviously.
"Here, at the trailer." He specified his word choices before asking again, "Do you like it just being the two of us?"
"That's the understatement of the year." She mused, flipping the omelet on the griddle. "But in all honesty, sometimes I do miss my old room and although it's quiet out here, it's almost... too quiet. You know? Sometimes I swear I can hear the bugs' little insect noises."
Derek faltered at that; he was getting some mixed signals. Did she like it, or not? "Yeah, but you don't have the crazy interns running around, you get the beautiful view of Seattle..."
"The view is really great- and don't get me wrong I love it just being the two of us. I do, so please, don't think I don't..." She trailed off lightly.
"... but?"
"I just- I sort of miss the chaos. I've gotten so used to the said chaos." She then sighed and turned off the oven before getting two plates for the food and setting them down on the table. "And I've barely seen my sister this week and I feel sort of lonely. Me and Mer have been there for each other since day one and I feel like... that's fading away. And it can't be any easier now that she actually hates Lexie, and I don't understand why. I need to know why, and I don't. And what doesn't make it better is Alex and Lexie sleeping together, I mean, Meredith thinks Lexie's stealing her friends." Jamie ranted, her anxiety and feelings showing themselves rather quickly.
Derek looked at his girlfriend and saw her anxiously tugging at the rings on her fingers. He took her hand in his and tried to calm her down, intertwining their fingers.
"I'm sorry, I'm getting caught up in my head." She forced a laugh before sighing and looking at Derek in the eyes. "I do love living with you and I love you, Derek. So, if this sounds like I'm saying I don't want to continue living with you, that's not what I'm saying at all-"
"-hey, it's okay." He stopped her quickly, a smile of his own making its way onto his face, not matter how disappointed he was inside. "It's okay, I didn't think that at all. I get it, it's an adjustment." So, maybe asking her right now wasn't the best idea.
"Yeah, sorry, I just, um... I gotta get ready for work." Jamie then quickly got up from the table and shut herself into the bathroom that was right behind her, leaving Derek by himself in some uncomfortable silence.
The male sighed. "Great way to start the morning." Suddenly Jamie's phone rang, and he looked at it shyly before picking it up. "Jamie Grey's phone, can I take a message?"
"Um, is Jamie there?" Lexie's voice came through the phone. "Um, because, funny story, I'm hiding in the bathroom right now because Meredith cooked for me... and, it's not- it's not good. At all."
"Okay... give me a second, Lexie." The male then stood up and knocked on the door to the bathroom. "Jamie Marie, it's your sister."
The door opened in a flash, and she grabbed her phone and shut it once more, hoping to somewhat avoid the person on the other side of the door. "Hey, Mer." She greeted the person she thought she was going to be talking to.
"No, actually, it's Lexie. I hope you don't mind me calling but um, I just- Meredith made me breakfast and it's not good and I'm hiding in the bathroom right now and..." Suddenly she stopped and felt rather embarrassed. "I don't know why I'm calling you, I'm sorry-"
"-hey, Lexie, don't worry, you're not the only one hiding in the bathroom right now, so it's okay." Jamie reassured her with a slight grumble in her voice, hating herself for acting like a child and hiding from Derek. "Besides, Mer's not the best cook in town so, when you get to the hospital, I can buy you breakfast. So, just tell Meredith that breakfast was delicious, but you've got to meet me at the hospital for a case I want you on. It'll be the Grey sister's apology." She then mused into the phone, receiving a laugh from the other end.
"Thank you, Jamie."
"Anytime, now hurry, you don't have a lot of time. I'll meet you at the hospital." She ended the call between her and her half-sister before finishing up in the bathroom and heading towards the door of the trailer. "Hey, Derek, I gotta go but I'll meet you later." She called out to the bedroom.
"Alright, I love you!" He called back.
"Yeah, love you too." She weakly answered before the door slammed shut and she rushed out to the car. "Oh god, he's totally going to ask me to move in with him." She groaned before dropping her head on the steering wheel while it let out an ear-piercing beep. "I am not good at this thing called commitment."
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Jamie noticed two things when Lexie walked up to her at the hospital. One, that she was itchy and red and two, was George's mother in the background talking to Callie about something. And the blonde presumed that Mrs. O'Malley did not know a single thing about everything that went down between the married couple. Calliope Torres was in for a ride.
"Oh my god- Lexie, what the hell happened between the drive from Mer's house to here?"
"Remember that breakfast I told you about? Meredith made me eggs... I'm sort of allergic to eggs."
Jamie sighed a little bit irritated. "Of course, you are." She then took Lexie by the arm and dragged her to a nearby closet where she got some epinephrine and got ready to inject the needle into her sister's arm. "Next time Mer makes you breakfast, and makes you eggs, just say no, okay?"
"I just... she's finally starting to, I dunno, warm up to me? I didn't want to reject it and have her kick me out of the house. I have boundary issues." The brunette whined as she itched her upper body. "I realize you two didn't grow up with a nice, loving dad you think I did but you know, I've been trying to keep my distance from you because she told me that you two don't want to-"
"-what?" Jamie's brain was trying to process the words that came out of the other's mouth. "Wait, I'm sorry, what exactly did Meredith tell you?"
"So, I'm sure you are a very nice girl, Lexie. But I hope you understand, you're not a girl me or Jamie ever wanted to have to know."
That's what Meredith had said the day the meth cookers had come in and Jamie was knocked out cold. Meredith and Lexie's previous encounter before that wasn't any better. Lexie just figured since Meredith knew Jamie best, it was true. But right now, it seems otherwise.
"She said you two didn't want to get to know me because of our dad."
"Really?..." Jamie said with no tone whatsoever in her voice. "Interesting."
Lexie had a feeling she had just ruined her's and Meredith's forming relationship just because she couldn't keep her fucking mouth shut and she was right back at square one. The pit rising in her stomach confirmed her actions as soon as Jamie put a scowl on her face.
Before the two women could say anything, George came up to them and practically screamed like a little girl when he saw Lexie. "Oh my god, what happened to you?" His eyes widened in practically pure terror.
"My stupid dumbass of a sister, that's what." Jamie mumbled under her breath, putting on some gloves and cleaning her sister's arm for the shot of epinephrine.
"I have boundary issues." Lexie answered, hoping the shot wouldn't hurt as much as she felt it would. "So, when Meredith made me eggs this morning, I couldn't not eat them. I had to pretend I wasn't allergic to eggs. And now I have a rash covering my entire body. My throat is closing up-"
"Calm down, Lexie," Jamie told her before injecting the medicine. "You're going to be fine."
She quickly sighed before flinching, "And now my arm hurts." The brunette complained.
"You're a doctor, get a grip."
Lexie slightly winced at her sister's somewhat harsh tone but then turned to George. "Um, thank you for letting me crash on your couch last night."
"You didn't tell your mom that we broke up?" Callie suddenly approached the group of three, a pile of hand-made, knitted clothes in her hand, a scowl on her face.
Jamie sighed. "There it is," She knew something had to have gone down in the lobby.
"What?" George asked, rather confused.
"Your mom is making us baby clothes because she thinks we're still trying to get pregnant because she thinks we're still married because she thinks you're still the kind of person who would never cheat on his wife. Hand-stitched, unisex baby clothes. They're yellow and green and go up to a toddler size." The angry orthopedic resident said rather angrily, shoving them in George's hands. "And she's waiting for you in the lobby."
As Callie walked off, Jamie followed right behind, "Calliope," She called for her friend. "You alright?"
"No, I'm not alright. My husband cheated on me with Izzie and didn't tell his mom, who is the one of the sweetest people on the planet but makes the ugliest baby clothes ever." She ranted; her angriness still present but her sadness coming out as well. "I mean, what has my life become?"
Amen, Jamie wanted to say but she couldn't. Her friend was obviously hurting right now, and she didn't need someone to relate to, she needed to feel understood... wow, Jamie felt like she was turning into her therapist. (Whom she reluctantly made an appointment with tomorrow for the first time since she quit.)
"Listen," Jamie stopped her in the middle of the hallway. "You are Calliope Iphegenia Torres for fucks sake. George and Izzie are nothing but a couple of losers who are living in my house because of my sister. If it weren't for Mer," (her sister who thinks she can just make decisions and thoughts for her) they'd be out on their asses right about now. Look, he cheated on you with a downgrade, it's as simple as that and you two are divorced now. You don't have to think twice about them. And if George doesn't tell his mother, and you don't feel comfortable breaking this woman's heart, I'll do it. She's a complete stranger to me so I won't really care if I tell her something hurtful."
"You're so mean, Grey." Callie let out a little laugh before shaking her head. "But seriously, as soon as you see Mrs. O'Malley, the poor wife who lost her husband not too long ago, it doesn't matter if you're strangers."
"I'm Jamie Marie Grey, no one scares me."
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Peeking her head around the corner and seeing Mrs. O'Malley continue to knit sweaters for Callie and George's spawn, her eyes widened and she turned back to face her friend. "Yeah, good luck with that," Before she checked her pager, which rang 911 in the ER. "Gotta blast."
"Wha-" Callie scoffed in disbelief as he friend hurried off out of sight.
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"Oh my god," Jamie gasped once she saw Tuck get wheeled out of the ambulance, Tucker on the phone, apparently trying to reach Miranda, a worried look on his face as his son wouldn't stop crying. "Uh, what the hell happened, Tucker?" Jamie questioned, as she snapped on some gloves.
"Th-there was an accident." Was all he said before he tried calling his wife again.
"Uh, let's get him to trauma one, page Dr. Shepherd and the Chief please. Let's also get Dr. Williams and Dr. Torres down here now!"
Pushing the young child into the small examination room, all of the doctors who were paged 911 down to the ER showed up as fast as they could. "All four limbs are moving." Adam noted.
"Pupils are responsive and dilating." Derek added on. "There's no neurological damage."
"Let's get him on a monitor." The Chief looked at one of the nurses. "And where's the x-ray for the trauma series?"
"Order a left forearm with the x-rays." Callie called out. "There's bruising and swelling here."
Bailey, who was now in the room, held her sons' hand. "Mama's right here, little man. I'm right here."
The Chief then turned back to Tucker and asked, "He was under a bookshelf?"
"The whole thing must have fallen on top of him. And all those medical books- he probably tried to climb up and pulled it over." The male explained. "I heard him screaming and then I found him."
Jamie saw Bailey's look of discomfort (Jamie having known about her friend's marriage problems ever since Bailey was preoccupied with the Nazi surgery) and decided to speak up. "Tucker, I'm trying to listen for a heartbeat so please, do us all a favor and be quiet." She growled.
"Jamie Marie," Derek warned, wondering where the sudden change in demeanor came from.
"Everyone needs to shut the hell up," She added on. "Bailey, I love you, but you need to leave so we can work on you baby. I've got him."
"This is why we put the baby gate in the living room." The resident told her husband.
"The gate was open," He responded.
"You left the gate open?"
"No, I didn't.
"What are you trying to say, I left the gate open?"
"Accidents happen," The Chief tried to intervene, sensing the unneeded tension between the couple.
Bailey shook her head. "Not if you take the time to bolt the bookshelves to the wall."
"I can't baby-proof every inch of that apartment and watch him at the same time!"
"Well, you weren't watching him, otherwise he wouldn't be here right now."
Adam sighed, "He's got some decreased breath sounds on the left side, and his abdomen is rigid." He told Derek who copied the notes down on the baby's chart.
"What does all this mean?" Tucker asked.
"It means there may be some internal injuries."
"What kind of injuries?" He continued to ask.
"Tucker, we don't have time for questions." Jamie shook his head. "I need to give him a full trauma workup. Someone clear a CT and get me an ultrasound machine, please and thank you, but do it quickly! We don't have all day."
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Sitting in the room with Cristina and Izzie, Jamie watched Bailey stay in the room with Tuck while he was getting his CT done. Meredith came in with a sigh and sat on the next empty chair. "Can you imagine how horrible this is for her?"
Cristina shook her head and leaned herself off the table. "This is why people should not have kids." She complained, no remorse present in her voice.
"What is the matter with you? That's Bailey's baby in there." Izzie scoffed in disbelief.
"No, see, no. It's a trauma case. If we are going to be at all effective in saving that kid's life, it can't be Bailey's baby. He's a blunt trauma case."
"Shut the hell up!" Jamie yelled, drawing the attention of everyone (even Bailey who was on the other side of the glass) and making them go quiet. "Shut the hell up if you know what's good for you and your career." She threatened.
"What's your problem?" Meredith asked her sister.
"You know, I usually don't have a problem with people except for when they talk shit about people behind their backs," Jamie referred to Cristina, "or when they sleep with married men and hurt the wife in the process," She then referred to Izzie, "or when people decide to make decisions for you, pushing away your step-sister who did absolutely nothing to deserve the hate she gets." Jamie lastly referred to Meredith.
"What?" The youngest Grey sister was confused. "James-"
"-don't." Jamie stopped her sister before she could let out a lame excuse. "Everyone just shut the hell up."
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Turns out Tuck's stomach is in his chest- a visceral herniation- a ruptured diaphragm to which led to something even worse because whatever happened continued to make it fatal for the small child.
Jamie was the main resident on the case, beside Bailey, as well as Hahn and the Chief and some first-year residents such as Mila, Cristina and Meredith were allowed to observe and help if absolutely needed (and give Bailey an update every once in a while,) as well as Lexie who was supposedly on Jamie's service today.
Once they repaired the hole in Tuck's diaphragm, the group of doctors then moved on to inspect the mediastinum, part of the thoracic cavity.
Suddenly Bailey burst through the OR door, quickly tying a mask around her face. "Dr. Bailey? Are you kidding?" She asked in disbelief.
"I need to be with my son." She excused herself.
"Miranda-" Webber tried to console her.
"-I have no intention of getting in the way. I just- i can't stand out there. I can't. I need to be with my son."
"And what we need, Dr. Bailey, is to not have our patient's mother watching us perform his surgery. Dr. Grey, please escort Dr. Bailey back outside." Hahn retorted sternly.
"No," Bailey tried to protest. "I just want to hold his hand."
"I can hold his hand." Cristina stepped in. "Dr. Grey can hold the retractor and I can hold his hand, if that's okay with you, Dr. Bailey."
Bailey took a shaky breath but nodded, nonetheless. "Okay,"
"Alright, everyone needs to take a deep breath and calm down." Jamie began to speak. "Dr. Hahn is right, so I will escort her out and the other Dr. Grey will take my place." Meredith and her quickly exchanged spots before Jamie whispered something into Bailey's ear that finally made her leave and wait for her friend outside of the scrub room. "Dr. Hahn, you're a damn good surgeon but if you ever talk to her like that again while she is in a great deal of pain, I will not hesitate to put you back in the place that you belong in. And it's funny, you remind me of Burke, and I had no trouble putting him into his place."
As soon as Jamie finished scrubbing out and she exited the scrub room, Bailey let out the tears that had been threatening to fall all day while embracing her friend in a tight hug, thankful for everything she had today for her and her family.
"He's going to be okay, Miranda." Jamie tried to soothe the woman in her arms. "He's a fighter, just like his mom... and his aunt." She then tried to muse but it didn't work. Bailey was still upset as ever.
"I can't remember if I closed the gate." She sobbed. "I can't remember if I closed the gate."
"Miranda, this isn't helping-"
"-I can't remember!" She shouted, breaking free from her friend. "I can't remember if I closed that gate. That's my baby in there, that's my baby and I can't remember."
"Things like this just happen-"
"- no! They don't just happen. Things don't just happen. People make decisions. People prioritize. Okay, the world just doesn't happen! Okay, it's not on God. it's on me or it's on Tucker! It's on me!"
"Stop it! Stop it! Stop!" Jamie pulled her friend closer once more to try and stop her friend from freaking out more than she already was. "Shhh, just... stop it. You're a good mother, Miranda. Tucker is a good father. You love your baby and people make mistakes. You did not do this to your son. And neither did your husband."
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"Hey, James." Meredith tried to stop her sister from walking down the hallway but the eldest didn't stop. She merely ignored her. "Jamie, what the hell?"
"Did you or did you not tell Lexie that we didn't want her in our life?" Jamie snapped, turning her body around and crossing her arms across her chest.
Meredith was slightly taken back. "What do you mean-"
"-you know exactly what I mean, Meredith Grey. Why in the hell would you make that decision for me? And can you please tell me why in the hell you hate that poor girl so much. She did absolutely fucking nothing to you."
"Our father abandoned us for her. I'm surprised you don't hate her more than I do?"
"Does Lexie really look like Thatcher? Because if I'm being completely honest here, she's a sweet angel while he's a pathetic asshole with no care in the world for us. But ever since Lexie came here, she has done nothing but try to be nice to us, unlike Thatcher, who by the way assaulted me and got away with it." Jamie snarked back in response. "Did you even know she was allergic to eggs? She came to work with the most severe rash because she didn't want to hurt your feelings, Meredith. That's how much she wanted you to like her."
"We don't have the same dad, Jamie. Time after time Lexie keeps insisting that we have the same dad, but we don't."
"That has nothing to do with this, Meredith." They weren't calling each other by their nicknames for each other. (Mer and James) This was a serious fight between the two. "It doesn't matter because Thatcher isn't important in this. Sure, Lexie grew up with a dad and we didn't. That isn't her fault. So, you need to grow the hell up Meredith because yes, our childhood was shitty, but this isn't our childhood anymore. More bad things are just going to keep happening if you dwell on the fucking past."
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Jamie got home later than Derek, she went to the bar to check in on Callie (who was still a little upset because as it turns out, Mrs. O'Malley found out about the situation) and to check in on Kathryn and Adam (who were arguing like they were already an old married couple) and on Lorelei (who was fine like always because unlike the rest, she could deal with her problems).
She also updated them on Tuck who still wasn't breathing on his own.
Walking into the trailer and taking her shoes and coat off she called out for Derek, her back turned towards the table where he was currently sitting and looking at blueprints, in an attempt to show Jamie and not have her freak out.
"I'm home!" When she finally turned around, she jumped a bit. "Oh, shit, sorry. I didn't see you... what's this?" She looked at the table, a confused expression on her face.
"I don't want to freak you out." Was his sentence starter. "But I made this a while ago and I thought maybe- maybe you'd might be interested in it?"
Jamie slid into the booth and looked at the blueprints. "It's fucking huge, that's for sure. Whose is this?"
"Hopefully ours."
"Ours?" She cocked an eyebrow.
"Don't freak out because this isn't final and it's just an idea. I thought maybe I'd bring this up and see what you're willing to do. I can sell the land or just keep it for later or something, but I thought maybe this could be one of the next steps for us? I know this morning you said you missed your sister and the chaos and everything, but I just can't help but think about our future."
"I don't know what to say, Derek." She looked up at him. "I mean, I do miss the chaos but... how can I say no to this?" Jamie then smiled. "You wanna build me a house?"
"Of course, I do. I wanna build you a house and build a life together."
Jamie kissed him and laughed a bit. "Totally cliche but so romantic."
"Thank you," He smiled in return. "How's Tuck?"
Her smile deflated. "He's still intubated, and they won't know anything for a few hours. I told Mila to page me if anything goes sideways so technically, I'm on call tonight. And I just can't imagine how Bailey's feeling... I never want to imagine that." (dun dun duuun)
"You need some rest, Jamie Marie." Derek kissed her forehead. "Tuck's going to be fine and Bailey's going to be fine. They are both incredibly strong."
"You know, when they brought in a woman that can psychically heal people with her mind to try and fix him. I sort of think she's batshit crazy but if it works... it'll be a goddamn miracle."
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— AUTHOR'S NOTE:
no rose bc honestly, i did not like her at all.
but this episode had a lot of jamie and bailey and i live for it. (plus her putting tucker in his place per usual is just a bonus)
meredith and jamie drama?? im a messy bitch who lives for drama 🤭
i want someone to build me a house fr.