Jeanette continued her thoughts as they flowed through her brain, following them along like walking down a long road. Everyone was the same. It was just human conditioning that erroneously made people believe they were superior over someone else. Skin color did not matter. Upbringing did not matter. Power, guns, and money did not matter.
~
"He made me too curious," Morningstar continued. "I wanted to be at His side constantly. I wanted to know everything--absolutely everything. After awhile He grew tired of me, impatient. He began to ignore me. So I began to watch Him from afar."
"Fine," Vince said, glaring, "so he was a shitty parent. That doesn't give you the right to--"
"You asked me a question," Morningstar interrupted testily, "so let me finish.
"He had this--this thing. He began making other things similar to me with it. I didn't understand--I thought I had done something wrong. I thought He was trying to replace me."
Hakan's eyes fell to Morningstar's hand as it clenched into a fist on the table. He winced.
"Then he made Adam and Eve."
~
Jeanette stepped out from behind the pillar. Lucifer whirled around. Jeanette outspread her wings almost in a daze. Calmly, slowly, she began to walk to Lucifer.
Sera stirred, moaned, and opened his eyes. He looked in awe—Jeanette had become pure light, taking on the shape of an angel. The light was blinding, even to him, and he squinted against it.
~
"They were absolutely inferior in every possible, conceivable way," Morningstar continued. "I didn't understand—I still don't understand."
Somehow seeing Morningstar cry was more frightening than what they saw Lucifer doing in the physical realm.
"He loved them. He became absolutely obsessed. And He gave them this perfect little world, this perfect little garden, and they were so blissful and I was so miserable. It was beautiful, and they were beautiful, and I hate them, I hate them so much!"
~
As Jeanette walked solemnly towards Lucifer, she thought about love. Love was the key to everything. Lucifer was how he was because he thought God had turned his back to him. If only he knew that God loved him so. God loved all His creations, even those that sinned, and especially His first child, Lucifer. Making Lucifer Fall was just a punishment.
~
"So I went to Eden and I became friends with them," Morningstar said, tears silently running down his cheeks, "especially Eve. And I was allowed to eat the fruit that grew there, so I ate an apple and I offered it to her. And she hesitated at first, but then she gave in."
He shook his head, holding it in his hands again. "And then she joyfully brought it to her husband, and he ate it, and I would've gotten away with it had they just not made themselves clothes..."
~
Jeanette understood now. God didn't hate Lucifer—God loved Lucifer. Lucifer had been misguided. Instead of learning from his mistakes, instead of the punishment being a tool for learning, the mistake had warped him, corrupted him, driven him insane.
God never expected those things to be an outcome. Had He known that's what would happen to Lucifer, Jeanette knew God never would have thrown out His Morningstar. It was neither God's fault nor Lucifer's. It was a misunderstanding.
~
"But that's not what made me Fall. He was willing to look past that transgression. However... that wasn't good enough for me."
Morningstar cried harder. "He kept... making things. And then Adam and Eve started making things—children—and it was disgusting and unnatural, and frightening how her belly grew, and it was terrifying how violent the births were—"
He sucked in a gasp of breath, trying to gain his composure.
"So I had to stop it. It was all so unnatural and horrible and it was just supposed to be Him and I, so I stole the stupid Focal Point of Being so he couldn't make anything at all."
~
That's what it came down to. Most everything in the world was a huge misunderstanding. People were good, they just wanted what they believed was best for themselves and those around them. However, everyone has a different idea as to what is good, and everything got muddled in the middle. If everyone could just put their differences aside and listen to one another, maybe there wouldn't be so much sadness in the world.
~
"But He caught me. And He was angry—" Morningstar shut his eyes tightly, "—so angry, and instead of talking to me like He always promised me He would do, He smote me. He smote me, and I Fell."
"I'm sorry that happened to you," Vincent said sincerely, a hand to his mouth.
"But...why do you punish humans after all this time?" Hakan asked gently. "I'm so very sorry you got kicked out of Heaven, but it's not our fault. If you just talked to God—"
Morningstar snapped. He slammed his hand on the table and got to his feet. Hakan and Vince were bewildered, utterly frightened out of their wits.
"It has nothing to do with you stupid, pathetic humans!" Morningstar snarled.
"Then what does it have to do with?" Vince stammered out.
Morningstar leaned forward, both palms pressed against the table. Though he was still Morningstar, the look on his face was pure Lucifer, looking beautifully wicked.
"I want God to be as alone as He made me."
~
It all seemed so clear and simple to her now. Jeanette outspread her arms to Lucifer, looking up at him. Lucifer looked down on her, absolutely terrified. He stumbled back, tripping over his tattered cape.
"W-What are you doing? How are you looking into me?" Lucifer asked, with a shaking voice. He then grabbed his head. "Stop it. Stop it. Stop it! No! Get out of my head! Stop prying at my brain! Those are my memories, leave them alone!"
Lucifer snapped into a rage and he attacked Jeanette. Jeanette didn't even flinch, merely grabbed his balled fist by the wrist and stopped him. Lucifer tried to hit her with his other hand, but she easily grabbed that one too. He went to head butt her but she grabbed his head in her hands.
Lucifer burst into tears, collapsing onto his knees. They were eye to eye, her eyes two small suns.
"No," Lucifer sobbed. "No, leave me alone. Leave me alone."
Jeanette smiled at Lucifer and stroked his hair. Tears of golden light poured out of her eyes. She hugged him as he screamed, sounding heartbroken.
"He loves you," Jeanette whispered into his ear.
~
"I just want Him to love me," Morningstar said. "I deserve His love. After everything, everything—don't I deserve His love?"
He pushed off the table and began pacing. To the pair's confusion, he began to fade. At first they both thought it was their imagination, but as he spoke he became see through.
"I mean, look at The Surface. He offers forgiveness to rapists, and murderers...All I wanted was to not be forgotten, and that's unforgivable?"
Vince and Hakan didn't know what to say.
Lucifer looked at Hakan then. "What did you do when your own father betrayed you and your trust, and threw your love for him back into your face?"
Hakan pondered seriously upon the question. Finally he raised his eyes, looking into the simmering eyes of beauty, and spoke. "I surrounded myself with people who loved me, and I learned to love myself. Do you love yourself, Lucifer?"
Lucifer never replied, growing fainter and fainter.
"What's happening to you?" Vince asked quietly, afraid to.
Morningstar looked down at himself and wiped his tears. He chuckled.
"Oh, that? I'm losing."
~
There was a flash of blinding light that illuminated the entire throne room. It was just a second, and when everything returned to normal, the room was silent.
~
Morningstar looked at the floor. He was barely visible now. "I won't die though. Not now. I won't die until I find some way to get God's love back. And I will, some day."
He looked up, tears standing in his eyes again. "Thank you for talking, I suppose."
And then he was gone.