"I look up from the ground to see your sad and teary eyes,
You look away from me, and I see there's something you're trying to hide."
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
COREY'S POV:
"For fucks sake." I cuss under my breath as I step out of my car. My parents caved and bought me a new car because they were fed up with me getting on their case about it.
It's a Range Rover, the same model as Willem's but in white. I don't really care much about what kind of car it is, I'm just glad that I have one so I can get around without having to rely on my best friend all the time.
"You don't have training today." The receptionist says as I walk through the main doors.
"I know." I tell her, placing my hands on the front desk.
"Have you come all this way to see me then?" She asks me, twirling a piece of her blonde hair around her fingers. It's a nice colour but the blonde just isn't as bright as I like. I shake my head before the thoughts of a certain blonde girl creep their way into my head.
Tina is a lovely woman but she's just too flirty. She flirts with every guy on the hockey team, even the ones who very openly have girlfriends. Some of the guys are into it as they know they can get something out of her easily but that's not me.
I don't do relationships but I also don't do the sleeping around with any girl who shows me the slightest bit of interest.
"As a matter of fact I have." I say, leaning my head closer to where she sits behind the desk. I said that I wasn't interested in getting something out of her, not that it wasn't fun to mess around with her. She doesn't take it to heart, she'll just move on to the next hockey player who walks through those doors.
"What could I do for you?" She asks, putting the end of her pen in her mouth and I find it difficult not to roll my eyes at the action. She can do what she likes, it's her body but does she really think I'm into this? I suppose it has worked for her with other men so she keeps doing it.
"I've come to collect my phone, I left it here after training last night. Did anyone hand it in?" I ask her. I have a lunch reservation with my family that I need to get to soon so I don't really want to pretend to be interested in her anymore.
It was fun while it lasted though.
"Oh..yeah, your coach handed it in and he said one of his boys would be here to collect it today actually." She responds, a blush rising on her cheeks due to embarrassment I can imagine. If it's embarrassment from forgetting or because I've stopped playing along, I don't know.
Tina goes out into the back to collect my phone and I use this as an opportunity to look around. It's always loud when I come here to train as it's filled with a dozen hockey players and we tend to be loud, especially when we have training.
I look at the massive windows that look into the ice rink from the reception and see that it's not busy at all, just a few of the younger skaters. But that's when I see her.
Nadia is floating around on the ice, which is something I haven't seen from her in a while. But it's not the same as it was before, she's skittish on there now whereas before she looked at ease, like it all came naturally to her.
"Here you go," Tina says, holding out my phone for me to take. "You know, if I knew it was your phone then I would've put my number in it when coach Jenson handed it in last night."
I was too busy focusing on Nadia in the ice that I didn't really listen to what she said so I mutter out a quick "Thank you."
I was going to get straight back into my car and drive to the restaurant but with the way Nadia is skating it looks like she needs someone, so I walk towards the doors that lead to the ice rink.
The closer I get to her the more that I can see her struggling and the more she struggles, the more she gets inside of her own head. I take a seat on the bench next to where her things are and Mark comes and joins me a few moments later.
"She's really struggling isn't she?" He whispers to me, as if it's something he's only just realised.
"She has been for a while." I tell him, trying not to let the anger get the best of me.
"I didn't realise it was this bad." He admits, looking to the ground and shaking his head in defeat.
"You did, you just didn't listen to her when she told you." I defend Nadia to him.
"How was I supposed to believe it? I couldn't see anything wrong with her." He says exasperated.
"By believing her. In over a decade when has she ever missed training because she was sick?" I ask him, looking directly in his eyes. "Just because you can't see anything wrong with her doesn't mean there isn't. Usually it's the things we can't see that are the real killers."
"Fuck. You're right, I should go and apologise to her." He says, standing up but I stop him before he does anymore damage.
"I know you care about her coach, but I don't think you should do that. She's still hurt about you kicking her off. Just wait till she's settled down a little first." I suggest, letting go of his arm.
"When did you become so mature?" He cracks a smile.
"When I started seeing how people started treating my best friend's sister." I admit.
"You're still doing that? When are you going to tell her?" He asks, causing me to let out a breathy laugh.
'You can walk away now." I tell him and he holds his hands up in defeat before walking back to wherever the fuck he came from.
I don't know what he wants me to tell her, that I believe her? I already have told her that and I will tell her that over and over again if it means she at least has someone in her corner.
Like I said to her in that stupid letter I wrote her, I'll believe her even when she doesn't believe herself.
It was silly of me to write that to her, I know that now. It was a spur of the moment thing, my emotions of seeing her in pain and upset got the best of me and I wanted to cheer her up. I just hope she doesn't overthink it and make it out to be something it isn't. She tends to do that with a lot of things.
When I see Mark enter the staff lounge I take my eyes off him and focus on the run down skater at the far side of the rink.
She's beautiful. Not just in the way she looks, or the way she talks. Just in the way she is. The girl has the kindest heart, but it's been broken and damaged by everything around her.
Her soul is like the moon; she has endless amounts of people next to her yet she is still so fucking alone. I imagine it's only the stars that know her real truth, her secrets.
She was sat down, giving herself a little rest but is back up on her feet ready and raring to go. It's wrong of me to be watching her whilst she's in her most vulnerable state but I can't help but be enthralled by the sight of her skating.
She was unravelling into something much stronger right before my own eyes.
She glides along, a slight wobble as she does so but then it all comes crashing down. She falls completely resulting in a loud thud to echo around the rink. Everyone turns their faces to the direction of the noise. I don't know why they do this whenever someone falls, it's normal for skaters to fall during training. The judgement that comes from other skaters is fucking unbelievable. I could never be a figure skater, the backlash that comes with ice hockey is enough for me to deal with.
After the impact she doesn't make a move to get up she just sits there for a few moments and then looks up to the faces staring at her in the rink.
"What? You never seen someone fall before?" She shouts out, tears starting to pool out of her eyes.
At this, everyone who was once staring at her turn away, not wanting to create any more of a scene than there already is.
"That's right, look away from the sick girl with the fucked up legs." She sobs, and when I think she's about to get up she hits one of her legs.
When I think she has got the tantrum over and done with it all starts again but in full force. She starts screaming, only pausing every now and then to whisper something under her breath. She's using all of her energy and both of her hands to frantically punch and slap her legs full force.
Everyone is looking at her again now so I do the noble thing and make my way over to her. As I run up to her I can't hear her screaming anymore so that's a good sign. I know that I will be ridiculed for stepping on the ice without my skates on but I don't dint give a fuck, this girl needs me.
How is it possible that I always find myself here for her when she has moments like this?
I see the coaches leaving the coaches lounge to see what the commotion is all about but I catch Mark's eye and shake my head at him, telling him I've got it covered. For professional athletes, they took their time coming out of the room.
I stand in front of her and she doesn't seem to notice me, she's still pawing at her legs just less aggressively this time because she's running out of energy.
"Why won't you work?" She says, between her weak punches. "Why won't you fucking work?"
It's heartbreaking seeing someone go from becoming one of the future's biggest skaters to a girl who can barely walk everyday.
Everyone who knows Nadia knows that the two places she has ever been truly happy were when she was with Archie and on the ice.
Both of those have now been stripped away from her, leaving her with only the memories of her past self and sometimes memories aren't enough.
For someone so young she's gone through so much pain. She's so fucking strong for dealing with it all, but she's exhausted.
I crouch down and reach out for her arms, but she doesn't stop the attempt to hit her legs. It's like she's stuck in a trance inside her mind. The more I see this girl suffer day to day, the more I hate this fucked up world.
Because why her? Why someone who has only ever done good for other people, constantly putting them above herself when she gets fuck all back for it. I can admit that I was a dick to her, but she was only ever nice to me even with how I treated her.
She's much bigger than this world, she deserves to be somewhere else entirely. Someplace bigger that'll treat her how she deserves to be treated.
She continues punching but I harden my grip on her wrists so that she can't win against my strength. It doesn't stop her trying though, she carries on going until she goes slack, running out of energy for it completely.
She looks up finally and doesn't even question why I'm here, she just starts crying even harder. I sit on the ice with her, not caring that we are in a rink with other people and she sinks her head into the crook of my neck.
I freeze, not knowing what to do with my hands and not wanting to make her uncomfortable but I wrap them around her and she lets out a startled sob. I don't think she's cried ever since she's felt like this, she seems to be letting out a whole course of emotions right now.
"Naddy, I want you to speak to me." I tell her, pulling her head out of my neck and holding her head in my hands.
If anyone was to look right now it would seem so suspicious, but I force that thought to the back of my head.
"I-" she begins, but another sob comes out so she just shakes her head, telling me she can't do it, her eyes darting around the arena.
"You can. Ignore everyone else. It's just me and you in here. Talk to me, please." I beg her. I don't care if I'm being soft, it's better than her keeping every thought that goes through her pretty little head.
"Why won't they work, Corey?" She whispers, looking down to her legs as a single tear slips out.
"That's not a question I have the answer to. But we will find you the answers soon enough. You've got me, Willem, your mum and dad on your side." I tell her, wiping my thumb underneath her eye to get rid of the rogue tear.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" She asks me as if she thinks she doesn't deserve it.
"I'm not being nice, I just believe you and you don't know what it's like to be believed yet," I say, standing back up on my feet. "Why were you skating anyway? You know it's not safe to skate when you're stressed."
"There is nothing more painful than waiting around for something that I know will never happen, but it's even harder to give up the only thing I've ever wanted." She sticks her hand out, silently asking me to pull her up from the ice.
"What do you mean?" I query, looking around to make sure everyone isn't still looking here after the whole outburst earlier.
"Didn't you hear? Mark gave my spot to someone else and nobody but me gives a shit." She says, swaying on her legs slightly so I grab her hips on reflex.
"I did hear about that, yes, are you drunk?" I ask her, I know she's not but I have to make sure.
"You know nothing so don't pretend to care now, Corey." She spits, adjusting herself so she can get out my grip on her waist.
Pain has changed her; it's made her into someone who overthinks and doesn't trust people so she ends up shutting them out, shutting me out.
Did she forget about our today, tomorrow, forever promise?
"Come on," I hold my hands out and she looks at them suspiciously. "Collapse into me just this once, I'll make sure you'll never have to fall again."
"Where are we going?" She asks me as she takes my hands, but I don't say anything and just drag her along the ice with me.
I wish I put my skates on now but she seems to be having just as much fun going at this pace. I walk around the ice backwards and she glides following me. By doing this, she doesn't have to move her legs and just focus on standing up and holding onto me.
I hope it's helping to take her mind off her thoughts, and hopefully even the pain slightly. The girl's face is very unreadable sometimes. I let go of one of her hands and twist her so that she does a spin.
A massive grin takes over her face, and I'll be damned if it wasn't the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
I catch her after the spin as she loses balance a little but neither of us make a move to scramble away from each other.
I stare into the stars in her eyes and see her for all she is because stars are better when broken, right?
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───