House of Cards
'You're my person, you're mine.'
"Baby, are you sure you're alright?" It's funny how one single incident can drastically change the way we look at things. The nickname he gave her, the name that sends tingles down her body seemed rather unsettling.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm alright." She nodded against his neck. She was leaning against his body, head resting on his shoulder and face nuzzled in his neck. They were spending time together, Namjoon busy with the setlist for the upcoming concerts while Mishil simply basked in his warmth.
"You've been rather quiet since we came back from the practice hall, is everything alright?" Why was she even trying to fool? This man was soo observant that nothing could ever evade his eyes. "Don't worry Joon, I'm just a bit tired," She assured, snuggling further into his neck.
"Then sweetheart, get some rest. You don't have to stay awake with me," He attempted to push her towards the pillows behind him. "I rarely get to spend time with you and now you want to put me to sleep. It's almost like you don't wanna spend time with me," Mishil pouted, glaring at her soulmate. Of course, she was joking but the underlying curiosity to see how Namjoon would react to this was there. Truly, words really are the strongest weapons. Capable of destroying something built soo strongly, soo carefully in literal seconds.
To his credit, Namjoon meanwhile, laughed and placed a gentle kiss on the crown of her head. "If it was left to me, I'd have brought you to stage to me but baby, your well-being is the topmost priority to me and then again;" He shoved the MacBook and the papers away from him before wrapping his arms around her and letting their backs hit the pillows. "You're mine for the rest of my life, so what's the rush?"
Mishil giggled, her cheeks flaming as she buried her face in his chest. "You and your cheesy words," She spoke to the material of his t-shirt. "Hey! They aren't cheesy. They are the truth! You should know," He laughed, running his hands down her back. "Yeah, yeah Mr lyrical genius! I admit! Finish your work and then we can go to bed!" "But I wanna cuddle!" He pouted like he was a 5-year-old. "Get up Joonie!" Mishil laughed, using all her strength to pull her boyfriend back to a seated position.
Once he was sitting albeit pouting, Mishil made herself comfortable on his exposed thigh, her black hair spread across the expanse of his lap. The buzzing of the golden soulmate energy on the crook of her neck was too much for Mishil to almost whimper out. But nonetheless, she swallowed the urge and made herself comfortable in his lap. "Here! I'm as close as I can be. Now finish your leader duties. I'm waiting," Namjoon laughed silently before leaning down to press a kiss on her temple and then returning to double-check the setlist and the arrangements for their next concert in Newark.
Mishil busied herself with her phone, listening to music. And Namjoon would've kept on working for who knows how long until he heard his girlfriend humming to his newest solo. Smiling gently, he gathered his papers and shut his laptop before setting them aside and proceeding to slide down until he was at eye level with her, their heads on the mattress. The soulmate energy coursing through their veins, making their sore limbs feel lighter. They were simply holding hands, lying against each other but the intensity of the soulmate energy made the both of them sigh.
"I wrote that song thinking about you," He shyly confessed, making Mishil's eyes go wide. Tossing her phone and headphones aside, she turned to him. "About me?" "Well technically I didn't know who you were but I thought about my soulmate while writing it. I wasn't exactly keen on finding my soulmate; well you know that story." He avoided the topic, knowing all too well how much both of them hated the subject,
"When I, Yoongi Hyung and Hope-ah decided to have 3 solo tracks for the album; Yoongi Hyung instantly decided to have the theme of Seesaw. You know a tiring relationship and Hope-ah went for his passion mixing it with the want to dance with someone else. Because the both of them are the only ones who haven't found their soulmate in Bangtan," He snickered mischievously making Mishil snicker along. "And I was left alone!" He pouted cutely, making Mishil giggle out and place a kiss on the pout.
"Themeless and completely blank. I was almost going to give up when Jiminie and Mi-Eun bonded. I mean, it was clear that they were going to be soulmates but their bonding really shoved the idea in my face. I wasn't exactly informed or experienced in the romantic field so it took me a while. But I was actually thinking about what I feel about love in general. What I would say to my soulmate and what I really feel about them. When the song was finished and I felt I had written a full-fledged letter to my soulmate; in case I ever found them that is," While he talked about his music, waving hands and sparkling eyes, Mishil simply kept on listening to him, watching as the passion for music tumbled out of his words.
He was capable of pouring his heart out through lyrics and explaining the most complex of emotions simply through the simplistic beauty of lyricism. "I wrote it so that whoever might be my soulmate would understand that I didn't hate them. I was just unsure if I was capable of taking care of another person. If I was fully prepared to have someone else in my life."
"It's a beautiful song Joonie," Mishil assured. "Had you told me before, I'd have understood your feelings and given you more time, to you know adjust,"
"Now don't say that Mish," Namjoon turned to look her in the eye. "What has happened, happened for the best. And I wouldn't have it any other way,"
"I'm glad you're mine," Mishil mumbled against the skin of his neck, breathing in his scent. Namjoon looked down at her fondly, kissing her hair. "Speaking of love, can I ask you something?" Her voice went down to a shy mumble, almost inaudible. "You know you can baby," He squeezed her form reassuringly.
"Did you have someone in your life before me?" This. This was the question she'd been meaning to ask all evening. His honesty was all she needed. This answer to this question determined if the crack in the trust would be mended or if it would crack even more.
His silence scared her. His lack of response scared her. The way he stared into the ceiling instead of turning to look her in the eye. Love was a scary thing, truly. How the simplest of someone's actions, their words, their touch and everything they do ends up mattering so much that it almost hurts. As much as Mishil didn't acknowledge it, she was very much attached to her soulmate. She loved him and she knew that.
"I won't say that I didn't have anyone." Namjoon started, his voice was cautious. "I'm a human like any other baby. So, I did have a few flings here and there, and I did think some of them would get serious. But none of them did. And after a while, I was done with people and I had given up. But none of that matters to me anymore," Finally he turned to look her in the eye. They were swirling with an odd sort of emotions, the sincerity of his words seeping out of his eyes. "I'd trade all of that, everything, to find you sooner,"
How did he do this? How did he make mere words so expressive and so beautiful? How did he make her heart clench soo hard? How did he make her soo happy that she could cry?
Who leant forward first, they don't know. But their lips meet halfway, almost with bruising force as their hands became busy pulling the other as close as possible. They met like fierce crashing waves, a frenzied mess of lips, tongue and teeth. They knew all too well what they wanted.
"Namjoon!" Mishil gasped as she felt his mouth stray from her lips and venture downwards to her jawline and her neck. He sloppily kissed all over her neck before settling to suck the juncture of her neck and shoulder. "Love," He rasped, retrieving his face from her neck, and looking her in the eye. He didn't even realize when she got on top, straddling his thighs. But as if he cared
Holy Shit she looked soo good on top. Hair messed up all thanks to Namjoon's fingers that were now knotted in her tresses, roughly ravaging them just seconds ago. Her lips were swollen and kiss-burned and a fiery want swirled in her eyes.
"Baby, if we start, I don't plan on stopping," He told her, focusing on the issue at hand. Which was proving to be very hard now that Mishil's lower half rested on top of his. "I need to know if you're 100% sure," Mishil was fully blown away, now. She didn't even need to say that she hadn't done this before. Just how transparent was she to him?
She sighed, "I have had instances like yours, where I thought I had found my person. But the truth is," Her fingers unconsciously scratched patterns in his chest. The scraping of nails against the thin barrier of the flimsy t-shirt was making Namjoon almost lose his mind. "You're my person. You're mine, Joonie. And if anyone has to be my first then it's only you. I'm 1000% sure,"
In a flash, he flipped them over, fingers still tangled up in her hair. "You're the best thing that has ever happened to me," by the gentle yet passionate kiss he gave her, she knew that these were the most sincere words anyone had ever told her.
"Last time baby," He panted, looking into her eyes after painting almost the entire expanse of her neck with hickies, his fingers scratching her ribs. "We do not have to-" He felt her dainty fingers grab his hair and smash her lips against his. Once they came up for air, she glared at him and hissed. "As much I love you and I love how cautious you are, ask me again and so help me Lord, I will lose my damn mind!"
His eyes truly darkened with lust this time, whipping the forsaken clothing off his body and then ripping his soulmate's t-shirt off, with the same urgency and fierceness. "Well your wish is my command baby," He darkly smirked, leaning down.
Trust. Dangerous thing isn't it? How darn fragile it was. How much of a house of cards it was. How easily it collapsed, taking relationships down with it. How hard it was to build it back. How easy it could be to build it again if you're just transparent. How it can make you count on a person soo much that you allow them to have you in your most vulnerable form. How it makes you believe in a person, enough to trust them with your life.
This was trust. The firm belief in the reliability of someone. That was what Mishil had on Namjoon. That's what made him love her; how much she trusted him.
Guess who threw herself off her chair a bazillion times before actually finishing this chapter.
No, I did not name the chapter 'House of Cards' because I think it is a thirsty ass song. I know what it is and it fits the theme of this chapter fairly well. The drama and mess in the previous chapter and this chapter truly signify my attempt at explaining how easy it is to make or break someone's trust. It breaks from the slightest nudge like the house of cards and requires care and attention to build just like one would usually invest in building one. That's what I tried to explain. That's what Mishil was feeling in the course of the last two chapters. And yes! This is as far as I will be going😳
Things between the soulmates seem fixed. But then again, things aren't always as it seems 😌
I hope this update makes up for the lack of updates for a while. Updates will be more regular now that the holidays are here. Pray, I don't get into another writer's block!
Oh lord, I need to go and chill out!
And darn my Spotify for playing the thirstiest songs I have on my playlist right when I was writing this.
Anyway, vote and comment.
I'll see you guys at the next one
Love
Fay