Michael Simmons: But just remember: a woman's like a rose; if you treat her right, she'll bloom, if you don't, she'll wilt.
Caleb Holt: Where'd you get that?
Michael Simmons: Counseling.
Caleb Holt: Marriage isn't fireproof.
Michael Simmons: Fireproof doesn't mean the fire will never come. It means when the fire comes that you will be able to withstand it.
Michael Simmons: The sad part about it is, when most people promise for better or for worse, they really only mean for the better.
Mr. Rudolph: Don't speak to him, Erma. He's weird.
Erma Rudolph: Takes one to know one.
Caleb Holt: If there's a God out there somewhere, he's not interested in me and my problems.
John Holt: I disagree. I'd say he's very interested.
Caleb Holt: Then where's he been in my life?
John Holt: I'd say he's been at work all around you. You just haven't realized it. You haven't exactly given him an open invitation.
Caleb Holt: You never leave your partner! Especially in a fire!