Archie woke up before anybody else in the house. He was lying in bed with his mom, his aunt Mermaid and uncle Alex, the three of them sleeping soundly. Mom had one arm under Archie's head, with Meredith on the other side of Archie, flat on her stomach. Uncle Alex was behind mom, one of his arms resting on mom's arm, like he had been holding her to reassure her he was there for her all night.
Archie carefully crawled to the end of the bed, dodging stray legs as he clambered off the mattress and onto the floor. He crept out of the room, the door slightly ajar because of Alex checking on the babies at some point. Archie slipped out, heading down the hallway.
Amelia's bedroom door was open, with Amelia and Maggie asleep on the bed. Maggie's bedroom door was open, Jackson and April asleep in there with baby Harriet in her crib.
Archie headed towards the attic stairs, walking quietly upstairs so he could check on the others.
Zola and Henry were fast asleep on Zola's bed, Bailey and Rue were fast asleep in their beds, and the three younger girls were still asleep in their cribs. Archie grabbed some clothes from his, Bailey and Rue's bedroom and headed downstairs, getting changed and then brushing his teeth and washing his face. Archie left the bathroom and headed downstairs.
Jo and Steph were asleep in the playroom on the sofas, and Richard was asleep in the spare bedroom downstairs. Owen was asleep on one of the living room sofas, while Addison and Bailey slept on the other two sofas, cups of coffee long forgotten on the table, showing Archie they'd stayed up later than he had.
Archie headed into the kitchen and opened the fridge, grabbing the milk and putting it on the side. He climbed up onto the side and opened one of the cupboards, grabbing three bottles out of it and putting them on the counter. He poured milk into the three bottles, then put them in the microwave and pressed for thirty seconds.
Archie put the milk away, then moved towards the coffee pot. He grabbed the filter from the back and added more water into it, putting it back in the machine carefully. He put more coffee grounds into the coffee filter, pressing the button to start the pot.
"Hey, little dude," Jo whispered, walking into the kitchen and rubbing her eyes. "What are you doing?" she asked.
"Making the bottles and coffee," Archie said.
Jo just stared at him. This was Erin's morning routine, and Archie had always been the only kid to get up with Erin early every morning and do this with her. He was doing it without Erin, because nobody else but him should do his and his mama's morning routine.
The microwave beeped and he pulled the door open, taking the bottles out and feeling the side. He nodded, then screwed the lids on tightly and held them over the sink sideways to make sure they wouldn't leak on the babies. He squeezed drops of milk from each bottle on his wrist to check the temperature, then nodded again.
"I'll take them to the kids," Jo said, taking the bottles. "You sit down, okay? I'll make us some cereal when I come back," she said.
Archie nodded, moving to sit at the island. Jo hurried upstairs and gave the bottles to the three girls who were just starting to stir awake, then headed back downstairs and knocked on Arizona's door to tell her she'd given the girls their bottles.
She headed down to the kitchen again, making two bowls of cereal and a cup of coffee for herself, a smaller one for Archie. She put it in front of him with a small smile.
"Do not tell anybody. I'm cool aunt Jo, and it's only a little bit," she whispered.
A real smile flashed on Archie's face and he nodded.
"I won't. Promise," he whispered back.
His moms never gave him coffee. Mama relented sometimes and let him steal sips from her, but mom was more strict on it. Archie figured aunt Jo was trying to give him some familiar comfort of his mama, even if it was letting him have a small cup of coffee. It did make him feel a bit better. His mama was obsessed with coffee.
She sat down beside him, the two of them starting to eat quietly.
"Are you going to see mama?" Archie asked.
"Today?" Jo said.
"Yeah," Archie said.
"Uh, I don't know. Mom, Amelia, Maggie and Mer are going back to the hospital to meet with her doctors. The rest of us will go to work or stay home with you guys until we know any more information," Jo said.
"Mom said I might be able to see her, if the doctors say. Do you think they'll say?" Archie asked.
"It's hard to say. They'll have to run a lot of tests on mama to make sure she's okay. She'll have to have CTs, and then there's the brain activity tests they'll have to run. And we don't know how she got through the night, yet. But, if all things come back good and she's staying stable, she'll be moved from the ICU onto a normal ward, so, yeah, you might be able to visit her today," Jo said.
She was trying hard not to lie to him, because Erin didn't lie to any of her kids. She told them the age appropriate version of whatever was happening, and so did Arizona. Jo always told them the truth, too, but this truth was heartbreaking and she didn't want to give Archie false hope when she truly didn't know enough information to give him a honest doctor's opinion like he wanted.
"Do you think we'll have to move house?" Archie said.
"What?" Jo asked.
"Well, mama had to get neurosurgery. And Alex said she coded, so, we don't know the long term damages done to her brain. Nicole went blind. Derek died. She could be paralysed, blind, lose her memory, lose her speech or anything. She'd need a special house, so she could still stay at home with us. Or would she go to a home?" Archie asked.
"She's... She's not a dog," Jo frowned.
"A home for long term care patients, auntie Jo," Archie said, raising an eyebrow as he took another bite of cereal. "C'mon. I thought you were the doctor here," he said.
"That's rude," Jo said, a small smile tugging at her face, anyway. It was something Erin would say, so, she couldn't even be mad at him.
"It is. I'm sorry," Archie frowned, looking down at his cereal again. "Sorry."
"It's okay. I get it. Uh, I think that being in a facility for long term care patients would be better for any patient who ends up with some form of brain damage or paralysis, or whatever. Otherwise, we'd need to employ home nurses and aids to stay with her while we all worked. We'd potentially have to get the house adapted for her, like how we have the rails in the shower for your mom, because of her leg," Jo said.
"And that would be a lot. There's too many people in this house to make changes. We'd have to move house, or mama would go to a facility. She'd be lonely in a facility," Archie said.
"You would be able to visit her all the time," Jo said. "But, Archie, this is all hypothetical right now. You get that, right? Until we know more, until she wakes up, we can't make any decisions. We don't have enough information, yet. We'll find out more today and over the next few weeks," Jo said.
Archie pushed his cereal around the bowl for a few seconds, dropping the spoon and looking up at Jo.
"I think mama is lonely," Archie whispered.
"What makes you think that, little man?" Jo asked softly.
"When uncle Derek died, aunt Mermaid left her. And Amelia was here all the time so mama could make sure she was okay. And mom was there, but mama didn't talk about it. Mama didn't get to hurt. And... And I heard mom on the phone to mama yesterday morning. Mama and Meredith had a fight about Meredith leaving. Mom said that Meredith abandoned her," Archie said, looking back down at his cereal.
Jo just stared at him for a few seconds before he spoke up again.
"Mama isn't okay. She isn't smiling like she used to. Even with Lydia's surgery, even with us, it's not like it used to be, before Derek died. And she pretends she's fine, 'cause that's what uncle Derek used to say the Grey sisters did, and you all believe her. Nobody saw they weren't real smiles," Archie whispered.
"Why didn't you tell anybody you noticed, Archie?" Jo asked.
"I thought I could fix it. Fix mama, and make it better," Archie's bottom lip trembled as he looked at Jo. "I learned about so many surgeries to try and find out what was wrong with her and how to fix it so I could tell mom, and I didn't find anything. There's no surgery for pretend smiles," Archie cried.
"Oh, sweetheart," Jo sighed, pulling him onto her lap and rocking him gently from side to side. "There isn't a surgery for pretend smiles, because it's not a surgical condition. It's mental health and emotions. Mama is keeping a lot of big grown up feelings to herself since uncle Derek died because she wants to take care of everybody else," Jo said.
"But who takes care of mama if I can't fix it?" Archie cried.
"It's not your job to fix mama. That's for the adults to do," Jo kissed his forehead.
"But she fixes me. Whenever I'm hurt or sad, she makes it better. I can't make mama better," Archie whispered.
Jo closed her eyes, kissing his forehead again. He was so much like Erin that it broke her heart.
"You do make her better, just by being you," Jo whispered.
"Then why is she so lonely?" Archie asked.
"Sometimes," Jo started, running her fingers through his hair, "Sometimes, our mental health can be really bad. No matter what good things we have in our life, our mental health makes us focus on only the bad things. And, if nobody notices, or we don't talk about how sad we are, it's really hard to make our mental health better. So, because none of the adults noticed and mama didn't tell us, we didn't know that we had to help her feel better. That's why she's so lonely. She's sad," Jo said.
"Because of Derek dying and Mer abandoning her?" Archie asked.
"Partially, yes, but there are a lot of things that can contribute to a dip in mental health. Like, say you woke up one morning and you ran out of your favourite cereal. It'd make you a bit upset, but it would be okay, because you had your second favourite cereal and could buy more later. And then your car has a flat tyre, so you have to take the bus to school, and the bus is late, and then you're late for school. You don't do well on a spelling test, you forgot your homework and it rains when you have to get the bus home, so your bag gets all wet and your book is ruined. You go home and cry, 'cause it's been a very bad day with one small thing happening after the other, until it's too much and you break down," Jo said.
"So, it's like loads of bad days that make her sad?" Archie said.
"The clinical term is depression," Jo said, "And I don't know if I should be the one to tell you this. Why aren't you asking mom?" she asked.
"Because mom will get worried about me and she needs to worry about mama and Rue and the twins, right now. And I'd ask mama about this, but mama isn't here, and mom didn't know she was pretend smiling, so, I'll upset mom if I ask," Archie said, looking up at Jo. "But mama and uncle Alex said I can talk to you about anything, 'cause you've been my auntie Jo since the day you met me and you want me to be happy," she said.
Jo smiled weakly, tears burning in her eyes as she kissed Archie's forehead again.
"Have you ever heard of depression?" she asked.
"Yeah. It's being sad all the time," Archie said.
"It is. Mama has that. And, sometimes, it isn't bad, so mama is happy. She can be happy for a really long time, and then a few bad things happen and she goes sad again. She'll always have it, it won't go away, but we know about it and we know how to make her feel better, and we can help make mama better when we know what's happening," Jo said.
"Has mama had it for long?" Archie asked. "I know uncle Mark and aunt Lexie died when I was a baby, and mama got shot, and lost Quinn, and some people weren't really nice to her. She has scars on the back of her legs from a bad person," Archie said.
"Yeah, sweetheart. Mama's had it for a long time," Jo said.
"Then why didn't any of you notice?" Archie asked. "I did. I noticed. Nobody else did," he said.
"They might've noticed, and just not told you," Jo said.
"Did you notice?" Archie asked.
"No," Jo shook her head. "I didn't. And I feel terrible for not seeing it, and so will everybody else when we talk, later. But your mama is very good at hiding things. She doesn't like people helping her," she said.
"But why? Does she like being sad?" Archie asked.
"No, she doesn't like being sad. It's just how she is, I think. I'm a lot like your mama. She's like the mom I never had. And, whenever I'm sad, I like to pretend I'm okay, because I don't want people like your mama or you to notice and worry about me. Your mama is probably the same," Jo said.
Archie stared up at her for a few seconds before nodding, staring blankly ahead at the wall. Jo kissed his forehead again, rocking him from side to side as she finished her coffee and cereal. Archie stayed curled up on Jo's lap, closing his eyes as he tried to think of all the pretend smiles his mama might've given him that he didn't notice.
Arizona, Amelia, Maggie and Meredith walked into the hospital at nine am, the receptionist from last night still sat at the desk. She smiled when she saw them.
"Hey, guys. So, good news. Erin has been moved onto our recovery ward on floor four. I have four visitor's passes ready and Dr. Lewis is waiting upstairs to see you all. I think they're just waiting for all the test results to get back," she said, handing them four badges.
"Thank you," Maggie said.
They took the badges and headed to the elevator, Amelia pressing the button for floor four.
The four of them were, obviously, visiting Erin. Bailey had gone to work with Richard, Steph, Owen and Alex, who was being forced to work in the clinic while he was on probation because of his case. He would've stayed home, but he knew he needed to keep busy and stay on track with his court case or his entire career would be gone and Erin would be pissed when she woke up.
Addison had gone to the hospital, too, taking all of the kids with Jo to daycare. Archie didn't go to daycare, however, choosing to stay with Bailey all day in her office because he knew she'd get a call from one of his aunts or his mom soon enough to say if he could go and visit his mama or not.
They had also not told any of the other kids anything, yet, preferring to do so when they'd gotten updates from the doctors and could give them the full picture in an age appropriate way.
The elevator beeped and they stepped off, seeing Dr. Lewis was waiting for them with a smile.
"Hey, guys, how are we doing?" she asked.
"Uh, as good as expected, I guess," Maggie said.
"Of course. Stupid question," Dr. Lewis shook her head. "Okay, well, we've just got the results of our tests back, but we can talk about that in her room so you guys can see her," Dr. Lewis said, motioning to a door down the hallway.
"How was she last night?" Maggie asked, following Dr. Lewis and the sisters towards Erin's room.
"She stayed stable. She's still on the vent, but her vitals are showing improvements, so, as soon as she starts breathing over it, we'll take her off. We're hoping for today or tomorrow," Dr. Lewis said.
The five of them stepped into Erin's room. She still had the bandage around her head and was hooked up to all of the machines, a tube down her throat to help her breathe. She was still unconscious and had barely moved since they last saw her.
Arizona headed to the seat at the side of her bed, kissing Erin's forehead three times before sitting down and taking her hand, starting to twist Erin's rings around her finger.
"So, the tests?" Maggie asked, crossing her arms over her chest as she looked at Dr. Lewis.
She, clearly, had to be the sister in control, today. Arizona had only spoken to the kids this morning, telling them that she loved them and then telling Archie she'd call Bailey with an update as soon as possible and to be good.
Amelia had said nothing to anyone and Maggie would be worried if Amelia hadn't been attached to Arizona's side all morning. Meredith wasn't any better, looking very similar to the day she did when she told them Derek was dead. Maggie was, honestly, waiting for her to collapse again, or something, but she seemed to be holding it together for right now.
"Well, we did a shotgun. Her labs are all stable, BP is good for her condition and all of her scans came back clear around the surgical sites, no excess fluid or blood around the brain, no swelling or signs of infection in the wounds, so, we're gonna keep checking, but we're confident that she'll physically recover fully from the surgeries," Dr. Lewis said.
"What about brain activity?" Maggie asked.
"There is brain activity, and her pupils are equal and reactive. Our neurosurgeon is happy with the levels, so, we believe that her brain wasn't starved of too much oxygen that's made her brain dead. Now, it's just a waiting game for her to wake up and running more tests then to see what damage has been done," Dr. Lewis said.
"Do you know when she'll wake up?" Amelia spoke up.
"Honestly?" Dr. Lewis said. "We could make guesses, but I don't know and neither does the neurosurgeon. But the brain activity and pupils being reactive is a good sign, as you all know. She's still in there," Dr. Lewis said.
"We just don't know how much of Erin is actually left," Amelia whispered, chewing on her thumb nail.
"No," Dr. Lewis said. "We don't."
"So, it's a waiting game, now," Maggie said.
"Yeah," Dr. Lewis said.
"That's okay. She took a day to wake up after Quinn, and she was out for thirty eight hours after the shooting. The accident was at, like, three, so, we're not even through the twenty four hours, yet. We've got time," Amelia said, nodding her head to reassure herself.
"Is she allowed visitors? Other than us?" Arizona said.
"Who are you thinking?" Dr. Lewis asked.
"Our kids. Our oldest, at least," Arizona said.
"Did they find out?" Dr. Lewis asked.
"He did. Overheard us all talking when we got home, begged to come and see her," Amelia said. Dr. Lewis nodded.
"Of course. I saw you with a lot of people last night, too, so they're free to visit. We have to limit it to about four or five at a time, just to coordinate with the other visitors, but they're free to come from ten until about five, and then we can have one of you stay overnight, if you want," Dr. Lewis said.
"Thank you. We'll call them and update them all, now," Maggie said.
"Of course. Press the red button for the nurse if any of you need anything and, if you need me, tell them that it's Erin Grey and they'll page me to come here," Dr. Lewis said.
"Thank you," Maggie said again.
Dr. Lewis left the room, closing the door behind her. Maggie pulled out her phone.
"Bailey first?" she said.
"Someone should go and pick Archie up, or bring him here," Amelia said.
"I'll call Bailey and she can figure out the plan. She might want to see Erin, or she can send Richard or Addison. Alex won't be able to leave the clinic, so, Jo might come, too," Maggie said, leaving the room to go and phone the others.
Amelia moved to kiss Erin's forehead, sitting on the chair beside Arizona. Arizona grabbed Amelia's hand, staring blankly down at her wife's body. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Meredith watching Maggie talk on the phone through the door window.
"Do you think she's still in there? The parts of her brain that make her Erin?" Arizona looked at Amelia. "Her eyes being reactive to the light, that could just be a reflex. We see vegetable patients blink sometimes."
"It could be, but the brain activity makes it more than just a reflex. If she was brain dead, there'd be nothing at all. Any level is good, considering the trauma her brain faced," Amelia said. "I think she's still in there. She has to be," Amelia said.
"She said she'd come back to you," Meredith said, looking at Arizona.
Arizona looked at Meredith. Arizona looked years older than she was, the stress of this accident having taken any and all of her energy and soul out of her.
"I shouldn't have argued with her. She wouldn't have gotten a cab if I didn't project my Derek issues onto her," Meredith said.
"No, you shouldn't," Arizona sighed. "But you didn't know this would happen. None of us did. It was a freak accident. It's nobody's fault. It's just what's happened, and now we have to move forward as a family. You are still a part of our family. You always will be. You just need to stick around and prove it to her," Arizona said, looking back at Erin.
She brushed her thumb over the faded scars on Erin's wrist, then traced over the three tattoos on Erin's wrist. Three sets of angel wings, each with an initial: L, M, and D. She'd gotten the M and D added after Derek's death, before they were pregnant with the twins, and had added a G, for George, on the other wrist with the Q and E for Quinn and Ellis.
The six people in Erin's life that she'd loved like family, that were her family, and that had died. Arizona had gone with her and had gotten a T for Timothy, an L and M for Mark and Lexie, and a D for Derek. She hadn't lost anyone else that was like family, but she dreaded to think of the day she'd have to add an E to the list for her wife.
"I'm here, baby," Arizona whispered, kissing Erin's hand. "I'm here. We're all here."