Cassandra Reid
I look at him and I am not able to believe he is in front of me.
I feel a tension in my abdomen that does not let me breathe.
In the beginning I thought to be hallucinating, but he is him. The paralyzing voice, indecipherable face next to the voluminous body that makes me feel tiny and diabolical appearance of him always.
His ambering eyes observe me restless from head to toe, making me feel naked.
A little tremor is installed in my hands and intersects them so as not to show weakness I feel.
He is here! Dean is here.
"Mrs. Di Lauro, are you still there?", I hear my secretary's voice on the other side of the line very distant as well as the noise of the party. I am like in a kind of trance. "Doctor?"
I hang without even having awareness of my actions. I think I've stopped breathing.
"How...?"
"Happy New Year, Love". He doesn't let me finish. "Did you miss me?"
I want to talk, but my mouth refuses to move. What has he come for?
"I ... ". I am interrupted by my husband's call and then, I am attacked by an ice wind, which leaves me nailed to my place as a statue.
If both men meet each other, what would happen?
My teeth begin to vibrate involuntarily and I squeeze the jaw with all my strength to prevent it.
My ex follows my gaze to meet the same image as me. Then he returns to his previous position to show that smile which secludes his pseudonym.
"As much as you run, you can't escape me, Cass", he says with a tone that shudders every bone from my body. My legs have suddenly become weak and I am afraid of not being able to sustain myself. "You have a debt with me, love. Don't miss me too much, we'll see each other very soon".
I remain in the same position as long as I see him get away. I don't have time to reflect much, since Adriano reaches me right away.
"Why did you take so long?". The burning look linked to the seductive voice kills me and the bewilder is multiplied by a thousand. "You have something here".
I can't stand such intensity. I have a lump of sensations installed in my stomach and I am afraid collapsing once it explodes.
"Ready", he has the brand of his feat with my dress's sleeve, and then extend the bowl full of grapes next to red wine cup and guide me outside the house.
I can't do anything else but get carried away by automatic mode.
I was always aware that at some point I would have to face my former promised and deal with my past's decisions, but not so suddenly, without warning and with bad taste messages.
'What does he intend?'
Why does he look for me now after almost three years?
Regressive count begins and I am embelceded contemplating fireworks.
"Happy New Year, cara". The italian caresses me the sensitive skin of ear with his nose before introducing a fruit in my mouth and snacking our glasses.
I end up chewing in slow motion while taking the red liquid to my lips and swallow everything while I am looking at him.
"Happy New Year, Husband", I feel like I have spoken for first time in a long time.
He is so handsome...
A single kiss from him and I just forget rest of the world.
I would have liked to meet him before, when he had not yet closed to emotions and instead I was trapped in my sad reality. Perhaps the facts had been given otherwise and I would not have had to flee in the first place. Maybe we would have ...
'But what am I thinking?'
'No', a little voice in my head replies. 'The correct question is, what are you feeling?"'
'Feeling?'
'Part B will guarantee the non -disposition to develop a romantic relationship with Part A. Otherwise, this contract will be annulled with immediate effect', I remember the most important clause of the agreement.
'You can't fall in love with him, Cassandra'
'It's not real'
I repeat phrases again and again in my mind until I manage to calm down a little. Then, the imposing figure of the devil Frost reappears in front of my eyes.
'What happens?', my husband asks while closing my field of vision. However, I still see Dean even after closing my eyes. Adriano poses his hands on my shoulders and an involuntary tremor shakes my body violently. "Are you cold?"
My legs are shaking and he must sustain me to avoid me not to hit myself against the ground.
"Cassandra?"
"I ...". I hesitate.
'What happens to me?'
'Am I suffering a panic attack?'
"I don't feel well. We can go home?"
The Italian refers to covering my shoulders with his sack and nod before saying goodbye to guests with few words. By the counter, I can only laugh without even opening my mouth.
I'm scared? The answer is clear: Yes. I fear for me, because I have damaged someone with my decisions to such an extent that he wishes to return the blow. I fear so much what Adriano can think or ask and how I can feel about it.
"We will leave the kids here", he reports as we head towards the car, of course, surrounded by his gorillas. Not even my father had so much safety.
Phone vibrates in my hand announcing a call, but I do not dare to look at it. Therefore, I inhale with force while recringing my head on the back of the seat and I close my eyes to finish exhaling.
Night was being magical. How did it change from one moment to another? It's as if last days I would have been living inside a bubble.
The cell phone continues to sound, but I ignore it. However, when I opened my eyes I find my husband's inquisitive look.
"Do not you plan to answer?". He looks at my hand with interest. "Who is Gia?"
'Gia!', I remember.
Immediately I raise the phone to toure with five missed calls. I had forgotten her completely.
"She is my secretary", I answer while sending a quick message. Right now I do not want to talk to anyone.
In less than five minutes we arrived at the mansion. In other circumstances I would ask him funny why we traveled by car to go around the corner, but now I am too nervous.
When I get off the car, a notification of a message jumps and automatically, I'm going to read it thinking that is my secretary. However, my worst fear comes true when viewing the screen.
'I wait for you tomorrow at ten o'clock in the cafe pavillion. If you do not come, I'll get angry and I'll go find you and you know I do not behave very well when I get angry, love'.
The knot bursts and I can not resist more. A drop of cold sweat runs on my back at the same time as hands make me butter. Unable to avoid it, phone falls from my hands.
"Cassandra?". My husband returns to his steps to approach me. "What's going on?"
I see him crouching to pick up the device and I try to stop him, but my own body does not respond.
Little by little, he stands up without looking away from cell phone's screen. Tension in his muscles is visible next to contained anger. It's as if everything happened in front of my eyes in slow motion without being able to do anything at all.
"Why did not fucking cell phone break?'
"Adriano..."
"What does this mean?". He faces me with his burning blue spheres. "Since when do you communicate with your ex boyfriend?"
My eyes open wide as if they were going to get out of my body.
'How does he know Dean's number?'
"Answer me, Cassandra".
I take a deep breath and I drink saliva to return to my five senses. Definitely the honeymoon has finished.
"We have to talk, Adriano".