~ Nick Levine ~
"Hey, love" I say and she steps aside, letting me into the apartment. I placed the bag with the stuff I brought her on the counter.
We sat down and I noticed that she sat kind of far from me. I frowned a little and scooted closer to her. She let out a sigh and I reached out to hold her hand.
She seemed surprised but happy and when our fingers intertwined, I smiled before completely turning to her.
"I'm sorry, love" I say
"Oh. For what?" she asks sarcastically, and I can tell she's a little annoyed.
"I was being a dick, I didn't know how to act and I was being stupid. I shouldn't have been so dry and distant with you." I explained
"Why were you acting like that?" she asks me and scoots closer to me. I smile before continuing
"I just thought-" I paused again "I didn't want you to see me that upset. I didn't want you to think I was mad at you. Mostly, I didn't want you to blame yourself for what happened"
She sucked in a deep breath. The memory of being told the baby didn't make it was clearly still too fresh in her head and it was in mine too but we needed to talk about it if we wanted to get through it.
"But why" she started hesitantly "Why'd you think that acting distant would help?"
"I didn't want you to see me upset about it because I thought you would feel bad so if I was distant, maybe you wouldn't be able to tell" I said and then she turned to me completely
"Pumpkin" she started, which made my heart start pounding. I loved when she called me that. I knew she did it just to tease me but I didn't care. She stood up, taking my hands in hers and pulled me up with her. The height difference made it so I was basically hovering over her.
She cupped my face and made sure I was looking right at her - as if I could resist - and then continued "You don't have to hide your emotions from me" My face softened and I placed my hands on her hips and rested them there "If you're upset about what happened, I want to know about it. I want to be the one there to help you. I want you to come to me. But to be able to do that, you have to talk to me. And I already knew you were upset, you suck at hiding it"
She said the last part sarcastically and with a smile which made me chuckle. "Well we can't be good at everything" I say and she laughs before rolling her eyes jokingly
"You're like really bad at it thought. Like bad. Like you pretending to be okay made you seem more-"
"Okay, I get it" I say and she laughs
"I want you to be able to talk to me. I don't want you to think you have to be a tough guy all the time because you don't. I know you are that way with Brett and everybody else and everyone thinks you're an asshole guy, but you can't just be that all the time. You have to let yourself actually feel something every once in a while." she says softly while stroking my cheek and wiping away a tear that I didn't even know had left my eye.
Here was this absolutely perfect, amazing, beautiful, loving, caring girl in front of me and I almost fucked it all up because I didn't want her to think I was upset. I found my person. Someone I could be myself around whenever and she wouldn't judge me. Someone that I could love that I know wouldn't hurt me.
She could ruin me. She could absolutely destroy me and break my heart if she left but I knew she wouldn't. Fuck, I'm so goddamn in love with her. How could I ever even think of jeopardizing this? Anyone who would is fucking insane, I hate the thought of just losing this. Losing her.
I gripped her waist and hid my face in her neck. She brought her arms around my neck and I let out a long sigh. "Fuck, I love you" I whispered. My eyes widened when I realized what I had just said. She froze and I backed up, pulling my head out of her neck. "I didn't- You don't have to-"
She cupped my face again, a smile spread across her face and her eyes had tears in them. "I love you too" she said and stood on her tippy toes to press a kiss to my cheek. I had my hand on her lower back and pulled her even closer. And when my head turned so my lips brushed against hers, it turned into the most heartwarming kiss ever.
She giggled when I picked her up off the ground and started peppering kisses all over her face. Then again when I set her down on the couch so she was laying down and I was hovering over her. I placed butterfly kisses all over her face and on her neck. "Say it again" I said
"I love you"
"Again."
"I love you, Nick Levine"
"I love you too, my love" I said and she smiled widely.
Hours of talking about the accident consisted of both of us crying, holding each other, and then eventually calming down. And in the end, everything was fine.
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idk what to say anymore. I wanted the chapter to be longer but i don't know what else to put and i've been sick for a while now so i feel like shit
anyways, bye. love ya!
-liz <333