hi everyone,
as of last night I have officially finished writing this fic. Now I just have to post it all. it's kind of crazy because over the years i've started dozens of fics but this is the first one i've managed to finish since 2018. I really hope you like the rest of it <3
We check into the hotel quickly and drop off our things, then meet Leon and Hop. The café is pretty big, and mercifully quiet, and has more pastries than any other place I've ever been. It's the perfect place to catch up with Leon and Hop, and we order coffees and teas and sit at one of the longer tables upstairs, so that no one can spy us through the window and come in to invade our privacy.
I'm as far away from Goh as I can get, with Leon opposite me and Dawn beside me. Chloe is beside Leon, and then Hop, and Goh is on the other side of Dawn, completely blocked from my view. I know Hop placed himself opposite Goh for a reason, and now Goh would have to be stupid to not realise he's flirting, because they've been talking between themselves for twenty minutes now, while the rest of us talk in a group. I keep hearing Goh giggle, and it's making it hard to ignore them.
"You're just like me when I was your age, but even better" Leon says, shaking his head. "It's incredible to watch you battle."
"Except I enjoy the fame less," I sigh.
"I think you secretly enjoy it," he argues, shooting me a wink. "Besides, it comes with the territory. I'm glad it's calmed down for me now."
"How's Sonia?" Chloe asks, sipping her coffee.
"Vicious," he answers, and I laugh. Sonia was always good at keeping Leon on his toes. "Anyone special in your life, Ash?"
I just stop myself from looking over to Goh, because that would give me away far too much. I tense my jaw and shake my head. "Not really, no."
"That's a shame," Leon says, leaning back in his seat, arms crossed over his chest.
"His true love is battling," Dawn says mockingly, making kissing noises into the air, and I turn to glare at her. Chloe joins in, making even louder kissing noises into the air, which catches Goh and Hop's attention, bringing them back into the group.
"Well, now seems as good a time as ever to say it," Leon starts, sitting up straighter, addressing us all. "We only found out a week ago, so you're the first ones I'm telling." He smiles, and I'm genuinely baffled as to what he's talking about until he speaks again. "Sonia's pregnant."
The news hits me like a truck, surprising me so much I almost jump up out of my seat. Beside me, Dawn squeals. "Congratulations!" she shouts, clapping her hands.
"That's amazing news," I say, grinning over at him, because I can tell how excited he is just by looking into his eyes. In the years after the PWC, I spent quite a lot of time with him, and he mentored me, almost like a father figure would. That's how I know he'll be a great dad.
We talk about the baby for a while, until Leon says he needs to get back to Sonia, and promises to give me updates about it. Hop hangs around after Leon leaves, and when Chloe and Dawn stand up to leave too, to get ready for the date Dawn has planned for them tonight, I hear Hop ask Goh to hang out longer. My heart sinks as Goh stumbles over his words, but eventually agrees, meaning I'll be alone.
I try to ignore the burning sensation as I walk back to the hotel with Dawn and Chloe, but honestly it makes me mad, even though I have no right to be.
"I don't think Goh likes Hop that way," Chloe tries to reassure me in the elevator of the hotel we checked into, but it doesn't work, and it doesn't change the fact that I'm spending the night alone now. I have the two tickets to the show, which I can only use tonight because we have to move on tomorrow, and no one to go with me, unless I ask Leon, who's probably busy with Sonia.
In the hotel room, I sit on the bed and turn on the TV in an attempt to distract myself, but all I can think about is Goh and Hop. I torture myself with images of them getting along well, and kissing, or coming back here together. They make me even more annoyed, until I'm in a terrible mood, sitting in bed with my arms crossed over my chest, glaring at the TV but not really taking anything in. I don't even really know what I'm watching. Hop has every right to pursue Goh. It's not like I've tried. It's just the thought of Goh being into it that terrifies me.
We only have two nights left after tonight, so we're just travelling through Stow-on-Side to Ballonlea tomorrow, where we'll stay the night before heading back to Wyndon for the last night. My flight is early in the morning the next day. Dawn and Chloe's is soon after. I have no idea what Goh has planned, but thinking about it makes me even more depressed.
Pikachu is curled up in my lap, snoring lightly. I glance at the clock on the wall and see it's nearly seven. The show is on at half seven. Oh well. At least I didn't pay for the tickets.
A gentle knock on my door makes me jump slightly, waking Pikachu up. I call for whoever it is to come in, stroking Pikachu's head in apology. The door swings open slowly, and Goh pops his head in. My heart does a literal somersault in my chest and I sit up a little more as he steps inside, looking at the TV.
"You're watching a dance competition?" He asks, raising an eyebrow. I look at the TV and see that I am actually watching a dance competition, apparently. I really hadn't been paying attention. I reach for the remote and turn it off quickly, nervous now that he's here, and itching to ask what happened with Hop. Why did he come here after?
"I wasn't paying attention," I sigh, throwing the remote control back down on the bed. "What's up?"
"Well, we have to leave now if you want to catch that show." He points to the tickets on the table beside the bed. I blink over at him, the breath rushing out of me. He came back in time to catch the show with me, knowing I wouldn't go alone. I swallow hard, trying to fight back the butterflies climbing up into my head.
"You want to go?" I manage to ask. Pikachu hops off my lap, letting me stand.
"Sure." He shrugs, hands stuck in his pockets.
"Alright," I say, picking up the tickets, suddenly nervous. This feels dangerously like a date, and that exhilarates me.
The theatre is just a few streets away, so we can walk, but I grab a jacket in case it's cold. Goh's already wearing his. We head out, silent in the elevator and while we walk through the lobby, but once we're outside the question spills out.
"I thought you were with Hop?" I say as casually as I can manage.
Goh's face twists a little. "Yeah. I told him you'd already asked me to come with you so I could leave."
"Why?"
He shrugs. "He's not my type."
Then what is your type? I want to ask, but I don't. Relief floods over me, and I realise I've worked myself up for hours for no reason. "So he was flirting with you," I say.
He smiles, nodding. "Trying to."
I laugh, and we fall back into a comfortable silence, turning the corner onto the street the theatre is at the end of. "I'm surprised he didn't flirt with you instead," Goh says, picking up the conversation I thought was finished. "I assumed you'd be everyone's type."
A jolt runs through my heart so strong I almost stop dead on the street. He says the words so casually, considering he's suggesting I'm his type too. A second passes, and I scramble for words, because Goh turns to look at me, his face neutral. "Well, he isn't my type either, I don't think."
Goh inclines his head in sort of a half-nod then goes back to looking down the street. My pulse is going absolutely crazy right now. He surely isn't interested in me, or he wouldn't say something like that so casually, right? Or maybe he just didn't realise how it sounded. Now this show is really starting to seem like a date, but I can't let myself think that or I really will go crazy when we separate in a couple of days.
We reach the theatre, and I flash my tickets. We have good seats, and the show is surprisingly good. I had worried it wouldn't be my thing, but I enjoy it, and I can tell Goh does too. When the show finishes it's after nine, and dark outside. Stepping out into the cold night air feels like stepping out into another world, and I pause on the sidewalk, unsure whether we're heading back or not. It feels risky to ask if he wants to go elsewhere, like that might sound like I'm asking him on a date.
Goh nudges my shoulder as he comes up beside me. "You love musicals," he says, grinning. I scoff.
"I do not."
"You so do," he laughs, his shoulder still touching mine. My heart is in my throat, and I want to take his hand and run away with him, and I feel so stupid for it. He reaches into his pocket and turns his phone back on, the screen bright on his face, and he frowns. "Ah. Hop got my number and wants to go for a drink. Guess I'll have to tell him the truth."
"You're not going?" I ask, biting the inside of my lip.
"Nah." He shoves his phone back in his pocket and turns to me. "But we can, if you want."
"Sure," I say casually, as though my heart isn't ramming its way through my ribcage, making me dizzy. "Where do you want to go?"
He looks around the street and spots a bar with neon lights flashing bright above it over the street. He points at it. "There?"
We head over the road silently, heading into the dark bar. It's pretty busy inside, and cheery tunes are playing loud through the speakers. It smells like wood and spices in here, and the dim, warm lighting gives it a nice atmosphere. It's the nicest bar we've been into so far, that's for sure.
We order a drink and Goh sits in one of the booths. I follow him, shrugging my jacket off and sitting opposite him. He pulls out his phone, saying he's just going to explain to Hop, and swipes his fingers over the screen quickly. I wonder what exactly he's telling him to let him down. I want to ask him if this is a date, but I can't bring myself to, because there's no way he sees it that way. We're friends now.
We talk for a long while over three or four drinks, until I feel my control slipping away and start to slow down, knowing I might do something I regret if I drink too much. We start to talk about CCU, and Goh asks:
"Who's your roommate there?"
"His name is Nate," I say, and I can't really think of much else to say. Goh raises an eyebrow.
"Is he your type?"
I consider the question, then shake my head, grimacing. "No, definitely not. He's a nice guy, though."
"Do you even have a type? Have you figured that out yet?" He asks quietly, leaning over the table a little.
Yes. You. "I think so?"
The conversation drifts back to a more normal subject, until Goh seems to remember something and pulls out his phone. He starts to slide out of the booth, and for a second I think he's leaving, but then he moves over and slides in beside me, his leg touching mine, and I bristle, goosebumps running up the length of my body.
He holds out his phone, scrolling through pictures he wanted to show me. We both lean over his phone as he shows me pictures of legendary Pokémon- Giratina, Jirachi, Arceus, and even Rayquaza, somehow. I turn to chat to him while he scrolls, asking how and when he met them, and he answers me, his face just inches from mine, his eyes sparkling with excitement as he explains.
When he's done, he moves away a little, but stays sitting beside me. A sudden silence falls over us, and looking over I can tell his mood has changed. He's frowning down into the empty glass of his fifth or sixth drink.
"What is it?" I ask gently.
He shakes his head. "I just feel awful. All of those years we wasted, when we could have been like this. You should have been with me for all of these." He gestures with his phone. My breath catches in my throat, which is closing up. He turns to face me, still frowning. "I don't really mind if this makes me sound insane, but you're still my best friend. How crazy is that?"
"You- Really?" I ask breathlessly.
"You probably think that's weird. We've barely been speaking again for a week." He sighs. "I can't really explain it."
I shake my head quickly. "I don't think it's weird, Goh. I just- I guess I'm still adjusting. But I do want us to be like that again."
"Me too," he says, his eyes on fire.
"So you'll keep in touch?" I ask hopefully, clenching my fists together under the table. "When we leave here?"
"Of course," he says, and a rush of adrenaline shoots up to my brain. The relief I feel is immense. I've spent the last couple days stressing he'd never call, and we'd fade into strangers again. I almost laugh. He thinks he's crazy for calling me his best friend, and thinks I'll find him weird, when I'm in love with him. If only he knew.
There's a few seconds of silence as we stare at each other, neither of us breaking eye contact. Then, for a moment, Goh's eyes flick down, as though he's looking at my jaw, and he leans in, ever so slightly. I freeze, but just as quick he's moved away again. He shakes his head, smiling again. "Okay, enough of that. Come on. Let's dance."
He reaches out and takes my hand, tugging me out of the booth, and I feel weightless as I let him lead me onto the dancefloor, filled with people dancing with friends or grinding up against partners. I can tell he's drunk, and I'm not quite on that level yet, but I don't care.
We spend the next hour dancing wildly together. Goh carries on drinking even after I've slowed down. I laugh when he almost trips over and I have to catch him. I think, as we're moving together without a care, that this might be the happiest I've ever been. Fully distracted from my feelings, this is enough for now- that he's here with me, and he seems happy. That's more than I could have ever hoped for. The cold walls he had built up to keep me out have completely melted, and he's letting me in again.
The bar doesn't stay open too late, and when it announces it's closing, I help Goh to the door, because he's very drunk. It's cute, the way he's babbling to me about silly things, like how much he wishes I'd seen the sky the night they found Jirachi, because the Northern Lights had shimmered over the horizon. I listen to him without speaking, my heart and face warm, an overwhelming feeling building in my chest, threatening to burst.
"Which room are you in?" I ask as we step out of the bar. He almost stumbles, and I take his arm, throwing it over my shoulder so he can use me to balance himself.
"211, I think?" He says. I laugh at his unsure tone and start to walk him down the street. It takes twice as long as it did to get there, but I'm glad for the extra time with him. I love him even more like this, when his guard is completely down.
When we enter the hotel lobby, he mumbles something to me that I don't catch.
"What?" I ask, looking down at him.
"Thank you. For looking after me," he says, like he's about to cry. I laugh and ruffle his hair, then press the button on the elevator.
When we reach his room, I guide him to his bed, which he falls on, still dressed. I grab one of the glasses and fill it with water, instructing him to drink it so he isn't mortally hungover in the morning. He takes a small sip and kicks his shoes off, sliding under his covers.
He pulls them up to his chin and closes his eyes, smiling like it's the comfiest bed ever. I know it's not, because mine is uncomfortable as hell, but I smile at him, and start to back out of the room.
"Thank you," he slurs again from the bed, and I pause at the door, turning back to him. "You're a really good friend. I love you."
I freeze, my hand on the door handle, an unexplainable feeling running down my whole body. I can't move, and I can't speak, but it doesn't matter anyway, because his head is turned to the side now, and he's asleep.
I close my eyes and try to focus my breathing, turning the handle with my trembling hand and stepping out into the hallway. I close the door and lean back on it, my chest rising and falling heavily. He's drunk. He didn't mean it like that. He said I was a good friend. He meant it platonically. I repeat those words over and over to myself, but still... He said those words.
I walk on shaky legs back to my own room, where Pikachu is waiting. They didn't allow Pokémon into the show out of their ball, so he'd stayed here. He's probably wondering where I've been, but I can't even bring myself to speak. I head straight into the bathroom and splash cold water on my face several times, gathering my thoughts.
Tomorrow he probably won't even remember how he was acting tonight. I can't think too much into it. I undress and step back out, grabbing a t-shirt and sleep shorts, and climb into bed beside Pikachu, who's looking at me quizzically, sensing my strange mood no doubt.
"I'll tell you tomorrow," I say, and he seems satisfied with that, curling back up beside me. I lay awake in the dark, staring at the ceiling. If my brain was fried before, it's burnt to a crisp now.