It's 2:30 am.
Should she be worried if she was sleeping only three hours a day? Shaira's mind wandered while she was laying in sheets. She was sleep-paralyzed just a few minutes ago. The feeling of not being able to wake up and be caged up in your own body was terrifying. She started having it three years before. When the pressure of her studies and life came on her shoulders. At first, their frequency was low, maybe once in two months but now they are way more frequent. Maybe three times a week. She had decided she will tell these to Mr. Sordo the first she met him.
She sighed and stood up from the bed as sleep was further away from her. Grabbing up her violin she decided to practice the violin. The music competition was near. The moment she opened the door, she saw her music room a mess. The crushed papers and her music notes sprawled on the desk. She immediately closed the door. She needs to clean it before she could play in it again. Shaira did not know why but the moment this whole ordeal of her papers was getting signed, she felt like she had lost her touch. The violin still sounded amazing but not from her heart.
The feeling of calmness and euphoria she used to get from it no longer exist but Shiara knew how much she loved it so she would not give up. She has lost so many things that she did not want to lose one more. She picked up her violin and went downstairs. The staff has been changed so she was less afraid now.
Shaira remembered the moment she saw her music teacher playing her violin one fine morning at school. She was eight at that time. The smile on her teacher's face was contagious. It was as if you could feel her feelings, which had mesmerized her. That's when she decided she would be the storyteller of her own life, but she did not that her small interest would help her so much in her tough life ahead.
Shaira unraveled the curtain of a huge glass wall in the common area. She sighed looking at the snow-covered garden with bright orange lamps lightening the patio. She wanted to be as calm as possible. Even if no one was there to hear her story, she decided to play for her, not for a concert, not for someone else- Just for her. She braised her violin on her neck.
Starting to play too good at goodbyes. Her eyes were closed remembering all the time she had suffered. Her eyes moisten. Remembering those times when she endured and cried yet stay strong. The day she stopped abusing herself for something she never did. The day she stopped crying in front of her brothers. The day she stood up for her. The day she stopped begging for their attention. Then the day when the thought of dying came to her mind. The day when she got the courage to say not to herself. In all of the days, that one day that she awaits was when all of her efforts made her what she wanted her to be.
By the end of the song, the silent tears were evident on her face. Her concentration was disturbed by a sudden clank.
Shaira swiftly wiped her face and put her violin down behind her back. She put her head down. Playing in common was a bad idea even if she was sure that no one would be awake which was so wrong. Mr. Aestus gestured her to sit. She swiftly went to the other sofa against Mr. Aestus. Shaira blamed her bad luck. Of all the people she could have encountered she encountered the elder head of the house. She nervously played with her fingers not having eye contact with another person.
On the other hand, Mr. Aestus was silent. Even in his simple trousers and black inners he still looked intimidating to her.
"How are you?"
Shaira's head snapped towards Mr. Aestus. Her eyes widened. She had never expected this to be the first question of her first conversation with him. Shaira did not even know how Mr. Aestus. He had always seen him cold and aloof.
"I am fine."
Shaira replied short and curt. She just wants to get out of here. She did not want to sound rude, but she was fed up with this too good behavior of Vanidestines. Her eyes clearly show fear, but a hint of disinterest was clear in them. Her mind fired a shot of telling her to ask him about annulment papers. Where would she get better opportunity for that?
"No, you are clearly not." Aestus retorted.
Shaira was irked by that. Who is he to say that? He never took interest in her. He was hardly ever there for his own kids. According to Shaira, He was a selfish man leaving everything on Dexton shoulder just to cop up with his pain.
"I apologize first if I am being rude, but I don't think I need to explain this to you." Shaira said her eyes showing disdain. She does not find any reason to explain her mental health to someone who does not care.
Mr. Aestus eyes slightly widen. He did not say anything just silently staring at her. As Shaira did not get any clear answer from him she took it as a sign to get out from there.
"I apologize for my rudeness, but I need to go first." Shaira said. She felt suffocating there. She could feel her temper rising.
"When did you start running from conversation?" Aestus said. Shaira eye twitched. She was running from the conversation- Oh please. She does not want to waste her much precious time if they don't even have the courage to 'man up' and admit their mistakes.
"I want ask you sir; do you even know me enough to say that?" Shaira said. Her eyes were fiery. That next to nonexistent sleep was taking a toll on her and that is for sure. She was irritated and tired.
"Maybe not but I knew someone just like you" Aestus said.
"Please Mr. Aestus, I do not want to talk to you about all of this." Shaira said with finality. Before she could walk away. She heard the words she never expected to hear from any of the Vanidestines.
"I apologize Shaira, for all of the things you have faced in your life because of us."
Shaira could not believe what she heard. Mr. Aestus sitting on the sofa. His eyes were cold just slight hint of remorse which could be easily missed by a normal person but not Shaira.He was looking tired. She was one girl who had trained herself to recognize every subtle change in any of Vanidestine's expression. She could not say anything but just stared dumbly at Mr. Aestus.
"If you could sit for two minutes here. I want to say something."
Shaira wanted to listen to him as he was the first Vanidestine who actually apologize for her not making some blind assumption about her. She silently walked back to the table. Mr. Aestus poured a cup of water for her. She silently took the cup from him.
"I know It would sound like a sugarcoated rationale but it's not. Trust me I never wanted to hurt a child. I could never. I have five kids; I know but I was hurt. I was so drowned in my own misery that I need it to let go of it alone without anyone near me. I know you have questions, but I just could not answer you right now. I want to say please don't hurt yourself anymore. Please don't cry anymore. I just want that."
Shaira was listening to the whole conversation with wide eyes. A slight tremor in Mr. Aestus voice with a little sloppy moment. Shaira finally noticed he was tipsy. She was sure that Mr. Aestus would never say those things to her if he was in his right mind. Was it even truth? but one thing was sure that she had clearly misunderstood him. She sighed.
"I think this is not the right time for the talk Mr. Aestus. You need rest." Shaira said looking at Mr. Aestus to which Mr. Aestus nodded.
Shaira could feel the hope in the farthest corner of her heart that even if she decided to not be in the part of family anymore but maybe she will forgive them someday and live a peaceful life. She stood up from the couch and went to the door but before she could go, she halted and looked back at Mr. Aestus who was laying his head backwards on sofa. Maybe trying to contemplate what the heck he just blurted out because anyone could tell he was swinging between sobriety and drunkenness. She smiled unconsciously.
"I would take your drunken words as truth Mr. Aestus. You seem to be a lot kinder than I had expected."
Mr. Aestus head snapped towards the young girl carrying a small smile. He did not say anything but the message he wanted to give was heard.
Loud and Clear
...
Surprise Guys! This is your next update. Enjoy!!
A massive shoutout to my dear little sister who actually offered me to pack my bags for college just so I could write, and she could read a new update. I could not have imagined her to be so supportive that she herself downloaded Wattpad just to read my books. She is just so cute-sometimes.
I know you guys have a lot of spicy speculations and opinions. But I want to say. Patience is key. I will give my level best to deliver a story which could touch your heart. So you can trust me on that.
Quick question- Your fav sibling moment?
Mine is right here.
Bye guys! I hope you will enjoy it. Vote and comment and tell me how it is.