Rose ran into the TARDIS, where the Doctor and the Artist were waiting. "Right then, Rose Tyler, you tell us, where d'yer wanna go?" the Doctor asked, "Backwards or forwards in time, what's it gonna be?"
"Forwards." Rose said immediately.
"How far d'ya wanna go?" the Artist asked, pressing a few buttons on the console.
"100 years." Rose replied, picking a random number.
The Doctor pulled a lever and turned a nob. The TARDIS wheezed into life for a few seconds, then settled. "There yer go." the Doctor said, "Step outside those doors, it's the 22nd century."
"You're kidding." Rose remarked in disbelief.
"That's a bit boring, though." the Doctor said, "D'yer wanna go further?"
"Fine by me." Rose shrugged.
And so, they were soon off again. Rose watched the two aliens as they piloted the TARDIS. They were both like the footplate crew of a steam locomotive, working together in perfect sync. After a few seconds, the TARDIS settled again, with a bit of a jolt this time.
"10,000 years in the future." the Doctor said smugly, "Step outside, it's the year 12005, the New Roman Empire."
"You think ya so impressive." Rose teased.
"I am so impressive!" the Doctor pouted.
"You wish!"
"Right then, you asked for it." the Doctor huffed, "I know exactly where to go." He revved up the engines and pumped a lever, "Hold on!" And the TARDIS hurtled off with the Doctor piloting by himself this time, the Artist just stepping back to watch him, amused that his ego had been pricked.
With a pinging noise, the TARDIS stopped. "Where are we?" Rose asked. The Doctor didn't answer, he just gestured to the door. "What's out there?" Rose asked excitedly. Again, the Doctor just gestured to the door, so Rose stepped outside.
The Doctor watched her go, feeling very pleased with himself. The Artist checked the monitor and her smile promptly disappeared. "I'm not sure this is a good idea." she told the Doctor, "I wouldn't pick this for ya first date if I were you."
"A. It's not a date." the Doctor retorted, "B. I know what I'm doing." And with that, he stepped outside, the Artist reluctantly following.
———————————————————————————
Rose found herself standing in a wood-panelled room with an enormous window covered by shutters. The Doctor went over to a futuristic-looking control panel on the wall and flashed his sonic screwdriver on it, causing the shutters to open, then they all went down some stairs and looked out of the window. Outside, they could see Planet Earth in all it's glory.
"You lot." the Doctor remarked, "Yer spend all yer time thinking about dying. Like yer gonna killed by eggs or beef or global warming or asteroids. But you never take time to imagine the impossible. Maybe you survive. This the year 5.5/apple/26. Five billion years in your future. This is the day... 'old on." He looked at his watch. As he did so, the sun flared brightly, the window automatically tinting to protect the trio's eyes from the blinding flash. "This is the day the Sun expands. Welcome to the end of the world." the Doctor finished.
Rose could only stare at this bombshell. The Doctor didn't notice, he just turned on his heel and strode over to the doors, which opened and he walked off into a hallway. The Artist gave Rose's arm a comforting squeeze. "I'm sorry, Rose." she said, "I did tell him this was a bad idea. We can take ya somewhere else if ya want."
"No, no, I'll be alright." Rose waved her off, and so both women went off after the Doctor.
———————————————————————————
As they caught up with him, they heard a computer voice over a PA system; "Shuttles five and six now docking. Guests are reminded that Platform One forbids the use of weapons, teleportation and religion. Earth death is scheduled for 15:39, followed by drinks in the Manchester suite."
"Sounds right up your street." the Artist remarked, bumping the Doctor's shoulder. Despite her misgivings over the Doctor's decision to bring Rose here, she was going to try and do her best to cheer the human up.
"So, when it says 'guests', does that mean people?" Rose asked them.
"Depends on what yer mean by people." the Doctor replied.
"I mean people. What do you mean?"
"Aliens." the Doctor said simply.
"Well, what're they doing on this spaceship?" Rose questioned, "What's it all for?"
They reached another door and the Doctor flashed his sonic on the control panel beside it. "It's not really a spaceship. More like an observation deck." he told Rose, "The great and the good are gathering to watch the planet burn."
"What for?" Rose asked as the doors opened.
"Fun." the Artist sneered, disgusted that people would find the death of a planet fun.
The trio entered a large observation gallery. "Mind you, when I say 'the great and the good', what I mean is, the rich." the Doctor said, still oblivious to Rose's discomfort and the Artist's annoyance at him.
They went to the end of the gallery, where they had a panoramic view of Earth and the Sun beyond. "But, hold on, they did this once on Newsround Extra." Rose said, "The Sun expanding, that takes hundreds of years."
"Millions." the Doctor corrected, "But the planet's now property of the National Trust. They've been keeping it preserved. See down there?" He pointed at tiny glints of light orbiting the Earth. "Gravity satellites, holding back the Sun."
"The planet looks the same as ever." Rose observed, looking at Earth, "I thought the continents shifted and things."
"They did." the Doctor confirmed, "And the Trust shifted 'em back. That's a classic Earth. But now the money's run out, nature takes over!"
"How long has it got?" Rose asked.
"About half-an-hour." the Artist replied, checking her watch.
"Then the whole planet gets roasted." the Doctor added cheerfully, earning himself a glare from the brunette.
"Is that why we're here? I mean, is that whatcha do? Jump in at the last minute and save the Earth?" Rose asked hopefully.
"We're not saving it. Time's up." the Doctor answered bluntly.
The Artist was more sympathetic. "Everything has it's time eventually, Rose. Even planets. This is Earth's time. There's nothing we can do except let nature take it's course."
"But what about the people?" Rose protested.
"It's empty." the Doctor replied, "They're all gone, all left."
Rose felt a bit better at that. At least no one would die when Earth did, thought she now wandered where Humanity had gone. "Just me, then." she sighed. She was appalled at how callous and uncaring the Doctor seemed about all this, but at least the Artist was sympathetic. She was evidently the more compassionate one of the duo.
"Who the hell are you?" a pompous-sounding voice said from behind them, and the trio turned to see a blue-skinned man in a brown robe standing there with a clipboard in his hand. This was the Steward; the man responsible for running Platform One.
"Oh! That's nice, thanks." the Doctor huffed.
"But how did you get in?" the Steward blustered, "This is a maximum hospitality zone. The guests have disembarked! They're on the way any second now!"
"That's us, we're guests, look." the Doctor said, flashing what looked like a black leather bus pass at the Steward, "Look, there. Yer see? 'The Doctor and the Artist plus one'. I'm the Doctor, she's the Artist." He gestured to the brunette. "And this is Rose Tyler." He gestured to the human. "She's our plus one. That all right?"
"Well... obviously." the Steward said pompously, "Apologies, etc. If you're on board, we'd better start. Enjoy." And he walked off towards a podium in the corner of the room.
The Doctor showed Rose the pass. Inside it was a blank piece of paper. "The paper's slightly psychic." he explained, "Shows 'em whatever I want 'em to see. Saves a lot of time." He slipped the paper back into his pocket.
"He's blue." was all Rose could say, referring to the Steward.
"I'm afraid you haven't seen anything yet, Rose." the Artist told her, "Ya might wanna brace yourself for a shock."
The Steward had taken up position at the podium and was now speaking through a microphone. "We have in attendance, the Doctor, the Artist and Rose Tyler." he announced, "Thank you. All staff to their positions." He clapped his hands and several small blue-skinned people in overalls started scurrying around. "Hurry now! Thank you, quick as you can." the Steward fussed "Come along, come along! And now, might I introduce the next honoured guests, representing the Forests of Cheem, we have Trees. Namely, Jabe, Lute and Coffa."
The doors opened and three humanoid aliens with bark-like skin walked in. Two were male and dressed in plain black outfits, while the third was female and dressed more elaborately in a red, orange and gold gown. She had a kind face and a graceful air about her.
"There will be an exchange of gifts representing peace." the Steward announced, "If you can keep the room circulating, thank you. Next, from the solicitors Jolco and Jolco, the Moxx of Balhoon."
A squat, grumpy-looking blue-skinned alien entered, sitting in a hovering chair that was reminiscent of the one Commander Shore from Stingray sat in. The Doctor smiled cheerily, while Rose could only look on in bewilderment.
"And next, from Financial Family Seven, we have the Adherents of the Repeated Meme." the Steward introduced as a group of people in black hooded robes and wearing metal gauntlets entered. The Steward continued to give introductions as more weird and wonderful aliens entered, with Rose getting increasingly overwhelmed.
Presently, the female Tree, Jabe, approached the trio with a small potted plant in her hand ."The Gift of peace." she said, handing the pot to the Doctor, "I bring you a cutting of my grandfather."
"Thank you." the Doctor nodded, passing the plant to Rose. "Yes, gifts, erm..." he patted his pockets, trying to think of something to give as a gift. Finding nothing, he decided to improvise. "I give you in return, air from my lungs." He blew gently in Jabe's face, who seemed to like it.
"How... intimate." she remarked.
"There's plenty more where that came from." the Doctor replied.
"I bet there is." Jabe smirked, then moved off to give cuttings to other gifts. Rose noticed the Artist looking a bit uncomfortable at the apparent flirting that had just occurred, but before she could ask her about it, the Steward spoke again.
"Sponsor of the main event, please welcome the Face of Boe." he introduced as a huge, ageing head in a jar was wheeled into the room. The head looked at the Doctor, the Artist and Rose, and nodded at them, evidently knowing them and expecting to see them here.
Just then, the Moxx of Balhoon approached the trio. "My felicitations on this historical happenstance." he said, "I give you the gift of bodily salvias." And he promptly spat accurately into Rose's eye.
"Thank you, very much." the Doctor laughed and the Moxx rolled away.
The Artist pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket and helped Rose wipe the spit out of her eye. "He meant no disrespect to you." the brunette explained, "Spitting is the custom on Balhoon. Just remember to keep a face shield handy if we ever take ya there."
"Ah, the Adherents of the Repeated Meme." the Doctor said as the aforementioned aliens approached them next, "I bring you air from my lungs." He breathed heavily on them all.
"A gift of peace in good faith." the leader said in a rather creepy robotic voice, and handed the Doctor a small silver ball, which he handed off to Rose.
"And last but not least, our very special guest." the Steward announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, and Trees and Multi-form. Consider the Earth below. In memory of this dying world, we call forth the last human... the Lady Cassandra O'Brien Dot Delta Seventeen." The doors opened and what entered could hardly be considered human at all. It was what looked to be a vertical trampoline made of human skin and with eyes and a mouth and flanked by two men in hazmat suits.
Rose could only stare in disbelief at the sight. "Oh, now, don't stare." Casandra said to everyone, "I know, I know, it's shocking, isn't it? I've had my chin taken away and look at the difference! Look how thin I am. Thin and dainty! I don't look a day over 200. Moisturise me, moisturise me!" she said to her attendants, who sprayed her with the contents of the cannisters they were holding.
"Talk about being addicted to plastic surgery." the Artist whispered to Rose, trying to lift the blonde's spirts, but Rose was too in shock to respond. She crept closer for a better look and saw that Cassandra was literally 2-dimensional.
"Truly, I am the last human." Cassandra rambled, "My father was a Texan. My mother was from the Artic desert. They were born on Earth and were the last to be buried in it's soil. I have come to honour them and..." she sniffled, "Say goodbye. Oh, no tears." One of her attendants wiped her eyes. "No tears, I'm sorry. But behold! I bring gifts. From Earth itself, the last remaining ostrich egg." A member of staff came in with the item in question and put it on a pedestal to display it. "Legend says it had a wingspan of 50 feet and breathed fire from it's nostrils. Or was that my third husband?" she joked, and everyone except Rose laughed. "Who knows? Oh, don't laugh. I'll get laughter lines. And here, another rarity." Two members of staff wheeled in a large 1950's jukebox. "According to the archives, this was called an iPod. It stores classical music from humanity's greatest composers. Play on!"
One of the staff pressed a button on the jukebox and a record fell into place. Tainted Love by Soft Cell began to play. "Well, at least she's got the bit about great composers right." the Artist remarked to the Doctor, who was bopping appreciatively to the song.
"Refreshments will now be served." the Steward announced, "Earth death in 30 minutes."
The guests began to mingle and socialise. It was finally all too much for Rose, she felt uncomfortable and out of place so she promptly ran from the room, something which the Doctor and the Artist noticed. "I told you this was a bad idea." the Artist told the Doctor angrily, "I knew this would happen. It's all too much too soon."
They both started to follow Rose, but were stopped by Jabe. "Doctor? Artist?" she called, and took a photo of them from the device she was holding when they paused, "Thank you." The two time travellers moved on while Jabe went over to a quiet corner to study her device, which was a handheld computer. "Identify species." she ordered, "Please identify species." The computer made a small chirping noise. "Now, stop it." she scolded it, "Identify their race. Where're they from?" Her eyes widened when she got her answer. "It's impossible." she breathed.
———————————————————————————
Meanwhile, Rose was standing in a corridor and looking out of a window at the raging Sun. She sensed someone behind her and turned to see another blue-skinned alien standing there. This one was female and was wearing overalls, clearly a member of staff. "Sorry, am I allowed to be here?" Rose asked her.
The employees looked around uneasily. "You have to give us permission to talk." she told Rose.
"Uh, you have permission."
"Thank you." the employee nodded, "And no, you're not in the way. Guests are allowed anywhere."
"Okay." Rose nodded, and watched as the employee went over to a wall panel and typed in a code. "What's ya name?" Rose asked her.
"Raffalo."
"Raffalo?"
"Yes, miss. I won't be long, I've just gotta carry out some maintenance." Raffalo said and knelt before an air vent, "There's a tiny little glitch in the Face of Boe's suite. There must be something blocking the system, he's not getting any hot water."
"So, you're a plumber?" Rose questioned.
"That's right, miss."
"They still have plumbers?"
"Hope so! Else I'm out of a job." Raffalo laughed.
"Where're ya from?" Rose asked her.
"Crespallion."
"That's a planet, is it?"
"No, Crespallion's part of the Jaggit Brocade, affiliated to the Scarlet Junction, Convex 56. And where're you from, miss? If you don't mind me asking."
"No! Not at all." Rose replied, "Erm... I dunno, a long way away. I just sort of.. hitched a lift with this man and woman." She suddenly seemed to realise the risk she'd taken herself. "I didn't even think about it... I don't even know who they are... they're complete strangers." she breathed worriedly, then snapped out of it. "Anyway, don't let me keep ya. Good luck with it." And she began to walk away.
"Thank you, miss." Raffalo called after her, "And thank you for your permission. Not many people are that considerate."
"Okay. See ya later." Rose smiled and went on her way.
———————————————————————————
Meanwhile, the Doctor and the Artist were walking through the hallways trying to find Rose when the Steward's voice came over the PA; "Would the owner of the blue box in private gallery 15 please report to the Steward's office immediately. Guests are reminded that use of all teleportation devices is strictly forbidden under Peace Treaty 5.4/cup/16. Thank you."
"I'll deal with that." the Doctor said, "You find Rose."
Right, see ya later." the Artist nodded, and they went their separate ways.
———————————————————————————
Rose meanwhile had gone into a private gallery like the one they'd landed in and was now sat on the steps, tossing the silver ball in the air and catching it. "Earth death in 25 minutes." the computer announced, "Earth death in 25 minutes."
"Oh, thanks." Rose huffed, putting the ball down and picking up the cutting of Jabe's grandfather, "Hello, my name's Rose. That's a sorta plant. We might be related..." She suddenly realised what she was doing and put the pot down. "I'm talking to a twig." she muttered and turned to look out the window, not noticing the silver ball suddenly open up and a small robotic spider scuttle out of it.
———————————————————————————
In a corridor, the TARDIS was being manhandled by some of the staff. "Oi, now, careful with her!" the Doctor told them, "Park her properly, no scratches." One of the staff walked up to him and handed him a card then walked away again. The Doctor looked at the card to see that it said; 'Have a nice day.'. He shrugged and walked away, not noticing several metal spiders scurrying up the wall behind him.
———————————————————————————
In the viewing gallery, Rose was still gazing blankly out of the window, completely oblivious to the metal spider behind her, which was about to scan her hand when the Artist's voice floated through the door; "Rose? Are ya in there?" The spider scurried off into an air vent just before the door opened and the brunette entered. She noticed the open ball, but decided that Rose's welfare was more important. "You alright?" she asked as she sat down beside the blonde.
"Yeah, just needed a minute." Rose replied.
"I'm not surprised." the Artist said, "Culture shock, only to be expected. I told the Doctor this was a bad idea, but he didn't listen cos' he was too busy showing off."
"I was not showing off!" a familiar indignant voice came from behind and they turned to see the Doctor enter the room.
"Sorted the TARDIS out?" the Artist asked him.
"Yeah, they moved her to the hanger bay" he replied and took a seat on the other side of the stairs. "What d'yer think, then?" he asked Rose.
"Great, yeah, fine." Rose shrugged absently, "Once ya get past the slightly psychic paper."
"That's not just it, though, is it?" the Artist said knowingly.
"They're just so alien." Rose blurted out, "The aliens are so... alien. You look at 'em... and they're alien."
"Good thing we didn't take yer to the Deep South." the Doctor quipped.
"Where're you two from?" Rose asked. Her chat with Raffalo had made her realise that she really should know more about the two people she'd ran off with.
"All over the place." the Doctor replied vaguely.
Then Rose realised something. "They all speak English." she said.
"No, yer just hear English." the Doctor replied, "It's a gift of the TARDIS. Telepathic field, gets inside yer brain, translates."
"It's inside my brain?!" Rose spluttered.
"Well, in a good way." the Doctor tried to reason, having realised that he'd phrased it wrong, but the damage had been done.
"Your machine gets inside my head." Rose burst out, "It gets inside and it changes my mind, and you didn't even ask?!"
"I didn't think about it like that." the Doctor muttered.
"No! You were too busy thinking up cheap shots at the Deep South!" Rose said angrily, "Who are you, then, Doctor? What're you called? What sort of aliens are you two?"
"I'm just the Doctor and she's just the Artist." the Doctor said, sitting up and looking away from Rose, not wanting to talk about it.
"From what planet?" Rose continued to prod.
"Well, it's not as if you'd know where it is!"
"Where're ya from?!"
"What does it matter?"
"Tell me who you are!"
"This is who I am!" the Doctor snapped, suddenly angry, "Right here, right now, alright? All that counts is here and now, and this is me!"
"Yeah, and I'm here too cos' you brought me here!" Rose snapped back, "So just tell me!"
The Doctor didn't. He just got up and walked down the steps away from her. "You two finished?" the Artist spoke up, having wisely stayed out of their argument, "Rose, we don't wanna talk about it, so please just drop it, okay?" She got up and went over to the Doctor.
"Earth death in 20 minutes." the computer announced, "Earth death in 20 minutes."
After a few moments, Rose got and followed the two aliens down the stairs. "Alright." she spoke up, "As my mate Shareen says, 'don't argue with the designated drivers.'" She pulled her phone out of her pocket. "Can't exactly call for a taxi... there's no signal. We're outta range. Just a bit!"
The Doctor, having calmed down, turned to her. "Tell yer what..." He took the phone from her and flashed his sonic on it. "With a little bit of jiggery pokery..."
"Is that a technical term, jiggery pokery?" Rose asked.
"Yeah, I came first in jiggery pokery." the Doctor replied, "What about you?"
"Nah, failed hullabaloo." Rose joked.
The Doctor handed Rose her phone back. "There yer go." he said.
Rose looked at the phone to see that it said; 'Universal roaming enabled.' on the screen. Curious, she dialled her mother's number and held the phone to her ear. To her surprise, she heard a ringing from the other end, then she heard Jackie's voice; "Hello?"
"Mum?" Rose breathed, amazed at having gotten through.
"Oh, what is it? What's wrong?" Jackie asked, "What've I done now? Oh, this red top's falling to bits. You should get ya money back." she grumbled, and Rose realised that she'd phoned her while she was doing the laundry. "Go on, there must be something. You never phone in the middle of the day." Rose could only laugh. "What's so funny?"
"Nothing." Rose said, recovering, "You alright, though?"
"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"
"What day is it?"
"Wednesday. All day. You got a hangover? Oh, I tell ya what, put a quid in that lottery syndicate, I'll pay ya back later."
"Yeah, um, I was just calling cos' I might be late home." Rose said.
"Is there something wrong?" Jackie questioned.
"No! I'm fine! Top of the world." Rose reassured her. Jackie seemed to accept that and hung up.
"Think that's amazing, you wanna see the bill." the Doctor remarked as Rose lowered the phone, stunned.
"He's pulling ya leg, Rose." the Artist rolled her eyes, "Universal roaming's free."
"That was five billion years ago." Rose murmured, "So... she's dead now. Five billion years later, my mum's dead."
"Bundle of laughs you are." the Doctor said flatly, but before Rose could answer or the Artist reprimand him for his insensitive remark, the whole station suddenly shuddered. "That's not supposed to happen." the Doctor said rather obviously.
———————————————————————————
The trio made their way back through the corridors towards the observation gallery. On the way, they heard the Steward make an announcement on the PA; "Honoured guests may be reassured that gravity pockets may cause slight turbulence, thanking you."
But neither the Doctor nor the Artist were convinced. They entered the gallery to find everyone chatting obliviously, with the Moxx of Balhoon talking to the Face of Boe about something called 'the Bad Wolf scenario'. The only person who seemed remotely worried was Jabe.
"That wasn't a gravity pocket." the Doctor announced as he checked a computer panel. "We've been in gravity pockets an' they don't feel like that. What d'yer think, Jabe?" he asked the Tree as she joined them, "Listen to the engines, they've pitched up about 30 hertz, is that dodgy or what?"
"It's the sound of metal, it doesn't make any sense to me." Jabe shrugged.
"Where's the engine room?" the Doctor asked her.
"I don't know." she replied, "But the maintenance shaft is just behind our guest suite, I could show you and your wife." She gestured to the Artist.
"She's not my wife." the Doctor said hastily at the same time as the Artist said; "No, no, no, we're not married!"
"Partner?" Jabe tried.
"Let's just leave it at that." the Artist said, not wanting to go into detail about relationships right now.
Rose raised a brow at that little exchange. "Tell ya what." she spoke up, "You three go and pollinate, I'm gonna catch up with the family." She gestured to Cassandra. "Quick word with Michael Jackson."
"Be careful." the Artist warned. Something didn't sit right with Cassandra. The living trampoline had a somewhat oily manner that gave the Artist a bad feeling. Rose nodded her acknowledgement and headed off in Cassandra's direction.
"We're all yours." the Doctor said to Jabe, proffering one arm to her and the other to the Artist.
"An' I want you both home by midnight." Rose called to them.
"Yes, mum." the Artist retorted sarcastically.
"Earth death in 15 minutes." the computer announced, "Earth death in 15 minutes."
———————————————————————————
The Doctor, the Artist and Jabe were soon walking through a maintenance corridor. "Who's in charge of Platform One?" the Doctor asked, "Is there a captain or what?"
"There's just the Steward and the staff." Jabe replied, "All the rest is controlled by the metal mind."
"Yer mean the computer? But who controls that?"
"The Corporation. They move Platform One from artistic event to the next." Jabe explained.
"So there's no one from this Corporation on board?" the Artist questioned.
"They're not needed." Jabe replied, "This facility is purely automatic. It's the height of the Alpha class. Nothing can go wrong."
"Famous last words." the Artist muttered.
"Unsinkable?" the Doctor asked Jabe.
"If you like. The nautical metaphor is appropriate."
"You're telling me. We were on another ship once. They said that was unsinkable... I ended up clinging to the side of an iceberg. Wasn't half cold."
"Huh! You didn't have to wade chest deep in freezing water, unlocking doors and gates to rescue people trapped behind them." the Artist retorted, "I did!"
"Fair enough." the Doctor shrugged, then got back on topic; "So what yer saying is, if we get in trouble there's no one to help us?"
"I'm afraid not." Jabe said.
"Fantastic." the Doctor grinned and went on his way.
"I don't understand." a puzzled Jabe said, "In what way is that fantastic?"
"It isn't." the Artist told her "He just likes using that word. It isn't fantastic at all."
———————————————————————————
Meanwhile, Rose and Cassandra were looking out of the window at the Sun and down at the Earth. "Soon the Sun will blossom into a Red Giant and my home will die." Cassandra mused, "That's where I used to live, when I was a little boy. Down there. Mummy and Daddy had a little house built into the side of the Los Angeles crevice. I had such fun." she sighed.
"What happened to everyone else?" Rose asked, "The human race, where did it go?"
"They say Mankind has touched every star in the sky."
"So, ya not the last human."
"I am the last pure human." Cassandra sneered, "The others... mingles. Oh, they call themselves 'New Humans' and 'Proto-Humans' and 'Digi-Humans' even 'Human-ish' but d'you know what I call them? Mongrels."
Rose glowered at that. Obviously Cassandra was a racist xenophobe. "Right." she said flatly, "So you stayed behind."
"I kept myself pure."
"How many operations have you had?"
"708." Cassandra replied nonchalantly, "Next week, it's 709. I'm having my blood bleached. Is that why you wanted a word? You could be flatter, Rose. You've got a bit of a chin poking out."
"I'd rather die." Rose said hastily.
"Honestly, it doesn't hurt."
"No, I mean it. I'd rather die. It's better to die than live like you, a bitchy trampoline."
"Oh well, what do you know?" Cassandra said condescendingly.
"I was born on that planet." Rose shot back, "And so was my Mum, and so was my Dad and that makes me the last Human being in this room, cos' ya not human. You've had it all nipped 'n' tucked 'n' flattened till there's nothing left. Anything human got chucked in the bin. Ya just skin, Cassandra. Lipstick and skin. Nice talking." And with that, the blonde turned and walked away, not noticed the Adherents of the Repeated Meme watching her.
———————————————————————————
Meanwhile, the Doctor, the Artist and Jabe were making they way through the maintenance corridors. "So, tell me, Jabe. What's a Tree like you doing in a place like this?" the Doctor asked.
"Respect for the Earth." Jabe replied.
"Oh, come on." the Doctor scoffed, "Everyone on this platform's worth zillions."
"Well... perhaps it's a case of having to be seen at the right occasions." Jabe shrugged.
"In case yer share prices drop?" the Doctor snorted, "I know you lot. Yer've got massive forests everywhere, roots everywhere, and there's money in land."
"All the same, we respect the Earth as family." Jabe said sincerely, "So many species evolved from that planet. Mankind is only one. I'm another. My ancestors were transplanted from the planet down below. And I'm a direct descendant of the tropical rainforest."
Both the Doctor and the Artist were impressed with that. They reached a control panel and the Doctor ran his sonic over it.
"And what about your ancestries?" Jabe asked the two time travellers, "Perhaps you two could tell a few stories. Perhaps a man and woman only enjoy trouble when there's nothing else left. I scanned both of you earlier. The metal machine had trouble identifying your species, refused to admit your existence. And even when it named you both, I wouldn't believe it. But it was right." The Doctor stopped scanning, deep sadness reflected in his eyes. "I know where you're both from." Jabe continued softly, "Forgive me for intruding, but it's remarkable that the two of you even exist. I just want to say... how sorry I am."
The Doctor was now staring blankly at the screen, his face sad and solemn, while the Artist was looking down at her boots, her eyes filled with tears. Jabe placed a comforting hand on both time travellers' arms. The Artist blinked her tears away and the Doctor went back to his scan, then they all went through a door. They found themselves in the ventilation chamber. There was a vast open chasm that made up the chamber, with a catwalk crossing it and three huge circular fans bisected the catwalk. "Is it me or is it a bit nippy?" the Doctor commented.
———————————————————————————
Meanwhile, Rose was walking down a corridor when she saw the Adherents of the Repeated Meme coming the other way. Just as they passed, the leader suddenly struck Rose with it's metal gauntlet, knocking her out cold.
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"Not sure putting the fans on the walkway was a good idea." the Artist commented as they looked at the fans.
"Fair do's, though, that's a great bit of air conditioning." the Doctor said, " Sort of, nice and old fashioned. Bet they call it; 'retro.'" He scanned another control panel with his sonic. "Gotcha!" he remarked as the panel fell off. A metal spider scuttled out and scurried across the floor and began to climb up the wall. "What the 'ell's that?" the Doctor frowned.
"Is it part of the retro?" Jabe wandered.
"I doubt it." the Artist replied, pulling out her own sonic and trying to scan the spider with it, but it was too fast for her.
Jabe fired what looked like a vine out of her arm and struck the spider, disabling it and causing it to fall into the Artist's hands. "Hey, nice liana!" an impressed Doctor praised.
"Thank you." Jabe blushed, "We're not supposed to show them in public."
"We won't tell if you don't." the Artist winked and she and the Doctor scanned the spider with their sonics.
"What does it do?" Jabe asked them.
"Sabotage." the Doctor replied grimly.
"Earth death in 10 minutes." the computer announced.
"And the temperature's about to rocket. Come on!" the Doctor urged, and they hurried out of the chamber, agreeing to inform the Steward about the spider. There could be more of them, so they needed to make the staff aware of them quickly.
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When they reached the Steward's office, the trio found smoke wafting out from under the door and members of staff fussing about outside. The Artist, who was nearest to the control panel by the office door, soniced it. "Sunfilter rising." the computer reported, "Sunfilter rising."
"Was the Steward in there?" a concerned Jabe asked.
"I think he was, the poor fellow." the Artist replied grimly, "We can smell him." Then her sonic revealed more bad news. "There's another sunfilter programmed to descend." she told the Doctor and they both hurried to find out where.
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Rose regained consciousness to find herself inside a private viewing gallery. "Sunfilter descending." the computer announced, "Sunfilter descending."
Rose sat up in alarm as the sunfilter did indeed descend, letting in the Sun's rays. She ran to the door and knocked on it frantically. "LET ME OUT!" she hollered.
Outside the room, the Doctor and the Artist arrived. "Anyone in there?" the Doctor called
"LET ME OUT!" Rose shrieked.
"Oh, well, it would be you!" the Doctor rolled his eyes.
"OPEN THE DOOR!" Rose hollered.
"Hold on, give us two ticks." the Doctor said, and flashed his sonic at the control panel while the Artist tried to pull the doors open, but to no avail.
Then the computer announced; "Sunfilter rising. Sunfilter rising." The Doctor looked pleased with himself, while Rose sighed with relief, but it was short-lived. "Sunfilter rising." the computer said, then next second; "Sunfilter descending."
"Oh, no, no, no!" the Artist hollered, running over to a maintenance cover beneath the computer console and pulling it off to work on the wires behind it.
"WILL YA STOP MUCKING ABOUT?!" Rose yelled as the sunfilter began to descend again.
"We're not mucking about, it's fighting back!" the Doctor protested as he worked in vain on the computer panel.
"OPEN THE DOOR!" Rose shrieked as the Sun's rays got uncomfortably close to her.
"We're trying!" the Artist called back, urgently messing about with the wires.
"THE LOCK'S MELTED!" Rose shouted as she ran down the stairs and threw herself flat on the floor.
The Artist jabbed her sonic into the wiring. "Sunfilter rising." the computer announced, "Sunfilter rising." The trio all held their breaths for a moment, but it seemed that the computer had been overpowered this time and the sunfilter rose all the way back to the top.
Panting, Rose ran back to the door while the Doctor and the Artist both tried to pull them open, but they were wedged solid. "The whole thing's jammed. We can't open the doors." the Doctor called, "Stay there, don't move!"
"Where am I gonna go, Ipswich?" Rose shot back sarcastically.
"We'll get ya out, Rose. I promise." the Artist called, then she and the Doctor ran off back to the observation gallery.
"Earth death in 5 minutes." the computer announced.
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In the observation gallery, Jabe had informed everyone about the spider and had scanned it with her computer. "The metal machine confirms. The spider devices have infiltrated the whole of Platform One." she announced grimly.
"How's that possible?" Cassandra questioned, "Our rooms are protected by a code wall. Moisturise me, Moisturise me." she ordered her attendants, who complied.
The Doctor and the Artist arrived at that moment and the Doctor took the spider from Jabe.
"Summon the Steward." the Moxx of Balhoon suggested, and the others murmured their agreement.
"I'm afraid the Steward is dead." Jabe said sadly and there was a general gasp of shock from everyone except Cassandra.
"Who killed him?" the Moxx of Balhoon breathed in horror.
"This whole event was sponsored by the Face of Boe!" Cassandra accused, "He invited us! Talk to the face! Talk to the face!" The Face of Boe shook his head as if to say that he had no idea any of this would happen.
"Easy way of finding out." the Doctor spoke up, "Someone brought a little pet on board." He showed them the spider. "Let's send him back to master." He placed the spider on the floor and it scuttled along the floor to Cassandra and looked up to her. She looked shifty for a moment, something which both the Doctor and the Artist noticed, then the spider moved on to the feet of the Adherents of the Repeated Meme.
"The Adherents of the Repeated Meme. J'accuse!" Cassandra said smugly
"That's all very well, and really kinda obvious." the Doctor said, striding over to the Adherents, "But if yer stop and think about it..." The leader of the Adherents tried to swing a blow at him, but he just caught the arm and ripped it clean off, revealing wires sticking out of it. "A Repeated Meme is just an idea. And that's all they are, an idea." He yanked out a wire and all the Adherents fell to the floor. "Remote controlled Droids. Nice little cover for the real troublemaker. Go on, Jimbo! He nudged the spider with the toe of his boot. "Go home!"
The spider ambled back over to Cassandra. "I bet you were the school swot who never got kissed." she sneered, annoyed at being rumbled. "At arms!" she ordered her attendants, who raised their canisters at the Doctor.
"What're yer gonna do? Moisturise me?" he sassed, not impressed by the threat.
"With acid." Cassandra retorted, "Oh, you're too late anyway. My spiders have control of the mainframe. Oh, you all carried them as gifts, tax free, past every code wall. I'm not just a pretty face."
The Artist suddenly remembered the open ball she'd seen earlier. The spiders must have hatched from the balls and were free to run amok amongst the station.
"Sabotaging a ship while yer still inside it? How stupid's that?" the Doctor scoffed at Cassandra's last remark.
"I'd hoped to manufacture a hostage situation with myself as one of the victims." Cassandra answered, "The compensation would have been enormous."
"Five billon years and it still all boils down to money in the end." the Artist shook her head in disgust, "Nothing ever changes."
"Do you think it's cheap, looking like this?" Cassandra retorted, "Flatness costs a fortune. I am the last Human. Me. Not that freaky little kid of yours."
Both the Doctor and the Artist glared furiously at Cassandra, realising that she had been responsible for Rose nearly being burned to a crisp.
"Arrest her!" the Moxx of Balhoon ordered, "The infidel!"
"Oh, shut up, pixie!" Cassandra snapped, "I've still got my final option."
"Earth death in 3 minutes." the computer announced.
"And here it comes." Cassandra smirked, "You're just as useful dead, all of you. I have shares in your rival companies and they'll triple in price as soon as you're dead. My spiders are primed and ready to destroy the safety systems. How did that old Earth song go? 'Burn baby, burn.'"
"Then you'll burn with us." Jabe vowed.
"Oh, I'm so sorry." Cassandra said in a sickly-sweet voice, "I know the use of teleportation is strictly forbidden, but... I'm such a naughty thing. Spiders, activate."
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A series of small explosions rocked Platform One and alarms began to blare all over the station.
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"Force fields gone with the planet about to explode." Cassandra taunted, "At least it'll be quick. Just like my fifth husband." She sniggered at her joke. "Oh, shame on me! Bye-bye, darlings. Bye-bye, my darlings." And she and her attendants teleported out.
"Heat levels rising." the computer announced.
"Reset the computer!" the Moxx of Balhoon ordered frantically.
"Only the Steward would know how." Jabe said gravely.
"No, we can do it by hand." the Artist said. "I saw a system restore switch earlier." she explained to the Doctor.
"Right, come on." the Doctor nodded and they both turned to leave. "You lot, just chill!" he called over his shoulder to the others.
"Good luck, Time Lords." Jabe called after them. The Doctor and the Artist both stopped and looked at her. She gave them a knowing smile, and they both turned and hurried off to the engine room, while Jabe stayed to try and keep the others calm.
"Earth death in 2 minutes." the computer announced, "Earth death in 2 minutes."
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By the time the duo reached the ventilation chamber, the heat levels were rising dangerously. They could see the system restore switch, it was at the other end of the catwalk, beyond the fans, which were now spinning at warp speed to try to deal with the increased heat.
"Oh, and guess where the switch is." the Doctor huffed, agreeing with the Artist's earlier comment about the fans.
"Heat levels rising." the computer announced, "Heat levels rising."
The Doctor saw a lever on the wall to their right, so he pulled it down and the fans slowed down.
"External temperature, 5,000 degrees." the computer reported.
The Doctor let go of the lever and went for the fans, but the lever promptly shot up and the fans sped up again. The Artist studied the fans for a moment. She knew there was only one option. Someone was going to have to hold the lever down while the other person went past the fans, so she slammed the lever down and held it there, the fans slowing again. The Doctor turned to her, realising what she was doing. "You can't." he protested, "The heat's gonna vent through this place."
"I know." she replied.
"We might be tough, but we're not exactly heat-resistant." the Doctor warned.
"Well hurry up, then!" she retorted.
The Doctor swallowed. He wasn't happy about this at all, but he knew that there was no other option, so he ran back towards the fans.
"Heat levels rising." the computer droned on, "Heat levels rising."
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In the observation gallery, the glass on the windows began to crack. "We're going to die!" the Moxx of Balhoon whimpered.
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"Heat levels hazardous." the computer said as the Doctor dodged the first fan and he looked up anxiously at the next one, "Shields malfunctioning."
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In the private gallery Rose was trapped in, the glass in the window began to crack too, and the blonde promptly cowered against the wall as rays of Sun blasted in through the cracks and hit the walls, burning holes in it. Rose screamed and did her best to dodge the rays.
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In the ventilation chamber, the Doctor reached the second fan and looked back. The Artist was sweating buckets, but she still held the lever down. "Heat levels critical." the computer droned on as the Doctor dodged under the second fan.
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In the observation gallery, the cracks widened, allowing rays of Sun in, which struck the Moxx of Balhoon. He screamed terribly as he was incinerated by the rays.
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Things weren't much better in the room Rose was trapped in. Sun rays hit the wall either side of her, trapping her in one spot.
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The Doctor reached the third fan. "Planet explodes in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5..." the computer announced.
The Doctor ducked under the fan and raced over to the switch. "Raise shields!" he ordered as he slammed the switch down.
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Rose closed her eyes and braced herself as the computer's countdown reached zero.
———————————————————————————
The shields around Platform One sprang back up just a millisecond before Planet Earth was engulfed by flames and exploded in a huge fireball.
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"Exoglass repair." the computer stated, "Exoglass repair."
Rose opened her eyes to see the cracks in the window sealing themselves and beyond, all that was left of Earth were floating rocks.
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In the ventilation room, the Doctor made his way back through the fans, which were now back to going at normal pace now that the temperature was normal again, and crossed over to the Artist, who was slumped on the floor. She was red in the face, drenched in sweat and panting heavily for breath. "We did it." the Doctor said gently, helping her to stand, "It's over...You were fantastic...C'mon, let's get out of here." And he helped her to walk out of the room.
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With the systems restored to normal, Rose was able to get out of the room she was trapped in. She wasn't hurt, but was badly shaken up by the near-death experience. On her way out, she retrieved the Artist's sonic from the maintenance panel and headed for the observation gallery.
When she arrived, she found the aliens sitting around, wounded or dead. The Doctor walked briskly in a few moments later. He went over to Jabe, who informed him of what happened here, then he crossed over to Rose, glad to see her unharmed.
"Where's Artist? Is she alright?" Rose asked.
"She's fine." the Doctor replied, taking his friend's sonic off Rose, "She's in the TARDIS, having a well-earned rest."
"And what about you?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." he said, a dangerous edge in his voice, "I'm full of idea. I'm brisling with 'em. Idea number one: teleportation through 5,000 degrees of heat needs some kinda feed. Idea number two: this feed must be hidden nearby." He strode over to the ostrich egg and broke it open, revealing a remote device inside it, which the Doctor picked up. "Idea number three: if yer as clever as me, then a teleportation feed can be reversed."
He twisted the feed and Cassandra reappeared before them, apparently in the middle of gloating. "Ah, you should've seen their little faces..." She noticed her new surroundings. "Oh."
"The last human." the Doctor sneered, having lost all patience with this greedy, selfish, barely human thing.
"So. You passed my little test." a nervous Cassandra said, "Bravo. That makes eligible to join the er... the human club."
The Doctor was in no mood for nonsense. "People have died, Cassandra. You murdered them. And my friends were put in danger, because of you." The anger in his voice was obvious and a wise being wouldn't provoke him any further, but Cassandra wasn't a wise being.
"That depends on your definition of 'people'." she said callously, "And that's enough of a technicality to keep your lawyers dizzy for centuries. Take me to court then, Doctor. And watch me smile, and cry, and flutter..."
"And creak?"
"And what?
"Creak. You're creaking." the Doctor taunted and sure enough, Cassandra's skin was tightening, her eyes became bloodshot and she grew whiter and whiter.
"What? Ah! Ah! I'm drying out!" she began to panic. "Oh, sweet heavens! Moisturise me! Moisturise me! Where are my surgeons? My lovely boys! It's too hot!" She broke out in red blotches.
"You raised the temperature." the Doctor callously reminded her.
"Have pity!" Cassandra pleaded, "Moisturise me! Oh, Doctor! I'm sorry, I'll do anything!"
"Help her." Rose told the Doctor gently, but it fell on deaf ears.
"Everything has it's time and everything dies." the Doctor said coldly.
Cassandra began to shrivel up. "I'm... too... young. Argh!" she groaned before promptly exploding, sending bits of skin flying everywhere and leaving just an empty frame. The Doctor looked on, completely cold and unfazed. He turned on his heel and left the room.
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About an hour later, the surviving guests had all gone and Rose was standing alone in the observation gallery, watching the rocks that were once Planet Earth float past outside the window. She heard footsteps and turned to see the Doctor and the Artist walk in. The brunette was feeling and looking a lot better now that she'd had a rest, a cold drink and a shower. They both joined Rose by the window.
"The end of the Earth." Rose said sadly, "It's gone. And we were all too busy saving ourselves, no one saw it. All those years... all that history and no one was even looking. It's just..."
The Artist took the sad blonde's hand. "Come with us." she said gently, and she and the Doctor led Rose to the hanger bay where the TARDIS was waiting.
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After a silent short trip in the box, Rose stepped out to find herself in Piccadilly Circus back in 2005. She looked at the crowds of people, seeing them in a new light as the Doctor and the Artist came up either side of her.
"Yer think it'll last forever." the Doctor said thoughtfully, "People, and cars and concrete. But it won't. One day, it's all gone. Even the sky."
The trio were silent for a moment, then the Artist spoke up. "Our planet's gone." she said sadly, "It was a beautiful place and we took it for granted, but it burned like the Earth. Now it's just atoms and memories. It went before it's time."
"What happened?" Rose asked gently.
"There was a war. And we lost." the Doctor replied solemnly.
"A war with who?" Rose asked. Neither alien answered; the Doctor was lost in thought, while the Artist just looked at the crowds of humans happily milling about, almost envying them. "What about your people?" Rose tried.
"I'm a Time Lord, and the Artist's a Time Lady." the Doctor answered, "We're the last of the Time Lords. They're all gone. We're the only survivors, there's no one else left."
"There's me..." Rose offered, giving them both a small smile.
The Artist turned to her. "You've seen just how dangerous it is with us." she said seriously, "D'ya wanna go home?"
Rose pondered for a few seconds, unsure. "I don't know." she spoke up, "I want..." She sniffed the air and caught whiff of a familiar smell. "Oh! Can you two smell chips?"
"Yeah." the Doctor laughed.
"Yep." The Artist added.
"I want chips." Rose said.
"Me too." the Doctor smiled.
"Me three." The Artist chimed in.
"Right then." Rose said, feeling more cheerful, "Before ya get me back in that box, chips it is, and you can pay." she told the Doctor.
"No money." the Doctor shrugged.
The Artist rolled her eyes. "Luckily, some of us have the sense to keep some money on us." she remarked, reaching into her pockets and pulling out a £20 note.
"Come on, then." Rose said brightly, "We've only got five billion years till the shops close." She linked arms with the two Time Lords and they walked down the street together laughing.