We spent the night in each other's arms, but by the time I woke the space next to me was cold. I'd found Jake in front of his computer, while my mug of hot chocolate was steaming next to him-even with everything going on he hadn't forgot-I'd been unable to tear him away from the computer for food. Instead, I'd opted to give him space and simply placed his food on the desk with him.
The name tumbles through my mind. Silas. The name of the person behind the text messages I keep getting. Frustration seeps from Jake as the clicks on the keyboard grow louder, faster. Somehow this Silas keeps thwarting Jake's defenses, which wouldn't be so bad if all traces of him seem to be invisible.
The sound of a chair scraping across a wooden floor had me looking up from the book I'd been reading. Well, pretending to read because I couldn't even remember the main characters name. Instead millions of questions were racing through my head.
The edge of the bed dips as Jake sits down giving me a small smile. I can't help but note the worry etched in his face, the tiredness in his eyes. Sometimes I almost forget all the things he has been through. The smoke-filled mines, watching every single time I was threatened...while Jake always seemed so steady-there are things that even get to him.
"Will you tell me?" I questioned as I laid the book on the nightstand.
"The first time I hacked into something..."He paused, his body stiffening as he remembered. "It was my mother's medical chart. You see- she'd had a lot of doctors' appointments, that's what she called them at least. My mother never lied to me-not until then at least. I'd always been good with computers. I contacted someone who talked me through how to do it."
"Silas?"
"Yes." His eyes were glued to the wall behind me, his usually expressive eyes vacant. "It was cancer, stage 4 with a big whopping inoperable tumor in her lungs. She wasn't even a smoker. Six months later-she was gone."
I squeezed his hand, "Oh, Jake."
"It wasn't until after her death I went back to Silas, and started hacking every day. We got into anything and everything we could. I stopped asking questions early on, Silas wasn't one for answers, and I didn't care. At that point I didn't care about anything. I'd stopped seeing my friends. I just sat in front of that computer and did everything Silas asked me to. That is until I'd hacked into some sort of witness protection database that was tied to some company doing human experiments. It probably wouldn't have bothered me if I hadn't found out he was selling their locations to the highest bidder. That these people were being murdered-and it was my fault."
"Jake, it's not your fault. You didn't know."
"Not knowing, and not caring to know are two different things. It doesn't excuse what I did. At least my mother died still proud of me."
"Stop." I pulled Jake's eyes towards me. "Listen to me. Your mom is proud of the man you've become. You are kind, you care even though you pretend you don't, and you saved your sister."
"Charlee, I'm not-"
"You are."
He was, and I would do everything I could to make him see what I see. The strong, steady hand I'd needed to keep me moving forward. The calm, analytical shoulder I'd needed when I'd gotten too involved with Jessy and the others. The man who gave me butterflies by simply saying my name. Whose arms made me feel safe for the first time in years.
Tomorrow we would worry about Silas, about the FBI and anything else that tried to stand against us. Tomorrow we'd start our fight side by side. Tonight though, Jake needed the same comfort he'd offered me after learning about my brother.
"Hey Lily." I answered my phone stepping out onto the balcony on our fifth-floor room in a swanky hotel. After several seedy motels I'd insisted on an upgrade. A girl's hair could only take so much bad water pressure.
"Just checking in. How are you? How's Jake?" Lily asked her voice coated with worry. Jake and I had been mostly unavailable the past few days. We'd only just agreed that we would only keep our phones on for short bursts of time, in hopes that wouldn't allow Silas time to track our phones. I'd had a slew of messages from her I hadn't had time to respond to.
"We're okay."
"What's going on then? I haven't heard from either of you in days." Lily huffed. She was worried, and I knew exactly how she was feeling. Guilt ate at me. I'd never once thought to let her know what was going on.
"We had a scare. Our phones have been off-I'm so sorry I didn't tell you." What I couldn't say that I was both sorry and not sorry at the same time. My focus had been on keeping Jake safe, and I wouldn't regret that. Maybe it was selfish of me.
I gave her a quick run down of the last few days, assuring that all was well and we'd be in contact whenever we could. By the time we got off the phone I only had a few more seconds of phone usage so I opened a group chat between my friends Nova and Addy.
No doubt those two would be arguing over the apartment for the next couple hours, and for the very first time I'm glad I have a self-imposed time limit on the phone. When I'd first introduced Addy and Nova they couldn't stand each other. Which made sense, they were polar opposites eventually they'd gotten over it. That didn't stop them from still bickering now and then, and I'd just caused a major upset. Eventually, once they stopped harping on each other, they'd turn on me. I really needed a better cover story or they'd end up reporting me as kidnapped and that's the last thing Jake and I needed.
I was starting to really understand why Jake had cut contact with everyone when he'd gone on the run. It was hard, trying to manage their questions without compromising yourself. I had no idea what to do about it, but I couldn't give up my friendships either. I'd known Addy my entire life. She was a sister to me. Whenever my dad was busy with work I'd stay at her house. So often that I had my own room at her house, not that I ever used it.
What the hell was I going to do?
The balcony door clicked closed behind me. Jake looked up from his laptop and sent me a warm smile. I set my now powered off phone on the counter before wrapping my arms around his shoulder. He leaned into me with a soft sigh.
"You miss them a lot, don't you?"
"Of course." I place a quick kiss on his cheek. "They're my friends, but I'll see them when I see them."
"I'm sorry Charlee."
"You don't have to be. I knew what I was getting myself into. Good thing you're so handsome, huh?"
Jake chuckled. "Guess so."
I stood in the bathroom, staring at the mirror. My hair was down, waving down my shoulders that were covered with a light see-through cardigan over top of a black tank top and a pair of jeans. With a quick swipe I applied the finishing touch, a light pink lip gloss.
It had been a while since I'd gone to such lengths to look nice. Hiding out in motel rooms all day left little reason to apply makeup. Today was different. Jake was taking me to a city fair, for our first real date. I snapped a picture to send to Jessy. It was an outfit I'd picked up shopping with her and I knew she'd be excited to see it.
The fair was large, and packed. Live music was playing off in the distance, with masses of people standing in groups all around the entrance. Several booths were directly across from the entrance selling handmade jewelry, mugs and so much more.
I pulled Jake over to the handmade crystal jewelry and picked up a necklace. It was nearly identical to the broken one my father gave me all those years ago. I set it down gently, straightening it on the velvet lined shelf. I circled the table as I examined more jewelry until I bumped into someone.
"Oh, excuse me."
"That's alright. Umm..." Her eyes shifted behind me. I followed her gaze to Jake who was leaning against a pole near the booth. His head was slightly down, his hair obscuring his eyes which I knew were focused on me. "Is that your boyfriend?"
"Yes."
"Oh." The disappointment in her voice was almost comical. "Sorry."
She scurried over to a small group of girls that were all dressed identically. Short jean shorts, tank tops and flip flops complete with the on trend messy ponytail. If I had to guess they were probably two or three years younger than me. An audible groan came from the gaggle of girls and I stifled a laugh before joining Jake.
I giggled, shaking my head as he pushed off the pool with a bewildered look on his face. "What?"
"It's just." I laughed again. "That group of girls is staring at you."
His eyes flit between me and the girls, several of whom bat their eyelashes at him. No shame. "I think you are mistaken." He grabbed my hand pulling me into his chest, one hand snaking behind my neck. "Just in case you're not." His lips, soft and inviting, pressed into mine gently then harder.
When he finally pulled away I swayed slightly, my legs felt as if they were made of jello and I blinked as I realized we were in the middle of a fair with hundreds of people and he had just kissed me like that.
I playfully pushed him away, flushed cheeks accompanying a wide grin. His fingers entertwined with me and I led him away from the girls to the fair games.
"You know these games are rigged." Jake stated earning himself an annoyed look from the game attendant as I slapped down ten bucks. They probably were, but I didn't care.
"Bet you I can beat you. Winner picks the rides for the entire night." I held out one of the balls the attendant had laid in front of me with a challenging smirk. True to himself, he couldn't resist a challenge.
The balls were oversized and should have easily knocked down the stack of bottles, and I only managed to knock down two. I cursed under my breath. Jake had managed to knock all of the bottles off the table, smirking back at me as the attendant handed him a small teddy bear that was wearing a witch's hat. Jake held the bear out to me and I snatched it. Butterflies loomed in my stomach.
"I shall call him Sir Theodore Bearington." I announced hugging the bear against my chest. Jake chuckled wrapping an arm around my shoulders.
God, it felt so damn good to do something normal. Like being on the run didn't have to be all dingy motel rooms, and TV shows. That we could still go out and have fun. Hope. I felt truly hopeful for the first time in days...maybe even weeks.
"So, I get to pick the ride, right?" Jake asked after we stepped away from the last game. A game of ring toss that I'd lost. Twice.
"Mhmm." I nodded. The rides were at the back of the park near a set of stages that were currently empty. The sun had started to go down and the families with younger kids were starting to leave.
Jake wrapped his arms around me and I leaned back into him as we waited in line for the Ferris Wheel. We didn't speak, instead letting the sounds of laughter and screams bounce around us. Tension rolled off me as the cool breeze caressed my cheeks.
It felt so damn good to be out here, in public with him. It was the first time we'd ever felt like a normal couple. I didn't need normal, not really, but I would forever be grateful for these stolen peaceful moments.
When it was our turn, which wasn't long- turns out Ferris wheels aren't that popular, Jake helped me into the gondola before settling next to me. I snuggled under Jake's arms and clutched the bear on my lap. The metal groaned as the wheels started to turn, raising us high above the tree line.
"Charlee." Jake tucked an unruly strand of my hair behind my ear as the wheel stops as we reach the top. "I love you." My eyes fluttered shut as his head dips towards mine.
Then there is nothing except his soft lips on mine. Gentle, but sparking some primal need inside me. I yanked him closer deepening the kiss, ignoring the swinging gondola under us even as it starts to move, dipping us back down towards the earth.
"And that..." Jake's breathe is ragged, hot on my cheeks. "Should have been our first kiss."