A Thousand Suns
1.
The night that Shay leaves without her, Tally doesn't sleep. She can't bear to close her eyes without her best friend beside her. Tally convinced herself that it was she was just lacking the companionship that she had once had; after Peris had been made pretty, Shay had filled the void that had appeared. It was normal that her thoughts about Shay were frequent because the tricks they played were frequent. She hardly had any conversations other than with Shay in the last while so of course, she thinks about her all the time. She imagines what Shay's new life is like, and she feels nostalgic to the time they'd spent countless hours on her boards riding around together. It was thrilling.
Shay was thrilling.
2.
When Tally underwent an intervention from Dr. Cable at Special Circumstances, Tally wondered if Shay had ever met them before. Shay was always the brave one. She was the one who actually had met David before. She was the one who had found out all about this, about the Rusty Ruins, about the roller coaster, and about the Smoke. Without her, Tally would probably just be an ordinary pretty by now, and her one cool story would have been about a pig's mask, a bungee jacket, and a fire alarm. After many parties in the Pretty town, she would have run out of material instantly. Tally crinkles and unwraps the note that Shay left her. She looks over the words with her thumb. Her marks with Peris were gone, but her marks with Shay still remained. They seemed even more powerful to her, somehow.
Even compared to Peris, her last fragments with Shay never left her.
3.
The first day out in the wild, Tally imagines the whole adventure would be better if Shay was with her. She wishes that she had left with Shay, because then they'd talk, and laugh, and come up with solutions together instead of just following some cold clues that Shay had written. If Shay were her, she'd be able to share the SpagBol with her. They'd ride the rapids together and swim together and see all these beautiful sights together. Tally realizes that of anyone she'd ever met, she'd prefer that Shay was with her more than anyone else, even Peris, or her own family. The thoughts became a yearning, and all Tally starts to care about is finding out if Shay is okay, what she's doing with her days now.
Tally starts to dream of starting a new life with her.
4.
As the rangers carry her over the flower fields, Tally starts to really consider the weight of betrayal that the necklace carries with her. She imagines the hurt, the anguish on Shay's face when she finds out about the necklace. All that she clings to is that perhaps Dr. Cable is right. Perhaps Shay's life is in danger, and she and the other runaways are waiting to go back, to be rescued. They wanted the operation secretly just like she did, and they just wanted to prove themselves before they had a chance to go home. She thinks about Shay's friends that she went to join and she hopes that she'll live up to the, that she'll compare. She can't stand to think that she'll be replaced again, like Peris with his new friends in New Pretty Town.
Only it's worse, far worse when Shay's involved.
5.
When Tally finally sees Shay again, she's overjoyed. Not only is Shay alive and well, but she is thriving. Shay is bubbling and overjoyed with this new way of life, with all her newfound information. Shay loves being her tour guide, showing her all the different areas around the Smoke, getting her a good deal on her trades, and giving her good advice about the work and the people. They get to go on adventures together again, only this time it seems even more important, and even more meaningful. What makes it even better for Tally is that even with Shay's other friends here, Shay still makes Tally feel particularly special. She spends time alone with her, and she shares things with Tally that she wouldn't share with anyone else.
Above all else, Shay is Tally's friend again. Her best friend again.
6.
Everything changes for Tally when David gifts her the mittens. She'd gone with him to find out what he knew, what his life was like, it was just out of interest. Tally tries to tell Shay that, but Shay only looks hurt by it. "David's never told me any of those things, and I've been here longer," Shay huffs. "I came here alone, and he thought that was cool..." Tally rambles. "You came here on your own because you wouldn't go with me," says Shay. "Yes but, I came here to find you!" Says Tally. They're nearly shouting, but only in whispers so the others don't here. "You can keep the mittens," says Tally. "No don't. He gave them to you," says Shay. "Then we'll split them. Here, you take one, you must be cold..." offers Tally. Shay's eyes flicker at the idea of sharing the moves with Tally, but she doesn't accept Tally's offer.
"Just go be with David-" says Shay, before she walks away from Tally, leaving Tally dumbfounded.
7.
Tally doesn't understand what Shay means until she spends more time alone with just David. When David starts to talk about her being different, she nods but she always insists that the real different one was Shay. She explains how Shay would always go first, how she would always have her back. It's not until David leans in and nearly kisses her that Tally finally notices what David had been implying all this time; David had feelings for her, and feelings he'd hope she'd reciprocate, but she did not. "I can't, David," says Tally. "It's because of her, isn't it?" Says David, and Tally agrees with him. "I know you always compare yourself to her, but you're the one that I like," offers David. "I know," says Tally. "It's not even about that," she adds. "What's it about then?" Asks David. "It's just... Since we've been so close, Shay hasn't been as close with me," says Tally.
It's as close to the truth as Tally can manage.
8.
"David told me that you broke up with him," says Shay, several days later. "We weren't going out in the first place," says Tally. "Oh," says Shay. "It was a misunderstanding," says Tally. "He wanted to, but I didn't." Shay nods, and then she pauses before she speaks up again. "It's sort of not fair to say this because you're your own person, and you can do whatever you want, but I'm sort of glad," says Shay. "I can tell," offers Tally, and off Shay's curious expression, Tally continues. "You weren't talking to me then, but you are now." It's simpler than the deeper sentiments that Tally's been thinking about, but it's a start, and she feels that Shay catches it. "Sorry about that," says Shay. "I shouldn't have acted that way. I just couldn't help myself." Tally accepts this, and she accepts that Shay finally wants to be her friend again.
"I lashed out because I was jealous. It was wrong and I'm sorry," says Shay, without meeting Tally's eye, and she walks away looking embarrassed before Tally gets to reply to her.
9.
"I didn't know that Shay liked you," says Tally, the next time that she ends up working with David. "She doesn't," says David. "Trust me, I already asked." David looks embarrassed about this, and Tally realizes that David must be shy because he liked her and well, she gave him her answer the last time. "Oh," says Tally. "Sorry." Tally shrugs, thinking that it must suck for him that both she and Shay turned him down. "But wait I thought she did, I mean, she got so upset when I was getting closer to you. I figured she was jealous," says Tally. "She was, in a way, she was jealous that I showed you more about the history faster than I did with her, but that's not why she was the most jealous," says David. "'I'm lost," says Tally. "You'll figure it out," David grins at her knowingly. "No I won't," says Tally. "Maybe you actually won't," offers David. "Okay, I'll give you a hint," he finally concedes to her.
"It's not you that she was jealous of. Shay was jealous of me because I was going to kiss you."
10.
The revelation hits Tally like a tonne of bricks. "No-" says Tally. "It can't be true." David smiles, and he just shrugs again. "It's true," says David. "You can totally tell by the way she was acting. She likes you! And by the way that you talk about her, I think you like her," says David. "Of course I like her!" Says Tally. "I mean like-like her," says David. "What makes you say that?" Asks Tally. "Have you ever noticed that any time we talk, you almost always find a way to talk about Shay somehow?" Asks David. "No," offers Tally. "See, you hardly notice it," says David. "Well, you do. And you risked your life to save her. And I have a little guess about what that heart necklace is about," says David. "You noticed my necklace?" Says Tally. "I did," says David. "I noticed it a long time ago. And I think you brought it for her. To make up for lost time. It's really nice," says David. "Yeah..." says Tally. "It is, isn't it.
Tally gives David a hug before she goes to see Shay. "What's this all about?" Asks Shay. "I brought this for you," offers Tally. "I thought I was supposed to rescue you, but now that I know that you really want to be here, I want to give it to you so that you can stay. We can stay here as long as we want to," says Tally. "You brought it for me?" Asks Shay, shyly. "I brought it for you," Tally smiles. Tally places the necklace around Shay's neck before she leans in to touch their foreheads together. "If you ever want to go back, then I'll go with you. And if you want to stay here, then I'll stay. I just want us to be together," says Tally. "Always," says Shay. And then they both lean in.