Dedicated to @Itisgettinghotinhere ❤️
Kara
He took my breath away.
He always did. So, I took another, hoping it would release the overwhelming emotions trapped in my throat. The happy memories I had with him that had now turned into a kind of torture, because they serve as a reminder of how much of myself I had given him. And that he'd thrown away.
It was pride on my part, no doubt. And if that was all that was left, I'd take it. Because everything else he had already taken.
And I was bitter.
Veronica and I took our seats at the bleachers. The wood bench felt hard and unforgiving on my ass, the lights too bright, the piercing sound of the whistle as the coach called for timeout stabbed my ears. And the scent of it all—sweat, wax they used on the floor, fried foods from the spectators made me feel a little lightheaded. Then I looked up.
Cameron was standing with the other exhausted players. He was bent forward, palms on knees, head down, breathing hard. He raised his head. His black hair was damp from sweat and drops of it dripped from his sharp jaw down to his neck. With an impatient move, he wiped his forehead with his arm.
He'd always played like it was his last day on Earth. I used to think it was hot. The coach was talking to them, but Cameron didn't appear to be listening.
When he unfolded his body and stood straight, he towered over most of the players. His shoulders were wide and intimidating, his athletic form long and lean and muscular in his red basketball jersey. Then he pulled the collar of his wet jersey up and off.
I looked away.
And noticed Lockhart making his way toward us with a big smile on his mouth. I noticed that his gorgeous green eyes never wavered from Veronica's. And when I turned to look at her, she was also smiling.
The only time I'd seen her smile like that was when she got her paycheque.
"Hey, Red. You're here," Caleb said, sitting beside her and playfully pulling a lock of her hair. He stared at her for a moment, as though she was Christmas morning, before glancing at me.
It was obvious they were intensely drawn to each other. I don't think Veronica realized how much.
Caleb's eyes darted back to the court where Cameron was, then he looked at me meaningfully. I gave a subtle shake of my head, silently telling him that I didn't want to talk about it. He understood.
"Hey, Kar. Nice to see you again."
It had always been easy with Caleb. I felt a little sorry that I had cut him off since my breakup with his best friend. We chatted a little, and I tried to concentrate on the conversation, but it felt like I was trying to solve a puzzle in the middle of a burning building. Later, when I replayed everything in my mind, I would barely remember what I said.
My eyes involuntarily went to the court. Some of the players were sitting on the benches, but instead of sitting with them, Cameron was leaning against the railing, drinking from a water bottle.
Before I would've been there beside him, handing him a towel or a water bottle, cheering for him. He'd give me a secret smile, whispering in my ear how eager he was to get me home.
It made me miserable thinking about it. Because every memory of us was now tainted with the heartbreak he'd given me.
He raked his fingers in his hair, and suddenly the band holding it together came off, and his hair became unbound. It was so dark it seemed to absorb all the light around it. I knew its texture, how silky and soft it felt on my fingers. It fell on his shoulders now, framing his sinfully beautiful face and softening the sharpness of his eyes.
He crouched down to pick up something on the floor. My heart sped up as I tried to figure out what it was when a redhead came up behind him. Without warning, she yelled surprise! in the fakest sweet voice I'd ever heard in my entire life, placed her hands on his shoulders and giggled.
Shit. Is he with her now? Shit, shit, shit.
With unsteady legs, I rose. "I need to fucking breathe. Be right back."
I wanted to stay for Veronica, I really did, but the gym felt small and suffocating, and I just needed some fucking air. I wanted to reassure her that I was fine, wanted her to stay and have a good night with Caleb, and not follow me.
It was my fault that I had overestimated myself again when it came to Cameron Jeremiah Saint fucking Laurent. I mumbled something to her that I hoped would make her stay and escaped outside.
What the hell did I think was going to happen showing up here tonight? That worlds would collide and stars align and shit? I stopped believing that a long time ago. Even before he came into my life.
Breathing hard and feeling lightheaded, I closed my eyes and leaned against the side of the building. It was dark outside. They had turned off the tower lights, and the sounds from the movie wrapped around the whole compound.
The slap of cold air on my face revived me a little, but something was squeezing the air out of my lungs. I forced myself to breathe in and out slowly, trying to fight the feeling of passing out.
I should have eaten something earlier, but the thought of seeing him tonight churned my stomach with anticipation and anxiety that it killed any appetite.
I startled when I heard a banging noise from the entrance doors. A second later, the same redhead appeared. She looked pissed off, muttering under her breath, "Fucking asshole."
I don't know how to feel, realizing that maybe he wasn't with her after all. But what I know is that I needed to get the hell out of here. I pushed off the wall and stepped forward.
The world spun.
Strong arms wrapped around me before I could fall on my face. Just by his touch, I knew immediately who it was. With utmost care, Cameron held my hips and lifted me to him, clasping me against him. My body remembered and I let it.
How many times had he held me like this? With my arms around his shoulders, my legs around his hips, feeling his heartbeat so that I couldn't tell which one was his and mine. We'd done this so many times before.
"Kara."
He felt so familiar, so solid and strong, so warm that I wanted to weep.
"What's wrong?" he asked. I could hear the deep concern and alarm in his voice.
Terrified that I'd cry in front of him, I buried my face in his neck. His scent, so painfully familiar, glorious and wonderful and heartbreaking. I shut my eyes closed.
"Tell me."
I couldn't answer him. If I opened my mouth and talked, I was scared all the things I'd been keeping inside would come out. And I didn't want him to find out. Not when he'd been so closed off. Not when he'd hurt me this much.
I heard him take a deep breath. His hand caressed my back, moving up to secure my neck. His other arm rested on my lower back, gripping me closer.
"If you don't answer me, I'm taking you to the hospital."
"I'm fine," I choked out. "Just dizzy."
"Did you sleep last night?"
"Yes."
"Did you have anything today other than coffee?"
I gritted my teeth. I hated how he knew me so well. I felt attacked. Someone who'd hurt me shouldn't know so much about me.
"That's what I thought," he said.
"I don't give a shit what you think. What are you, my keeper?"
"If you want."
No. Stop. He'd said this to me before. A long, long time ago. I resented him. I resented how close he was to me. How he believes he could just touch me like this. I pushed at him, but there was no strength in my arms. The movement caused everything around me to tilt and whirl.
"I'm taking you home."
He started to walk. Amidst the dizziness, I could tell he was moving slowly, being careful with me.
"I'm not going to your place," I said.
"I meant yours."
"You're definitely not welcome there."
"Careful, Sunshine. You're gonna make me think I'm all you think about."
Sunshine.
Sometimes I missed him so much. I missed all his words, all the little things he does for me, that I give in just a little. Maybe just tonight. Maybe it was okay if it was just until he takes me home. Then we could go back to the way it was before.
"Why are you holding me? Put me down."
He didn't say anything, just moved steadily.
"How'd you even know I'm here? You never once looked at me in the gym."
"I guess you didn't catch me this time," he said quietly.
My hands turned into fists. "Drop me off at my car."
"Don't be foolish. You can't drive."
"Who says I'll drive? I'll call someone."
"I'm right here."
"You're no one."
His shoulders, then his whole body tensed. Beside my cheek, I felt his jaw harden.
"Put me down."
He didn't say anything.
"I hate you," I whispered.
"I know."
"Let me go."
He was quiet for a beat. Then, "I will once you're home safe."
I heard the beep of his truck as he pressed his remote. This time the dizziness was fading as he settled me in the passenger seat.
As soon as he was seated, a deep anger overtook me. I swore I would never be here with him again. What the fuck was I doing? I had some strength left in me that boiling anger trickled down to my fingertips.
"Give me my things back," I demanded.
He started his truck, pulled out of the campus and into the highway.
"I said, give me my things back."
"Fine."
Suddenly he turned his truck around, tires screaming. His grip on the wheel was hard, tendons and veins standing out. I could hear the roar of his engine as he sped down the highway.
I revelled in it. I wanted him to be angry, furious with me. I wanted him to feel something. Double, no, triple the pain I was feeling.
The brakes screeched as he parked his truck in his driveway, jerked the door open.
"Wait here," he bit out. "I'll get your shit."
He'd always been beautiful, but when he was furious, he was devastating.
"No." Feeling a little steadier, I jerked my door open as hard as he did with his, slid out. "I'm going in. I'm going to take my things."
I watched as he climbed up the stairs to his front door, stopped there. He pulled out his keys, turned the key in the lock.
I took a deep breath and followed him. I stood behind him. Slowly, he turned. There was silence between us, the dark, and a million things left unsaid. He was watching me.
"So," I whispered, "I will let it hurt this one last time. Then I'm done." I looked down on my shoes, then up at him. "I'm done with you."
His gaze was steady on me as he opened the door. "Come in."
A/N: Please make me smile and vote by clicking the star at the bottom of your screen!
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Have I told you that WIL is by far the hardest WIP I ever had so far? And also the most fulfilling. Every time I finish a chapter and love it, it feels like a hug from Kara and Cameron :) This chapter drained my energy. The next one will probably destroy me. I can't wait! But right now, I'm going to crash because I've been working on this nonstop and now my brain hurts and my head feels like an empty watermelon and I have to charge it. See you in the next one. Stay safe and warm, my loves.
Love, Isabelle