Chapter Thirty: Rough
Lincoln
I set her down on the bed and grab her one of my t-shirts and a pair of sweatpants to change into. The clothing engulfs her, and if this were under better circumstances I'd tell her how beautiful she looked in my clothes, but instead, I go into the kitchen to make the cocoa, carrying two hot and steamy mugs back into the bedroom a few minutes later. When I pass one over to her, she sends me a grateful smile as I crawl into bed and sit cross-legged opposite of her.
She circles the rim of her mug with her fingertips, taking a few sips before she says, "I get uncomfortable talking about what happened."
"You don't have to tell me. I'm not expecting you to, but if you need someone to talk to about it then I want you to know that I'll be honored if it's me."
She nods and stares down into her mug, pursing her lips before she finally lets out a sigh. "When I was in high school, back in LA, I met this guy in a youth group at church. My parents were really religious, or are, I should say, and I remember being so scared to even talk to a boy, but he was persistent. It was like he was infatuated with me, and couldn't even keep his eyes off of me. At the time, I thought that was romantic, but later I realized...it was dangerous that he was so into me.
"He called my dad and asked for permission to take me on a date, and I thought that was the sweetest thing. We went bowling, and he was so attentive, so considerate, and so...perfect. It was almost too good to be true."
My body is already prickling with an absolute fury that someone had the nerve to make her feel like that and break her down at the same time. I'm trying to keep my rage under control, but I'm clutching my mug of cocoa with so much force that my knuckles are white.
"Six months into our relationship he was pressuring me about sex. He'd get frustrated when I wouldn't go further than third base, but I had promised my parents that I'd wait until marriage. I had a purity ring, I mean hell, I was only fifteen. His dad was the pastor of the church for crying out loud, so I never understood why sex wasn't more meaningful to him. I assumed his parents brought him up to understand it was a sacred thing, you know? Maybe that's why I stayed and kept giving him the benefit of the doubt, thinking he'd change."
I'm not able to let her talk about this any longer without holding her in my arms. I lean over to set my cup of cocoa on the side table and tug her into my lap. She smiles softly and rests her head on my shoulder before she continues.
"The summer after I had turned sixteen, he asked me to come over to his house. His parents were off on a trip of some sort, so he had the place to himself. We were making out, and he was on top of me, and he tried to put his hands in my pants, but I...I told him to stop. I didn't want it to continue, but he—" She chokes out a sob but somehow finds the strength to keep talking. "He pressed me down into the mattress and I remember not being able to breathe. I tried to pry him off of me, but he was too strong, and he wouldn't let me move, and the weight of his body was suffocating. There are nights when I'll still wake up with that feeling. Like a ton of bricks is on my chest."
The nightmare. I clear my throat to try and keep my emotions at bay, placing a kiss on the top of her head to try and give her the reassurance to continue.
"Sienna..." I wipe away a tear that's fallen onto my cheek, not quite sure if I'm able to hear the rest of her story. I want to be here for her though, so I let out a deep breath and run my fingertips up and down her back, sending her the courage to finish.
"When it was done, he told me I'd never belong to anyone else, and when I got home, I was so shaken up. Visible bite marks were all over my body, and I collapsed in the foyer of my house right in front of my parents, sobbing uncontrollably. I begged them to take me to the police, to let them know what he had done to me and file some sort of report, but my parents wanted to keep it under wraps. His father was the pastor of the church, and my parents told me no one would believe me if I tried to report it. They cared more about our family's reputation than me and I—" She loses it now, letting her tears flow on my bare chest.
"I think that hurt more than what he did, Lincoln. I've never said that before, but it's true. Not having their support broke me, and after a while, I eventually began to think they didn't believe me either. And for the next two years, he'd find me alone at the church, and he'd do it again. And I knew that no matter what I did, no one would believe me. My parents wouldn't let me stop going to church. They'd make us continue to go as a family every Sunday, and every Sunday— They'd know that I was around my abuser and didn't do anything about it. They still smiled at his parents. They still donated to their church. They didn't do a fucking thing to stop him from hurting me."
My throat bobs as I search for some sort of advice, some sort of reassurance, but I have nothing. Not a damn thing except a new fire lit under my ass to find this fucker. The more I'm learning about him, the more I think Reed's information was true about the threats, and I swear on everything I love, if her ex tries to come after her and hurt her again, I'll kill him with my bare hands without any questions asked. I'd kill for her in a heartbeat.
"Everyone always asks how I started a business so young, and it's because I had no other option but to get out of town when I was eighteen. I made sure I had enough to where I could move across the country and get the hell away from there. I never said goodbye to my parents, but I don't regret it. I don't think I ever will."
"You shouldn't," I snap, and it's not until now that I realize just how riled up I've become. I let out a deep breath and kiss her head again. "Sorry, I just...hearing what happened to you makes me so fucking angry, Sienna. You didn't deserve that, and I can't imagine... I mean, I put you in the same position he used to..."
"No, stop," she says and tilts her face up to mine, grasping my cheek gently. "You are nothing like him, Lincoln. When I told you to stop, that was all it took for you to get off of me. One word. You are the complete opposite of him. Even when Reed and I dated, he would sometimes pressure me, and I think that's why I never slept with him."
My eyes widen in shock. "Wait, you and Reed never slept together?"
"No." She smiles softly and heat rises to her cheeks when she sees the expression on my face. She trusted me enough to be the first person to have sex with after all of those horrible, horrible things that happened to her. I'm honored, I'm...so in love with her. I promise to never make her feel afraid about sex again. She will always be comfortable with me. Loved. Heard. Understood. "It's different with you, Linc, and I don't want to go back to just having sex. I want...more. I want a relationship, I think, if that's okay with you. I mean, if that's what you want, too."
I smile a full-toothed grin at her, which causes her to laugh. "You want me to be your boyfriend?"
"If you want," she says.
"There's nothing I would want more, Sienna, than to be your boyfriend, and I just want you to know how grateful and honored I am that you chose me to confide in and trust with that story. As your boyfriend, I'm going to make sure that you experience all of the things you never got to. Patience, understanding, being heard, feeling loved and appreciated. You deserve all of that and more, and as naive as I am as you are about dating, I know that I'm going to treat you right."
"And I know that," she replies, "which was why it was so hard for me to make a decision about us. I'm so fucked up, Linc, in more ways than one. I look for an escape route every place I go. Knowing where the closest weapon is in someone's house makes me feel safest. To go someplace new, somewhere I don't know, I have mini anxiety attacks. It's a lot for anyone to handle. I'm a lot."
"And yet here I am, handling it all. You're not too much for me. You're perfect for me."
She laughs. "Even if I force you to watch The Bachelor every week?"
"Even then," I promise.
Sienna crawls out of my lap to place the mug of cocoa I gave her beside mine on the nightstand, and then she straddles my waist, placing a kiss on the corner of my mouth, her hand squeezing my cock over my gym shorts. I'm hard in seconds, earning a smile from her. "Want to try this again?" She asks.
As good as her hands feel stroking my cock, I also know how many emotions she's run through tonight. I'd want nothing more than to be consumed by her wet pussy—to lick her clean and squeeze her tits and make her come all over my face, but is she ready for that?
"You don't want to wait until the morning?" I ask.
She creates an adorable little pout with her lips, sagging her shoulders and falling onto her back on my bed with a loud sigh. "It's been two weeks and I'm horny, okay? I've missed you. I know I just unloaded a lot on you, but I came here tonight with every intention of it resulting in sex. Lots of it."
Relaxing on the bed beside her, I tug her back against me so that her ass is against my hard cock, chuckling when she wiggles against it, teasing the hell out of me. "Dirty thing," I whisper, licking her ear. My hand slips underneath the waistband of my sweatpants on her. "You need to come? Is that why you're wiggling against my cock?"
She nods, the mood of the room shifting immediately. The temperature rises between us as she continues to grind that little ass against me, and although I won't be inside of her tonight, I can make her come. She deserves that. She deserves to come exactly how she wants to.
"Tell me how you want to be pleased, Sienna," I mutter lowly into her ear, licking that earlobe of hers again. "You'll never be forced to do anything again, you hear me? You call the shots with me. I'll fucking worship every inch of this body if you ask me to."
"Get inside of me then," she pants.
"Anything except that tonight. Literally anything else."
She pulls away from me and shimmies out of my sweatpants, tossing them over the bed and onto the floor. Her eyes are hungry and filled with need as she says, "I want you to eat my pussy. Fast and...rough. So rough."
Oh, my cock is throbbing for her. It's pulsating, begging for release from these shorts, but I push my desire down and scan her face, making sure this is what she really wants. Rough is how I like it best, but how rough can I be with her? I don't want to trigger her again.
"How rough?" I ask.
"Lincoln, I get that I have a fragile past, but as long as you're not on top of me, I'm fine. I want you to fuck me with your tongue as roughly as you can. Do whatever you fucking want for the love of god, just please—"
Cutting her off, I flip her onto her stomach and hit her ass with a loud crack. Sienna screams out a yes, and my cock gets that much harder. She likes it. She likes the pain. "Such a dirty girl," I mutter, another loud crack filling the room as her ass turns a bright pink for me. Fuck, that's so hot. "My dirty girl," I remind her, and I'm awarded a whimper. "Hands and knees, Sienna."
She follows my commands so well, willingly getting onto all fours in front of me. I'm on my knees behind her, leaning over to press her back down so that her chest meets the comforter, her head turned to the side so that she can breathe. The view of her ass up in the air for me is breathtaking. "Stay just like that," I tell her. "Be a good girl and don't move."
She nods, her legs beginning to quiver, and I'm about to ask if she's okay until she begs, "please."
Oh, hell. I don't need to hear anything else. I lay down on my stomach and feast on her, ravishing every drop of wetness that's formed for me. Sienna, always loud just like I love during sex, cries out and grinds on my tongue. I let her do it because tonight isn't about me. It's about her and the pleasure she deserves, so I stick my tongue out and continue to let her ride it, slipping it inside of her and then back out, and then she grinds along my face, a smirk forming on my mouth when she makes my tongue go into her ass, another cry of pleasure releasing from her.
Dirty fucking girl.
I slip my tongue deeper into her ass and take over now, spreading her with my hands so I have room to breathe. She's no longer on all fours. Her knees are on either side of my head, so I roll onto my back to have her sit completely on my face. I'm slurping her up, drinking her down, making it as dirty as she requested, and Sienna is loving every bit of it. "Fuck, I love it when you fucking do that," she says through gritted teeth. "You're so fucking nasty, Lincoln. It's sexy as hell."
I smack her ass with both of my hands, pushing her down more onto my face. I'm so turned on that I don't know how to control myself. I want to erupt inside of her. I want to watch my come fill her up and seep back out. I want to stroke my cock to give myself pleasure, but she's my priority right now.
My face is dripping wet, and I'm suffocating, so I move my tongue out of her ass to run it to her clit, fluttering my tongue repeatedly. I'm trying to blink through all the wetness in my eyes, loving every second of this. I missed her so fucking much, and I plan to apologize to her just like this for the rest of eternity.
"I'm going to come," she gasps, and a part of me hopes she squirts. I want to taste it. I want to end this night with her release covering every inch of my face.
"You better fucking come for me," I mutter harshly and slap her ass again. Hard. "My dirty fucking girl. Come for me. Be a good girl and come."
"Fucking, hell!" She screams, and yes, she squirts right on my face. I laugh from how turned on I am, letting it run down my nose, right to my tongue, and then I'm lapping up every bit of her, running my tongue around her sensitive clit until she heaves out a sigh and collapses beside me, panting and out of breath. "Keep the sex just like that," she says with a smile on her face.
I turn my head to hers. "Rough?"
"Yes," she agrees. "Rough."