Content warning: pregnancy of secondary character.
NATALIA
Everything felt different.
I was home, but it didn't resemble my home anymore. Or, at least, not the home I knew up until my dad died.
On the outside, the old Windcrest mansion looked the same after I stepped through the portal and arrived at the estate. The memories, the pain from my childhood, were still there as I looked on.
Yet, the Windfire tribe was a much happier, thriving place than the Windcrest pack ever was under my father's leadership. He ruled through fear and intimidation, expecting everyone to obey and serve him, even his own children, preaching of wolf shifter superiority over all other shifter kinds. What I was seeing while I took in the new tribe house was the exact opposite, even if the building was visibly the same. There was laughter everywhere, joy. Shifters proud to be part of this mixed community.
No, this was certainly not the home I knew, and I was happy about it.
My brother was here, and so were Aiden and Riley. They were my family, and the mixed wolf-dragon tribe that they led as Alpha triad ever since they merged my old pack with Aidan's Fire Dragons clan was where I still belonged.
"Ready to take you to your room?" Rafe asked as he grabbed my suitcase.
"Really? You might be the boss around this place, brother, but I still grew up here- I can definitely find my way to my old room." Sparks of doubt flickered around my brain. "That's if I still have my old room."
I paused, realising that there was a very real possibility that this was no longer the case. The tribe was growing, and so was my brother's family- they needed all the rooms that this mansion had. "I know I have been in Izaver for the past three years, so it's understandable if you have given it away."
"Oh, please- you know that we would never do that, Nat." My sister-in-law's voice made me turn around to see her walking towards us with Aiden, my niece Maggie running excitedly behind them. That kid was my favourite person in the world, which said a lot because I absolutely adored Rafe and his triad.
"Look at you, gorgeous mama." I threw my arms around Riley, my hand instinctively landing on her bump once I let her go. My future niece or nephew rewarded me with a gentle kick, which only made me more excited about meeting him or her in the coming months. "How did my brother get so lucky with such a beautiful mate?"
"Oh, he is a pain in the arse sometimes, but he is not too bad himself." She beamed with joy, giving Rafe a kiss on the cheek.
"Well, good thing that he has you and Aiden to knock some sense into him. Can't say that I miss having that role." I stuck my tongue out at my brother, who was rolling his eyes at our jabs. He loved it, really.
Aiden pulled me in for a hug. "It's so good to have you back, Nat."
We were not related by blood, but as Rafe's best friend, he had always been like an older brother to me, despite not being part of our wolf pack. Even before they became part of the same triad, Rafe and Aiden were proof that different shifters kinds could work together and be friends-a belief that the three of them had been promoting in the shifter world ever since they became co-Alphas of a mixed shifter tribe, the first of its kind. The example they set was sending ripples of change throughout the shifter world, and I couldn't be prouder.
"Izaver was great, but I am so happy to be closer to all of you again," I noted as I picked my niece up in my arms. "Especially this little miss. Have you been behaving, Maggie?"
The groans I heard from her parents told me everything I needed to know, but my niece gave me her widest smile, undeterred by the others. "Always, Nat Nat."
"This little miss," Riley gently pinched Maggie's chubby cheeks, "has realised that she can get away with everything she wants whenever she is with her grandparents, especially ever since your mum got her memory back. And it doesn't help that she has her dads wrapped around her finger, right boys?"
"What? That's so not true," Rafe and Aiden objected in unison, although Riley was unconvinced, flicking both brows up at them.
"Sure." My sister-in-law shook her head. "Ask them what they did when Maggie requested ice-cream right before going to bed."
My eyes darted between my brother and Aiden, both of them refusing to meet my gaze.
"Come on, boys." Riley pinned her crossed arms above her bump, waiting for her mates to confess, yet neither of them dared to speak. "Tell Nat how Aiden flew you both to the late-night gelato shop in Glasgow to get your toddler a tub of strawberry ice-cream."
"In our defence," Aiden protested, "your parents set the bar pretty high when they portaled to Florence with Maggie so that she could have the best gelato in the world."
"That's what I tried to say as well," my brother chimed in.
It was pretty hilarious to watch these two tough Alphas explain themselves to their mate. As much as they liked to growl and protest, they turned into gooey cinnamon rolls around Riley and their daughter, which was pretty cute.
I loved how much they adored their family, even if seeing the strength of their mate bonds only reminded me of the fading words written on the inside of my wrist. Words that were meant to bring me joy, yet every day that I did not get to hear them and meet my mate brought me closer to losing hope.
"You see what I have to deal with?" Riley's words brought me back to the present. "Anyway, enough chit-chatting. Michelle has been waiting for you all day long."
My mother's presence here was yet another reminder of how different things were now. I spent most of my life thinking that she was dead-we all did.
But then we found her-working for the demon who tried to destroy the shifter world. Even worse, her memory of us and her life before was gone. And while Riley and the boys destroyed Markolf and saved us all, my mum's amnesia remained.
Helping her get on with her life, not being able to tell her who we all really were to her, was just as painful as growing up without her. Because even though she was back in our lives, she thought of us simply as Riley's friends.
"How has she been doing?"
"Great." My brother gave me one of those smiles that he only gave whenever he was truly happy. Which, to be honest, happened a lot whenever he was with his family. "She has been remembering more and more ever since Maggie's birthday. And everyone here has been fantastic- the old Windcrest wolves have been spending time with her, telling her about the pack life back then, while all the new tribes members have been doing their best to make her feel at home in the new environment."
It wasn't easy to ask what I was about to, but I needed to know. "Have you talked to her about what happened to dad?"
"We did. I told her the truth- what a bastard he was to the pack and to us, how he betrayed her in the name of his screwed up greater good idea and how he hurt my Riley's family." Rafe swallowed hard. "How I had to kill him to stop him."
So much time had passed since that day and it was still no easier for Rafe to talk about it, despite all the pain and damage our dad has caused us. His words to us, as he attacked my brother, were still ingrained in my mind. Embarrassments, unworthy of carrying the Macalister name-that's what he called us. My brother- because he didn't follow my dad's beliefs for wolf shifter domination. And me? Because I was an Omega wolf.
Or, as he used to call it, a weakling.
My empath abilities were a humiliation to him, the man who believed that feelings made you weak and useless. It took me three years in Izaver, learning from the wise elders there, to finally overcome the guilt and shame over my nature and to embrace what I was able to do-help others. Calm them. Bring peace to their troubled souls, even if only for a little while.
But the scars I carried inside me were still there to remind me of wounds, the legacy of Angus Macalister.
"She took it better than expected." Riley wrapped her arms around my brother as she continued on his behalf, "but she blames herself for the suffering you both endured, even if she knows that there was nothing she could have done."
It was incredible how my dad was still able to cause so much hurt, even when he was no longer with us. I loved him, I did-he was my father, after all. The only parent I knew while I was growing up. And yet, as much as my heart shattered when Rafe was forced to end him after our father attacked him-despite my brother sparing his life moments earlier- there was also relief that he was gone, and with that came also a whole lot of guilt.
Someone cleared their throat, and it was only then that I realised how the mood has shifted between us all.
"Maybe we should let Natalia rest before we go into these heavy conversations. And it's for her and Michelle to talk this through, don't you think, Rafe?" Aiden was always the voice of reason, the perfect calm to balance Rafe's impulsiveness and Riley's strong spirit.
As much as I appreciated his consideration, it also reminded me of how everyone always thought that they needed to skirt around difficult topics to protect me. Like I was the weakling that my father believed me to be. They didn't realise that the memories that lived inside my head or the nightmares that plagued me most nights were worse than any conversation that we could have.
Yet, this was neither the time nor the place to dwell on those.
"I want to show Nat Nat my toys," Maggie insisted as she grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the tribe house.
"The queen has spoken," I giggled, following her inside.
The whole place was bursting with life, laughter and cheerfulness sprinkled in the air. I had no doubt in my mind that the tribe was satisfied with how Rafe, Riley and Aiden ran things around Windfire.
We made our way through the lounge rather slowly because people were constantly stopping us to either greet Maggie or welcome me back. All the warm embraces and kind words made me feel at home again, but they also left me overwhelmed and anxious. Embracing my Omega gift meant also constantly exposing myself to all the emotions that a room full of people was packed with. That was why I preferred being on my own or surrounded by fewer people.
"Are you okay, Nat?" my sister-in-law asked, the concern in her voice clear. "You suddenly look very pale."
I didn't want to worry her, not in her state. "I'm fine. Just a little tired. Plus, I am still getting the hang of controlling my abilities."
Which was true.
I had been learning and practising in Izaver, but I rarely had the opportunity to test my control in such busy settings, not since I unlocked everything. Luckily for me, that was not yet the case at Rafe, Riley and Aiden's official mating ceremony. As beautiful and emotional as the event was, I was relieved that my abilities were still suppressed then, and that my emotions and feelings were the only ones I could experience that day.
"I'm just going to head with Maggie to her room..." But when I turned around to look for my niece, all I saw was her bright yellow dress through the crowd as she ran up to her friends to play.
I didn't know whether to laugh or be offended that Maggie abandoned me without even batting an eyelid.
"Don't take it personal." Riley snickered under her breath. "Her attention span is not her strongest point- she loves you one minute, doesn't care about you the next one. I swear, it's like I have a teenager at home, mood swings and all, but she is only two."
Now it was my turn to burst into laughter. "You know, I am pretty sure that Rafe and Aiden are overjoyed that she is no teenager yet, because I think their worst nightmare is Maggie being old enough to be interested in boys and vice versa."
"You've got a point there. Anyway, go and rest, my dear. Your things should already be in the room and we can go for a girls-only walk with your mum and Maggie later. There is a new cafe down by the loch's shore near Luss-I promise you, they make the best carrot cake ever, trust me."
I burst into a laugh. Riley was practically drooling as she talked about that cake. "Is that what you have been craving lately?"
"Yes. No... maybe? I swear, pregnancy symptoms are in full force this time around. I barely even realised I was pregnant with Maggie, but this one is making his or her presence known."
I was surprised to hear that she still didn't know what she was expecting. Riley always needed to get her hands on all relevant information because it allowed her to feel more in control, more prepared, and she was most definitely not a very patient person. "You still don't know what it's going to be?"
"No." Her exasperated groan made it clear how she felt about it. "The boys want it to be a surprise," she added right as her stomach grumbled. "That's my cue for a snack. I'll come find you later, okay?"
I watched her as she walked through all the gathered people and headed for the kitchen. And as she did, all those overwhelming emotions came right back.
Talking to Riley, focusing on her, allowed me to block them- something that I needed to work more on, right after I got out of here first.
With a few quick steps, I moved across the room to the staircase towards my family's wing. My breathing was still heavy, my mind buzzing with all the feelings I could sense.
And then I heard it.
The voice that had been haunting me whenever I closed my eyes. The one that kept my monsters away, my anchor during my nightmares. Because every time I had that horrible dream of screaming shifters as they agonised while their animal spirits were taken away by them, it was that voice that always steadied me.
A handful of words was all it ever said, yet those words made me feel protected, making sure that the monsters could never harm me.
Shhh, little wolf. It's okay-you are safe.
My eyes snapped open, but I was alone at the top of the stairs, no one else in sight. Only the cheerful voices coming from the floor below.
Except, my breathing was normal now that peace and calm had settled inside me again.
I wanted to close my eyes, to hear it again, to feel the serenity only it could bring. It had been my one constant over the past three years, helping me whenever I couldn't help myself.
"Nat! Sweetheart." This time it was my mother who spoke to me, her voice very much real as she rushed towards me.
I ran to her, even if my thoughts were still occupied by the voice in my dreams. It was okay though. I knew he was going to be back later-he always was.
Until then, my guardian angel.
*********
Woop woop, Nat is back!
I don't know about you, but I am so happy to have a glimpse into the life of our favourite triad as well. I've been missing those three.
What did you think about that family moment?
And who knew that our poor girl had so much pain to deal with? 😭
Looks like she might not remember someone (SaO SPOILER, if you haven't read it yet: thanks for that, Rafe!) but her mind is giving her clues... I can't wait to hear your theories about how that might turn out.
FYI, if you are confused about Izaver, I posted on my wall a few weeks ago about having to remove the crossover chapters for SaO when I joined the Wattpad Creators programme, so those chapters have now been rewritten and Talamaire is now Izaver. 😊
Are you ready for present day James next? You might be surprised what he is like now. 😬
Don't forget to comment and vote if you are enjoying the chapters so far so that I know whether I am on the right track.😉
Love,
Iveto