"What do you think they are doing?", Rhaenyra asked with a frown.
She was laying on the floor with open arms in front of the fireplace. Her head was spinning and she felt like throwing up, but the wine cup was still near her.
"Fighting?", Alicent suggested. She was sitting on the couch with only her satin robes. Her feet were under her and she was holding the wine bottle, trying to focus her view but failing.
"Why would they fight?"
"I don't know.", she shrugged. "Men?"
"Eh, good enough.", Rhaenyra shrugged too. After a few moments of silence, she continued. "But how they are hiding the marks?"
"What marks?"
"The fighting marks?"
"What fighting?"
Rhaenyra frowned again and tried to rise in her elbows, sending a look to Alicent. "Are you drunk Allie?"
"What? Me?", she snorted. "Of course not. But you might Nyra, you are talking nonsense."
Rhaenyra let down her elbows and lay down again, watching the wall and the big candles. "Maybe I am talking nonsense."
Silence hit them again. They had started to do that ages ago, nearly a decade now. Harwin and Criston would leave them in the keep and go for a 'boys' night'. After a few weeks, they had grown bored with this custom and one thing lead to another and they started to share a bottle of wine every Thursday, which that one bottle would usually turn into at least four with time. It really helped them to mend their friendship and they knew their husbands were also trying.
It was the hour of the wolf now. Even Otto was sleeping.
Aegon was probably in the Flea Bottom, doing whatever he wants to do. Aemond -if a headache hit him again because of his eye, would probably be inside of the library, reading the newcomers from all around Essos. Helaena and the kids would go to bed fairly early, and Daeron would sometimes join Aegon or prefer to do his own adventures.
Carina and the twins -Aemma and Visenya, used this night as a sleepover night and Alicent's boys would be found in kitchens most likely. Baela and Rhaena were in Driftmark with their grandparents and uncle, Jace was in Dragonstone, and Luke had just left for Harrenhal with Joffrey. Lyonel was waiting for them in there.
"Are you sure about that match?", Rhaenyra asked again.
"What match?"
"Aemond and the girl."
"...Moira?"
"Whatever she is."
Alicent closed her eyes and rubbed her face. "I am not drunk enough for this."
"You drank three bottles yourself, it is a miracle that you haven't passed out and can form normal sentences."
"Look at you with your long lines and fancy words, as if I understand them."
"Well, boohoo.", Rhaenyra tried a lot to stand up and then she threw herself under Alicent's couch. "Are you really sure about it?"
"Marrying Aegon and Helaena was a mistake that I admit.", Alicent blurted, moving the wine bottle as she spoke. "And I do not wish to repeat the same mistake. I know how it exactly feels to force into a marriage that you don't want to."
"Then what? Why did you agree?"
"I didn't agree to a wedding.", she said with a hurt tone. "I just agreed to her arrival. Aemond is 25, old enough to marry."
"Does he want marriage at all? I mean he seemed like...", Rhaenyra opened her arm and looked at the confused Alicent. She rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. "Are we even sure that he likes girls? Or men? Or anything?."
Alicent snorted. "Just because his actions aren't salient like Aegon or Daeron's, doesn't mean he doesn't have his fair share of incidents.", she let out a hiccup and then covered her mouth with a slight shame. "Sorry."
"You've drunk too much."
"Because my baby boy is going to get married."
"Why are you crying?", Rhaenyra frowned and crawled away from her a little.
"I am not!", Alicent said with tears in her eyes. "I just want him to be happy, he deserved that."
"Of course he does bu-"
"You don't understand.", Alicent closed her eyes. "Ever since that incident in Driftmark-", Rhaenyra visibly shivered. "-he closed himself off. He doesn't open himself to anyone anymore."
"You are being unfair. He talks to you."
"What do you think he talks me about?", she sadly smiled. "If Criston treats me alright if Criston hurts me if Criston forces me into things.", she closed her eyes so the tears wouldn't go down. "If I am happy, if I had nightmares, if the kids are causing problems, if Aegon is going down again, did Helaena and the kids eat enough, what is Daeron's problem, why Criston was lumping the other day if he is needed in the council, do I need to talk and such. He only asks questions about me and about our family. But he withdraws even a little information about himself."
"He doesn't want to be a burden.", Rhaenyra said, playing with the hem of her dress.
"I tried too hard to protect him and the kids from my unhappiness. It breaks my heart to see that I had failed and now Aemond is paying its consequences."
"You did a great job. You managed to replace father's absence in their lives."
"But did I?", she looked directly into her eyes. "If I did then pray tell, why all of my kids still are a mess? Why they are still hurt over him? It's been 15 years Nyra."
"I think it's because he was alive and there and well at the beginning. If he would be simply dead, it wouldn't hurt this much. It is the knowledge that he was there but would rather do anything but spend time with you. It is the neglect that hurts and the more father neglected them more you cuddled them and now that they grow up, they cannot find the balance."
"Especially Aegon.", Alicent whispered.
"Especially Aegon.", Rhaenyra approved. "He breaks my heart the most. Seeing him trying to do his best with Helaena and the kids but failing hurts me because I know it hurts him. He is trying not to be a father so much that he doesn't see the damage he is doing to himself. Alcohol is an escape for him."
"If he can't remember-"
"He can't be held responsible."
"I just want them to be happy.", her voice cracked. "All of them. I want Aegon to stop blaming himself for every little thing happening, I want Helaena to have more connection with the world not worrying herself about everything, and I want Aemond to have his own life. He deserves it. He deserves to love someone and have someone who loves him, you've seen him with children, you know how much he loves them. He deserves that too. And Daeron? He needs a purpose again."
"The only person that can help them is themselves. You and I can't do anything."
"I am trying not to force them, especially not Aegon and Helaena because their situation is a bit more complicated and sensitive. But with Aemond and Daeron? I can actually do something so why wouldn't I?"
"Are you sure Aemond said yes to this because a small part of him wants this or because he wanted to make you happy?"
"The latter obviously. But as I said, I will not push him, that's not me. Just the girl will come and they will meet. I want both of them to be happy. I will not force anyone and create another unhappy marriage. But he needs to start from somewhere. And as his mother, it is my responsibility to assure that. You'll understand when you decide to marry your boys."
"Fuck, I have to do that too.", Rhaenyra rubbed her face. "Jace is the same age as Aemond, he waited too fucking long and now Luke is 23 and we can even find a betrothal for Joff.", she facepalmed.
"What of Baela and Rhaena?"
"Rhaenys stated clearly that such a match will not happen."
"Not even Luke and Rhaena?"
"No. She wishes to stay away from the throne as much as she can and Laenor agrees."
"Well, she is being inconsistent then. She says one thing and does the other.", Rhaenyra looked at her with confusion so Alicent's rolled her eyes and put the wine bottle on the floor and crouched down next to Rhaenya. "Aletris."
"Oh, her."
"Yes, her.", she said. "Corlys just pointed her as a candidate."
"She is half Targaryen and half Velaryon and she is a dragon rider that rides my grandfather's dragon. Why didn't you choose her?", Rhaenyra asked with a little annoyance. She would rather her than some Reyne girl.
"Because she is too much like Aemond. I want someone softer for him. Someone he can safely let go, not be on constant vigilance. He would argue with that girl from dusk till dawn and you know how much he truly hates such things. Moira Reyne is what he needs not Aletris Velaryon."
"Well you are his mother but as his sister, I support Aletris."
"You would support Velaryons over everyone else."
"Laenor only wrote good things for her."
"The only person your ex would tell bad things about is my husband."
"And can you blame him?", Rhaenyra raised her voice. "What Criston did was unspeakable."
"He is not that man anymore.", Alicent felt angry too. "You know that and Laenor can know that too if he would try to spend time with him."
"It isn't that easy."
"Well I forgive you.", she deadpanned and Rhaenyra looked shocked for a second. "And you forgave me. Lucerys and Aemond forgave each other, and Harwin and Criston forgave each other because that's what families do. We all did horrible things and now we have been in peace for the past 15 years. Forgiving Criston would help both."
"We'll see.", she cut it short and the doors opened and equally drunk Harwin and Criston entered while hugging each other and singing the Bear and the Maiden Fair.
Rhaenyra and Alicent look at each other and rolled their eyes. Harwin tried to bow to Alicent and Rhaenyra quickly muttered a 'good night' and took Harwin from Criston and left for their chambers. Alicent looked to Criston with a judgmental state and take off her robe, went in on her soft bed with her silk nightgown.
Criston watched her every move and then took off his boots and shirt, and went in bed as softly as he could. After both lay awake watching the ceiling for a while, Alicent spoke first.
"You smell disgusting."
"Harwin threw me into a muddy puddle."
"I will not ask why."
They weren't in the best of terms since the morning. Criston was arguing against her decision to marry Aemond and he wasn't even being subtle anymore. Both argued and argued for hours and Criston went to fetch Harwin from the training grounds with a curious Daeron watching them from behind. Aemond surely heard of it and went to talk to his mother. Alicent smiled and held his hands, assuring him everything was fine but still, he said that he'll talk with him in the morning.
"You are angry at me still?"
Alicent didn't answer.
"I hope you know you are being unfair my love. I only want what's best for Aemond."
"And I do not want what's best for my own son, is that what you are trying to say?", she spoke fastly and turned her back on him.
She heard Criston's sigh and his soft moves to turn her and hug her from her behind. Alicent thought about removing his arms around her for a second but she hated fighting with him and truly needed the comfort of his arms right now. So she went even closer and let him bury his nose to her neck and left a few light kisses.
"I never say such a thing. I am just worried about you both. You are hurting yourself over this matter and we both know Aemond had only agreed with this to make you happy. But I think we shouldn't force him to do that, it should be him that must come to us and say 'this is the woman of my dreams and the love of my life, the only person I wish to spend my time with'.", he kissed her neck again this time deeply and Alicent felt his smile as she did herself too.
These were the things he had said to Otto all these years ago about Alicent.
"I know you want his happiness only and believe me I want it too. We are not two sides on this matter. But just, what if he would push himself to like this girl and left out other opportunities?"
She played with Criston's finger for a few minutes, thinking. "You have a suggestion."
"Harwin is planning to summon Jace and Luke."
"Luke had just left."
"And he'll return soon."
"And?"
"He is planning to summon some ladies around the realm that are fit enough to marry a prince. He will let them choose their future wives."
"Rhaenyra didn't mention it."
Criston snorted. "Because he came up with this brilliant idea after his sixth ale. I am not sure if he even remembers it in the morning."
"Well, it's a brilliant plan. We can use the same system for Daeron too."
"And for Aemond.", he touches her with his nose.
"Well then let's say, he and Moira will openly court one another without a promise and we also will let him court any lady he wishes?"
"Exactly."
"Good then, let's talk about it more in the morning."
Half an hour passed and Alicent asked with a sleepy tone.
"We are doing the right thing, Criston, right? For our boy."
"Of course my love, don't even doubt it."
*
Aemond approached his sister's chambers with quick and knowing steps. It was tea time but Helaena never liked it so he knew she was trying to avoid their mother and use the kids as an excuse. But the kids weren't with her today. He had heard from the maids that his sister requested silence today and dismissed them all. Including the children.
Little Jaehaerys and Jaehaera weren't that little anymore, and neither was Maelor. The twins were going to celebrate their 12th name day in a few moons Maelor was already eight and the kids were growing rather quickly.
Jaehaerys liked to spend most of his time in the library. He wasn't so keen on sword fighting. His dragon, Shrykos, was often near him. She was still too young, not a hatchling but not older than the boy himself. He didn't like to see her caged in Dragonpit and said that he could feel her pain. Aegon, as usual, give in to his children's wishes and now the young dragon -at the same height as the boy, was often seen walking around with his future rider. The servants were afraid in the beginning and Alicent herself frowned upon the permission but Jaehaerys wasn't a boy who asked a lot of things, and the times he was truly happy weren't more than ten a finger on a hand. Seeing how happy and full of life her grandson became, Alicent gave up and tried not to care about the possible dangers.
Jaehaera liked all the 'girly' things. The time -unlike her mother, lots and lots of dresses, jewelry that are suited for her age and pretty shoes. She liked to wear her hair as her grandmother does. The usual Targaryen way was to just take two parts from the front and combined them with a single string on the back. Alicent loved waves and braids and buns and updos, she loved making Jaehaera's hair like that. So while Helaena followed the steps of her sister, her daughter followed Alicent. And she was now with her, and her aunt Carina and a few other ladies of the court, drinking tea and eating desserts. Her dragon Moghul was also allowed to roam around the castle but the young dragon loved the shades in the Godswood and was often seen sleeping there.
Maelor on the other hand was the complete opposite of his siblings. He was energetic and fast. He loved to run inside the castle, he loved riding horses and training in sword fighting. He was a happy kid with lots of energy to talk and sometimes both Helaena and Aegon felt dizzying to listen to him. His dragon had never hatched but it wasn't dead either like Rhaena's were a long time ago. He could feel the life inside of the egg, and so does anyone. Maelor never cared about not having a dragon unlike his uncle did years ago, everytime somebody asked about it he would give one simple explanation 'it will hatch when the time comes', and people hadn't asked the boy this question in years. Some thought it was a child's hope but Helaena supported her son and told stuff about being ready to enter the world and that a dragon is a symbol of its rider's soul and such.
"May I come?", Aemond knocked on the door and shared a look with Ser Erryk. He was bound to serve Helaena and Ser Arryk to Aegon.
Ser Harrold was too busy to arrange everything. Ser Willis kept company with the children of Aegon and Helaena, Ser Rickard followed Rhaenyra as a shadow, Ser Steffon was with Rhaenyra's children and Ser Lorent was sworn to Daeron.
Aemond didn't want it a kingsguard. He didn't need it.
He was enough by himself but his family needed protection.
He would swear himself and would become a kingsguard but the seven was alive and well.
He was going to knock it again when he didn't hear a response from his sister but before he managed to do that Helaena opened the door with a tired expression on her face. Her hair was messy and she was just standing in a robe. Looked to Aemond's left and right and when she was sure nobody was there she let out his anger.
"What's going on."
"This.", Helaena pointed to Aegon on her bed. Sleeping with a frown.
Aemond looked at his brother a little and sighed. Helaena had already sat on the couch in front of the bed and started doing her embodiments.
"He came late last night.", she started to speak while Aemond kept looking at his brother with deep sadness in his eye. "You know he usually avoids us on the nights he drank too much but last night he was in really bad shape. Ser Erryk and Ser Arryk managed to bring him here with strength."
"Did the kids see him?", he tried to get rid of the lump in his throat.
"No.", Helaena didn't look at him. "You know last night was the free time of Ser Harwyn and Ser Criston so mother was with Rhaenyra and the girls were having sleepovers. Jaehaera asked me to attend as well."
"She did?", Aemond tried to sound curious. Jaehaera loved socializing and she was an extrovert but she had never asked for a sleepover before.
"Yes. Apparently, Aemma insisted a lot. She looked at me with her big eyes and I couldn't say no."
"What about the boys?"
Helaena sighed. "Jaehaerys was with grandpa."
"Doesn't he goes to his bed early, what was he doing with him?"
"Well, apparently they had found a big lead about Valyria or something."
Oh that, Jaehaerys had a curious mind that had questioned everything. The Doom was one of those things. Helaena had seen it in her dreams, not that she understood it, not that she would tell anyone if she did but Jaehaerys was obsessed with it. He was reading books and asking Aemond to translate a few older Valyrian testaments, and Otto started to participate in his treasure hunt to keep an eye on the boy.
"And Maelor?"
"Went with them. Both stayed with him last night and I was alone in here."
"Did he hurt you?", Aemond asked with a zero expression on his face and tried to harden his heart as much as he could. His biggest fear was to her a positive answer to this question on one of those days. But Helaena snorted as usual.
"Physically? No. But emotionally?", she waited a few seconds and Aemond's focus shifted to her. "More than usual.", she had whispered.
Aemond took a deep breath. "Would you like to talk about it? You know you are not alone when it comes to him."
"I know, I know.", she quickly spoke. "But it feels ...immoral to talk with you about him."
"Immoral? Why is that?"
"Because he comes to me drunk, he tells me things drunk. He doesn't even remember it in the morning. And telling those things to you...", Helaena forced herself to look at Aemond. "He comes to me because in his mind, deep down, he trusts me as a confider. Isn't it immoral of me to tell you these things?"
"Not if it might help him.", Aemond cut it short. The lump was back in its favourite spot in Aemond's throat. "Not if I can help him."
"No one can help him.", Helaena returned to the job in her hands again. "No one can help anyone."
"I can.", Aemond insisted, taking a step closer to his sister. "You know I can."
"No, I know you would hurt yourself trying. That's what you always do."
"That's not-"
"That's it Aemond.", Helaena took a deep breath. "You are not our protector or our saviour, you are our brother. It is not your duty to save everyone who falls into darkness. When will you start to take care of your life? When will you start to go after your own happiness? Something big is about to happen in your life and-"
"You want me to talk about some girl that I didn't even meet when our brother is likely to die alone in Flea Bottom in close future? Do you know how ridiculous this sounds?"
"What I know-", she pressed the word and looked to Aemond's eye with a fire. "-is that only Aegon can help Aegon and he will soon."
"Oh, is that it?", he mocked. "You saw a dream and now we all must just watch the way he destroys himself?"
"You had always believed in my dreams, and now you start to doubt them?"
"I believed them when it comes to others not when it comes to us. There is a high possibility that you may understand them wrong, I am only-"
"I saw your eye loss, haven't I?", she challenged him. "I told you you will have to close an eye in order to get a dragon and you didn't believe me, mother didn't believe me."
"I believed everything else since, Elea.", Aemond took a deep breath. He didn't want to make her feel bad. He knew he was the only one who truly believed in her dreams. Aegon dread it, Alicent listened but never understood and Daeron preferred to act like nothing was happening. "What have you seen?", he asked but Helaena just shrugged and avoid him. "Sister?", he pleaded.
"Nothing particular.", she whispered. "It wasn't like one of my usuals. I just knew. You have to believe it too. He'll be okay one day."
"Okay.", he nodded his head. "Okay, I believe you, okay.", he rubbed his face and returned his eye back to Aegon. "What is this about then? Part of the progress?", when his sister didn't answer him he turned back once again to look at her. "Sister?"
"He cried the whole night again. Hugged me like a little kid would to his mother. Repeated self-hating phrases."
"What kind of phrases?"
Helaena stopped all of her doings and patted the couch so that Aemond could sit. After a moment of thinking, Aemond approached her slowly and sat down. Both were looking to Aegon, never to each other. Helaena was playing with her fingers just like her mother did once in her youth and Aemond's jaw was hurting because of all the clenching.
"He still thinks father never liked him, let one love him."
"Father loved none but Aemma Arryn and Rhaenyra and her bastards."
"Bastards.", Helaena snorted. "They never were though, weren't they? They were true princelings, true Velaryons in his eyes. Pure and perfect, holy even, without a sin."
"I never understood how he kept believing you know. It was clear as day."
"He knew the truth deep down, he just made himself believe those lies."
"No, no, maybe at the beginning but towards the end, he was believing Elea. He truly believed, in his heart and in his mind, that those boys were Velaryons. He loved them to the stars and the moons. But it was a love that was killing him. Funny enough nobody caused him to harm more than the people he loved. He avoided us like we were plagues while his precious Rhaenyra was destroying everything Aegon once stood for."
"We had left behind those days. Rhaenyra is okay now, I guess. Not that bad anymore, at least she tries."
"She only started to try when it was her head on the line. Not out of love or something like that, but to save her own life. I will never forget that day you know. I had lost an eye, bleeding, was in pain, and couldn't focus on anything that was happening. They took us all to the great hall and father entered first. He didn't even look at me.", he smiled with tears in his eye. "Not a single glance but he rushed to them.", the last word came out poisonous. "Only when mother had entered he remembered my existence. And while she gave everything to give me justice, he threatened everyone to cut their tongues off for merely stating the truth and she stood there, looked at me, and demanded my torture. I don't care how much she tries or how genuine she is, I will never leave those days behind. We all act otherwise, and maybe the anger and the hatred aren't there anymore but the pain? The heartbreak? The sorrow? There are things no goodwill and siblinghood can take from me, and those things are too deep now. Nothing can or will heal my eye and even if a miracle happens, I will never forget the fear that I had to endure that day.", Helaena put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. "So I don't understand why Aegon destroyed himself over a shadow that left out lives 15 years ago. He was a disease, he and Daemon, that was going to destroy this house but the Gods had taken him when he crossed the line one too many times and now we are all free. His love was never going to be ours even if we would be the exact copy of Rhaenyra. He didn't love himself so he blamed us. It has nothing to do with Aegon. He didn't like us when we were newborns, he didn't like us when we were kids, and he didn't like us when we were teens. He wasn't going to love us when we were adults too."
"He thinks Viserys would love him if he would give the throne to Rhaenyra."
"Is this an actual thought? Does he actually think that? Like is it a thought process? Will he open the subject to the council?"
"He was drunk-"
"Drunken words are sober thoughts."
"I don't know Aemond.", she whispered again. "I tried to calm him down. We gave the throne to her, didn't we? She was the regent, she could just take it but didn't. It was she who rejected it, it was the throne itself who rejected Rhaenyra the way it rejected him. It is not Aegon's fault."
"He has a thick head, it's normal for him to not understand this basic fact."
"Don't be harsh on him."
"Harsh? If I were truly harsh on him he wouldn't be like this. Just look at him, Helaena."
Aegon was shirtless, when he had a panic attack last night he tried to rip it off but Helaena kindly helped him to get rid of it. He had purple and yellow bruises all around his back and arms, there was a huge red spot on his back that covered nearly all of his right side. There were scratches on his face and blood on his ear.
"He is our king. We are ruled by him. And look at him, look what he is doing to himself."
"Mother rules the realm.", Helaena said.
"But she shouldn't! After everything she gave up, she should be happy, relaxing in wherever she wants. Not picking up Aegon's mistakes, she is not the queen anymore, she has no duty to the realm."
"Mother is happy."
"Is she? Can you truly tell me that she would rather stay here and get lost in politics rather than return back to Oldtown and raise the kids she had wanted this time?"
"Don't say that.", she said with tears and made an attempt to close her eyes. "Don't ever say that, mother loves us."
"Loves us, yes, but she didn't want us.", Aemond shrugged.
He had made peace with it. His mother was a child who was forced to bear children of her own. She was a child who just lost her mother and was stuck with a complex father. She was a child who was raising children. No one in their right mind would even suggest that she had wanted them. She was 14 when she had Aegon, nearly 16 when Helaena came into the world -not even of age yet, and 17 when Aemond had come, and 19 when Daeron was born after lots of miscarriage scares and long and bloody labour. Then Ser Criston had become a permanent member in their lives and Aemond had heard that some nights the king would send his men at very late hours and Criston would shrug them off without even asking or disturbing the queen. Knowing that she couldn't stand him but would do her duty nevertheless, Criston had to take this decision for her name more than once. He protected his queen even against his king.
That was why Aemond gave his blessing to their union because he knew Criston would rather to fell onto his sword rather than cause even a little frown on his mother's face.
That and he knew Criston made Alicent happy.
That and Aemond wanted Criston as a father figure.
Now 15 years had passed, three half-siblings born into their weird family and Aemond lost count of the times he had to stop himself before calling Criston 'father'.
But he knew Aegon had called him like that even before Viserys had die when he was drunk a little and he remembered the way Criston's eyes teared up and he listen to his mother's muffled cries outside of her chambers that night, and Criston's painful face. Knowing that the woman he was in love with was in pain because of what could've been, but his hands were tied.
"But you shouldn't say it anyways, it hurts mother."
"I never hurt mother."
"Is this why you accepted the marriage proposal?"
"She didn't propose anyone to me and I didn't accept. She wouldn't force-", Aemond stopped himself and bit his tongue but a shadow had already passed from his beautiful sister's face. "I am sorry Elea."
"It's okay.", she shrugged. "I remember her sorrow too on my wedding day. I was trying to cheer her up even though I was numb too."
"You know she didn't want that."
"I know. But it was the council's order. We were both young, so very young then."
"They knew another possible queen would only create chaos at that point because none wanted Rhaenyra and they needed him with a child as soon as possible so the people wouldn't forget whose line the blood of the dragon would continue and that Rhaenyra was merely a regent."
"The council never forgot what Daemon had caused her."
"No, they did not."
"Lions are the kings of the woods brother.", Helaena said suddenly. "But they do not rule over dragons."
"Reynes are not true lions."
"Coat of gold, coat of red, a lion still has claws.", she said like she was in a trance. "But hers are not long and sharp and the rains will weep for her in a stranger's halls."
"Was this a-", Aemond slowly touched to Helaena but she jumped and got up from the couch, rubbing her face. "Are you alright?"
"Yes, yes I am. But as I said, she is not worthy, only a dragon can rule a dragon."
"I don't want anyone to rule me."
"It's not what you want, it's about what you need. Moira Reyne is dutiful and obedient, that's for sure. But you must think clearly, is this what you want? Is this what you desire? A woman by your side who would agree with everything you say? Or do you long for a challenge?"
"I only wish to make mother happy and if the solution to it is Moira Reyne then I am ready to take her under my protection."
"You can't, you hate yellow.", she said while watching the sky from a window, she continued before Aemond had managed to open his mouth. "Can we go riding tomorrow? You, me, Aegon and Daeron? As siblings? And we can ask Rhaenyra too. It's been too long since we did that."
"Sure, we can. Do you think he would be in a good shape for that?"
"I'll make sure of it."
Aemond nodded even though she didn't see but before he left Helaena warned him once again.
"Sometimes truth is too obvious brother but even two eyes can't see it. And sometimes the truth is too well hidden but even one eye can see it. But most of the time the truth is simple mercy. And a victim maybe wasn't the victim all along."
*
"How was the hunting?", Ellyn asked with excitement. "I wish father would let me join."
Aletris dismounted from her horse without help from a stable boy or a young squire and fixed her jacket. "You know Lord Borros doesn't like it when you mention such things. How would he say?", she made a thinking face then clapped her fingers. "Oh, now I remember, it wasn't 'ladylike'."
"But you do it."
"I am not a lady."
"Of course you are.", a deeper voice called them out from their backs. "You are the most gracious lady in the realm."
Aletris made a face and rolled her eyes while Ellyn pretended that she didn't see it. "You are being too kind, again, Royce."
"Anything for you my lady.", Royce was a typical Baratheon with his dark hair and blue eyes but was also a child in her eyes. All this courting thing wasn't working for her and no amount of pushing from Lord Borros and Princess Rhaenys wouldn't cause a sudden spark or an ever-growing bloom.
It was sad that nobody could see it. And she was sure nobody would even hear it if she would shout it from the skies.
"My lady, my father told me to escort you to your chambers and then back to the dining hall.", Royce spoke once again, not making eye contact with her.
It wasn't like he was in love with her or something, but the pressure on his back caused him to try too hard. When they sent Aletris there to foster with Rhaenys' cousin -because her parents passed away too soon, Royce wasn't even born yet. He was barely sixteen -his name day was a week ago when Aletris herself was a grown woman now twenty and six. It was a horrendous scandal that she wasn't married yet. But Borros made her the future Lady of the Storm's End the moment Royce had born and too many things happened to Rhaenys and Corlys to do something about it.
Aletris wanted to get married but only when she find an equal. A man, she wanted, someone who wouldn't frown upon her behaviours and call them 'unladylike' (such as wearing long pants with tunics and jackets and high boots, or riding a horse without a proper saddle, or flying with her dragon or going into hunts), she wanted someone who would accompany her, someone who would support her, someone who would respect her.
Lord Borros Baratheon wasn't a guy like that and even though she literally watched the way Royce had grown up, she knew he wasn't like that either. Also, the idea of marrying him was on the verge of disgusting her. She remembered when he was a baby, she remembered the boy's childhood, she remembered the time that she had nursed him when he was toothing. And now that boy had grown up but still, he was a boy and was a child in her eyes.
She wrote to Corlys and Rhaenys about her thoughts and they responded to her when they had a chance, telling her that they had understood her struggles but that becoming a Lady Paramount was more important than such things and that she should find a way to let go of her thoughts.
She didn't even try to do that.
She burned the letter and made it very specific to everyone around that she was not going to marry Royce. The boy couldn't even speak to her for more than two minutes without a stutter and she was not going to be used as a broodmare for some lordling.
She never wanted children -not after she had to take care of Royce, her fucking future 'husband'. She was not going to make a baby with a baby and even if she would find a man to her liking, the breeding subject wasn't for her. She would rather end up as a spinster rather than have a child at this point.
She spoke those words loudly too but every single time, but every single time, Lord Borros and Lady Elenda just laughed at her. Laena's horrible death on the childbed also made her reconsider the subject and with each passing day, she found even less interest in the matter.
She could get away from the marriage if she could have impulse control. She knew cousins or not, Borros wasn't going to stand here because of Rhaenys and her disinterest was showing too much while they were with outsiders but then the dreadful day came.
The day she accidentally claimed Vermithor.
She didn't even know what was the dragon doing in Storm's End. She had heard about the new customers that allowed dragons to have more freedom and for some reason, even a young princeling (only a year younger than her) thought it was a good idea to let go of some older dragons in the depths of the Dragonstone. And for some reason, Vermithor flew over Storm's End.
She was a quarter Targaryen, her grandmother was a princess. Her father had a dragon egg on his cradle that never hatched and died soon enough, the egg had turned into a stone and she didn't get one when she was born. And she never wished to claim it. Her Targaryen blood was mixed now with Velaryon and Celtigar and even though she was a pure Valyrian, she wasn't even a half-dragonlord. She cared about her life more than a little adventure so she stood away from them. And she never wished for one, not when Laena claimed Vhagar or Laenor claimed Seasmoke, not Rhaenys took her for a fly with Meleys or not when she had seen Caraxes and Syrax from afar.
She wasn't made for dragons.
But then Vermithor arrived, the legendary dragon of Jaehaerys the First and finds a nest in there. He had slept in its grand entrance just below the mountain. Borros was terrified, he wrote to Rhaenys immediately and she arrived the next day with Meleys. Tried to approach him but he was aggressive, too aggressive than usual. She tried to control him but failed and he even blew fire at Meleys.
He was in pain but nobody saw it.
Well nobody but Aletris.
She knew she shouldn't have done it, she knew it was both dangerous and stupid but she couldn't control her impulse and went down on the mountain in the dark while one of the greatest storms was covering the whole Storm's End.
She stole a health kit from the Maester and approached the dragon. She knew High Valyrian too well and even though it was a little rusty, she still managed to speak a few words.
"I am here to help you.", she said. "I know you are hurt, let me help you."
He was alone, all alone in the world. His rider died a very long time ago and now it was a new age, a new era and nobody took care of him. It was sad almost. Vermithor roared and she thought she was going to die horribly with dragon fire but then the old dragon let her approach.
He probably flew too close to the mountains, she thought. Because there was a long splinter on his side. It took a while and a huge amount of effort and trying to bargain with him not to burn her alive but finally she managed to take the splinter out and the roar of the Vermithor reached to even Dragonstone. She managed to fix the wound quickly before Jacaerys arrived to see what was wrong with him and thanks to her luck nobody saw her. They all were so terrified.
She kept going to him daily, for nearly a fortnight. Feed him, cleaned his wounds and even spoke with him and the dragon's fury passed each and every day, little by little. And when the day of his departure arrived he just took her with his claws and flew her around for half an hour.
She felt like dying and passing out and she was just lucky not to throw up. But then he put her back from where he got her. Her hair was messy and she was shaken on the floor and Laenor was watching her with both humour and fear with Seasmoke, Vermithor looked at her with a tilted head a little and let out another roar that probably meant 'goodbye' or something.
Then Laenor, her cousin, took her back to her chambers under the horrified looks of the Baratheon family and tried to calm her down. Rhaenys arrived the next day with Meleys again and while she was telling the story something knocked on her window and when they turned they saw Vermithor's nose.
She would never forget the looks on Laenor and Rhaenys' faces.
But Vermithor hit the window with his nose again, clearly trying not to break it but he was getting angrier, she knew it. Rhaenys told her to go on and she tried to land on his saddle -in a storm and with zero experience. She was sure that she was going to die but even though she was experienceless, Vermithor was not. This time he flew her around a little calmly and let her adjust and then brought her to Dragonstone, where she met with Jace officially.
Vermithor sent a look to Jace and then went inside the Dragonmount again, she had spoken with Jace and returned back to Storm's End. This thing kept happening nearly every day but Vermithor didn't still let her ride him when she wanted. He had the power in this bond until one day she said 'fuck it' and sailed to Dragonstone and sat on his saddle for three and a half days straight. The old dragon appreciated her efforts and let her ride him.
It wasn't a usual bonding story and as much as she heard Corlys was shocked and horrified but in the end, she had a dragon that had to stay in Dragonstone but they would meet weekly.
And the idea of marrying his only son and heir with a dragon rider was too good to stand any embarrassment for Borros Baratheon.
She had sworn not to marry Royce and she intended to keep it and they couldn't actually fırce her now that she had a dragon but this 'betrothal' (which wasn't even official yet) kept other men away from her so she was going to use it a little more too. She was old now, a life was stolen for her and she was not going to become a trophy for older lords with tens of children, and surely she was not going to be a nursemaid for a boy for the rest of her life. She was a dragon rider and she had already accepted an alone life.
She had dismissed Royce's attempts and started to walk towards her chambers locking her arms with Ellyn.
"At least he is trying.", Ellyn tried.
"Would you want to marry a sixteen-year-old?"
"Well, I am eight and ten myself, so it's not that bad."
"Okay let me rephrase it then, would you rather marry a sixteen-year-old boy that you watched grow?"
"No, it's gross."
"Exactly. I would rather end up as a spinster than marry. I realized recently that this was not an option for me anyways."
"Don't say that, I'm sure Vermithor would take you away from us gladly and you could find a husband for yourself."
"I am six and twenty, no lord would want to marry me, think I am too old."
"You are a Velaryon with a dragon. Sea Snake is your cousin."
"And was my legal ward but see what he had allowed."
"Would you rather marry a Stark?", Ellyn got surprised. "Or an Arryn? Those stoic, boring people? At least Royce has-"
"Royce is a child with boring interests.", she rolled her eyes. "At least Cregan Stark is a man."
"And already has a son and heir."
"I also heard he is good looking so yes, I would rather marry a Stark at this point."
"Well, maybe you should write to aunt Rhaenys. Maybe if you give them a candidate, they would reconsider it?"
"They would not."
"They are aware you are not happy and they had already tried.", Ellyn said but then regret it.
"They tried what?", Aletris stopped her steps.
"Noth-"
"Ellyn?"
"Okay, I will tell you but you can't tell it to no one, promise?"
"Fine, I promise.", Aletris said after a few seconds.
"They had proposed you as a candidate for the One-Eyed Prince.", Ellyn said with wide eyes.
"Aemond Targaryen?", Aletris frowned.
"Yes!"
"Then what had happened? Why didn't I hear such things?"
"The Queen had said that you are to be the Lady of Storm's End and that you've been fostered as that. It wouldn't be fair to take it from you."
"And what did my dearest cousin say?", she was slowly getting angry.
"I don't know."
"Did they find another candidate?"
"Moira Reyne.", Ellyn blurted.
"A Westerlander rather than a pure Valyrian?"
"Well, would you like to go to the capital and marry a prince?"
"I do not wish to marry at this point.", Ellyn was going to speak again but Aletris had stopped her. "I need to take a bath and get ready for dinner."
Ellyn was left in the corridor while an angry Aletris entered her chambers and took a very hot bath. She put on her deep blue dress with low shoulders and cuffs on her wrists with exposing arms and wore a silver belt. She let her maids braid her white hair in a simple way, a lovely updo. She wore her silver earrings and a silver necklace with a Velaryon sigil under it.
When she arrived she realized she was the last one and muttered a quick apology. Lord Borros was holding a scroll in his hands but she didn't ask. While they all were eating and chatting with each other he suddenly spoke.
"You all are going to the Red Keep next week."
"Why, father?", Maris asked. They had never gone to the capital before.
"The Queen,", he grimaced a second. "The Dowager Queen had sent for young lords and ladies all around the realm. Looking for matches for her children and her grandchildren -step and such. Princess Rhaenyra will also attend to the matchmaking process."
"Can I marry a prince?", Cassandra asked, eyes gleaming with joy -and a bit of ambition.
"The Starks doesn't have a daughter or sister, and neither does the Tullys or the Tyrells or the Arryns. A Greyjoy cannot be even a candidate and neither can a Martell. Us Baratheons have the most beautiful girls in the realm. Of course one of you will marry into royalty."
"Well not me.", Royce blurted and blushed in a second. "I will marry Aletris! So we don't have to go."
"I will go.", she deadpanned. "It is not for you to decide what I will do."
"It will when we will marry.", Royce said like he was proud of himself.
Aletris rolled her eyes while the Baratheon sisters chatted with each other and Borros kept eating and his wife drinking. While Royce was telling her things that she wasn't listening she was trying to form a plan in her head. Maybe talking with her cousin face to face would make him change his mind about the match.