Alex's pov age 16
For the first time in my life I was spanked, but not forgiven.
••••
It's a week into summer vacation and I'm staying with Ollie.
It's been great so far. I haven't been scolded, spanked, or even swatted once! I haven't heard one "little boy", "young man", or "Alexander" either. Ollie is just more patient and more laid back than Ryley. I swore at him while he was helping me pack, and Ryley would have at least popped me but Ollie just told me off.
Lying is a serious offense to both of my brothers. It's near impossible to tell a lie and get away with it. I'd say 98% of the time I lie ends up with me crying over over of thier knees. Do I learn not to lie? Yes. For about a week.
"Where ya going?" Ollie asked, popping his head out of the kitchen. "Park." I smiled. Josiah's house. "Now? It's kinda late." He questioned. "I won't be out long. And there's less people there when its later." I said casually. "Hmm okay. Ten o' clock latest." He hummed, going back to scrubbing dishes. "Okay." I said, walking out of the door. I'll definitely be later than that.
•••
I glanced at my phone, even though the loud music coming through the walls already told me I had the right house.
I shoved my hands in my hoodie and walked inside. I tried to keep close to myself, weaving in and out of crowds. I hate being touched and I'm basically in a conga line.
I don't even know where I'm going, I just kept shoving until I heard someone call my name. "Alex!" Grayson smiled, pulling me out of a mini crowd and into the kitchen. "Hey." I nodded, finally able to breathe. "I almost didn't believe you when you said you'd be back this summer." Josiah said from behind us. I turned around and gave a shy smile. "Do you drink?" He asked, giving me a guilty smile. "Definitely." I nodded, accepting the shot pushed my way.
•••
It was loud. Too loud. And I don't think I'm alone.
I look to my left and see Grayson laying next to me, looking halfway dead. What time is it?
I feel around for my phone, not finding it. I shrug it off, feeling too sick to care. I can't even remember what all I did. What happened?
"Alex!" Cammy laughs watching me down my shot, and hers. "Damn kid, you really can drink." Josiah smirked, pouring me another one.
My head hurts. And I think I'm missing a shoe. Where's my shoe?
"Come onnnn!" I whined, climbing out of the window barely big enough to fit through. Grayson rolled his eyes before following ke out onto the roof. I dangled my feet over the side, feeling the cool air on my flushed face. I closed my eyes, listening to the music as it vibrates my bones. Everything feels so intense, definitely from the alcohol.
Eventually Taylor notices us missing and makes us come inside, my shoe getting knocked loose on the latch.
My throat is dry, very dry. Did I smoke?
"Couldn't get him to do it the first time and now he won't share!" Josiah laughs, shoving my shoulder. I rolled my eyes and took another hit before passing it.
I'm so dead. I eventually manage to pull myself up. I wobble down the hall until I find the bathroom. Wow. My hair is frizzy and sticking up, my hoodie is wrinkled and definitely has spilled beer on it and...is that a hickie?!
God, please spare me at least a little. Maybe it's a bruise. How the fuck do you bruise your neck dumbass? Okay okay, it's a hickie but that doesn't mean I did anything.
"Truth or dare?" Josiah smirked. "Um dare, I guess." I shrugged. "I dare you to kiss Cam." He laughed, taking a swig of his beer. I could feel my face get impossibly hotter. I've never kissed a girl. My eyes met hers nervously, and she looked just as shocked as I was. I've never kissed a girl before.
Wait if I only remember the kiss, how did this happen?
Rrriiinnngggg
Rrrriiinnnggg
Rrrriiinnnggg
"That's my phone." I said to myself and raced out of the bathroom. I followed the sound to the kitchen and dug my phone out of a bag of chips.
"Holy shit." I mumbled. It was six am. And Ollie was calling me nonstop.
I immediately called him back and nervously pressed the phone to my ear. It didn't even get passed the first ring before my brother's voice flooded my senses.
"Where the fuck are you?" He hissed. "I- um. At a friend's." I stuttered. "At a friend's? I was so fucking worried about you all night. Ryley had to convince me not to go looking for you! And you were at a friend's?!" He screamed. Hot tears ran down my face, landing in pools on the counter. I just sobbed, listening to my brother yell at me. "Send me your location I'm coming to get you." He ordered, hanging up without another word.
I sent him my location with shaky hands and went to hunt down all of my things. First, my shoe.
•••
Oliver pulled up, madder than hell. I was sitting on the porch waiting for him and almost ran back in when he came barreling towards me. He yanked me up and pulled me into a hug, almost crushing me. I froze before curling my arms around him, letting him hold me. "I'm going to fucking kill you." He mumbled, dropping a kiss on my head before pulling away. "I know." I whispered. And I did. And I deserve it.
We drove home and he was quiet the whole time, making me nervous. I didn't know when he would decide to start yelling again. It wasn't until he got me home that he looked at me. "I'm so disappointed in you right now, kid. Go take a shower and start thinking about how the hell you're gonna explain yourself. I'm gonna call Ryley and let him know I found you." He sighed, turning the car off and yanking the keys out. My heart sunk and I could only manage a nod. He hates me.
I take my time in the shower, scrubbing the smell of booze from my skin. Once I'm done I go ahead and put my clothes in the washer, at this point they need holy water.
I can hear Ollie on the phone but I can't make out what he's saying. I'm guessing he's telling Ry that he found me, and maybe planning my murder. Ryley probably volunteered to hide my body. I couldn't help but start thinking about how bad this was gonna be. And that just made me anxious all over again.
'I'm so disappointed in you right now, kid.'
I don't like disappointing my brothers, it makes me feel shitty. Like they're mad at me. Like they hate me.
I need to know he's not mad at me. But he is, and I deserve it. I disappeared, for hours. And I lied. Before I could stop myself I was walking to his room, pushing the door open slowly. He glanced up at me, still talking into the phone. "Yeah, I know Ry." He sighed. I shuffled forward until I reached the bed. I sat down gently before curling myself into him. Just hug me.
"I gotta go. I'll call you later, yeah. We love you too." He said, wrapping an arm around me. He ended the call and put his phone down, turning his attention on to me. "You okay?" He asked. I shook my head and wrapped my arms around his stomach. "Aww what's wrong, kiddo?" He asked gently, cooing at me for acting like a toddler. "Don't like when you're mad at me." I whispered. He sighed heavily and squeezed me closer, but not denying he was mad. "I'm not mad. I'm frustrated because you are smarter than that. And my feelings are hurt because I know for a fact you'd never pull this with Ryley, would you?" He asked. I shook my head again, feeling even worse than before. Because he's right.
If I was still with Ry at home I'd never even dream of doing something like this. "Then what makes it okay to do it here? With me?" He asked, sounding genuinely curious. "Dunno." I mumbled. "Is it because I'm not as strict as Ryley? Is it because I'm a pushover? Do you respect me less? What is it Alex? You have to talk to me so I can fix it, because you are not staying here all summer to misbehave." He sighed harshly. Tears flooded my eyes, I was speechless.
I'm in so much trouble. I hurt him. "Its none of those, I promise. I didn't mean to." I sniffled, hiding my face in his stomach. "What do you mean 'you didn't mean to'? You can't accidentally go to a party and get wasted, disappearing for hours and doing God knows what else. That was not an accident Alexander." Ollie scolded. "I'm sorry." I whined, wanting him to believe me.
"Why are you sorry?" He asked. "Huh? What do you mean?" I asked nervously, this is a test. "Exactly what I said. Why are you sorry?" He shrugged. "Because I made you worry. And I lied. I hurt your feelings and made you disappointed. 'M a bad brother." I mumbled. "You are not a bad brother, Alexander. You fucked up because you're a kid. If you were a bad brother you'd be doing this every night, without caring how anyone else felt. But you don't, so you're not. I know you're sorry." He said sternly, holding my face so we made eye contact.
He held my face, wiping a tear away with his thumb before kissing my forehead. He let go and sighed, and I knew it was time. I'm about to be really sore.
"Stay here." He said, getting off the bed and walking into his bathroom. Not like I was gonna go anywhere, I feel horrible. I'd let him beat me if it would make him forgive me.
He came back in a minute later, carrying something in his hand. He didn't let me be curious for too long before he held it up for me to see. Soap? "Do you know what this is?" He asked. "Yeah, it's a bar of soap." I said, more than a little confused. "Mmhmm do you know what it's for?" He asked, opening the box. "Usually, yes. Do I know what it's for right now? No." I answered. He smiled and let out a laugh, coming back over to the bed where I was still laying.
"Its going in your mouth." He said plainly. "No it's not." I refused. No way is he putting soap in my mouth. "Yes it is, sit up." He rolled his eyes. I listened and sat up right, eyeing the soap.
"While you get your spanking this soap is to stay in your mouth. You keep lying and I'm over it. You're also grounded, I do not want you leaving the house without me for three weeks. You go nowhere, if I can't trust you to be where you say you are then you're not going out. You broke a lot of trust today, Alexander. And you're gonna have to work to get it back." Ollie scolded harshly.
"I will. I'm really sorry." I whined. "Your behavior during your spanking will decide wether or not you're getting bedtime spankings for the week." He said, ignoring my apology. "A week?" I asked nervously. "Yes, Alex, a week." He nodded. Wonderful.
He's definitely trying to make up for not being strict enough. Soap, a spanking, possibly bedtime spankings, yeah he's not gonna let me do anything anymore.
"Okay." I mumbled. It's times like this that I think about their conversations about me. How I get in trouble a lot, but I'm not hard to punish. Because I'm not, I don't fight it, they can scold me for a minute and I'll immediately give in and lay over their laps myself. I just feel bad. Not necessarily guilty, even though I feel guilty too, but bad.
Ollie unwraps the bar and leans down to put it in my mouth. I stare at it for a second before huffing and opening my mouth. He ruffles my hair and stands back up, taking a step back to undo his belt, making me whine miserably.
Up until now I hadn't really noticed the soap, other than it's uncomfortable and makes my teeth feel gross. But since I can't shut my mouth, I start to drool, which suds up the bar. And it's disgusting. Sour in the worst ways. I instinctively reach up to take it out, but Ollie catches my wrist and pops my hand.
"Leave it." He scolds. I pull my hand back and scowl at him. That hurt. I try to tell him that it's gross, to take it out, but it just comes out as angry gurgles. "Bend over the bed." He said sternly. I shook my head, I don't want to go over the bed, I want to go over your lap so you can hold me. "Yes Alex. It's too hard not to hit your back or your legs with you over my knee." He sighed, getting impatient. You've done it before.
"Its that important to you not to bend over the damn bed?" He asked harshly, pinching his nose. I nodded. I'm already dying, the least you could do is beat me over your lap so you're at least close to me. "Okay, fine." He mumbled, sitting down and placing a pillow on his lap, pulling me over it so my hips were raised.
WHACK!
I yelped, not expecting him to start so soon.
WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!
I tried to wiggle but he caught my hip with his hand and held me down. "Be still." He warned.
WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!
WHACK! WHACK!
At this point tears were starting to fall, I wasn't crying yet. That was until my tears hit the soap, foaming it up more and more. I became frantic, kicking my legs to try to get his attention. I don't want to take it out, I'll get in trouble. But I need it out. Now.
"What is wrong with you?" He asked. Yes! Something is wrong! I'm fucking drowning in soap!
WHACK!
And I'm sobbing, but the more I cry the worst it taste. Sour, salty and odly floral.
I can't take it anymore, I reach up and take it out, letting the soapy drool pool out and onto the blankets. "P-please let me take it out." I sobbed, terrified of worsening my punishment but more so of being forced to swallow the goopy mess of soap that just came out of my mouth.
"Alex." He sighed. "N-no! I don't care. Take my jeans down! Spank me for a week, just don't make me ever do that again." I sobbed, shaking my head when he tried to take the soap from me.
"Okay, okay, you're done. No more soap just give it here." He said gently, trying again to take it. "Y-you're not gonna put it back in my mouth, r-right?" I asked, still crying. "No honey." He denied. I nodded and put it in his hand, letting him take that awful thing far away from me.
He rubbed my back for a minute, helping me calm down. "I'm pulling your jeans down in a minute. Try not to freak out on me." He warned gently. I whined and kicked my feet to show my displeasure. "I know." He sighed, reaching under my waist for my button.
I lifted my hips and allowed him to shove my jeans down. I just want it over with. He patted my butt and had me adjusted back into place.
WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!
"Ah!" I yelled, the hits were faster now, overwhelming.
WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!
"Where were you last night?" He asked darkly.
WHACK!
"I was with a friend!" I whined.
"Who?"
"N-no one." I mumbled.
WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!
"Do not lie to me. Who were you with?" He demanded.
"Josiah!" I cried.
"The one from the park? That gave you weed? You went to his house?!" Ollie yelled.
I nodded.
WHACK!
"You went to this kid's house."
WHACK!
"Got drunk."
WHACK!
"Disappeared."
WHACK!
"And didn't answer your phone for hours!"
WHACK!
"What the hell, Alexander?!"
WHACK!
"I'm sorry!" I sobbed.
"Do you any idea who scared I was? I told you you could go to the park until ten. And you went missing for a whole night! If you hadn't called me I was going to call the police!" Ollie scolded.
I just cried. I feel horrible. My butt hurts. My mouth tastes gross. And my brother is mad at me.
Ollie pulled me up, sitting me on his lap. I crashed into him, sobbing and begging him to forgive me.
He held me, rubbing my back and giving me a kiss to the head. But he didn't baby me. Didn't tell me I was forgiven, didn't cuddle me, or tell me he wasn't mad anymore.
He just let me sit in his lap. And that broke me. "I'm so sorry! D-don't be mad at me! Forgive me!" I sobbed harder, burying my face in his neck.
"I was so scared." He mumbled, pulling me away. He looked at me hard, he had his own tears running down his face. "I'm sorry." I mumbled. "I know. I know you are." He nodded.
"I really won't do it again. I- I promise. I don't w-wanna see him again. I wanna stay with you." I cried, wiping my face with my sleeve.
"You won't ever see him again." He agreed.
"You're still mad?" I whispered. "I'm not happy." He sighed. "I'm still in trouble?" I asked nervously. "I don't know." He mumbled.
"Okay." I nodded.
"Why don't you go lay down for a while? I'll come talk to you in a little bit once I figure it out." He suggests. I just gave a defeated nod and left for my room.
•••
It had been over an hour of me being by myself. The longest I've been left alone after a spanking, unless I was actually sleeping. Which, I wasn't.
I was too busy chasing my thoughts in circles. He hates me.
No he doesn't, he's hurt.
I hurt him.
I didn't mean to.
He's disappointed.
He said he wasn't.
He doesn't want me around.
He never said that.
It's exhausting. You can't take a break from your own mind. That's sadly not how it works.
"Hey." Ollie said quietly, peeking around my door. "Hi." I mumbled.
"Do you hate me now?" I asked nervously, not even bothering to sit up. "No honey. I could never." He denies, coming to sit next to me.
"I'd get it. If you did, I mean." I sighed. "None of that." He mumbled, pulling me upright.
"I don't hate you. You're just a kid, you're gonna do stupid shit. I need to be the adult and handle it." He said gently.
"I'm sorry." I mumbled, leaning into him.
He caught me against his side, wrapping an arm around me in a half hug.
We stayed like that for a while. With him just holding me and telling me that he doesn't hate me, he's not mad, and that he loves me.
"I've got some not so good news for you, kid." He sighed, finally nudging me to sit up.
"What is it?" I questioned.
"You're getting spanked again. For the next three days. Before you freak out, it's not going to be a lot. It's just gonna be my hand, over your underwear before bed." Ollie said calmly.
"But why?" I whined. It's still gonna suck. I'm so sore already.
"Because, what you did was dangerous and stupid. A lot of things could have happen to you. I think you need a bit more of a reason to think about your actions." He explained.
"I'm sorry though. I don't need more spankings." I begged.
"I know you're sorry. But you really freaking scared me. And you need to learn to use your head before you do things." He said plainly.
"Okay." I whined. There's nothing I can do about it. He's made up his mind about my punishment, and I just have to take it. It just makes it harder on us both if I fight it.
"You're a good kid." Ollie smiles, ruffling my hair. "Stop." I mumbled, embarrassed.
••••
It's day 3.
One last spanking and I'm done, punishment over. (except my grounding)
I'm excited, tired, and sore.
My ass has been red for far too long.
I'm currently in my room, waiting for Ollie to come in. I've showered, brushed my teeth, and I'm ready for bed. It's only 9:00, something he decided on while I'm grounded.
I have to be ready for bed and in my room by nine each night. He said, whether I'm actually asleep or not doesn't really matter, but I'm not allowed to leave my room.
It's incredibly boring. I can never fall asleep this early, so I'm basically stuck doing nothing for four hours until I eventually manage to sleep.
It's torture.
"Alright kid, are you ready to get this over with?" Ollie sighs, entering my room.
"Yeah." I nod.
He comes over and sits next to me on the bed. He rubs my back for a second before nudging me to go over his lap. I sigh and let him tip me over his knee, wiggling until I'm as comfortable as I'm gonna get.
I bury my face in my arms when he tugs my pajama pants down to my knees.
I knew what to expect, twenty or so hard smacks, then it's over. It hasn't been particularly bad at all, but that doesn't mean I'm enjoying it. I'd much rather never have to do this again.
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
"Oww!" I whined quietly. I'm starting to move a lot more, but Ollie holds me in place.
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
"Ow! I'm sorry!"
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
"Stop! Ow!"
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
"Okay honey. It's done." Ollie said calmly, pulling me up. I wasn't crying hard, but I still had tears running down, which he wiped away. I whined and crawled into his lap.
"Sorry." I whispered again. He just shushed me and rubbed my back. "You're not in trouble anymore. It's done and I forgive you. No more apologies now." He soothed.
"Can I sleep with you?" I asked, not wanting to be alone. "Yeah honey, come on." He smiled, picking me up. I squeaked and held onto him for dear life, I didn't know he could still pick me up. I might use this to my advantage in the future.
He carried me to his room and sat me down on the bed, telling me to lay down. I obeyed and got under the covers, laying on my side. He walked around the room and changed into his pajamas before laying with me, pulling me into his chest.
It didn't take me too long to fall asleep after being so exhausted. I haven't slept well in days, too busy thinking and worrying about him being mad at me.
But now, I slept.
A/n: this is the chapter I accidentally published for a second the other day...oops! But it's done now! It's definitely not great...but it's something! This is based off the multiple requests of a harsher punishment...hopefully this will do!
I am sadly sick...again! And so close to the holidays :(
But besides that I hope you all have a lovely holiday season and stay warm and cozy with my stories!!
With love,
《Doodle》