Today's the day. He's flying to California for two weeks. Two whole weeks!! I wanted to see him before he left this morning, but I also knew I would cry, if I did. It was bad enough yesterday morning when we kissed goodbye, I got all teary. It's not like he's not coming back, but I'm such an emotional basket case sometimes. Part of me thinks my emotions stem from my conversation with Solomon and I fear when Devin comes back, things might be different. I really hope not though...I don't know if I can take that.
It's Saturday, and typically Devin has spent the night here, or I'm at his place. I've decided not to go anywhere today. Staying in bed all day sounds like a good plan. I reach for the remote and start mindlessly flipping through channels, not really interested in much. Today is the only day I am allowing myself to do nothing. My life is so hectic sometimes, so I really need this, but I refuse to sit around feeling lonely. Tomorrow I'm meeting Sydney for brunch and some retail therapy. My mom calls for our regular weekly touch base. Mother, I love her dearly, but she's so out of touch with reality, that it's easier for me to keep all conversations high level. She thinks everyone has a financially stable life, should be married by 28, and have kids before 30. I can only chat with her for a short time, and I usually have to feign a business emergency to get off the phone.
I decide to shower and put my usual home outfit on, booty shorts, and a cami. Today is also my pig-out day, so I'm chilling on my deck with a carton of Ben and Jerry's ice cream, not exactly ready for a FaceTime from Devin when he calls.
When his beautiful face pops up on my screen, it looks like he's sitting by a pool, with palm trees behind him and a gorgeous blue sky. I can't help but smile and those damn butterflies are up and swarming in my belly.
"Hey, Beautiful!" That gorgeous smile spreads across his face, showing me those dimples that I love so much. Oh, be still my heart.
"Hiiii...I'm so happy to see you!" My face is smiling so hard it almost hurts.
"I miss you, baby. I wish you could've come with me. Maybe next time?"
I can't help but smile...next time. "That would be really nice."
"I rented a car, so I can get around, come and go as I please. I'll head to see Ethan in a bit, but I had to see you first, baby. It'll probably be late there when I get back, but I'll call you, ok?"
"It's fine, Devin...remember I said you can call me anytime, right?"
He chuckles softly. "Yeah, I do remember that. Well, I'm going to run and grab some food and head out. Talk to you soon, baby."
I wanted to tell Devin that I love him, but I'm not quite ready, and I'm not sure if he is either.
I'm about to head to bed; it's 1 o'clock in the morning. I've tried to wait up, but I haven't heard from him. Disappointment tries to invade my brain, but I won't hang on to that. I'm sure he's having a ball with Ethan.