omniscient
katana was currently at home laying in bed, it had been about a week since the incident and 4 days since her abortion
everything had seemed to go back to normal, her mom came back home from europe, the trio was together again, and she started therapy. everything seemed fine
but it wasn't, not for her. nothing was fine, her mind had been racing for the last couple weeks. she had been feeling things she hadn't felt in so long and none of them were good things to feel. she was honestly severely depressed
she didn't know why though, before any of this she was fine. she had been healing from all the things that had happened to her, so why now? why now did her brain decide to fail on her? why now is everything in her body working against her?
why the one time that she felt like she was loved? why not all the other times when nothing but bad things were happening to her? she had so many questions and no answers for them
kat had been in her head, desperately trying to pinpoint a route to this spiral she was having but every time she came up short. she was going through a episode, and this time there was no stopping it so she had to roll with it
she sat up from her bed and reached over to grab her phone, she opened it and saw it was 1:32 pm. she got up from her bed and walked into her bathroom
she stared at herself in the mirror, she looked like shit. you could tell she was going through it just by looking at her. she still looked so pretty in everyone else's eyes though
weirdly enough she felt comforted in the feelings of despair, she was so used to feeling like this that when she did it put her mind at ease in a sick and twisted way
she heard her phone vibrate and she picked it up, it was a text from jah telling her to come open the door. she didn't even know he was still in her city, she thought he would have went back to florida by now
she walked out of her bathroom and bedroom to go downstairs, when she reached the bottom step her cat mink, started circling her and she laughed at this
she politely stepped over her and went to open the door, when she opened it she saw jah standing there with a bouquet of flowers. he walked in and hugged her, she hugged him back "you okay mama? i haven't heard shit from you in 2 days" he stated as he pulled away and handed her the flowers
she took them and shrugged "not really but it is what it is" she replied dismissively, she didn't want to say much because then jah would want to talk about it and she wanted to just sit in it until it dissolved
jah nodded as the two went upstairs, they went into her room and she closed the door behind them. he sat on her bed and she came over and sat next to him
"what's wrong kat? everything was fine when you were in broward with me, then you come back, relapse, and go missing? what happened?" he asked sympathetically and she sighed
"i honestly don't really know, it's like something just snapped and next thing i know i'm losing it. one minute i'm at home on the phone with you, next minute i'm at brit's passed out on the floor unconscious. i really don't know what's wrong with me right now" she replied softly as tears began running down her face
jah pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her as she buried her head in his chest and cried. she cried a lot which is something he noticed, but he also noticed how she had a lot to cry about. the more he learns about her, the more he learns how truly wrecked this girl really is. but she was worth fixing to him, she was his diamond in the rough
she pulled her head up from his chest and felt as her hood fell off her head, she looked up and finally met jah's eyes. the two stared at each other for a second before jah leaned in and kissed kat
she kissed back and wrapped her arms around his neck as the kiss deepened, jah grabbed kat's ass she pulled away. she pushed him back onto her bed and he bit his lip as he looked up at her
in his eyes she was beautiful no matter what she was going through, that's how in love he was with her. he hadn't felt the things he felt for her in so long, he didn't even know if he was capable of being this in love with someone ever again but then kat showed up and proved him wrong
jah's grip on her had loosened and she took his hands and slid them up her thighs which pulled him out of his thoughts
he felt her slowly grind her hips against him and he bit his lip, he missed her and the feeling of her but this wasn't right. she wasn't in the right state of mind and he would never want to take advantage of her like that
"kat..mama we can't. we can't do this right now" he told her as he removed his hands from her inner thighs. she rolled her eyes "why not? we both know you love fucking me" she stated in a monotone voice and he sighed
"yes baby i do, but you're not okay right now. you need to be comforted, not fucked" he replied and she gave him a stank face "you can comfort me while you fuck me" she said with a smirk as she leaned down and pecked his lips
he laughed at how persistent she was "i promise i will fuck the daylights out you and make your stuffed animals watch later, but right now just let me hold you ok?" he reassured her and she sighed as she sat back up
"fine i guess" she told him flatly and he sat up before wrapping his arms around her again. she laid down against his chest and started thinking to herself before jah pulled her out of her thoughts
"kat i noticed you have a infatuation with death, what's that about?" he asked her and she shrugged "i could ask you the same thing jah, but honestly i don't know. i'm not scared of it but i wanna know what's on the other side. is heaven and hell even real? can you talk to the dead? will we all be stuck in purgatory for the rest of eternity? who knows if this void our spirits are supposed to go is even real?? i have so many questions that can never get answered" she mumbled out
he nodded taking in her answer "you make a valid point with that, but also why focus on it so much? trust me i used to wonder about the unknown mysteries of death a lot myself but we'll never truly know until we experience it. only thing we can know for now is the present, i believe there are multiple universes out there where there are multiple versions of us. in this version me and you met, but there's a version out there where we didn't. there's so much we don't know and we're forced to live in the moment as this is all we have" he told her and she nodded lazily
"yea that's true, but think about it. we don't know the unknown because we've never tried, no bullshit i definitely think you can talk to ghosts and shit, there's no real reason we can't. the spiritual realm exists and witchcraft is a thing so why can't we know the unknown temptations of death" she retaliated and he nodded in agreement
"oh you fasho can talk to the dead ma, once you open your third eye and ascend mentally into the spirit realm is when you can speak to your ancestors and channel their feelings and energy. it's an insane concept but it also is so enlightening. imma get you there mentally though, i don't want you to stay in this constant battle with yourself. imma take care of you so that you don't ever have to feel like this ever again" he said to her before kissing her forehead and weirdly enough she believed him
she believed him when he said he never wanted her to feel like this ever again and she believed him when he said he would get her right mentally because for the first time in a long time, her guard was down. all defense mechanisms had been shot up like someone spun the block, and she thought he was for real but even if he wasn't she would still believe he was because he told her and showed her constantly that he really did love her
(a/n: hey upper east siders, i've decided to start being nicer to y'all and not giving y'all anymore chaos at least for next 3 or 4 updates. i put y'all through enough with the last 3 so imma give y'all time to recover. enjoy the lil lovey dovey moment these two negros have at the end up of the chapter, anyways you know you love me. xoxo, gossip girl 💋)