Donna Noble walked purposely along a busy London street, smartly dressed in a black suit and carrying a red folder in her hand. Her destination: Adipose Industries, a company that had sprung up a couple of months ago, and sold weight loss pills. There were numerous conspiracy theories about the company on the Internet, and Donna was going to investigate. Ever since her disastrous wedding, she had developed an interest in investigating strange stuff.
Little did she know, she wasn't the only person interested in investigating the company.
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The Doctor and the Artist strode hand-in-hand along another London street, with the Doctor dressed in his trademark brown suit and coat, while the Artist was wearing the same outfit she'd worn while undercover at Deffry Vale. They were also bound for Adipose Industries, having heard the rumours and theories about the company too, and so they had decided to investigate themselves.
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Donna paused outside the Adipose building, an impressive-looking tower block, then she made her way in through the front entrance, past a receptionist on the phone.
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The Time Lords approached a fire exit at the rear of the Adipose building. "Care to do the honours?" the Doctor asked.
"My pleasure." the Artist replied and flashed her sonic screwdriver on the door, unlocking it. The Doctor pulled it open, then they made their way inside.
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Donna reached a door guarded by a security guard, "Donna Noble, health and safety." she said, showing him an ID card. He nodded his consent and let her pass.
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The Time Lords walked down a corridor in the building's cellar area, past another security guard. "John Smith, Nancy Jones, health and safety." the Doctor said as he and the Artist flashed their psychic paper to the guard.
"Just think; soon it'll be Nancy Smith." the Artist remarked once the guard was out of earshot.
"I can't wait." the Doctor grinned. It had been four months since he'd proposed to the Artist and although they were yet to set a date for their nuptials, they were definitely enjoying their engaged status.
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Donna was soon sat in an auditorium with members of the press, listening to the company's head, Miss Foster, a stern-looking blonde woman with glasses, give a speech about the company's product. "Adipose Industries, the 21st century way to lose weight." she announced, sounding like a TV advert, "No exercise, no diet, no pain. Just lifelong freedom from fat. The holy grail of the modern age. And here it is." She held up a white & red capsule. "You just take one capsule. One capsule, once a day for three weeks, and the fat, as they say..."
"The fat just walks away." a male voice on her computer said.
A black woman sitting next to Donna held her hand up. "Excuse me, Miss Foster, if I could?" she called, "I'm Penny Carter, science correspondent for the Observer. There are a thousand diet pills on the market, a thousand con men stealing people's money. How do we know the fat isn't going straight into your bank account?"
"Oh, Penny, if cynicism burnt off calories, we'd all be thin as rakes." Miss Foster snorted, "But if you want the science, I can oblige."
The screen behind her began playing a presentation. "Adipose Industries." the male computer voice announced, "The Adipose capsule is composed of a synthesised, mobilising lipase, bound to a large protein molecule. The mobilising lipase breaks up the triglycerides stored in the adipose cells, which then enter..."
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The Doctor and the Artist were standing in the projection room above the auditorium watching the presentation. "We've got company." the Artist told the Doctor telepathically, and he turned to see that the projectionist had returned.
"Health and safety." the Doctor said to the man, "Film department."
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"100% legal, 100% effective." Miss Foster said as the presentation finished.
"But can I just ask, how many people have taken the pills to date?" Penny asked.
"We've already got 1,000,000 customers in the Greater London area alone." Miss Foster answered, "But from next week, we start rolling out nationwide. The future starts here. And Britain will be thin."
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"I'll never understand this human obsession with being thin." the Artist remarked to the Doctor as they left the projection room, "I've seen some of their celebrities, they're just skin and bones."
"Wasn't much better back on Galifrey." the Doctor replied, "I remember at the academy, my old mate the Corsair, he used to get picked on cos' he had a bit of a belly. Me and the Master were the only ones who bothered to get to know him. Smashing bloke he was."
"Oh yeah, I met the Corsair once." the Artist said, "She was a woman when I met her. I had to help her rewire her TARDIS. She was a good person. Martha reminded me of her."
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A little later, Donna entered Adipose Industries' call centre and approached a male worker at his desk. "That's a three-week course of pills for the special price of £45." he said into his earpiece.
"Donna Noble from health and safety, don't mind me." Donna whispered as she sat down next to him.
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The Doctor and the Artist walked over to a female worker. "We deliver within three working days." she said into her earpiece.
"John Smith, Nancy Jones, health and safety, don't mind us." the Doctor whispered as they joined her.
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"The box comes with 21 days worth of pills, and a full information pack and our special free gift, an Adipose Industries pendant." the male worker said as Donna picked up a box from his desk and looked at the gold capsule-shaped pendant inside it.
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"It's made of 18-carat gold and it's yours for free." the female worker said as the Time Lords studied the pendant from her desk, "No, we don't give away pens, sorry. No, I can't make exceptions, no."
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"I'll just need to keep this for testing." Donna said to the male worker, slipping the pendant into her pocket, "And I just need a list of your customers. Could ya print it off?"
"I suppose so." the man shrugged, no longer on the phone.
"Where's the printer?"
"Over there, by the plant."
Donna stood up and looked over the cubicle walls. "Which plant? That plant?"
"Yeah, that's the one." he nodded.
"Lovely." Donna sat down again.
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The Doctor stood up. "That's the printer there?" he asked the female worker.
"By the plant, yeah." the woman nodded.
"Brilliant." the Doctor replied, sitting down again.
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Donna stood up again. "Does it need a code? Last place I worked, the printer needed a code."
"No, I can do it from here." the man replied.
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Donna sat down again, just before the Doctor stood again. "Has it got paper?" he asked.
"Yeah, Jimbo keeps it stocked." the woman replied.
The Artist grabbed the Doctor and pulled him down again, just before Miss Foster came striding into the room, accompanied by two guards. "Excuse me, everyone." she announced, "If I could have your attention." The workers all stood, while Donna and the Time Lords crouched down to avoid being spotted. "On average, you're each selling 40 Adipose packs per day. That's not enough." Miss Foster told her staff, "I want 100 sales per person per day. And if not, you'll be replaced. Cos' if anyone's good at trimming the fat, it's me. Now, back to it." She and her goons strode off.
"Charming woman." the Artist remarked to the Doctor, then turned to the female worker; "If you could just print that off for us, thanks. Then we'll leave you to it."
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"So, if you could just print off that list, I'll get out ya way." Donna said to the man and got up, "Lovely, thanks. See ya." And she walked over to the printer.
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"Thanks, then." the Doctor said as he and the Artist got up to leave, when the woman handed him a slip of paper "Oh, what's that?"
"My telephone number." she replied.
"What for?" the Doctor frowned.
"Health and safety." the woman replied in a flirty tone, "You be health, I'll be safety."
The Doctor realised what she was implying. "Already got my safety, thanks." he said flatly while the Artist held up her left hand, where her engagement ring sat proudly.
"Oh, right, sorry." the woman muttered, abashed, as the Time Lords got and went over to the printer, moments after Donna had left with the first print out. They grabbed the second print out and left too.
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That evening, Donna knocked on the door of a house. A portly woman answered. "Stacey Campbell?" Donna asked.
"Who wants to know?" the woman questioned.
"Uh, my name's Donna. I represent Adipose Industries." She flashed Stacey her ID card. "And you're on the list of our valued customers."
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Meanwhile, the Doctor and the Artist had arrived at the house of another customer on the list. The Artist knocked and a middle-aged man answered. "Mr Roger Davey, good evening, we're calling on behalf of Adipose Industries." the Artist introduced, showing him her psychic paper, "We just need to ask you a few questions."
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Donna was sat in Stacey's living room, while the woman preened herself in the mirror. "It's been fantastic." Stacey gushed, "I started the pills on Thursday. Five days later, I've lost 11 pounds."
"And no side effects or anything?" Donna questioned.
"No, I feel fantastic." Stacey replied, "It's a new lease of life."
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In Roger's house, the Time Lords had asked him about the pills. "I've been on the pills two weeks now." he told them, "I've lost 14 kilos."
"That's the same amount every day?" the Doctor questioned.
"One kilo exactly." Roger nodded, "You wake up, and it's disappeared overnight. Well, technically speaking, it's gone by ten past one in the morning."
"What makes you say that?" the Artist asked. That seemed an unusually specific time.
"That's when I get woken up." Roger replied, "Might as well weigh myself at the same time."
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"You going on a date?" Donna asked, eying Stacey's clothing.
"I'm doing the opposite." Stacey replied, "I'm dumping him. I can do better than him now. Right, I won't be long. If the taxi beeps, give me a shout." She went upstairs to the loo.
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"It is driving me mad." Roger said to the Time Lords, "10 minutes past one, every night, band on the dot, without fail, the burglar alarm goes off." He led them outside and showed them the burglar alarm. "I've had experts in, I've had it replaced, I've even phoned Watchdog." Roger explained, "But no, 10 past one in the morning, off it goes."
"But with no burglars?" the Doctor questioned.
"Nothing, I've given up looking." Roger confirmed.
"Do you have a cat flap, Mr Davey?" the Artist asked.
As it turned out, Roger did. They were soon kneeling down by it, with the Doctor propping it open with his sonic. "It was here when I bought the house." Roger explained, "I've never bothered with it, really. I'm not a cat person."
"No, we've met cat people, you're nothing like 'em." the Doctor muttered.
"Is that what it is, though?" Roger questioned, "Cats getting inside the house?"
"Well, thing about cat flaps is, they don't just let things in, they let things out as well." the Doctor observed.
"Like what?" Roger questioned.
"The fat just walks away." the Artist murmured, recalling Adipose's tagline. Maybe it was literal.
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"Won't be long." Stacey called from upstairs
"Oh, that's alright." Donna called back. She pulled out the pendant she'd gotten from Adipose Industries and absentmindedly started playing with it.
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The Time Lords had finished at Roger's house and were just leaving. "Well, thanks for your help." the Doctor said, "Tell ya what, maybe you should lay off the pills for a week or so." At that moment, something started to beep and the Doctor pulled out a Y-shaped electronic gadget from his coat pocket. "Gotta go, sorry!" he said to Roger, then took the Artist's hand, and the Time Lords rushed away.
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In Stacey's house, Donna began concerned when she heard groaning from upstairs. "You alright up there?" she called.
"Yeah." Stacey called down, but Donna wasn't convinced.
The ginger got up and went to the bottom of the stairs. "I like what ya done with the hall." she called up, "Stacey? You alright?" She received no answer, so she began to make her way upstairs. "Wouldn't mind a little visit myself. Everything alright in there?" She knocked on the bathroom door. "It's only me. D'you mind if I popped to the loo? Stacey?"
Stacey finally answered; "Oh, help me! Oh my god, help me!"
Donna tried the door, but it was locked. "What is it? What's wrong?" she called. Then she heard Stacey scream, followed by a squelching sound. She put her shoulder to the door and burst in to find Stacey's clothes lying on the floor, but no sign of the woman herself. Donna looked around the room and saw a little white creature that appeared to be made of fat standing by the open window. The creature waved at her and jumped out the window.
Donna could only stare in disbelief. Turned out she was right to investigate.
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The Doctor and the Artist ran hand-in-hand down a street, following the signal from the gadget the Doctor was holding. The beeping started to fade, so the Artist took the gadget and made some adjustments. The beeping sped up again, and the Time Lords took off in the direction it indicated. They turned onto another street just as a black van sped down it. The gadget indicated that whatever was causing it to beep was inside the van, so they ran after it, but it was too fast.
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Donna ran out of Stacy's house just as a black cab pulled up outside. "Stacey Campbell?" the driver asked.
"No, she's gone." Donna told him.
"Gone where?"
"She's just gone."
"Oh great. Thanks for nothing." the driver grumbled and drove away.
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Donna returned to the Noble house in Chiswick. As soon as she got through the front door, she heard Sylvia's voice call out; "And what time's this?!"
Donna rolled her eyes. She'd always had a prickly relationship with her mother, which had worsened ever since her dad Geoff had passed away with heart problems last year. "How old am I?" Donna grunted.
"Not old enough to use a phone." Sylvia retorted, peeing out from the kitchen.
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Donna was soon sat in the kitchen, drinking a cup of tea and listening to her mother ranting. "I thought you were only moving back for a couple of weeks. Look at you. I mean, you've never gonna find a flat, not while ya on the dole. It's no good sitting there, dressed up, looking like you're job hunting. You've gotta do something. It's not like the 1980's. No one's unemployed these days except you. How long did that job with health & safety last? Two days, and then you walk out! 'I have other plans' Well, I've not seen 'em! And it's no good sitting there dreaming. No one's gonna come along with a magic wand and make ya life all better." Donna rolled her eyes again. Two people with magic wands had come into her life and offered her a chance to see things beyond her wildest dreams but she'd turned them down, a decision she'd come to regret.
With Sylvia having finished ranting, Donna could get a word in now. "Where's Granddad?" she asked.
"Where d'ya think he is?" Sylvia answered, "Up the hill. He's always up the hill."
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Donna changed into casual clothes and made her way up a hill near the house. As she reached the top, she saw her grandfather, Wilfred Mott, emerge from a shed. "Aye, aye, here comes trouble." he remarked.
"Permission to board ship, sir." Donna answered.
"Permission granted." Wilfred replied, "Was she nagging you?"
"Big time!" Donna laughed. She'd always been closer to her dad and granddad then her mother. "Brought you a thermos." She handed him a thermos of hot tea.
"Oh, thanks." Wilfred nodded, taking it and sitting down behind a telescope. He'd always had a fascination with the stars, and it had been strengthened by all the strange happenings over the past few years. Just last Christmas Eve, he'd been manning his newspaper stall in the town, when he'd seen three people literally vanish before his eyes. One moment they were talking to him, the next, they disappeared into thin air.
"You seen anything?" Donna asked him, sitting down beside him.
"Yeah, I've got Venus. Yeah, with an apparent magnitude of minus 3.5 at least. That's what it says in my little book. Here, have a see, there ya go." Donna peered through the scope. "That's the only planet in the solar system named after a woman."
"Good for her." Donna smiled, "How far away is that?"
"Oh, it's about 26,000,000 miles." Wilfred replied, "But we'll get there, one day. 100 year's time, we'll be striding about amongst the stars, jiggling about with all them aliens, just you wait."
"You really believe in all that stuff, don't you?"
"Oh, they'll over the place these days. If I wait here long enough..."
"I don't suppose you've seen a little blue box?" Donna asked.
"Is that slang for something?"
"No, I mean it." Donna replied, "If you ever see a little blue box flying up there in the sky, you shout for me, gramps. Oh, you just shout."
"D'yer know, I don't understand half the things you say these days." Wilfred remarked. He'd noticed a change in his granddaughter over this past year. She was just as loud as ever, but she seemed more thoughtful and sullen these days.
"Nor me." Donna shrugged.
"No, fair dues." Wilfred said, "You've had a funny old time of it lately. There was poor old what's his name, Lance, bless him. That barmy old Christmas. I wish you'd tell us what really happened." He'd been bedridden with Spanish flu during Donna's ill-fated wedding, so had missed it.
"I know." Donna sighed, "It's just... The things I've seen, sometimes I think I'm going mad. I mean, even tonight, I was in a... Doesn't matter."
"Well, you're not yourself, I'll give you that." Wilfred observed, "You seem to be drifting, sweetheart."
"I'm not drifting." Donna replied, "I'm waiting."
"What for?"
"The right man."
"Oh, ho, ho. Same old story, a man!" Wilfred chortled.
"No, I don't mean like that." Donna laughed, "He's already got a girlfriend. I'm waiting for her too. But they're real. I've seen 'em. I've met 'em, just once. And then, I let 'em fly away."
"Well, there ya are, go and find 'em."
"I've tried. They're nowhere." Donna had searched high and low over London to try and find the Time Lords, but to no avail. She'd even tried investigating some creepy old house where they'd apparently been, judging by some writing on one of the walls, but all she'd found were some creepy angel statues in the cellar.
"Hey, not like you to give up." Wilfred said, "Yer know, I remember when you was about six years old, your mother said; 'no holiday this year.' So, off you toddled all on your own and you got on a bus to Strathclyde. Hah! We 'ad the police out and everything! Hah! Where's she gone, then? Where's that girl, eh?"
"You're right." Donna said, her determination renewed, "Cos' they're still out there, somewhere. And I'll find 'em, gramps, even if I have to wait 100 years, I'll find 'em."
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Meanwhile, the Doctor was in the TARDIS console room examining the pendant they'd acquired from Adipose Industries with a magnifying glass when the Artist came back in, having changed into casual clothes. "So, what's the verdict?" she asked him.
"Seems to be a bio-flip digital switch." the Doctor replied, "Specifically for.." He tailed off when he saw the Artist's new outfit. She was wearing an olive green canvas jacket, a white vest top, TARDIS blue ripped skinny jeans but had kept her signature black biker boots. "New look?" he asked her.
"Yeah, I felt it was time for a change." the Artist replied. After wearing mostly her biker outfit for 54 years, she fancied wearing something different, and with a bit of colour to show that she was putting the Time War behind her and moving on. "What d'ya think?" she asked him, doing a twirl so he could get an all-round view of her new outfit.
"You look gorgeous, as always." the Doctor replied, making her blush, "And ya all mine, my beautiful fiancé." He walked over to her and pulled her into his arms, kissing her.
"And you're all mine, my handsome husband-to-be." the Artist answered, kissing him back.
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Next morning, Donna left her house and approached the Noble's blue car. "It's my turn for the car!" Sylvia moaned from the front doorway, "What'd you need it for?"
"A quick getaway." Donna replied, getting into the driver's seat. She started the car up and drove off.
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The Doctor and the Artist commenced their usual routine of dashing round the TARDIS console, flipping switched and pulling levers. After they'd finished their kissing session, the Doctor had told the Artist what the pendant was for, and so they were now piloting the TARDIS to Adipose Industries to investigate further.
The Doctor smirked when he saw the Artist whacking the console with the mallet, usually it was him doing all the whacking. He'd noticed that there had been a change in the Artist ever since he'd proposed to her at Christmas, she was a lot more care free and seemed to be taking more enjoyment in there adventures together though still without any of the arrogance or blaséness that the Doctor admitted could sometimes be his downfall.
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Donna parked in an alley behind the Adipose building and went the rest of the way on foot. Just after she'd left the alley, the TARDIS materialised a few feet behind the car. The Doctor and the Artist got out and made their way towards the building.
Donna entered the building through the front door, while the Time Lords entered via the fire exit they'd used before, the Doctor doing the sonicing this time. Donna made her way through the call centre. "Morning." she said to the man she'd spoken to yesterday as she passed him.
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The Doctor and the Artist made their way through the cellar, which was deserted. The Artist used her sonic to unlock a door and they went inside a cupboard, while Donna entered the ladies' bathroom and went inside a cubicle, ready to wait out the day.
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At 18:10, the offices closed and the staff went home for the night. The Doctor came out of the cupboard, his hair ruffled and his tie askew. The Artist followed, her hair tousled and messy. The Doctor sorted his tie out while the Artist fixed her hair, then they went off hand-in-hand to commence their investigation.
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In the ladies' bathroom, Donna was just leaving the cubicle when her mobile rang, so she went back inside and answered it. "Not now." she whispered.
"I need the car." Sylvia's voice came over the other end, "Where are you?"
"I can't. I'm busy."
"Why're you whispering?" Sylvia asked.
"I'm in church." Donna whispered sarcastically.
"What are you doing in church?"
"Praying."
"Huh! Bit late for that, madam!"
"What's she in church for?" Donna head Wilfred's voice say.
"Hush, you. Go up the hill." Sylvia told him, then turned back to Donna, "But I need the car. I'm going out with Suzette. She's asked all the Wednesday girls. Apparently, she's been on those Adipose pills. She says she looks marvellous."
At that moment, Donna heard the bathroom door being opened so she promptly hung up. "We know you're in here." Miss Foster's voice called out, "So why don't you make this nice and easy and show yourself?" Donna pulled her legs off the floor, hoping they wouldn't find her. "I'm waiting." Miss Foster said, "I warn you, I'm not a patient woman. Now, out you come." Donna didn't move. "Right." Miss Foster said, "We'll do it the hard way. Get her." Donna heard the sound of doors being forced open, clearly Miss Foster's guards doing that. Donna could only listen as the sound got closer and closer and closer until Miss Foster said; "There you are." But it wasn't Donna that she'd found.
"I've been through all your records, Foster." Donna heard Penny Carter's voice say, "And all of your results have been faked. There's something about those pills you're not telling us."
"Oh, I think I'll be conducting this interview, Penny." Miss Foster replied nonchalantly.
Donna heard footsteps, clearly them leaving the room. She waited a few seconds to make sure the coast was clear, then she left the cubicle and went off to find out what was going on.
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The Doctor and the Artist made their way across the roof of the building, where a window cleaner's cradle was located. They climbed in and the Doctor activated it, causing it to lower away. They stopped it outside the window to Miss Foster's office and were just about to open the window when they saw Miss Foster and her goons escorting Penny at gunpoint towards the office, so they both ducked down below the window. The Doctor took out his stethoscope and put one end in his ear and the Artist took the other so they could listen to what was being said.
"This is ridiculous." they heard Penny grumble.
"Sit there." Miss Foster ordered.
"I'm phoning my editor."
"I said, sit!"
"You can't tie me up!" the Time Lords heard Penny protest a moment later, "What sort of a country do you think this is?"
"Oh, it's a beautifully fat country." was Miss Foster's answer, "And believe me, I've travelled a long way to find obesity on this scale."
"So come on, Miss Foster, those pills what are they?" Penny demanded.
Donna reached the office and crouched behind the door. "Well you might as well have a scoop, since you'll never see it printed." she heard Miss Foster say, "This is the spark of life."
"And what's that supposed to mean?"
"Officially, the capsule attracts all the fat cells and flushed them away. Well, it certainly attracts them, that part's true. But it binds the fat together and galvanises it to form a body."
"What d'ya mean, a body?" Penny questioned.
"I am surprised you never asked about my name." Miss Foster said, "I chose it well. Foster. As in 'Foster mother'...And these are my children."
Donna and the Time Lords all peered up from their hiding places just in time to see Miss Foster place a creature exactly like the one Donna had seen at Stacey's house on the desk. "Are you kidding me? What the hell's that?!" Penny questioned.
"Adipose." Miss Foster replied, "It's called an Adipose. Made out of living fat."
"I don't understand." Penny questioned.
"From ordinary human people." Miss Foster explained.
Donna and the Time Lords looked across the room and saw each other. "Donna?" the Doctor and the Artist mouthed together.
"Doctor, Artist!" Donna mouthed back excitedly.
"But, what, what?" the Doctor blustered, wandering what Donna was doing here of all places.
"Oh my god!" Donna grinned, delighted at finally finding the Time Lords.
"But, how.." the Doctor continued to splutter.
"Doctor, Artist, it's ME!" Donna mouthed to them.
"So we can see." the Artist mouthed back.
"Oh, this is BRILLIANT!" Donna grinned.
"What the hell are you doing there?" the Doctor asked.
"I was looking for YOU TWO." Donna explained.
"What for?"
"I read about this place on the internet. I thought trouble= you two. And this place is weird. So I hid. Back there. Crept along, heard this lot, Looked and found you both. Cos' they..." she stopped suddenly, noticing something on her right.
The Time Lords followed her gaze and saw that Miss Foster had copped them. "Are we interrupting you?" she asked dryly.
"Run!" the Time Lords mouthed to Donna, who did so.
"Get her." Miss Foster ordered her two goons, who moved to go after Donna. The Artist promptly flashed her sonic at the door, locking it to buy Donna some time. "And them." Miss Foster ordered. The Doctor flashed his sonic at the cradle's winch, pulling them up fast.
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Donna hurried up the stairs towards the roof. She met the Time Lords halfway up. "Oh, my god!" she laughed, hugging them both, "I don't believe it!" You've even got the same suit...don't you ever change?" she said to the Doctor. "Loving the new look." she said to the Artist, noting the Time Lady's new jacket and jeans.
"Thanks, Donna, but not the time and place." the Artist replied. As if to prove her point, they heard footsteps and looked down to see the two guards coming up the stairs, armed with rifles.
"Just like old times!" the Doctor grinned, taking the Artist's hand and the trio legged it up the stairs.
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They burst out onto the roof and the Time Lords ran their sonics over the cradle controls. "Cos' I thought, 'How do ya find the Doctor and the Artist?'" Donna rambled excitedly, "And then I thought 'Just look for trouble and then they'll turn up.' So I looked everywhere, you name it: UFO sightings, crop circles, sea monsters. I looked, I found 'em all. Like that stuff about the bees disappearing, I thought 'I bet they're connected.' Cos' the thing is, I believe it all now. You two opened my eyes, all those amazing things out there, I believe 'em all. Well, apart from that replica of the Titanic flying over Buckingham Palace on Christmas Day. I mean, that's gotta be a hoax!" Then she noticed the Artist's engagement ring. "Oh my god, you're both engaged now! Oh, that is brilliant! When's the date?"
"We haven't decided yet." the Doctor waved her off, "And what d'ya mean the bees are disappearing?"
"I dunno. That's what it says on the internet." Donna replied, "But on the same site, there was all these conspiracy theories about Adipose Industries, and I thought 'Let's take a look.'"
"Sorry to cut this short, but we need to move." the Artist said, hoping into the cradle.
"What, in that thing?" Donna asked sceptically.
"Yes, in that thing." the Doctor answered, joining his fiancé in the cradle.
"But if we go down in that, they'll just call us back up again." Donna pointed out.
"No, no, no, cos' we've locked the controls with a sonic cage." the Doctor answered, "We're the only ones who can control it. Not unless she's got a sonic device of her own, which is very unlikely."
"You know, you really should stop saying things like that." the Artist remarked as Donna joined them, "You're just tempting fate."
Once Donna was aboard, the Doctor started the winch and they began to descend. Suddenly, they heard the distinctive buzz of a sonic device, and the cradle began to plummet. The Doctor quickly aimed his sonic at the winch and brought them to a halt at the floor above Miss Foster's office. "Hold on, hold on, we can get in through the window." the Doctor said, beginning to flash his sonic on the window. Suddenly, there was a clunk. "Can't get it open!" the Doctor groaned.
"She must've deadlocked the building." the Artist realised.
"Smash it, then." Donna said, and started to whack the glass with a discarded spanner while the Time Lords pressed their sonics to the glass, intending to crack it with the sonic vibrations. Suddenly, Donna heard a fizzling sound and she looked up to see one of the cables starting to smoke. "She's cutting the cable!" she realised. No sooner had she said it, when the cable snapped and the cradle tilted to one side.
The Doctor and the Artist managed to grab onto the railings, but Donna wasn't so lucky. "Donna!" the Time Lords yelled as the human plunged over the side and was left hanging onto the severed cable.
"Hold on!" the Artist called to her.
"I am!" Donna retorted. The Time Lords tried pulling the cable up, but it was no good.
The Doctor looked up to see Miss Foster starting to cut the other cable with what appeared to be a black pen with a blue sonic wave emitter at the end. He promptly aimed his screwdriver at it, causing it to spark and Miss Foster to drop it. The Doctor expertly caught it and climbed up the cable, then he used the sonic pen to unlock the window.
"I'm gonna fall!" Donna wailed, "I should'da stayed at home!"
"We won't be a minute." the Doctor called down to her as he opened the window. He climbed in, helped the Artist in, then they both raced downstairs to Miss Foster's office, where they could see Donna's legs waving wildly outside the window.
"Is anyone gonna tell me what's going on?" Penny demanded from where she was tied to chair.
"What are you, a journalist?" the Doctor asked as he used the sonic pen to unlock the window.
"Yes."
"Well, make it up as usual." the Artist told her as they opened the window and grabbed Donna's legs.
"Get off!" Donna yelled, thinking it was the goons.
"Donna, it's us." the Artist called to her, "We've got you. We're gonna pull you in."
And sure enough, the Time Lords managed to pull Donna through the window to safety. "I was right." she panted, "It's always like this with you two, isn't it?"
"Oh, yes." the Doctor grinned, "And off we go!" He grabbed the Artist's hand and made to run off.
"Wait a minute." the Artist said, letting go of his hand and pulling out her screwdriver. She flashed it at Penny's ropes, loosening them. "Now do yourself a favour and get out of here!" she warned the journalist as the Doctor took her hand and the trio sped off.
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Donna and the Time Lords ran through the call centre, only to find the exit blocked by Miss Foster and her two goons. "Well, then. At last." Miss Foster said nonchalantly.
"Hello." Donna waved flatly.
"Nice to meet you, I'm the Doctor and this is my fiancé, the Artist." the Doctor introduced.
"Evening." the Artist nodded, "And this is our friend Donna." She indicated the human.
"Partners in crime." Miss Foster remarked, "And evidently off-worlders, judging by your sonic technology."
"Oh yes, I've still got your sonic pen." the Doctor said, pulling out the pen and looking at it, "Nice, I like it. Sleek. It's kinda sleek."
"Oh, it's definitely sleek." Donna agreed.
"Not as good as our screwdrivers, though." the Artist remarked.
"And if you were to sign your real name..." the Doctor said to Miss Foster, "That would be...?"
"Matron Cofélia of the Five-Straighten Classabindi Nursery Fleet. Intergalactic class."
"Ah, a wet nurse." the Artist nodded, "And you're using humans as surrogates, but what for?"
"I've been employed by the Adiposian First Family to foster a new generation after their breeding planet was lost." Cofélia explained.
"What d'ya mean, lost?" the Doctor frowned, "How d'ya lose a planet?"
"Oh, politics are none of my concern." Cofélia waved him off, "I'm just here to take care of the children on behalf of the parents."
"What, like an outer space super-nanny?" Donna asked.
"Yes, if you like."
"So... so these little things, they're made out of fat, yeah? But that woman, Stacey Campbell, there was nothing left of her!"
"Oh, in a crisis, the Adipose can convert bone and hair and internal organs." Cofélia replied, "It makes them a little bit sick, poor things."
"What about poor Stacey?!" Donna glared.
"Seeding a Level 5 planet is against galactic law." the Doctor said sternly.
"Are you threatening me?" Cofélia narrowed her eyes at the Time Lord.
"He's trying to help you, Matron." the Artist said seriously, "What you're doing is wrong, immoral, illegal and obscene. We're giving you one chance; call this off, or we'll have to stop you."
"I hardly think you can stop bullets." Cofélia scoffed, and her goons took aim at the trio.
"No, no, hold on, hold, hold on." the Doctor said, protectively standing in front of the two woman, "One more thing, before dying." He pulled out his sonic screwdriver. "Do you know what happens if you hold two identical sonic devices against each other?"
"No." Cofélia replied stiffly.
"You get a terrible noise, great for shutting arguing humans up." the Artist said, pulling out her screwdriver as well. "But what happens if you hold three together?" she asked the Doctor.
"Dunno, let's find out." the Doctor replied, and with that, the Time Lords held the three sonics together and activated them, creating an absolutely horrendous noise that had Donna, Cofélia and her goons on the floor squirming, covering their ears. So bad was the noise, that a glass partition wall shattered.
Satisfied that their opponents had been stunned for now, the Time Lords switched the sonics off, grabbed Donna and the trio ran for it.
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The trio were soon running through the deserted cellar until they reached the cupboard that the Doctor and the Artist had hidden in earlier. "Well, that's one solution, hiding in a cupboard." Donna remarked as the Time Lords started throwing things out of the cupboard, "I like it."
"This isn't just any old cupboard, Donna." the Artist replied as she and the Doctor slid the back wall over to reveal a green computer core.
"Been hacking into this thing all day." the Doctor explained, "Well...amongst other things. But anyway, the Matron's got a computer core running through the centre of the building."
"It was triple deadlocked so we couldn't get in." the Artist added, "But now we've got the sonic pen, we should have better luck."
The Doctor slipped his glasses on and plugged the pen into the computer core. "She's wired up the whole building." he observed.
Just then, they heard footsteps coming from the down the corridor and Donna peered out of the cupboard to see the two goons running towards them. "They're coming." she warned.
"Right, I'll give us a bit of privacy." the Artist said. She grabbed two wires and held them together. Donna watched as a field of electricity shot out of a wall, stunning the two goons. "There we go. They'll be alright." the Artist said, "Just knocked out for a bit."
"Why's she wired up a tower block?" the Doctor muttered, looking at the computer, "What's it all for?" He handed the Artist the sonic pen and she started sonicing some wiring.
"You both look older." Donna remarked as she watched the Time Lords work.
"Thanks." the Doctor muttered.
"Still on ya own?"
"For the past few months." the Artist replied, "We did have someone travelling with us before that; Martha, Martha Jones, our friend. You'd like her, Donna. She was brilliant. She left to look after her family."
"I destroyed half her life." the Doctor sighed. He felt truly terrible for what the Jones family had suffered at the hands of the Master.
"You did nothing of the sort." the Artist reassured him, "All that was the Master's doing, not yours."
"What about Rose?" Donna asked cautiously.
"She's still lost." the Artist sighed, "But what about you? I thought you were gonna travel the world."
"Easier said than done." Donna replied, "It's like I had that one day with you two, and I was gonna change. I was gonna do so much. And then I woke up the next morning... Same ol' life. It's like you were never there. And I tried.. I did try. I went to Egypt. I was gonna go barefoot and everything. And then it's all bus trips and guidebooks and 'Don't drink the water' and two weeks later, ya back home. It's nothing like being with you two. I must've been mad turning down that offer."
"What offer?" the Doctor asked.
"To come with you two."
"The offer's still open, Donna." the Artist said, "If you want to, that is."
"Oh yes, please!" Donna beamed.
"Great!" the Artist smiled. She'd always hoped that Donna would join them one day. As much as she loved the Doctor, she did miss having another woman to talk to and she could think of no one better than the fiery, headstrong but kind-hearted Donna.
"Inducer activated." the computer announced.
"What's it doing now?" Donna asked as the computer lit up.
"She's started the programme." the Doctor realised, and all over London, baby Adipose began sprouting from people who had taken the Adipose pills. "So far they're just loosing weight." the Doctor said, checking the computer screen, "But the Matron's gone up to emergency parthenogenesis."
"And that's when they convert..." Donna realised.
"Skeletons, organs, everything." the Doctor finished grimly, "A million people are gonna die!"
"Hang on, I'll try this." the Artist said, pulling out the Adipose pendant, "It should cancel the signal." She pulled the capsule on the pendant open to reveal circuitry inside it. "This contains the primary signal." she explained to Donna, "If we can switch it off, the fat will go back to being fat." She plugged the pendant into the computer's wiring.
For a moment, it seemed to work. Then..."Inducer increased." the computer announced.
"No, no, no! She's doubled it!" the Doctor cried, looking at the monitor, "I need..." He ran a hand through his hair, trying to think of something they could do. "Haven't got time. It's too far, we can't override it!" he said frantically, "They're all gonna die!"
"Is there anything I can do?" Donna asked.
"Sorry, Donna, this is way beyond you." the Doctor waved her off, messing about with the computer, "I've gotta double the base pulse, I can't..."
Donna turned to the Artist, who was a lot calmer than the Doctor, but just as worried. "Tell me, what do you need?" Donna asked her.
"We need another capsule to boost the override signal." the Time Lady replied gravely, "But we've only got this one. There's nothing we can do." Donna reached into her pocket and pulled out the pendant she'd acquired yesterday. The trio all shared a relived laugh, then the Artist plugged the pendant into the wiring and the inducer shut down. "Donna Noble, you are brilliant!" the Artist grinned, hugging the human.
Suddenly, a loud electronic hum sounded in the air. "What the hell is that?" Donna breathed.
"I think it's the nursery." the Doctor replied.
"Wait a minute, when you say 'nursery', you don't mean a creche in Notting Hill?" Donna questioned.
"A nursery ship." the Artist confirmed, and sure enough, a huge circular spaceship flew over London, seen by everyone except Wilfred, who was sitting at his telescope on the hill with his back to the city and headphones on, completely oblivious to the ship behind him.
Suddenly, the computer flashed back on again, but not because of the inducer this time. "Incoming signal." it reported, and a voice began speaking in Adiposian over the computer.
"Hadn't we better go and stop 'em?" Donna suggested.
"Hold on, hold on." the Doctor said, "Instructions from the Adiposian First Family" He and the Artist listened, the instructions being translated by the TARDIS for them.
"She's wired this place up to act as a levitation post for the baby Adipose." the Artist noted.
"Ooh!" the Doctor remarked, hearing another instruction, "Oh! We're not the ones in trouble now. She is!"
"We've gotta find her, fast." the Artist urged, and the trio sped off.
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Donna and the Time Lords reached the roof to see the Adipose ship hovering above the building. Several tractor beams reached out of it, bringing the baby Adipose on board. "What're you gonna do, then?" Donna asked, "Blow 'em up?"
"They're just children, they can't help where they came from." the Doctor replied.
"Oh well, that makes a change from last time." Donna remarked. "I knew you'd do him good." she said to the Artist.
"It's different this time." the Artist replied, "The Adipose are peaceful people, unlike the Racnoss. These children won't hurt anyone. And Martha did more good than I did."
"Now, now. Martha was a good friend, but you're my rock." the Doctor told her, squeezing her hand, "You're the one who's been by my side all these years, helping me."
One of the baby Adipose waved at the trio, and they waved back. "I'm waving at fat." Donna remarked.
"Actually, as a diet plan, it sorta works." the Doctor shrugged.
"There she is." the Artist said, spotting Cofélia in one of the levitation beams.
The trio rushed over to the edge of the roof. "Matron Cofélia, listen to us." the Doctor called.
"Oh, I don't think so, Doctor." Cofelia retorted, "And if I never see you again, it'll be too soon."
"Oh, why does no one ever listen?" the Doctor groaned, "I'm trying to help! Just get across to the roof. Can you shift the levitation beam?"
"What, so you can arrest me?" Cofélia scoffed.
"Just listen, we saw the Adiposian instructions." the Doctor told her urgently, "They know it's a crime, breeding on Earth, so what's the one thing they wanna get rid of? The accomplice!"
"I'm far more than that." Cofélia said loftily, "I'm nanny to all these children."
"But that's just it." the Artist told her, "The parents have the kids now, they don't need the nanny anymore."
And at that moment, the levitation beam deactivated.
The trio wisely turned their heads as Cofélia fell screaming to her death. When they looked up, they saw the Adipose ship ready to leave. The children waved from the portholes as the ship regained height and left Earth.
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When the trio got outside the building, they found police and paramedics arriving on the scene. The Doctor pulled out the sonic pen, snapped it in two and chucked the remains in a bin. "Oi, you three!" a voice called, and they turned to see Penny come over, tied to a chair, again. "You're just mad, d'ya hear me?" she grumbled, "Mad! And I'm reporting ya all for... madness!"
"Yeah, good luck with that." the Artist said dryly, using her sonic to free Penny again.
"Ya see, some people just can't take it." Donna remarked as they watched the reporter fume away.
"No." the Doctor agreed.
"And some people can, while others can't at first, but do eventually." the Artist added, recalling what Donna was like the last time they'd met her.
"So then, TARDIS. Come on!" Donna grinned, linking arms with both Time Lords and dragging them away.
They reached the alley where Donna's car and the TARDIS were waiting. "That's my car!" Donna squealed, "That is like destiny! And I've been ready for this. I packed ages ago just in case." She opened the boot and began pulling suitcases out. "Cos' I thought, hot weather, cold weather, no weather." She handed the cases to the Doctor, and some travel bags to the Artist. "You two go anywhere, so I've gotta be prepared."
"You've got a hatbox." the Doctor remarked, eyeing one of the boxes.
"Planet of the hats, I'm ready." Donna replied.
"So we can see." the Artist chuckled.
They made their way over to the TARDIS. "I don't need injections, do I?" Donna rambled, "Ya know like when ya go to Cambodia, is there any of that? Cos' my friend Veena went to Bahrain, and she..." She tailed off when she noticed that neither of them had answered. "You're both quiet."
"No, it's just..." the Doctor shook his head, "It's a funny old life, in the TARDIS."
"You don't want me." Donna frowned.
"That's not what he's saying." the Artist told her, "In fact, we'd love you to come, but it's just that...Martha and her family ended up having a hard time. And that was not your fault." she told the Doctor.
"We just want a mate." the Doctor added.
"You just want to mate?" Donna glared.
"We just want a mate." the Doctor tried to clarify.
"You're not mating with me, sunshine!" Donna spluttered.
"A mate, as in a friend." the Artist told her, trying not to laugh at the little misunderstanding.
"Well, just as well, cos' I'm not having any of that nonsense." Donna said in relief. She knew that a couple of her granddad's friends were swingers but she couldn't see that being the Doctor and the Artist's thing nor was it hers. "I mean, I'd rather leave all that kinda mating to you two."
"That's fine by us." the Doctor replied. The Artist was the only person he was interested in mating with.
"Well, that's settled, then." the Artist said, "If you're gonna be our mate, then your gonna need this." She went inside the TARDIS and returned a moment later with a key. "TARDIS key." she told Donna, handing her the key, "Rose and Martha had one, so it's only right that you do too."
The talk of keys reminded Donna of something. "Car keys!" she realised, "I've still got my mum's car keys. I won't be a minute.
She rushed off out of the alley and back onto the main road, where some bystanders were watching the police tend to the scene. "I know, Mum, I saw it. Little fat people." Donna said into her phone, "Listen, I've gotta go. I'm gonna stay with Veena for a bit."
"But it was in the sky..." Sylvia blustered over the phone.
"Yeah, I know. Spaceship." Donna brushed her off, "But I've still got the car keys. Look, there's a bin on Brook Street, about 30 feet from the corner. I'm gonna leave 'em in there." She tossed the keys into the bin.
"What? A bin?!" Sylvia protested.
"Yes, I said bin." Donna rolled her eyes.
"But you can't do that!"
"Look, stop complaining. The car's just down the road a bit. Gotta go, really gotta go. Bye." she hung off, then tapped the shoulder of a blonde woman in a blue bomber jacket. "Listen, there's this woman gonna come along." Donna said to her, "A tall blonde woman called Sylvia. Tell her, that bin there. Alright? It'll make sense, that bin there." she ran off back towards the alley.
The woman turned to survey the scene again, revealing herself to be Rose Tyler, looking somewhat weary and worried. Rose turned and walked away, vanishing into thin air while doing so.
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Donna ran back into the TARDIS to find that the Doctor and the Artist had brought her luggage inside and were standing by the console with their arms around each other. "Off we go, then!" Donna grinned.
"Here it is, the TARDIS." the Doctor said, "It's bigger on the inside than it is on the outside..."
"Oh, I know all that bit." Donna waved him off, "Although frankly, you could turn the heating up a bit. You two might like to keep each other warn, but I ain't having any of that."
The Artist shook her head with a wry smile. It was going to be such fun with Donna on board. "So, where d'ya wanna go first?" she asked the human.
"Oh, I know exactly the place." Donna replied as the Time Lords took their places at the console.
"Which is?" the Doctor asked.
"Two and a half miles that way." Donna replied, jerking her head to the right.
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Wilfred sat at his telescope on the hill when he noticed a blue police phone box flying through the sky, the very thing Donna had asked him to look out for. "Donna, it's the flying blue box!" he called out, then he saw the door open and a figure appear inside it and wave to him. He looked through his telescope and saw that the figure was Donna herself. "That's Donna!" he laughed, then he saw two other people standing in the box behind her. They were too far away for him to see their faces clearly, but he could see that one of them was a brown-haired man in a brown suit, while the other was a brunette woman in a green jacket and a pair of jeans. "And that's them." He realised they were the man and woman Donna had told him about. "That's them! Yay! Go on, girl! Go on, get out there!" He did a little dance, delighted that his granddaughter had found the people she was looking for.