'Okay soldier,' I said formally to Bradley, turning so I could see right into his eyes as I gave him my orders.
At the current moment in time we happened to be standing outside of the school gates nervously. We'd already been here for a few minutes, weighing up the good and the bad about the situation. Most of it was bad.
'You give me a leg up over the fence and I'll run in and grab my house keys from the car,' I told him, putting on a brave face.
It wasn't as if we were going in to rob the place or do any other illegal things - but it was still kind of daunting. I mean we weren't breaking right into the school, just into the parking lot so I could get the keys to my stupid apartment. I was rambling. I needed to stop rambling when I was nervous. Actually I didn't ramble out loud when I was nervous - more like internal head rambling.
'You think you're going in there alone?' he asked with a raised eyebrow. I love it when people raise their eyebrows - it's so cool. It took me ages to persuade my dad to- okay enough. Don't go thinking about them.
'Well, if the evil zombies come for me then I don't want them eating both of us because I need someone to tell everyone my last wish!' I exclaimed, coming back to reality and hitting his arm. It was kind of his fault that my own mind went off-topic, he deserved the pain.
He chuckled at me and shook his head slightly. 'And what is your last wish?'
'For me to escape my death and return like a hero,' I replied proudly, shooting him a wink, approaching the fence and gripping the bars.
Bradley laughed again after my last statement. I examined the gate and he crept up behind me, grabbing my waist to frighten me.
Needless to say... it worked.
'AH!' I screeched loudly, jumping about a foot in the air. I would have turned and kicked his ass but his next words stopped me in my tracks.
'I don't think your last wish will come true if you were to fight off zombies,' he laughed.
'Okay, tubbo just shut up and give me a lift up so we can get this show on the road,' I said turning around in his grip and giving him a look. He frowned for a second before releasing me; muttering something under his breath which I couldn't quite hear.
He bent down and linked his hands together for me to put my foot into. I did just that, gripping his shoulder for balance as he pushed his hands up higher so I could reach the top of the fence. I grabbed hold of the metal bars and hauled myself over, dropping lightly to the other side with a smug expression on my face. I felt kind of like a ninja tonight. A moment later Bradley joined me and we stood still in the darkness.
'Um, it looks kind of scarier from this side of the fence,' I whispered to Bradley, sidling closer to him somewhat unwillingly.
There were only a couple of cars in the parking lot - one being mine. I wondered who the other one belonged to and I resisted the urge to grab onto Bradley's arm from nervousness. No time to be a wuss.
'I thought you were a pro zombie killer, Raegan,' he laughed quietly, tilting his head my way in acknowledgement.
'I think I need more practise,' I replied before straightening up and shaking off my child-like fears. 'Okay soldier, let's continue to battle. The enemy is waiting just over there,' I said in the same formal voice as before, gesturing towards where my car was.
'Lead the way, Captain,' he snorted, clearly not impressed by my leadership skills. Jerk.
I took in a breath before creeping forward slowly, glancing around occasionally. Seriously, if a zombie or serial killer did happen to make an appearence, I'd probably shove Bradley in the way and run as fast as I could.
Once we reached my car safely, I let out a sigh of relief. So far, so good.
'I've got you covered,' Bradley said, leaning against the hood. His words calmed me for some reason. He was being sarcastic but having another person on the lookout was relieving.
I pulled my car keys out and fiddled with them for a second before unlocking the back door and yanking it open impatiently. Stupid keys in the stupid car in the stupid parking lot. I could see my backpack straight away - just where I'd tossed it - and as I was about to grab it I heard Bradley curse - words that a lot of people would be disgusted at. I raised my eyebrows and shot him an inquisitive look over my shoulder.
'Someone's coming!' he exclaimed causing me to widen my eyes.
I jerked out of the car, narrowly missing hitting my head on the roof, and felt my breathing quicken.
'Are you serious?' I squeaked glancing all around. 'Where?'
'Over there,' he said, pointing towards the headlights of a car. He turned to me with an amused expression. 'How could you not have seen that as soon as you turned around?' he asked. I could tell he was holding in a laugh.
'Shut up!' I scowled. 'What if he sees us?'
'You're making more noise than me with you high-pitched squeals,' he replied. 'And what makes you think he'll see us, he's way over there. I think it's the janitor.'
'He's getting in his car to leave,' I said in a slow voice, as if he were stupid. 'He'll drive right by us and he'll have to unlock the gate to get out and he'll definitely see us!'
'Chill,' Bradley muttered, shushing me with a simple gesture of the hand. 'Find your keys and when he comes, we'll duck behind the car or something,' he said, turning back to the janitor's car to keep watch.
I ducked back into the car, unzipping my backpack and rifling through it. My hand hit something cold... metal-like and I pulled out the keys to my apartment. I turned around to Bradley with a triumphant grin and opened my mouth to speak but I didn't get the chance to as he shoved me back inside the car.
I let out a gasp as I fell back onto the seats with a thud, the keys flying out of my hand and disappearing somewhere onto the car floor.
'Bradley what the f-' I began in a loud exclamation but his hand clamped over my mouth cutting my curse off short with a scowl as he hovered over me.
'Shh,' he whispered, moving his face closer to mine so he could speak even quieter. 'He's driving past now.'
I licked his palm because he was half cutting off my air supply and he removed his hand from my mouth with a grimace.
'Why did you have to shove me in so quickly?' I asked angrily, shooting him daggers.
'I didn't see him coming,' Bradley replied with a shrug.
'You were on guard duty!' I exclaimed, trying to keep my voice down but finding the task rather difficult.
'My bad?' he said with an amused grin.
'Okay you are no longer a soldier,' I told him, shaking my head as best as I could in the current situation. It cricked my neck slightly and I winced
'Then what am I?' he asked in a playful tone.
'Someone who is squishing me right now,' I told him, letting out a sigh as evidence that I could barely breathe. 'For the second time today!'
'Once again I say... my bad.'
There was a slam outside and I jumped slightly at the sudden interruption.
Bradley shifted, raising himself above me so that I could slide out from underneath him. I clambered over him to look out the window of the car and to see what this janitor guy was up to. His headlights were facing forwards so there wasn't much light shining on my car but I still kept low down just in case.
The janitor unlocked the padlock from around the gate and pulled it off before tugging the gates open wide enough for his car to pass through. He then turned and made his way slowly back to his car. I sighed with impatience.
'Pity he's not a woman, Bradley, else you'd be right in there,' I muttered quietly, turning around to face him with a grin.
He grimaced and flicked the end of my nose in punishment, causing me to wrinkle it.
'Ouch, that hurt, tubbo,' I said, leaning forward quickly to return the favour. He grabbed my hand before I could, though.
'You brought that on yourself, delinquent child,' he replied, squeezing my hand tightly. His eyes travelled over my shoulder and he leaned forward, towards me, squinting. 'He's driving out of the gate now,' Bradley said slowly. I glanced behind me to see that he is indeed correct. 'But he's going to have to lock the gate again isn't he? Old people are so slow!' he growled.
I turned around grinned at the endless possibility of jokes I could make with his comment. I went with the simplest as my brain wasn't functioning too well at the current moment.
'You would know all about that wouldn't you?' I asked patting his head with my free hand.
He groaned and his eyes returned to mine in annoyance.
'Seriously? That's two old jokes in the last ten minutes!' he complained, making me shrug.
'Really?' I asked him in an innocent voice. 'I'm just so good at them that I lose count,' I sniffed, feigning disinterest.
'You suck,' he said, shaking his head at me in distaste.
'I'd rather not,' I quipped without a moment's pause.
'Do you have to make a joke out of everything I say?' he asked with an exasparated expression on his face.
'There's no need, everything you say is already a joke,' I smiled.
'Well, you can count my help out next time you need to go on a mission,' he grumbled.
'I already demoted you to a civilian anyway. You can still call me captain though,' I added as an afterthought.
'I'll call you captain if you stop making old people jokes every time you look at me,' he offered in compromise Yeah, I can see a definite loophole right there.
'Deal,' I declared proudly. 'All I have to do it not look at you then.' I said, turning my face away from his to look back outside.
Good, God that janitor was slow. He'd just finished putting the padlock back on and was making his way back to the car. Almost time to bounce.
'Well, I wouldn't want that now would I?' he smirked.
'Is that because you want people looking at you all the time? A granny-loving attention-seeker are you?' I asked.
'Hey, you said you wouldn't make old people jokes if I called you captain!' he exclaimed in outrage.
'And you haven't actually called me captain yet have you, Bradley?' I asked, turning my face towards him once more. I was struggling to keep up with our almost insane conversation.
'Captain, I always call you captain,' he said, frowning.
'This conversation is now too confusing for me to follow so I give up,' I stated, flashing my teeth in a grin.
'That's okay, I always knew you weren't the brightest bulb in the box.'
'What d'you mean you "always knew"? You only met me at the start of the week!' I pointed out.
'That's a good point,' he said with a frown. 'Oh look the janitor has gone,' he exclaimed in excitement, peering over my shoulder once more. He reached up and flipped the light on without warning. I winced.
'Okay find your keys so you can go,' he ordered me.
'Well, you idiot, I did have them but then you tackled me and I don't know where they went!' I frowned, punching him in the arm.
'Do I have to say "my bad" for a third time?' he asked.
'You just did,' I replied absently, feeling around on the floor for the keys. I found them under one of the seats, without any help from Bradley, who was simply lying across the three seats watching me search with only mild interest.
'You know, you're very helpful,' I snapped sarcastically to him as I shoved my keys in my pocket.
'I think I actually am seeing as I drove you around looking for your stupid keys. Why aren't your house keys and your car keys on the same chain anyway?'
'Because,' I said, zipping up my backpack, 'If you lose a set of keys, then you can't get into your house or the car. But if you lose one or the other then no matter what you'll always have a place to sleep at night, right?'
He stared at me for a long moment. 'That may be the smartest thing that I've heard come out of your mouth,' he said, reaching up and scratching his head.
'Yeah, I'm cool like that.'
'Come on, let's get out of here,' he said after a moment of silence.
I opened the door and scrambled out, desperate to get out of there as soon as possible.
'Just because you've got the hots for grandmas doesn't mean you have to move like them. Come on, tubbo; I need to get at least a few hours of sleep, else that lovely cop will come looking for me when I oversleep tomorrow,' I said, turning around and stretching my arms above my head. I heard the door close and the locks clicked shut.
'I will ignore that last one. But yes I think you definitely need your beauty sleep,' he smiled, standing right in front of me as he tucked the car keys into my front pocket. 'And don't lose another set of keys,' he added, turning away and walking towards the gate.
I followed him with a grin. 'Aw, my baby Bradley is learning to be just as sarcastic and mean as me - I'm so proud!' I caught up to him and bumped my shoulder against his - well his arm seeing as my shoulder didn't reach his.
'Please, you got the evil and sarcastic ways from me,' he said as we reached the gate.
'Just be quiet and give me a leg up,' I demanded.
I waited for him but he remained motionless and so I raise my eyebrows in question.
'Say please,' he said.
'I'd rather die,' I replied solemnly.
'Okay well, I'm going to go home. Tell me how sleeping in a parking lot works out for you,' he told me, approaching the gate.
'It's fine because I have my car keys and I can sleep in there,' I whisper-yelled as he began to climb up the bars. Was he really leaving? For the love of...
'Okay, okay,' I said, grabbing his shirt and tugging it. 'Please give me a leg up,' I asked in a bored tone.
He slid down, back to the tarmac. 'Say it like you mean it now,' he probed with a grin.
I sighed - well if that was how he wanted to play it...
'Give me second.' I frowned before putting on my best smile - complete with the puppy dog eyes that I'd learned to master very well.
I reached up and tugged on the collar of his shirt whilst saying 'Bradley will you please give me a leg up?... I'm too short to reach and I don't want to spend the night in a scary parking lot on my own.' He stared at me in confusion at my new tactic. 'Please, Bradley,' I said, tugging on his collar harder and stepping closer so that his face was nearer to mine. I really needed to thank a friend from my old school for teaching me this. No wait. I didn't have friends from there anymore.
'I really need your help,' I whispered, leaning slightly closer. He actually smelled really good. I wondered what cologne he used. I heard him suck in a breath and his eyes fixed on mine with a slightly dazed expression.
I fiddled with his collar slightly, making my fingers brush the skin just underneath the fabric; he jerked in surprise which brought his face so close to mine that I could feel the heat radiating off of his skin... his warm breath brushing over my cheek.
I tilted my head to the side, deciding enough was enough.
'So, are you going to give me a leg up or what?' I asked him in my normal tone of voice now. He blinked and shook his head slightly, the dazed expression clearing at last.
'Um... yeah,' he said slowly. 'Just...'
'What?' I asked, crossing my arms impatiently.
'Nothing. Come on let's get out of here,' he said in his normal voice again.
I released his collar and instead placed my hand on his shoulder, getting ready to brace myself on him as I hauled myself up.
Once I was on the other side of the fence, I waited for Bradley before we both made our way over to his car.
'Here,' he said, holding out my backpack towards me. Oops. Forgot to grab that on the way out. It wasn't that important anyways, just full of school crap.
'Oh,' I said. 'Thanks, Bradley.'
He made an absent kind of noise and didn't look at me as he started the car. I glanced at the time on the dashboard. It was only just eleven so not too bad.
I remembered the pills in my pocket which I'd shoved in there earlier; I'd forgotten to take them but... I might not even be able to because the water might have dissolved them or melted them or whatever the scientific word was.
'Remi will be wondering where you are,' I said, holding back a yawn.
'She'll probably have forgotten about me if she's been making out with Kyle,' he replied with a snort.
'Didn't she just dump a guy?' I asked slowly, going back to the thought I had on the beach earlier.
'Are you calling my sister a slut?' he asked in a serious tone, but I could tell he was joking
'No, but what's the deal?'
'Well... she's always liked Kyle and the guy she was just going out with was to take her mind off of him I guess. Kyle's been showing interest in her lately and when her boyfriend cheated on her I guess that just set things into motion you know,' Bradley shrugged nonchalantly.
'What a nice ending.'
'Yeah and if he cheats on her I'll-' he began.
'No evil thoughts about your sister's soon-to-be-boyfriend!' I exclaimed, hitting his arm lightly. I would've done it harder but he was driving and I didn't want to die in a car crash. I guess it wouldn't matter if I died seeing as I only had less than thirty days left anyway. But there was no point in Bradley dying too.
He grimaced. 'If I can't have bad thoughts about him then who can I have them about?'
'I bet you have bad thoughts about me,' I said absently, not really thinking my words through.
'That sounds kinky,' he laughed.
'No!' I said, refusing to be embarrassed. 'I mean because I always piss you off-'
'Okay, relax you know I know what you meant,' he said, rolling his eyes at my distress.
'So... have you had kinky thoughts about me?' I asked him in a deadly serious tone.
He almost choked. 'Are you seriously asking me that question? Who asks that?'
'You've never met anyone as blunt as me before,' I replied with a sweet smile, poking his arm.
'And no! I haven't. Because I don't know your body well enough,' he smirked, pulling up outside of my apartment and parking.
'Do you want to?' I asked in the same serious voice. He rolled his eyes before answering, suspecting some trickery no doubt.
'Sure.'
I leant towards him with a devilish smile. 'I don't think I'll be good enough for you because I'm not a senior citizen,' I whispered.
'I will actually kill you-' he began.
I grabbed my backpack and jumped out of the car, running around to the driver's window to say goodbye as I laughed. I bent down to the window with a grin still on my face.
'By the way, you're taking me to school tomorrow seeing as my car is still in the parking lot,' I told him.
'You're kidding me, right?' he asked, pulling a face.
'No way, soldier. See? Look, I promoted you back up again and now you'll be nice to me okay? Okay.'
I turned away but looked back when I'd gone a few steps, realising he had actually been quite useful.
'And thanks for the help tonight,' I added with a genuine smile.
'Yeah, you owe me one, captain,' he called back.