// self harm, alcohol, drug use
"Are you crazy? I'm not blocking you anywhere. If you wanted to cut me off, why would you post those pictures?" I know I was talking nonsense, but it was all I could think of at the moment.
"Unfollow that account if you want, I'll be using it as a diary by storing all your pictures there. I'm not staying in contact with you for my own sake"
"Do you really want to? We can figure out a different way to help you"
"I want a relationship and I always have. What's the point of putting all my energy on you if you're not gonna give it to
me? Being friends with you will drain me completely and I would rather be single without friends than be friends with someone that I have basically had a failed relationship with. Even if we did stay friends, you have to admit, it won't be the same anymore"
"I will give you a relationship, I just need time. Nick, please don't give up this fast. You've waited a long time for a relationship so just wait a little longer for me"
Sometimes I hated that I was going through things. I blame myself for setting myself up for this. I kept ignoring my problems since high school and the effect of the unsolved trauma ended up resurfacing when I least needed it to.
"No, I need you to understand that your trauma conflicts with mine. I desperately need assurance because the last
person that I've liked had hold off our 'relationship' for two weeks before laughing at me in front of everyone. I'm surprised I had hope with you for a month"
His words stung me harder than it should've. But there wasn't anything I could do now.
"So you're just gonna leave like this? I'm planning on moving back to Florida in 5 months just for you and somehow you're cutting me off?"
"If you're ready for a relationship in 5 months, contact me. For now, I'm ending whatever friendship or relationship we have right now. If you did something you believed was right for your mental health, I need to do what I believe is right
for mine. Honesty, thanks for making me happy these past months. I really do appreciate it. But I'm going to go now, if that's fine with you"
"No it's not fine. Please just give me time and I'll be whatever you want me to be. I just think that my mind was never ready for a relationship and I didn't bother trying to prepare because I didn't expect to start one"
"Well what would you do Daph? If you were in my shoes, what would you do? Your trauma comes from getting with someone as soon as you meet them then getting cheated on and your response ended up having to mentally prepare yourself by holding off the relationship and staying quiet about your feelings. My trauma comes from having a relationship held off for a long time and the response ended up having me need reassurance that you feel the same way about me all the time or I'm gonna break"
I wanted him to be wrong so badly. But nothing he said was inaccurate to the things we've opened up about each other.
I fell silent, unable to think of what to say next. There was no doubt he was wrong about what he said. Denying it would only hurt me more because I'll be in denial.
The way his words physically hurt me as well. My chest felt like it had been tightened and my heart was slowly shattering.
"Good bye Daphne"
"No, no, no, no- Nick, please-" I begged for him to stay but all I heard was the notification of the call ending.
-
Nick 🐼
nick we can solve this
message not delivered ❗️
there has to be another way
message not delivered ❗️
please
message not delivered ❗️
-
The moment I saw none of my messages were sending, I knew there was no turning back.
His decision was final and there wasn't a way to convince him.
But my mind wouldn't accept that..
Before I knew it, my fingers dragged across my screen, opening discord.
-
Sapnap
LaffyDaffy
Nick please
Clyde
Your message could not be delivered. This is usually because you don't share a server with the recipient or the recipient is only accepting direct messages from friends.
-
He blocked me on discord now too. I check Insta, Twitter and even Snapchat. All of them have me blocked.
Despite my hurting, I somehow felt neutral about it. I didn't cry like I thought I would. It felt like my mind was too busy processing it to actually activate any emotion.
I couldn't help but think maybe it's for the best. I've lived for 2 years just waking up, eating, gaming, then sleeping. It shouldn't be any different now I guess.
There was one thing that stayed in my mind that I needed to clear.
"Hello?"
"Kai, what if we stayed here in California?"
-
3rd Person POV
"You can stop fighting with your girlfriends now, I cut her off"
"YOU WHAT??" The four in the living room synchronously yelled out.
"No shot, did you actually?" Erin was the most surprised. Despite being on Daphne's side the entire time, she knew how much they liked each other with the stories they told.
"I wanted a relationship and she couldn't give it to me. I know it sounds asshole-ish but look at it this way. I ask her out, she friendzones me, I try to make it work but it doesn't" Despite him being very monotone and calm about it, eyes never lie.
Clay gets up from his seat and wraps his arm around the younger friend.
"I loved her, man.." Nick whispers into Clay's ear for only him to hear "I really tried to make it work"
He felt a lot of things but nothing at the same time. It was definitely a negative and sickening feeling, but not something he could distinguish.
There was just something about Daphne that he really liked. Yes, he'll admit he did start liking her for looks. But throughout the weeks he became close to her, he loved that she matched his energy no matter what he said.
The way that she adapted his energy the first time she spoke to him unknowing he was getting high with his friends when talking. Or the way she expressed in many ways that she hated when people were being physical with her yet allowed him to hold her hand or wrap his arm around her.
The way she found safety in him when she was scared to walk alone and he distracted her the entire walk home to make sure her mind didn't fixate on the fear of walking alone at night.
Nick loved all the little things he noticed about her.
"If it's meant to be, you'll find each other some day" Clay whispers back, getting the hint it was something between the two of them.
Although their friend group consisted of 5 people, the closest ones were the three boys who called themselves "Dream Team." Even then, both Nick and Clay were the first ever friends in the group and there were just certain things they'd prefer to keep in between them.
"So this means.. Daphne's not gonna come back?" Wisteria adored Daphne. Knowing that she wasn't coming back to the apartment to hang out with them had somehow broke her heart just a little.
"You guys can stay friends. I know you guys have grown close since I introduced you guys and I don't want to end a friendship that is none of my business"
If only things were that simple.
This lead to a bunch of domino effects that would end up drifting the friends apart.
Because of Daphne losing one of the people she considered important in her life, she requested to cancel the California trip and ended up needing space.
Because no one was there to ground her, she ended up inflicting harm onto herself by cutting her thighs and she ended up becoming a threat to her own life.
She ended up getting caught by Dylan when he realized that she stopped wearing her shirt skirts and really short shorts and just confessing to him what happened.
She eventually did stop the cutting but Dylan had lost control over her when she started being either high or drunk all the time. She'd come home with either bloodshot red eyes or unable to walk in a straight line.
It came to the point where even Kai couldn't do anything about it and that's when they all knew that nothing would help her but herself.
And that was all because she fell in love with a guy at a wrong time.
-
a/n: trust me, it gets better