Eris sniffles and runs a hand through his hair, remembering the last time he had seen his precious Marina. But he can't dwell on that. She had given him another gift. One born of their love. His daughter, Gwyn.
A daughter that she had protected at all costs, respecting his wishes when he had begged her to be safe. A daughter that he is still estranged from because of his horrific father. If there is one thing he has learned through all the years he's been alive, it's that he's nothing like the man who bred him. He may put on the stone-faced, bad-guy routine outside these walls, but it takes a lot of energy to be that way. He can't understand how Beron's baseline is so bitter and destructive, so much so that it's just everyday business to him.
His thoughts drift to his mother and everything she has dealt with, being pushed to be at Beron's side. Because of him. Just another reason to loathe his own existence. She could have had a much brighter life if she had never gotten pregnant with him. A much brighter life, with her mate no less. The irony of his thoughts are not lost on him as the High Lord of the Day Court interjects his thoughts.
Knowing how he feels when he's around Mor, he knows what it's like and how difficult it is not to lose your cool when you are around your mate. Especially one you can't have.
Eris always personally thought he was more like his mother, and the contrast of their lives is startling. He had once said that Autumn males had a bad habit of impregnating their maidens during the right and so far they are four for four. Unbeknownst to him when he had mentioned that, he was one of them. One of the long-dead generals bred Marina's mother, Beron bred him, Kylon bred Marina, and he had bred Gwyn and Catrin.
As for being like his mother, they both had forbidden loves that resulted in a child. Eris is the only one in the family that has knowledge that Lucien is Helion's son. Even from when Lucien was a babe he was different. He was special. Nothing like him and their other brothers. Bred from love. It secretly kills him that Lucien does not know that, especially with how hard life has been for his baby brother too. However, it is a matter of safety from Beron, as most things in secret are.
He puts the small chest away and leans his head back on the side of his bed, looking out of his floor-to-ceiling window at the foliage on the trees. He allows himself the solace of memory once again as he thinks back to when Lucien was just a babe. Beron had a particularly mean streak, suspecting their mother had her sights on another, but he never had proof. At least not any he was knowledgeable of.
{ "Ewis!!", four-year-old Lucien squeals and runs towards his eldest brother as he enters the Forest House, coming back from emissary business. He had recently been hailed the heir when Beron and Aurelia had announced he was chosen by magic at birth during the last solstice.
Eris cringes and braces for impact as his youngest brother hauls himself into his arms, his chubby hands grabbing at the shoulders of his jacket as he picks him up quietly.
"Hello, Lucien", he replies, patting the young babe's bright red head. "Calm down, now, hm?" Eris quickly sweeps him into an adjoining room, closing the door before Beron can hear the excited giggles of 'his' youngest. Eris lets out a loud sigh as Lucien grins adorably, his body enveloped in a golden sheen of light.
One thing about Lucien's secret is that it is very hard to keep. The kid glows every time he's very excited. He's sure he and his mother have gone over a hundred and one valid excuses for why it could be happening, just in case Beron ever saw, but it's still unsettling. Even if they were preventing it at every turn.
Lucien pats his face and cuddles him cutely. "Miss you", he whimpers.
"I know. I-I missed you too." Admittedly, he did find himself missing the annoyingly grubby child when he was away. The Mother only knows he didn't miss his other siblings and their devious personas similar to Beron's.
Aurelia peeks in, sadness in her eyes. "I thought I heard him squeal."
"Yeah, I'm home."
"I'm glad you're safe."
Eris nods and pecks his mother's cheek. She hands Lucien a sippy cup with juice and he beams, taking it and greedily drinking.
"We shouldn't have to use binding magic on him. Even if it's only traces, enough to last half a day."
"You don't think I know that? I'm always worried that it will weaken him as he gets older. But I would rather have a child who is magically weak, than a child who is dead, Eris. I-...I couldn't bear that. It would break me beyond repair if I ever lost either of you. Any of you...but your brothers—", she lets out a devastated breath and looks at her hands guiltily.
"They aren't your fault. You raised us all the same. Some were bound to be corrupted by him. I suppose I just didn't expect four or five out of seven to be that way. But Lucien...he won't be like that. I can tell. He will be adventurous, caring, independent. If he ever gets the chance to get out, and you can't help, I will help him get out, Mother. You have my word. I may not be able to leave, but if he can leave and have a better chance when he's an adult, I'll make it happen. Somehow."
Aurelia tears up and hugs them both close. "I love you both."
"So do we", he replies weakly.
Lucien finishes his juice and gives the cup back to his mother, grinning adorably. "Ah done!"
She smiles. "Good boy, Luci." }
Eris lets his eyes slip closed and he hopes that one day all of the truth can be told and maybe, just maybe, he will get a second chance with his baby brother.
.
.
.
Briar laughs heartily at Thea and Elior and all their stories of Helion. They had both been his friends and lovers for centuries, and she is in awe that they are so casual about it, no strings or feelings attached.
Thea giggles. "Oh sweetie, you have much to learn about the fae. Sex is not stigmatized or a virtue as it is with humans. For most, it is mere fun. Most fae never meet their mate. Mostly because they are either dead, separated by Courts, or not a good match. So sex is mere fun to the majority. There are many who treat it more sacred, however. It is a personal preference."
Elior smirks and lounges back on the sofa, legs spread wide, his sun-kissed brown chest gleaming with the sunshine pouring through the skylights. "As for me, I have no preferences for the company I keep. Pleasure is pleasure", he grins charmingly.
Thea rolls her eyes and smacks his chest jokingly. "You're not seriously flirting with our guest, are you? She was human Eli, I don't think its the most comfortable conversation for her anyway."
He shrugs and grins devilishly again. "Well, the offer always stands, Lady Briar."
"I'm sure it does", she chuckles. "Is Helion on business today?"
Thea and Elior exchange a glance and Thea speaks up. "No, he's just...having a bad day."
"That's cryptic."
"There are things most of the Court doesn't know and we are not at liberty to tell. But he will probably be out for dinner later. Don't fuss about it, he'll be fine."
Briar nods slowly and bites her lip.
.
.
.
Helion heaves a breath and looks out at the sea, his feet dipped into the water slightly. Today was the day his brother was killed. Tilion, Helion's twin brother and the originally and magically chosen High Lord of the Day Court was one of the leaders of the rebellion against Amarantha forty-three years ago, along with Tarquin's cousin and previous High Lord of Summer, Nostrus, and Kallias's father and the previous High Lord of Winter, Eirwen.
He had sent letters of remembrance to their Courts on this day as he had every year, thinking of their families. His brother was honorable, kind, gratuitous, and protective. He always used to joke about being born two minutes before Helion, and ultimately, though their power was matched, that's why Tilion was appointed High Lord of the Day Court when the previous was killed. Helion was the spare, and as much as he has enjoyed being High Lord, he would trade it all for his brother back. Waving his hand, he sends a beam of light shooting across the sea, causing a rainbow.
"Rest in peace, brother", he murmurs softly. "I hope you and Lucilia are as happy in the next life as I had wished to be in this one."
His mind wanders to Aurelia, the Lady of Autumn, and his heart aches, the mate bond tugs at him weakly, malnourished and discarded for centuries. As he walks along the beach, he can't help but close his eyes, honing in on it and tugging on the invisible string that connects their hearts, hoping she feels it. Within moments he feels one back and can't help the blooming smile that comes to his face.
He remembers the day all those centuries ago that he had met her. His brother and his mate, Aurelia's twin sister no less, had convinced them to meet. Helion was hesitant because Lucilia had told him that the High Lord of the Autumn Court had his eyes on her after she had been his chosen maiden during the Rite. He was a newer High Lord at the time, and Helion wouldn't be for hundreds of years later.
{ Aurelia bounces around on her feet excitedly as she grasps Tilion's bicep in glee. "She's finally coming to visit! She's finally coming, I can't wait!! Ugh, Helion you two are going to get on so well. Just remember to keep the dirty jokes to yourself, and please please make a good impression. My sister is not as enthusiastic and outgoing as I am. She's more reserved and proper."
Tilion snorts and presses a kiss to his mate's cheek. To think, he never would have met this energetic, adventurous embodiment of joy had she not had a good friend in Dawn that she was visiting that fated day. Lucilia had left her friend's home for some air, wandering towards the border of day, her ever-growing curiosity of all things getting the better of her with what the Court of Sunshine looked like. Just a glimpse, she had said she told herself. Luckily for him, he was just as risk-oriented and often wandered near the border looking for small dangers for an adrenaline rush. It just so happened that the two came upon each other and locked eyes. That was the beginning of their life together. Of course, when the time to perform Rites came soon after, they had performed it together...extremely well.
Helion rolls his eyes. "I always make a good impression. And I am the tamer one of the two of us", he smirks, elbowing Tilion in the gut.
He grunts and shoves him playfully. "Watch it, brother, you don't want to talk down to your High Lord", he brags.
"Oh, fuck off", Helion laughs.
Lucilia giggles. "Don't use your title against your brother, love. It's unbecoming. You are matched in power as me and my sister are. Regardless of us being High Lord and Lady."
"Your parents seemed to have thought it made a difference. Why do you think they are hoping Beron Vanserra claims your sister? So that both twins will be Ladies. Equal in power and position, and double the reputation for them to have sired you."
"Well, I think love is much more important than title. I know my sister feels that way too. I'm just worried. Since Aurelia is the older twin, she feels some sense of duty to them. She always has. She isn't a risk-taker like I am and I worry for her."
"I'm sure she will make the right choice for herself", Tilion says encouragingly. "Now, let's go greet her shall we?", I hear the Pegasi approaching.
Lucilia beams. "Oh, I bet she loved that. Helion, come", she holds out her free hand.
He takes a breath and nods, squeezing her hand before following them to the main lobby of the palace. Tilion sits on the dais with Lucilia on his knee, both of the grinning ear to ear as an identical redhead to Luci approaches timidly, her hands clasped together.
Helion stands to the other side of his brother, bowing in welcome.
Luci squeals and hops off of Tilion, rushing over and nearly tackling her sister in a hug, the other one chuckling lightly as she hugs back. "Luci."
"Aure! I can't believe you're finally here. I've missed you."
"I missed you too. Wow...", she looks around at the giant palace and all the gold glimmering around it. "You've certainly made a name for yourself."
"I have. Lady of the Day Court suits me, doesn't it?"
Aurelia smiles softly. "It seems it does."
"Sis, I want to introduce you to my mate, Tilion, and his twin brother, Helion."
She greets the High Lord with a soft bow and then does the same to Helion. He barks a laugh in reply.
"Oh, please. No need to bow milady, I am not as self-absorbed as my twin over there. I am not High Lord."
"Thank gods for that", Tilion mutters softly. "You have perpetual foot-in-mouth syndrome."
Helion flashes his teeth at him and turns back to the beautiful redhead in front of him. She was definitely identical to her sister, but there was something in her features that made her more appealing to him than Lucilia. Aside from being available, as he was.
"I hope you enjoyed your ride on Meallan. He's our best Pegasus. Flies the smoothest."
"It was fascinating. The fly was unlike anything I'd ever experienced."
"I'm glad to hear that."
Aurelia looks at Lucilia and then back to Helion. "I assume you have forgotten. But we have met before."
Helion furrows his brow. "Oh?"
"Nearly a year ago. The equinox ball. I spilled my punch, and you soaked it up off my dress with your magic. I know it was you and not your brother since you have a small freckle near your left eye."
Helion's face splits into a grin. "Yes! I do remember. I turned to get your name and I couldn't find you in the crowd. I was hoping for a dance."
"Maybe next time", she teases.
Lucilia smirks and looks at Tilion. "We will leave you two be for a bit."
"Helion, why don't you show Aurelia to her room?"
He nods at his brother and takes her bags and her arm as the High couple goes in the other direction towards their quarters.
"I apologize for forgetting you. I usually never forget a beautiful face such as yours."
"I don't know whether that's flattering or insulting that I'm easily forgettable."
"Oh, no! That's—That's not—"
She chuckles. "I'm only teasing. It's alright. There were many, many people there."
"There were."
"It was actually the night before my and Lucilia's birthday. So my parents were showing us off to all the prominent families. Probably hoping for marriage proposals."
"Happy belated birthday. If you don't mind...you and your sister do look young. Not that my brother and I are old, but, you know. Fae lifetimes."
"We turned twenty."
"Twenty. Wow..."
She smirks. "There are fae who see us as the adults we are, and then there are some who see us as children due to their long lifespans. Which are you?"
Helion chuckles. "The former. My brother and I are not much older than you actually. We just look older. It's our broad and muscular figures", he laughs and flexes.
Aurelia laughs and it's like music to his ears. "You are?"
"We are twenty-six."
"That's refreshing to hear. Most of the families that are eager to marry off their sons to us have been around for at least a century now."
Helion snorts. "Like Vanserra?"
Her face pales a bit. "Yes", she says flatly.
Feeling the mood shift, he sets her bags down in her room and places a hand on her shoulder. "You can talk to me. If you need to. There's no pressure. But I can tell whatever happened did not make you very happy."
Aurelia sighs heavily. "Beron took over as High Lord about fifty years ago. As we are fae, I know lifespans don't matter, and he is a good enough male. At least what I've seen of him."
"But?"
"But there wasn't any...sparks."
"Sparks? That's ironic considering Autumn Court magic."
A small smile graces her lips. "No, I mean...chemistry. He was polite enough. And then last month was the Rite...and I was chosen by magic to be his maiden. And of course, while intoxicated with the magic of the lands everything is different, heightened...needy."
"Mhmm", he nods knowingly. "And now?"
"Now, I still feel the same way. But I think he is going to ask my father for my hand. And I saw how thrilled they were when my sister married your brother because he was a High Lord. They'll want me to marry him."
"I see. And you don't want that?"
"No. Not really. I want to find someone of my own. Someone I can fall for and love. Lucilia was lucky she got everything she ever dreamed of, and it worked in her favor and my parent's."
"I think you should live your life the way you choose to, Aurelia. I know that you feel pressure from your family. But, isn't your happiness more important?"
"Either way, I can't win. If I don't make them proud, they will get upset. Maybe even take drastic measures and force the marriage anyway. They are a part of the nobility and they want to stay that way. They can't have a wayward daughter."
"Isn't two out of three better than nothing?"
She crinkles her brow in confusion.
"Lucilia told me you have a younger sister as well."
"Ah, yes, well...Nora is only seventeen at the moment. Lucky for her, she wishes of marrying into a higher rank. But I don't care about rank."
"I'm sorry. Females should not have all this undue pressure placed upon them. They are not prized possessions, they are individuals with their own feelings, wants, needs, desires. They are equal to males in every way that matters, and yet society hasn't learned so quite yet."
She looks up at him, her bright russet eyes seeming to pierce through his soul in wonder. "You are an honorable male, Helion."
He blushes slightly and inclines his head politely. "Thank you. So tell me. What is it like being the older twin? Because I'm the younger one", he laughs.
Aurelia grins and bites her lip. "You've met Lucilia. I'm sure you can imagine the responsibility I was forced into, just trying to keep her from accidentally killing herself on her adventures."
"Funny enough, I used to have to do the same with Tilion. Although we are pretty matched in recklessness at times."
"I'm sure your mother had a lovely time with you two growing up. Helion guffaws and grins. "We were total blessings, I swear."
She giggles and begins to unpack her clothing, placing them in dedicated drawers for the week. "I think we will have a lovely week, Helion."
"I hope to show you that we will. I'm eager to show you around, Not only the palace but the Court too. Maybe we can go for a swim sometime as well."
"That sounds lovely."
"As are you", he bows.
A red flush comes to her cheeks, pairing nicely with her scent of crisp apples. }
As the memory slips away, his smile falters. He had such high hopes that week. By the end, they were more than flirty, and he was falling for her just as much as he believed her to be falling for him. When her parents did ultimately pressure her into marrying Beron, she did so as a dutiful daughter. She bred six sons with him to Helion's dismay.
During one of Lucilia's visits to Autumn, Hybern attacked there. Aurelia was with her sisters at the time and Lucilia had forced her to run, grabbing Nora as they ran the opposite way. The beasts chose a two-for-one and mauled her sisters to death. Feeling the pain and grief through the bond from her, he moved faster than he could think, tearing down the wards with his spell-cleaving magic and winnowing into the Autumn Court. There she had stood, cornered by the beasts until he distracted them. In a lucky streak during his adrenaline rush, he had grabbed her and winnowed back to the Day Court.
Overcome by fear, grief, and strife, they had made love passionately and needily the entire night until their nerves were sated. Helion held her through the dark hours as she cried for her lost sisters.
Tilion was an utter wreck for a very long time, and even centuries later, Lucilia's death was the main reason for him leading the rebellion against Amarantha, Hybern's most trusted general. The Summer and Winter Court had suffered losses at the hands of Hybern as well and wanted to kill Amarantha in revenge against him. What others saw as foolish, Helion saw as a show of strength. They knew they were small in number, but powerful as High Lords. However, that was not enough as they believed and all three were struck down by her before they could plan out their attack. Nobody in any of the three courts knew who the infiltrated snitch was, so they all lived in fear for centuries.
During this time, Helion and Aurelia had been meeting in secret, having an on-again, off-again affair. When Beron began to raise suspicions, Aurelia cut ties with him again. She said it was for his safety and hers, as Beron had become one of the most ruthless High Lords in Prythian.
It wasn't until a year or so later that he heard the Vanserras had bore a seventh son and named him Lucien after Lucilia. Something in Helion's chest imploded at the notion that just maybe the child may be his, but that theory was quickly squashed down when he realized the implications that not only the child and Aurelia would face if that had been true, but that Beron could easily incite a war between their courts for such indiscretions. Even so, he had always kept a small place in his heart for the child with secret hopes, which dwindled over the centuries.
Four centuries later, when Amarantha decided to make her grand gesture after Tamlin had rejected her and the curse was put into place, the High Courts were taken Under the Mountain. Things seemed the bleakest as they ever had been for Prythian. Especially when the slayings began with every small indiscretion. Even more so when they very quickly realized that Rhysand, the High Lord with the power to mist them into non-existence, was working for her instead of against her.
When Helion had to watch Lucien get thrown into one of Feyre's trials and then lashed for helping out, he nearly burst from his skin to save him against all his better judgment, despite knowing he could handle it, as he had every other horror done to him. He was infuriated; by the treatment of the youngest Vanserra, the tears in Aurelia's eyes, and the utter nonchalance on Beron's face, as if he couldn't care.
Then again, a couple of centuries prior, he had heard about Lucien's relocation and what Beron had done to the female he had fallen for, driving him out of his home and into Spring, a target on his back by his own damn father. Then came the attacks on him from his brothers, the loss of his eye at the hand of Amarantha, and the weight of helping to find a cure, Feyre, for the curse. The injustice that had been done to this young male, this decent, genuine, kind, and -possibly his- young male over the years was almost too much to bear.
His friend and fellow High Lord, Tarquin, had suffered a second loss. This time Brutius, another cousin and one of his Lords. Rhysand had melted his mind and turned him into a sopping husk for daring to find an escape route, on Amarantha's command.
Helion sighs deeply and kicks some pebbles into the sea, all the bad in this world muddling into normalcy, and that simply shouldn't be. He should have fought harder for Aurelia back when she was deciding between him and Beron. He should have protected her, and he should have changed the course of these horrible lives. As horrible as most of her sons are, he knows that Lucien is an honorable male. And from the contact he has had with him and how he was protective of his mother Under the Mountain, and at the High Lord meeting, Eris isn't too terrible either. At least she has gotten those two rays of light out of her horrific situation.
If only he had known back then what he knows now. Looking up at the colorful dusk sky as day fades into night, he can't help but smile softly. Those were the colors of his mate. The fiery reds, oranges, pinks, and yellows, brightening up the sky before nightfall overcomes it. She is a 'golden one', indeed.