It was Saturday morning when I received a call from Mommy. I was still asleep and my eyes were almost closed when I answered his call, I just want to rest now. My body is tired. "I'm listening," I started. She already knows what I mean when I say that. I'll just let her talk because I'm listening.
"Anak, can you come here to Adrian's school? I have to go to the hospital but nobody is here with Adrian when I leave, I forgot to tell you that he is moving up today," she wasn't even in front of me but I could hear her voice. It's obvious from her voice that she can't calm down, she looks like she's worried, she really needs to go to the hospital she's talking about. "Anak, please? Just for now. Nathalie isn't available right now,"
My heart was sad because it was obvious from Mommy's voice that she was about to cry so I forced my eyes open. "You can leave but give Adrian your phone first and I will talk to him." It seems that Mom followed what I said because I heard Adrian's voice. "Ate's going there, wait for me. 'Wag kang lalayo r'yan, Adrian. Okay?" sumagot lang siya sa akin bago ko pinatay ang tawag.
Wala naman akong choice palagi but I have to stand up for my brother. Hindi na ako nag-almusal at diretso na ako sa bathroom para maligo. Binuksan ko ang damitan ko at kinuha 'yung tie-strap flare high slit slip midi dress. I parted my hair in the middle at the top before combing it on each side, kumuha ako ng hair tie at itinali ang buhok ko; that's not a pony tail, just a simple tie to keep my hair from getting messy. Naglagay ako ng light make-up, clean girl make-up. After that, sinuot ko 'yung sandals ko at umalis na. Mayroon pa naman akong time dahil maaga lang pumunta roon sina Mommy at Adrian dahil may inasikaso raw si Mommy roon.
I didn't get stuck in traffic because it was early and there weren't many cars on the road. The parking lot at Adrian's school is also spacious, mamaya rin naman mapupuno na ang parking lot dahil marami ng tao. Pagkapasok ko sa loob, nakita ko kaagad si Adrian na nakaupo malapit sa gate at mukhang may hinihintay. I called him so he saw me, his face lit up when he saw me. He was wearing his uniform. "Ate," Adrian said. I welcome his hug.
"You are leaving junior status now. Wow, you're going to be a senior na," I chuckled and rubbed his back. Hindi ko naman mahimas at magulo 'yung buhok niya dahil naka-gel na 'yon, sayang naman kung guguluhin ko pa. Ang gwapo ng kapatid ko. He didn't let go of the hug so my smile dropped a little. "I'm sorry... I know Mommy should be here with you, you know what her and Dad's job is. I don't even know if their work is more important than their child. Don't worry, baby. Ate's here, I'm here on your important day. Don't be sad na," ako na ang kumalas sa yakap.
"Thank you for always being there," Adrian said.
"Of course, you're my baby." I'm the ate. I gave him a very sweet smile. "By the way, have you eaten?" tumango si Adrian bilang pagsagot kaya inaya ko na siya papunta sa pavilion ng UST, doon gaganapin ang graduation or moving up nila. "Is it still necessary to be accompanied by a parent when going on stage?" I asked as we entered the quadricentennial pavilion.
"If you are with honors,"
I nodded. "Are you with honors?"
Tinignan niya ako na parang hinuhusgahan niya 'ko. "Of course, I'm Adrian Vienaiaz," he laughed softly when he said that and shook his head.
Yeah, he is.
"Should Mommy be with you on stage?" my voice weakened when I asked him that. I know he is sad but happy. This is one of the important events in his life, but Mommy or Dad is not even here. His smile also dropped a bit and he nodded again while looking at the stage. "Will I still join you on stage?"
"Gusto ko, Ate. Don't worry, you will know when it's my turn because my adviser will approach you," tumango lang ako. Tinuro niya sa akin kung saan ang seats ng mga guardians kaya umupo na 'ko roon. Pumunta na rin siya sa upuan nila, his friends are here na rin kaya may kausap na siya. I decided to text Nathalie and Kuya Ashton for Adrian. Kung wala ang parents namin, dapat nandito kami. "Nathalie, did you know that Adrian is moving up now? If yes, where are you?"
"Alam ko, Ate Nads. Pero kasi, nasa Bulacan ako ngayon. Jerome had a family reunion and then he brought me here today,"
"Nathalie, come on. Choose this day for your brother. If you are not really free today, then go," I didn't even think twice about ending our call. It was her decision whether she would go now or stay there for the family reunion. Ang sa 'kin lang naman kasi, it's our brother's day. I want them to be here. I called Kuya Ashton and it was a long time before he answered the call.
"Nads. Why? Sorry, I'm in the shower," Kuya Ashton said.
"Kuya, you free? Mom and Dad are not here and Adrian is moving up now. He looks sad, I want even the three of us to be here for him, Nathalie is also not available so I'm the only one here. Can you do it?"
"Yes, I'll just get dressed and leave. I'll just sit in the back if there's a vacancy but if there isn't, I'll wait for you outside," after talking, pinatay niya na 'yong tawag namin. Limited lang kasi ang p'wedeng makapasok sa pavilion, if you have a ticket, you can enter. But if there isn't, you can still get in when there's still a vacancy. I just took a selfie on my Instagram story and put the location there before I closed my phone because more and more people were coming.
The ceremony started after a few minutes. Marami pang speech 'yung mga nasa stage, ilang minuto rin 'yon. Inaantok na ako pero may mga tumayo na naka-toga, walang cap. I think everyone who goes up to the stage will be sectioned because there are only a few standing people. Nanonood lang ako sa mga umaakyat nang may tumawag sa akin.
"Good morning, Miss Vienaiaz. With honors na po ang sunod after that. Please, follow me," adviser pala ni Adrian. We know each other because we saw each other when I went to Adrian's school. Noong tumayo ako, napatingin ako sa likod. Nandoon lang si Kuya Ashton, watching. Kinawayan ko na lang siya bago sumunod sa teacher. Nakita ko rin si Adrian na nakangiti, nakatayo na rin sila. "Miss Vienaiaz, remind ko lang po na p'wede na kayo umalis pagkatapos umakyat sa stage. Next na po kasi ang mga lower grades,"
Gano'n lang 'yon? I don't know why they are in such a hurry. Tumango na lang ako. I'll ask Adrian na lang if gusto na niyang umalis after. Kakain naman kami ni Adrian with Kuya Ashton. I just watched the people go up with their guardian as I waited for Adrian's name to be called. I just looked in Kuya Ashton's direction, hoping that Nathalie would choose Adrian's day. Kahit ngayon man lang, gusto kong kumpleto kaming apat ngayon.
A smile came to my lips when I heard Adrian's name. "Vienaiaz, Adrian Nicho A., with honors," pinanood kong maglakad si Adrian sa gitna. Nang makarating siya sa 'kin, sabay kaming umakyat sa stage. "Congratulations," binigay sa akin 'yung medal at isinuot ko kay Adrian iyon. I thanked those on stage before Adrian and I got off.
Adrian and I didn't get to talk right away because they had to go back to their seats to prepare for the end of moving up. Time was fast so it ended immediately, when Adrian went to where Kuya Ashton and I were, I immediately greeted him with a big hug. "Congratulations! I'm so proud of you!" I shouted. Bumitaw rin ako kaagad para mayakap ni Kuya Ashton si Adrian. "Let's go?" Inaya ko na silang lumabas hanggat wala pa masyadong lumalabas dahil lahat sila ay nagpi-picture pa.
When we went out, we immediately saw Nathalie outside. She was holding a bouquet and it was blue in color. Sinalubong niya kami para ibigay 'yon kay Adrian. She even apologized to me about earlier and she also explained why she was outside the pavilion and not inside, the guard said she was not allowed to enter. Naglakad na kami papunta sa kotse, we had two cars so we split up because our parking spots were different. Si Adrian ang sumabay sa 'kin at magkasama naman si Kuya Ashton at Nathalie. Pupunta na kami roon sa restaurant na napagdesisyunan naming kumain. Nang makasakay na kami ni Adrian sa kotse, I started the engine. I was about to drive but Mommy called.
"Nadeleine, tapos na ba kayo?"
"Yeah," I answered.
"Come here to UST Hospital. Your dad is here,"
Napatingin ako roon sa screen ng phone ko. "What?! Why?!" I looked at Adrian who also looked at me because of my sudden shouting. "Call Nathalie, Adrian. Right now." I told Adrian. Tumango naman siya. Mom said Daddy had trouble breathing while going to UST for Adrian's moving up. Sumakto naman daw na nasa tapat sila ng hospital kaya sinugod na roon si Daddy.
Instead of being in a restaurant today, we are here in the hospital. Daddy was still sleeping so we couldn't talk to him. Mommy was talking to Adrian outside the room, and the three of us sitting here were silent. I don't know what to do, I feel sorry for Adrian but Dad's here. My heart is relieved because Daddy was immediately rushed to the hospital and was seen by a doctor right away. Now I understand Mommy why she really had to leave earlier. Maybe she really planned to tell us that news when Adrian's time is over.
I looked at Kuya Ashton and Nathalie, they were already asleep. Inaantok din naman ako pero ayokong matulog. When Mommy went inside without Adrian, I went out, not talking to mommy. I saw Adrian sitting and looking like he was thinking something. Tumabi ako sa kaniya nang tahimik. "What gift do you want?" I started. Kahit regalo lang, I want to give him something he likes to make him happy.
I think he thought for a minute before answering. "Go home everyday," Adrian answered. That's the gift I can't give him. I know that he always wants me at home because he has no one to talk to when he has nothing to do.
"I still have school, Adrian. What else?"
He chuckled, not looking at me. "Then, can I vacation in your condo? Until I go to school again?" Nagulat naman ako sa sagot niyang 'yon. Two months.. two months ang bakasyon nila bago mag-enrollment! I had him for two months? Ganoon?
I laughed nervously. "You're always alone at my condo when I have school. Would that make you happy, Adrian?" tumango siya kaya napaisip ako. Kapag nasa condo siya, I had to go home right after school because he didn't have anyone in the condo with him. I got up because I was hungry. I feel like I'm going to pass out at any moment due to dizziness. "Alright. I'll eat sa pancake house, gusto mo bang sumama?" I asked him. Nagugutom na talaga ako.
"I have no appetite, Ate. Eat well," tumingin siya sa akin at binigyan niya ako ng ngiti. I just nodded before walking to the elevator. My body's hurting, I want to go home. Pumasok na ako sa elevator at pinindot ang ground floor. Huminto ang elevator sa isang floor kaya napatingin ako roon. I was surprised to see Kiel, it was also obvious from his face that he saw me here today.
Pumasok siya sa loob nang tahimik. I faked a cough. What level of awkwardness is this? It seems like we were very close last night and now we won't talk. Won't he talk to me ba? It's awkward for me, it's like I'm telling him bad things in my mind even if he's just next to me. "Hi," napatingin ako sa kaniya nang magsalita siya.
"Ako ba kinakausap mo?" I know we're the only two in the elevator, pero mas maganda pa ring sigurado! Malay ko bang nakakakita siya ng multo tapos ayon 'yung kinakausap niya.
He let out a short laugh. "'Yung sa tao sa morgue 'yung kinakausap ko." Kiel joked. Hindi nakakatawa. "Of course, mukha bang may iba pa tayong kasama rito?" tumingin siya sa loob ng elevator bago ibalik ang tingin sa akin.
"Okay. Edi hello," I greeted back. Sakto namang bumukas na ang elevator, pinauna niya akong lumabas bago siya.
"Saan ka papunta?"
"Pancake house. It's almost noon but I haven't eaten breakfast yet," I looked at my watch. "How about you?"
"Tara, pancake house," he turned his back on me immediately after saying that. What? Will he eat with me? Why? Kakain lang naman ako, bakit kasama pa siya? He walked ahead of me so I followed him. No one can see us, right? Pero my family is just upstairs! Paano kapag nagbago isip ni Adrian na sumunod sa akin dito? Makikita niya kami ni Kiel? He'll think na boyfriend ko si Kiel! Shit, meet the family na ba kaagad 'to kahit friends lang kami ni Kiel?
"Pala-desisyon ka, 'no? Hindi pa nga 'ko pumapayag naglakad ka na kaagad," sabi ko. Huminto kami sa may door ng hospital at nasa harapan namin ang fountain. Hindi ako pinansin ni Kiel dahil kinausap niya 'yung guard. Hindi ko alam ang pinag-uusapan nila pero tumango 'yung guard at may inabot kay Kiel na payong. "Ano 'yan?" I asked, malapit lang naman 'yung lalakarin namin tapos magpa-payong pa?
"Payong? Ayoko kasi madapuan ng araw 'yung balat nung babaeng naka-chanel na bag," he pushed his lips to stop himself from laughing. Tinignan ko ang bag ko bago tumingin sa kaniya na nasa harapan ko na, waiting for me to match him so that we can walk together under the umbrella. Is he teasing me? I just rolled my eyes before taking a step, I even heard him laugh for a moment when we were walking. "Ano'ng gusto mo?" Kiel asked. I pointed to the tocino on the menu so he nodded, wala naman masyadong umo-order kaya nakapag-order kaagad si Kiel. Umupo na ako roon sa gilid habang hinihintay si Kiel.
I just looked at him while he was talking to the cashier. Kahit wala nakatalikod siya, ang gwapo niya pa rin tignan. Oh gosh, if only he wasn't really younger than me. I can't even say that I will take the risk because I'm still afraid if what happened to me happens again. It's just really traumatizing, I'm already hurting myself because I'm feeling sorry for myself because I'm so scared. Papatawarin ko pa ba ang sarili ko? I also need to forgive myself because I hate the version of myself that was so broken because of him. Oh. Him... yeah, I just remembered him again because he didn't enter my mind since I entered the chapter of my new life.
Mabuti na rin 'yon dahil hindi rin siya welcome.
Kiel was wearing a white polo shirt and khaki shorts. I looked down at his feet and gasped when I saw him wearing b22 white sneakers. Ang lakas niyang mang-asar na may Gucci shoes and Chanel bag ako, mayaman din naman pala. Bro, he's wearing Dior! When the cashier gave the receipt to Kiel, he also walked towards me. He looked very clean even from a distance. Nakakapagtaka na talaga.
"Are you sure you don't really have a girlfriend?"
"Why? Do you want to become one?" he laughed, joking. Sometimes I don't really know why I'm with him.
Inirapan ko siya.
"Yuck." Sabi ko na ikinatawa niya pa. "What's your facebook name?" I opened a new topic. I'll just add him on facebook instead of him teasing me to be his girlfriend.
"Bakit? Ise-set mo ha sa FB na we're in a relationship?" inilipat ko ang tingin ko sa kaniya mula sa phone. I gave him a bad look as he laughs at his own joke. Siya lang naman tumatawa sa sarili niyang joke, e! Magjo-joke na nga lang siya, ang corny pa. He keeps pissing me off as his girlfriend, why? Does he have a crush on me? Kasi kung meron, yuck. Ayoko sa Thomasian, 'no! Ghoster daw sila. Niloko na nga 'ko noon, igo-ghost pa 'ko ngayon? I still have a little mercy for myself, you know. "Joke lang." Tumikhim siya bago magseryoso ng tingin.
"If you don't want us to be friends on facebook, edi 'wag," hindi ko naman siya pinipilit. Besides, limited lang ang mga ina-accept ko sa facebook, 'no. I post my outside life photos on Instagram, my inner life photos are uploaded on Facebook. Kaya ang friends ko roon ay family and close friends lang, tapos hindi ko rin alam bakit ko ia-add 'to si Kiel sa facebook. Dapat nga hanggang Instagram lang siya kasi we're just friends.
The waiter saved us both because our food had arrived. Kiel gave me the tocino and he took the beef tapa. There are also two iced teas and two bottles of water.
"Bakit ngayon ka pa lang kakain?" Kiel asked suddenly while we were in the middle of eating so I looked at him.
"Family first," I answered while chewing.
"You're Nadeleine Vienaiaz, right? You are the daughter of the owner of the biggest law firm here in the Philippines, aren't you?" minsan ko lang sinasagot 'yung mga gano'ng tanong. Ayoko kasi 'yung nalalaman na anak ako ng CEO ng Vienaiaz Law Group. Yes, I am a Vienaiaz but sometimes I just want to hide it. Kung mayroon nga akong public na facebook account ngayon, I'll use my middle name.
The only reason is that, when I was in high school, my classmates asked me if it was true that I was the daughter of the owner of a law firm. I said yes, I am. Since then, they have always accompanied me everywhere. They always ask me to include their school meal bill that I pay every recess. They will spread it to other sections that they are friends with because I am so rich. After that incident, I switched schools and just used my middle name when introducing myself.
I just don't want them to want to be my friend because I'm a Vienaiaz, I want to be their friend because I'm Nadeleine.
Napansin niya yatang napatahimik ako habang nakatingin sa kaniya. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked that. That's your privacy." Kiel gave me a small smile before he went back to eating.
Kinagat ko ang loob ng pisngi ko bago magsalita at tumango. "Yeah, I'm Nadeleine Vienaiaz. Keep it private, Kiel," I noticed that he was kind to me from the first time we both met. It's easy for me to cut someone off so I'll do that to him if something happens. Hindi naman ako natatakot mabawasan ng tao sa buhay ko, friends, I mean. Not family.
"I promise," nginitian niya ako. "P'wede pa ba ako magtanong?" he asked to get my permission, being careful with words.
"Nagtatanong ka na nga, e. Yeah, what is it?"
"Why are you in the hospital? Nagpa-check up ka ba ulit?"
Wow. Ulit? Bakt naman niya nasabi 'yon?
"No. My..."
"Don't answer if you're uncomfortable." Nagsalita na kaagad si Kiel.
I chuckled. "It's okay. My dad's there, that's why,"
"I don't want to ask about that. Get well soon for your dad," Kiel said before he drank the iced tea.
"Sinugod lang si Daddy roon kanina habang nasa moving up kami ni Adrian. You saw my Instagram story earlier, right? After ng event namin nalaman," I told him even though he didn't ask. "How about you? Mula yata noong first meet natin nasa ospital ka." Natawa ako. I'm right naman kasi, I think we only saw each other on my birthday without being in the hospital.
"My father works there. Okaasan is in Japan," he said without hesitation.
"Okaasan?" nagtataka ako nang narinig ko 'yung word na iyon. Napatingin naman sa akin si Kiel dahil binanggit ko 'yun.
"Sorry, I mean, my mom. My mom is in Japan," he lightened.
"Your life is interesting, can you tell me what your parent's job is?" What I said is true. When he mentioned the word Japan, I immediately thought of it. Why is his mother in Japan? What does his mother do there? Are they a broken family or what? He came from a family of doctors pala.
He agreed to my request. Nagku-kwento lang siya habang kumakain kami. His parents are not separated, it's just that his mother actually works there in Japan as a doctor. Kiel said that his mother only comes home to the Philippines every six months and vacations here for three months. While his father is here in the Philippines, he is also a doctor. He also has a sister, siya 'yung bunso. He said din that next month his mother will go home to the Philippines but only for one month to return immediately in December. Woah, does that mean he is half Japanese? His mother is Japanese and his father is Filipino. Hindi ko naman nakikita sa kaniya ang pagiging Japanese, siguro wala siyang nakuha sa mommy niya? Napunta siguro sa Ate niya.
Umabot na rin pala kami ng isang oras dito kaya napagdesisyunan na naming umalis na roon. Hindi na namin napansin 'yung oras dahil kaka-kwentuhan. Pagkalabas namin, binuksan niya kaagad 'yung payong dahil mas lalong uminit, tumaas na lalo ang oras. Inalalayan niya akong makatawid kahit wala naman masyadong sasakyan.
When we got back to the hospital lobby, he returned the umbrella to the guard before returning to me. "Aakyat ka na ulit?" Kiel asked me so I nodded. "I guess, hanggang dito na lang tayo?"
Ngumiti ako. "Bakit? Gusto mo pa ba akong makasama?" I joked.
"Can we meet tomorrow again?" I thought about what I would do tomorrow because it was Sunday. I'm sure I'll be at the condo all afternoon because I don't have school. Tomorrow I'll just study, watch Netflix, or clean the condo again when there's nothing else to do.
"Ano namang gagawin natin bukas?"
"Play? Sa mall," Kiel chuckled because of what he said.
"Okay, whatever you want, I'll go. Text me na lang," nginitian ko ulit siya. Uuwi na rin ako maya-maya, ngayon na lang ako mag-aaral para wala na akong aalahanin bukas kapag umalis ako. And about Adrian, ipapahatid ko na lang siya sa driver sa Monday ng gabi. "Akyat na ako, Kiel," paalam ko. "Ingat ka sa pagmamaneho," papasok na sana ako sa elevator pero nagsalita ulit siya.
"By the way, Ralpkiel Ezchavez. That's my name on Facebook." Kiel's answer to my question earlier. "Alright. Bye, Miss Chanel. See you tomorrow," Kiel even winked at me as he walked back looking at me. Napailing na lang ako roon at natawa dahil sa kaniya.
* * *