Akio and I slowly make our way down the mountainside. His arm is wrapped around my shoulders as I help him walk. I'm not even sure if I'm going the right way. This whole place looks the friggin same. It's like somebody copied and pasted a bunch of white mountains and trees. Akio says I'm going the right way, though, and obviously, I have no choice but to trust him. I look up, seeing the sky turn a pale blue, the sun hanging just below the horizon. I can't decide whether to be relieved that the sun is coming up or terrified. We'll be easier to spot in the sunlight, but at least it may warm up slightly. I'm not exactly sure how much ground we've covered, either. Still, I know we've been moving pretty slowly and leaving a massive trail behind us.
"Hey, Binky," Akio starts. I glance over at him. His eyes are closed as he hops along beside me. I try not to show how tired I am as he opens his eyes to look at me. I've practically been carrying his whole weight for a couple of hours now. "If they find us again...I want you to leave me."
My face hardens.
"What happened to that positive guy I know?" I say.
He chuckles and shakes his head.
"I am positive. Positive that I will slow you down and get us both killed."
I swallow hard, not really sure what to say to that. I mean, he's right. No point in arguing about that. He would slow me down, but I can't leave him. Not after everything we've been through. We're in this for the long haul now. Besides, the thought of me doing all of this alone is just downright terrifying. I shake my head.
"You're my wingman now, alright? And you never leave your wingman. Besides, you still have to get that necklace back to your girl."
He says nothing but cracks a small smile. "How's the leg feeling?"
"Terrible. How's the hand?"
I glance down at my still-burned, pulsating hand. "Terrible."
He chuckles.
"Can we stop for a few minutes?"
I stop walking and take a quick look at my surroundings. Nothing but endless, snowy nothingness. I think we've created a lot of separation from the Russians anyway. It wouldn't hurt. Besides, I might pass out from exhaustion if I don't take a break. I nod and help Akio walk over to the nearest tree. I gently set him down, and he leans against the trunk. I plop down in the snow, my sore muscles relaxing as I finally sit. I press my hand into the snow, wincing as the cold engulfs the burn. Eventually, my hand goes numb, and the pain subsides.
"Random question, but do you think we're the only ones who survived the fight?"
I clench my jaw, thinking about Matrix, Hurricane, Ghost...even Dice. There's no way Dice survived the explosion. I'm not sure if Hurricane and Ghost got shot down, and I have no idea where Matrix is. What if he's dead? My heart aches at the thought of that, at the thought of his family. His family was the only thing he talked about more than the Matrix movies. My chest tightens at the thought of his wife and two daughters hearing about the death of their beloved dad. My mind races with worries, images of grief-stricken faces flashing before my eyes. Eyes stinging with unshed tears, I push aside the overwhelming sense of sorrow and tighten my resolve. I spent Christmas with them last year. I never thought a family could be that happy until I met them. But now, as I trudge through the desolate forest, searching for any sign of rescue, those precious memories seem so far away.
"Binky?"
It's not until then that I realized I'm staring off into space.
"I hope not," I finally answer him, "did any of your guys survive?"
Akio shrugs as he takes out two ibuprofen from his survival vest and swallows them.
"I saw a couple of my wingmen get hit by a SAM. I know they're gone...but the others—."
He shakes his head. "Everything was a blur after I got shot down. What about you? Did any of your guys make it?"
My eyes drift down to the snow. I can feel those stupid tears fighting to break through again. Dice is gone. I know that with every fiber of my being, but I can't tell what's more painful. The thought of Matrix being dead or the thought of him wandering in this frozen wasteland, alone and being hunted by an army just like us. I let out a shaky breath and look away, biting my cheek to try and stop the tears.
"I...I don't know. My backseater ejected, but...I don't know if he ever made it to the ground."
I shake my head, my lips trembling. If I had been better, maybe we would've made it. "He's probably dead, and the last thing I said to him was—. I was—I was such a douche to him. He was just being honest, just trying to help, and I was a complete jerk. It's my fault he's gone. I should've been better. I shouldn't have blacked out. I—."
The tears blurred my vision. I pull my head back, refusing to let them fall. I take in deep breaths and just stop talking.
"It's not your fault we flew into an ambush."
I shake my head, not wanting to hear it. No matter what he says, I know it won't help. It's not gonna change the fact that I wasn't good enough to get us out of that. Ambush or no ambush, it was my job to fly us out of there...and I couldn't do it. I didn't do it, and now Matrix's family, his wife, his daughters no longer have him in their lives...because of me. "Not even the best pilot in the world could've gotten through that."
I appreciate him for trying to make me feel better, but honestly, nothing he could say would change any of it. It won't change the fact the Dice is dead and that Matrix is probably dead, too. Akio sighs.
"You want to keep going?"
I take in another deep breath as the tears finally slip back into my eyes. I stand and grab his hand, pulling him up. Everything in me drains as a puff of red explodes from his chest. My mouth drops, my heart sinks as his wide eyes stare into my soul. Seconds later, a gunshot breaks the silence. I barely think as I throw his body over my shoulders and run. Shouting erupts from behind me. The bullets chase me as I run down the hill. I leap over a fallen tree and topple to the ground as I land. The bullets slam into the tree. I drag Akio behind the safety of the tree. I cradle his head.
"No, no," I croak. I place my hands over the gigantic hole in his heart. "It's okay, it's okay!"
Akio sucks in a labored breath and yanks the necklace off. His hands shake violently as he pushes it into my chest.
"Give this...to my girlfriend for me. Her name is Kasumi. Sasaki Kasumi."
I shake my head, my eyes tracing over the trail of blood sliding down the corner of his mouth. I bite my lip, ordering the tears not to break through.
"You put that back on your neck! You're gonna give it back to her yourself!" I order.
His throat bobs as he swallows hard. His hands shake uncontrollably as he places it on my lap.
"You're gonna be fine! We're gonna be rescued, and then you—you're gonna give that necklace back and—and I'll give you my gamer tag—."
"I'm not, Binky. I'm not," he croaks. My heart stops as the pain stabs through it like a dagger. His face turns white as ash before my very eyes. I clench onto his arms as if I'm clenching onto his last dying breath, refusing to let him go.
"No, hey! Look at me!"
"Run, Binky. Remember what I said. Leave me."
The air tears itself from my lungs as his eyes lock onto the sky. My blood freezes. I wait for him to blink, to breathe, to move, something. But he doesn't. It was as if I could see his soul leave out through his eyes. I flinch, ducking down as more bullets slam into the fallen tree. I curl my fingers around his necklace and squeeze his arm one last time.
"I'm sorry."
I jump up and charge in the other direction. Exhausted and afraid of what's looming behind me, I dive through the forest, jumping logs and running through yawning pits. I run and run until the silence of the frozen wasteland becomes louder than my pounding heart. Then, it becomes even louder as I stop. I have no idea how long I've been running, but judging by my aching chest, trembling legs, and screaming lungs, it's been a long time. I look over my shoulder, seeing nothing but trees and snow. I collapse to my knees, taking in deep breaths. I close my eyes only to see Akio's lifeless, bloody face. My chest heaves up and down as I hyperventilate, not being able to get in any air. I hold my breath, my heart sinking as I glance down at my gloves. I open them. His necklace and my gloves are coated with his crimson blood. My burn stings as his blood soaks into my flesh. I look down to see my shoulders and chest caked with his blood. I shove my fists into the snow, rubbing them back and forth, praying that it would melt and wash the blood off, but it doesn't. All it does is send pulses of hot pain shooting through my hand. I can't stop replaying everything in my head. The puff of blood coming out of his chest. The trail of blood flowing from the corner of his mouth. His vacant eyes staring up at me. I cry out in anguish as I yank my helmet and gloves off and slam them against the ground. I scream so many cuss words into the cold, empty air until my throat burns. I curl my fingers around my hair and shake my head. He didn't deserve this. He was just a kid. I pull my eyes down to the snow where the necklace lay next to my helmet and gloves. I ignore the throbbing in my hand. The once silver heart is now coated with his blood. I squeeze my eyes shut, forcing myself to look away. I sit there for way too long, unable to stop my brain from replaying his death over and over. His last words race through my mind.
"Run, Binky. Leave me."
I swallow hard and open my eyes again. If I don't move now, I'll end up just like him. I put my helmet and gloves back on and scoop up the necklace. I take one last look at it. The heart locket opens to reveal a small picture inside. It was a picture of Akio and his girlfriend at a park, smiling and holding each other. I quickly close the locket. Tears swell in my eyes again, but I don't let them fall. I shove the necklace into my pocket and start walking again.