DEAR, EX
ENOUGH FOR YOU olivia rodrigo
trust.
what is trust?
a lot of people say trust is the concept of loving somebody. a friend. a family member. a partner.
for scarlett wheeler, trust is bullshit. nothing but bullshit. because she trusted someone. and because of that, tears are rolling down her cheeks and sobs are hastily escaping from her lips as her hands are gripping the steering wheel tighter and tighter.
her phone is buzzing. she's been counting every notification. 26 texts, 7 calls. she doesn't answer, doesn't even look because she knows who their from.
driving while your vision is blurry at 7pm isn't how scar pictures her christmas eve. she thought she'd be spending time with chris. her situationship.
she never thought about if her and chris were dating. but she thought it was something. she would've never done this to him. she would've never kissed someone else, especially not his ex best friend. she thought what they had was fit for loyalty.
by the time she reaches her destination, she grabs her phone and checks the messages.
every single text from chris, she ignored. there was a text from liam, jade, nick, and matt each, asking why she ran out. and there's a text from maia.
maia : yall arent even dating😂.
scarlett angrily shuts off her phone and shoves it into her pocket, then opens her car door and approaches the doorstep of the house she's at.
as she knocks, the anger dissipates and fades into sadness again.
another tear falls as the door opens. chase is looking down at scarlett with a worried expression, and she ultimately hugs him.
he returns the affectionate embrace, his hand resting on the small of her back and his other hand holding her head.
"hey," he gently pulls away, cupping her face in his hands. he uses his thumb to wipe the tears away, and she lightly grips onto his wrists. "come in, okay?"
she nods and he moves his hand to her back again, guiding her inside, using his other one to shut the door behind him.
chase leads her into his room and pulls her to sit on the side of his bed. he wraps an arm around her, and she leans his head on his shoulder. "i'm sorry." she whispers, and he begins to rub his arm with his hand. "i should've stayed with you. you were right."
scarlett knows he wasn't right. he wasn't right when he said that he's all she needs. and she feels horrible for treating chase as a rebound, despite what he did to her, but she needed comfort.
and for some reason, she chose him.
as much as she'd rather be in chris' arms right now, as he tells her that she kissed him, and that scar had just walked in at the wrong time, she knows it could never. the way he looked at her. the way he was holding her. it meant something. it had to.
"what'd he do?" chase asks, his voice shockingly soothing and calming to scarlett. he rests his hand on hers, then intertwines their fingers together.
"i saw him kissing maia."
"your ex best friend?" he tilts his head.
scarlett nods. chase sighs, then pulls her fully on the bed and just hugs her. "i'm so sorry, scar."
the nickname hurts her. but she silently allows the tears to fall as she also allows the same man who hurt her mentally and physically to hold her. anything to escape the pain of what chris did.
though chase's actions are far more inexcusable, scarlett feels more pain for chris. she feels like she's mourning a death. the death of what could've been.
and she already misses him. it's not the type of miss where your boyfriend went to vacation or got grounded and you could hardly speak to him. it's the ache in your heart during the aftermath of the burst of the emotions when you figured out. when you lose him, and realize what you had will never return. no matter how hard you try. no matter how much you want it.
and scarlett wants chris. more than anything.
chris continues to call and text her. scarlett. text me back. answer my calls. it didn't mean anything. it was her fault.
"she won't answer you," maia sighs. "she's stubborn."
"this is all your fault." chris shakes his head, refusing to look maia in the eyes.
just ten minutes ago, maia was sobbing. making up bullshit about her dead dog. chris was hugging her, he was hugging his friend, who he thought was mourning her fucking dog. her stupid fucking dog.
and the second that she heard footsteps crescendo, she pressed her lips against his.
the moment he pulled away from her and saw scarlett running is when he knew it was over. he chased her, he tried. but her car was gone before he could make it through the crowd of people. he was standing on the sidewalk like an idiot, calling her, and running his hand through his hair.
maia had approached him, and was quiet. watched as his eyebrows furrowed and a few tears fell, tears of frustration and regret, and how he continued to look up to blink the tears away and run his hand through his hair when he pressed his phone to his ear while calling her.
and when maia showed chris that she read her text, but chris was still on delivered, he knew it was over. he knew that what could've been was fucking ruined. "why the fuck did you do that, maia?" he turns to her. she says nothing. "why would you do that?"
"scarlett won't let you go." she shakes her head. "and i've given her a reason to."
"i hate you." chris says.
her lip trembles. maia debates saying so many things. scarlett hates you, too, or well, i love you. but she doesn't. "i don't care." is all she tells him before turning around and going back to the party.
the next morning, the morning of christmas, chris felt like shit.
he went downstairs, since nick pulled him. "i don't know what happened last night," nick says. "but it couldn't have been so bad to ruin christmas."
"it was fucking horrible, nick." chris says tiredly, rubbing his eyes. "coulda ruined anything for me."
"chris!" mary lou walks into the living room. "you woke up late. you're usually up like the sun on christmas. but, here. matt told me to give this to you. he says he got it from a girl."
chris looks at what his mom is offering him. an envelope. he takes it in hand, and looks on the back, but there's no writing. so he opens it up, and pulls out the contents.
a letter.
dear, ex november 24th, 2020
it's been so long without you. a long time. six months.
i hate this. the attention. i hate chase. i hate dante and his stupid parties. and i know i should hate you, but i don't. i think i love you. i miss you. i really do.
it's hard without you. and maia. and nick and matt. i remember what we used to do. the bracelets we used to make. the books you'd give me. it's not the same without you, nothing is. and nothing is the same with chase. i don't feel for him how i felt for you, how i still feel for you. hell, i don't feel for him at all.
i'd do so much to get you back.
part 2 december 24, 2020
i know you must have an explanation. a reason. you always do, chris. but i'm not ready to hear it. i'm not sure if i'd believe anything that falls out of your mouth right now. if you told me you loved me, i wouldn't believe. yet i'd still say it back.
seeing you with maia out of all people hurt me. i know we weren't official. but i thought what we had really meant something to you.
and, yes, i'd still go through hell to get you back.
love,
ex.