It took every ounce of Cliff's self control not to step forward, take Annie in his arms, and plant his mouth on hers again without holding back. The only thing that kept him from doing it was the knowledge that she'd kissed him as a friend and nothing more.
But God, every part of him was still buzzing as they walked around the manor to the backyard. He had no idea what came over him, what courage he'd come across that inspired him to make the offer, but he'd be grateful for it the rest of his life.
When he touched her, she'd all but melted against him. And damn it, she'd been afraid of not knowing what to do for nothing. She'd practically brought him to his knees with the way she'd kissed him.
He'd forced himself to pull away before he got carried away--a few seconds later and Jack would have caught them. Jack, who was the one Annie undoubtedly would rather be kissing--and not as a friend.
When she thanked Cliff it slammed him right back into reality, where the kiss was nothing more than a favor for her. For him, it was everything.
His family and Marshall's were all sitting and chatting around the long outdoor dining table, which was set with various colorful dishes. The aroma, as enticing as it was, did nothing to distract him from replaying the kiss in his mind again and again. How could he be expected to eat, to talk, to act normal when he was still reeling?
He put on a smile as he approached the table, Annie walking beside him to a pair of open seats. As everyone served themselves, no one seemed to notice his pounding heart, or that his hands were shaking as he unfolded his napkin over his lap.
The last time he'd kissed someone he'd been in high school. It was some girl at a party, in a game of spin the bottle one of his friends had somehow convinced him to join--it meant nothing, and until a few minutes ago Cliff assumed he'd go to his grave with that being the only kiss of his life.
"Cliff," Kenzie's voice drew him from his thoughts, had him blinking to clear his head. Most of the guests still talked around them, apart from Annie, Jack, and his Mom, who were seated closest. "Have you thought about sticking around after the wedding yet?"
He nodded, feeling a twinge of anxiety replace the remaining lust in his gut. He was wondering when this topic would come up again. Wondering when he might have to skirt around telling the full truth about his life.
"I, um... Well..."
How could he possibly go back to his life of reclusive solitude after this? He couldn't. Not now that he remembered how wonderful it was to be outside, to be with people--at least the ones who didn't mind his scars.
He'd contact his landlord, take a trip up there to get the rest of his things while Kenzie was away on her honeymoon, and officially move out. Back to the orchard. Back home where he belonged.
"I'd like to stay indefinitely, if it's alright with everyone."
The way Kenzie's face lit up was answer enough. "Are you serious? Yes! Of course it is! Like you even have to ask."
His mother leaned over, pressing a kiss into his hair. "I was hoping you'd say that."
Cliff looked over to Jack, who nodded with a smile.
Kenzie served herself some salad as Cliff reached for the plate of rolls. "One of us should drive you back to wherever you rented your car from, so that you don't have to pay for it anymore."
"Actually," he cleared his throat, focusing on serving himself to avoid the eyes of his family. "That's... it's my car. I bought it."
"You bought it?" Kenzie repeated. "What, did you have it shipped from Amsterdam?"
Jack accepted the bowl of salad as she passed it to him, but kept his eyes on Cliff. "It's got Virginia plates."
"I bought it here." At a place just a few miles from his apartment, which was only four hours from Red View. "I, um... I know that probably seems weird."
Kenzie laughed. "A little."
"Will you eventually have it shipped back to Amsterdam, then?" Jack asked.
"No." Cliff wrung the napkin in his lap. "I... wasn't planning to go back to the Netherlands. I actually moved out of my apartment there." Approximately three and a half years ago.
"Oh." Jack's eyebrows rose. "So when you say indefinitely, you mean... indefinitely."
Kenzie bounced in her seat. "So you mean you're staying? Like really staying?"
"Only if it's alright," he looked back at Jack. At the end of the day, he and Dawson were in charge of that decision. "If not, I can find a place in town--"
"Don't be stupid, of course it's alright." Jack let out a short laugh, shaking his head. "You just caught me off guard. We're glad to have you back. But Dawson and Layla already have dibs on the master once Kenzie and Marshall move out, so don't get your hopes up just because you're the oldest."
"This is the best wedding present I could have asked for," Kenzie gushed. Cliff's heart soared at the reaction--not even the guilt of his lies could taint the gratitude he felt for his family.
His mother reached over for his hand as Kenzie turned to tell Marshall the news. "I can't say I disagree. Welcome home, Cliff."
He smiled, though he found his throat constricting, emotion washing over him. He wanted to tell her the truth, and yet couldn't bear the thought of her changing her mind. "Thanks, Mom."
Jack was attempting to relay the news to Dawson, who was deep in conversation with Layla and Gabby, and Lillie-Mae rose from the table to go to Roman, who was standing near the table talking to one of the caterers with Marshall's father.
"I'm glad," Annie spoke from beside him, so quiet under all the talking that he almost didn't hear her. When he turned and met those blue eyes, he felt a stab of pain in his chest as he realized that staying meant he would likely have to watch her fall in love with someone else as the years went on. "I would've missed you."
They shared smiles as he echoed her words, "I would've missed you."
How she could manage to make it seem like they were the only two people on earth while surrounded by commotion, he wasn't sure. But a second later Dawson was clapping his hand on his shoulder, drawing him from the bubble that he wondered if Annie felt surrounded by too.
As the night came to an end, Annie found herself walking to her car under the starry sky with hands full of carefully-wrapped leftovers.
He was staying. Oh God, he was staying. She didn't know whether to jump with joy or start weeping. Of course she wanted him to stay, but part of her had been counting on the fact that he'd be leaving--it made the disappointment of not having him easier to deal with. She was able to blame their not being together on the difference of their lives, rather than on who she was and what she looked like.
She sighed as she reached her car, tired from the day of socializing. She'd go home, take a nice long shower, get a full eight hours of sleep, and come to the orchard bright and early for the wedding.
And her date. Which she couldn't be angry about having anymore, since it'd been the catalyst that made Cliff offer to kiss her.
Even just the thought of the kiss had her swirling again, ready to give up anything to go back to that moment.
She moved her leftovers to one hand to reach into the pocket of her dress for her car keys, then realized she was searching the wrong pocket. Just as she went to switch, she heard footsteps approaching and turned to see Jack at the end of the dirt path.
"Let me," he offered, taking the stack of dishes from her arms.
"Oh, thank you." She smiled, grabbing her keys and unlocking her car. She popped the trunk and he went around to the back, placing them inside.
"So," he started as he closed it, "Cliff's staying."
"I-- Yeah," she stammered, wondering if it was obvious she'd been thinking about that very thing before he showed up. "I'm glad."
"I wondered if you were," he said, tone too nonchalant for the words. "You nearly knocked your cup of water over when he announced it."
She felt the quick rush of heat to her face. "I was surprised, yes."
He came around the car to stand next to her, leaning against the back door and crossing his arms. "It's kind of funny, isn't it?"
"What?" she asked, resting against the car with him, searching his face for an answer. The light from the nearby lampposts of the store reflected in his glasses, but couldn't hide the amusement in his eyes.
"Everyone thinks--or thought, at least--that I'm the one you're interested in." His lips moved into a smirk as her heart sunk--he'd figured her out. Oh, God. He knew. Was it really that obvious? "I don't know why I didn't see it before."
"See what?" She attempted to be coy, but her voice was too small, too guilty.
He leveled her with a look, and she knew it was useless to play dumb. "Annie."
Looking away from him, she let her gaze fall on the manor. Lights were still on in the windows, shining from the kitchen and the upstairs bedrooms. Inside, Lillie-Mae and Roman were tidying up the kitchen and backyard with help from Layla and Dawson. Kenzie and Marshall were probably spending the night talking about how their lives were changing tomorrow. And here she was, being found out that she wished she was inside with Cliff.
"When I came around the house and found you two, I just got a feeling. The same feeling that used to follow Dawson and Layla around before they got together. Then I watched you at dinner and saw how you looked at him."
She wrapped her cardigan tighter as a breeze rolled by, blowing her dress around her legs and sending a chill over her. Nothing seemed like the right thing to say--there was no sense in denying it, but everything else that came to mind was nothing but self-pitying. What did it matter if she liked him? What did it matter if everyone knew? Nothing would come from it, and that was that.
"You can tell me I'm wrong," Jack said, nudging her with his elbow. "But judging from that reaction, I take it I'm not."
"No," she managed, still quieter than she would've liked. "You're right."
"Considering the news that he's staying, I'd expect you to sound a little happier."
"He only sees me as a friend." She shrugged, trying to ignore how much the words hurt to say.
"He told you that?"
"Well, no, but..." With a sigh, she resigned herself to telling another soul the truth she was so embarrassed by. "He asked if I was excited for my date tomorrow, and I explained--without even meaning to--how I was nervous because I've never been kissed before. Or, never had been. He offered to, so that I wouldn't have to worry about it. So he... kissed me."
Jack held up a hand, shaking his head. "I'm not following. Cliff offers to kiss you--does kiss you--and yet you're saying he only sees you as a friend?"
"He kissed me as a favor." And she wished he'd stop making her explain that. "He offered to do it as a friend, so it wouldn't be such a big deal."
"Most people don't go around kissing their friends. We're friends, but I wouldn't've offered."
"Everyone's different. You wouldn't have, but if Adam was single, he might have." She laughed, shaking her head. "Gabriela might even have, if I'd asked her."
"I guess I see your point. I'd argue Cliff doesn't seem like the type, but then, I haven't known him for four years. Either way, it doesn't mean the two of you couldn't become something more."
She wished she could believe that. "You won't say anything to him, right? I don't know how I'd face him if he knew."
"If he knew, he might ask you out." He rolled his eyes at her doubtful expression. "I won't tell anyone. Your secret's safe with me."
Relief washed over her, ridding her of the worry. Jack was the type who meant what he said, and she knew he wouldn't betray a promise like that.
"Thanks, Jack." She smiled, heading around to the driver's side. Before she could say goodnight, he spoke again.
"How bad is it, if you don't mind me asking?"
She looked at him from over the vehicle, resting her chin on the roof in defeat and blowing out a heavy breath that had her bangs lifting from her forehead. "Terminal."
Jack laughed, a rare but welcome sound. "Better not be. I'm too busy to find another social media manager."
She shook her head, but couldn't stop herself from giggling. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Night." He held up a hand in farewell before turning back to the path. Annie watched him leave for a moment before settling herself behind the wheel and heading back to Red View.
By the time she got home, showered, and ready for bed, she was barely awake enough to remember to plug in her phone before tucking herself in. Her first outfit for tomorrow--a comfortable ensemble of leggings and a sweatshirt--was waiting for her, folded neatly on her dresser. Her bridesmaid dress was back at the orchard, where she and the rest of the bridal party would get ready together with the help of hired hairstylists and makeup artists.
Excitement bloomed in her chest as thoughts of the wedding raced through her mind. But when she turned out the lights and shut her eyes, the dreams that came to her were of Cliff. She dreamt of another kiss, of him confessing the feelings she so desperately wished he had for her, of romance and love. When she woke, the excitement was replaced by a dull, aching emptiness.