Nakabibingi ang katahimikan sa loob ng opisina ni Papa. Hindi ko magawang tumingin sa kanya nang diretso. Ni hindi ko magawang lumayo sa pintuang nakasara.
"Ano na namang ginagawa mo rito, Jordan? Hindi ba dapat nasa bahay ka na?" Papa asked coldly as his heavy steps lead him to his table. His hands were clenched to fists and I could just tell his anger from the sound of his voice.
Jordan. I bet he was so disappointed when he found out he was getting a daughter instead of a son. To make up for the disappointment, he just had to give me this name. I heard he even argued with my mom when he found out she wanted to name me Audrey.
I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. With all the guts that I could muster, I looked up and opened my eyes, resting it on the name plate on his table. "May ideya ka na sa nangyayari sa lungsod na 'to, 'di ba?"
Call it intuition. Call it a hunch. But the look on my father's face as he grabbed me away from Pia's dad, gave me the feeling that he knew more than was letting on. It was the same look on his face when he drove me to the pier three years ago—when I planned to leave and never come back.
"May alam ka kung bakit gano'n ang kinikilos ng papa ni Pia, 'di ba?" The words just rolled off my tongue.
My father froze. I suddenly had it in me to look up at his face—and that was when I saw it, the subtle alarm in his eyes. He quickly hid it by taking a deep breath and walking toward the cabinet where his stainless steel whiskey flask was hidden.
"Bukas nang umaga, umalis ka na."
My heart dropped at his firm order. I knew he resented me for ghosting the hell out of them, but I never expected him to cut me off completely. Iniisip ko pa lang na gusto akong itakwil ng tatay ko, gustong-gusto ko nang tumagay habang humahagulgol. Ironic how I always tried to run away from this island, but now I'm all hurt because he's finally sending me away.
"Isama mo ang mama mo at wala kang ibang pagsasabihan sa kung ano man ang naiisip mo."
Relief washed over me. The timing was off to celebrate, but shit, hindi ako gustong itakwil ng tatay ko!
"Jordan, naririnig mo ba ako?" Papa turned to face me, the stainless flask of whiskey tightly gripped by his hand.
Napakurap-kurap ako at biglang bumalik ang hindi maipaliwanag na kilabot sa sistema ko. "Ibig sabihin, totoo . . . Totoo ngang may kakaibang nangyayari sa islang 'to?"
Papa didn't say anything. He just sat on his chair and drank, letting a loud breath as he closed it shut.
My father's not the type to drink while on duty, so I'm sure as hell something's bothering him real bad. Like really really bad.
I found myself walking toward him, my heart already up my throat, goosebumps all over my body. "S-Si Madam Laura, nagawa niyang kumilos nang maayos, higit pa sa kakayahan ng isang malusog na matandang babae. Muntik na niya akong patayin kung hindi lang ako iniligtas ni Gilbert."
Mabilis na napatingin sa akin si Papa, kunot-noo at bakas ang pagkabahala sa mukha. Agad siyang tumayo ngunit bago pa man siya makalapit, mabilis akong umiling-iling at nagtaas ng mga kamay, pilit na tinatago ang iniindang sakit sa katawan.
"Okay lang ako, Pa. Sobrang okay ako, promise," I assured him before he could even ask. "Just please, help Gil. Wala siyang kasalanan, Pa. Iniligtas niya ang buhay ko. Hindi siya puwedeng makulong."
Agad na umiling si Papa. "Hindi ko siya puwedeng pakawalan nang hindi nakakausap ang apo ni Madam Laura. Mas ligtas siya kung nakakulong siya rito."
On one hand, I was glad that my father believed me right off the bat. On the other, I couldn't help but worry for Gil's safety. Saving my life shouldn't have to put him in danger like this!
"Pa . . . Pa, kailangan nating balaan ang lahat. Kung ano man 'to—" Bago ko pa man matapos ang sinasabi ko, mabilis na umiling si Papa.
"Aalis ka bukas kasama ang mama mo. Doon muna kayo sa tiyahin mo. Susunod sa inyo si PJ, pangako—"
"But what about the others?!" Hindi ko napigilang bumulalas. "Whether this is some medical or supernatural shit, people need to know! Pinatay si Pia ng sarili niyang kadugo, Pa! Kung may babala lang—"
"Hindi gano'n kadali ang lahat, Jordan!" Dumagundong boses ni Papa sa apat na sulok ng silid. Ngunit tila ba pinagsisihan niya ito at mabilis siyang naglibot ng paningin, pinapakiramdaman ang paligid. Nang tumingin siya ulit sa akin, bahagya niyang iniyuko ang ulo, hinihinaan ang boses habang mariin ang pagkakatitig sa akin. "Kailangan ko pa ng kaunting panahon. Kailangan ko pa ng proweba—"
"Tutulong ako." I felt chills at my own words.
In my mind, this was it. This was my ticket back to my family's heart—the ticket to my father's heart! He would be so freaking proud of me, and he would finally be glad to have a daughter like me!
"Mangangalap ako ng impormasyong magagamit mo, Pa. At sa pagkakataong 'to, wala na akong ililihim sa 'yo. Snitch na kung snitch." I found myself grinning like a fool. The idea that he'll finally have a proud smile on his face while talking about me with his misogynistic friends had my heart pounding and jumping.
Mabilis na tumayo si Papa, kunot-noo. "Jordan, huwag na huwag kang makikialam dito—"
Humakbang naman ako paatras at pangisi-ngising umiling. "Promise pa, mag-iingat ako! Hindi kita bibiguin sa pagkakataong 'to!"
Bago pa man magprotesta si Papa at magpakawala ng pangmalakasang sermon, dali-dali kong binuksan ang pinto. "Una na akong umuwi, Pa! Bye! Love you!"
As I closed the door shut and ran down the stairs, I cringed upon realizing the last thing I told him.
"Yikes! Ba't ko sinabi 'yon?" I shivered with gritted teeth.
***
Alas-siyete na ng umaga pero hindi pa rin ako tapos sa paglalagay ng makeup sa leeg kong may pasa dahil sa ginawa ni Madam Laura. I would've preferred to wear a scarf, but the last time I tried to wear one just for the hell of it, my mother accused me of having a hickey. I didn't even have a boyfriend back then, hickey pa kaya?
Nang matapos ako sa paghahanda, lumapit ako sa bintana at sumilip sa paligid. The neighborhood was as peaceful as it could get, except, people were busy preparing for the typhoon. Some of our neighbors were boarding up their windows, while others were packing up their cars to leave.
It was already seven but the sky looked like five. The wind outside was so strong and the rain was starting to pour. Kuya Vito wasn't kidding. The typhoon was going to be freaking harsh.
I had a feeling that it was going to be really long day considering the weather, and all the shit I needed to do—research about Madam Laura, attend the dang seminar, and help with the evacuation procedures. I needed to buy supplies too now that I was planning to stay and ride out the typhoon.
I grabbed my neon green backpack from the depths of my cabinet and made sure to fill it with anything I could use—an extra pair of clothes, powerbank, flashlight, medicine kit, swiss knife, and a freaking rope just in case I'll need to tie myself up in a pole again. That storm five years ago gave me a really good lesson.
As I put on my black, lacey t-shirt dress for the seminar, my phone beeped. There was a message from Masha.
Masha:
Gonna evacuate or ride it out?
Jordan:
Planning to ride it out. U?
Masha:
Yup.
Jordan:
Si Tita? Ayaw mag-evacuate kahit may bagyo? Sure?
Masha:
Mahirap i-explain hahaha
Grocery later? Supplies are running out
Jordan:
Medyo busy ako huhuhu Bilhan mo na lang ako pls tapos bayaran kita
Masha:
Sure sure! Will drop by later!
Jordan:
Oks. Ingat ingat.
Masha:
Ingat ingat
After reading her message, I put on my jacket and grabbed my bag. Pababa pa lang ako sa hagdan, nakasalubong ko si Mama na niyayaya na akong mag-agahan. Ayoko na sanang kumain dahil ayokong ma-late sa seminar, pero alam kong hindi ko kayang tanggihan si Mama.
"Si PJ?" tanong ko nang kaming dalawa lamang ni Mama ang nasa mesa.
"Kanina pang umaga umalis, sabay sa papa mo." Mama suddenly stood and grabbed something from the kitchen counter, she then handed it to me. "O, hayan, kahit sutil ka, may regalo ka pa rin mula sa papa mo."
Agad nakunot ang noo ko nang makitang isa itong maliit na kahon. Papa rarely gives gifts kaya naman dali-dali ko itong binuksan at nagulat ako nang makita ang isang gintong kuwintas na may isang parihabang pendant.
"Maaa!" Parang mawawasak ang labi ko sa lawak ng ngiti ko. My eyes were even starting to water. "Seryoso? Bigay talaga 'to ni Papa?"
"Oo, pero ako na ang pumili ng pendant dahil hindi niya alam ano ang gusto mo. Subukan mo 'yang hipan, dali." Mama's eyebrow was raised but I could notice the smile she was trying to hold back.
"Maaa!" Agad akong kumandong sa kanya at niyakap siya nang mahigpit, mangiyak-ngiyak.
"Bata ka! Ambigat mo!" Pinalo niya ako nang paulit-ulit kasabay ng malakas niyang pagtawa. "Ang tuhod ko sandali!"
Giddy and teary-eyed, I jumped back to my chair and blew on the necklace as it rested on my palm. Hindi ko alam bakit ko 'to kailangang hipan, pero keri lang.
"Sira kang bata ka! Pito yan! Isaksak mo sa bibig mo ang dulo at saka mo hipan!" wika ni Mama, tawang-tawa kaya maging ako ay tawa rin nang tawa sa katangahan ko.
"O siya, sige! Kumain ka na diyan. Basta ha, mamayang alas-dos, magkita na tayo sa pier. Baka mamaya maunahan tayo ng ulan," bilin ni Mama sa akin kaya tumango na lamang ako at ngumiti, pilit na nag-iisip kung paano siya matatakasan.
***
"What do you mean you can't find Clark?" Nakunot ang noo ko habang kausap sina Fash at Smoeki sa kabilang linya.
"Kagabi, natulog lang daw nang maaga kasi masama ang pakiramdam. Kanina, nagulat ang mama niya kasi wala na siya sa kuwarto niya. Gusto na ngang mag-report sa police ni Tita, e," paliwanag ni Fash na tila ba litong-lito rin.
"Gago, mag-report na kaya tayo sa pulis?" Narinig ko namang suhestyon ni Smoeki mula sa kabilang linya bago nila ako tuluyang binabaan.
Saktong dumating na ako sa Rosamond Hotel kaya bumaba na kaagad ako ng tricycle. Hindi na ako nagulat pa nang makita ang naglalakihang asul na tarpaulin na nakapaligid sa building—it was one of the hotel's way to shield their property from any debris caused by the typhoon.
Habang patungo sa lobby ng hotel, nahinto ako sa paglalakad nang makita ang isang grupo ng mga lalakeng abala sa paglalagay ng mga plywood sa ibabaw ng mga glass window. Napansin ko agad ang may kalakihang lalake na nakasuot ng kulay itim na t-shirt. His smiling face was printed on it while raising a thumb.
"Nieta. Bogart." Napasinghap ako sa kilabot. Mga bata pa lang kami, takot na takot na ako sa kanya. Ngayong may atraso ako sa kanya, dumoble pa ang takot ko. If Madam Laura didn't get to kill me, her grandson Bogart might!
Sa takot na baka makita niya ako, kumaripas na ako ng takbo patungo sa pinto ng hotel.
***
The function area was packed with cops kaya naman nawala agad ang takot ko kay Bogart. Marami mang iniisip, pilit na lamang akong nagtaas-noo habang nakatayo sa pintuan, nag-aabang sa pagdating ni Mayora Luigi. Sa lahat ng tao, ako pa talaga ang inutusang mag-abot ng bouquet ng rosas para sa kanya. Politics disgusts the hell out of me, but I had no other choice. Ayokong mapahiya ang papa ko dahil lang sa akin.
Nang nagsimula akong mangalay, naupo muna ako sa isang tabi at nag-inat habang pinapasadahan ang tatlong malalaking red gift box sa paligid ng venue—isa sa stage, at tig-isa naman sa kaliwa't kanang row ng mga upuan. Sa laki nito, parang kasya yata si Senggo.
Sa huli, bumuntonghihinga ako't nagplano kung paano tatakasan si Mama para makabalik agad sa islang 'to. Sa lalim ng iniisip ko, hindi ko man lang naramdaman na may lumapit na sa akin.
"Tinatanong ni Mama bakit hindi mo sinasagot ang tawag niya."
Nagulat ako nang makita si PJ. Gaya ng dati, walang kaemo-emosyon ang pananalita niya at halatang napipilitan lang siyang kausapin ako.
Hindi ko napigilang mainis kaya naman tumango lang ako't inirapan siya. Akala mo sinong guwapo, mukha namang walang ligo at hindi nagsusuklay.
"Sagutin mo ang tawag niya kung ayaw mong mag-alala siya," aniya at tinalikuran na ako. Sinundan ko siya ng tingin at nakita kong lumapit siya kay Papa upang magmano. Unlike his behavior toward me, PJ had a warm smile for my father. And the worst part? My father happily introduced him to his colleagues—which he has never done for me.
It was even more insulting dahil mukhang walang ligo si PJ at ni mukhang ni hindi man lang na-plantsa ang suot niyang grey flannel shirt, samantalang ako 'tong nakasuot ng dress at makeup. I hate Papa's misogynistic friends, but I want to be introduced as his daughter too!
In the end, I decided to look away. My eyes were stinging and I was scared that I'd end up crying in public.
Hinawakan ko na lamang pendant ng kuwintas na suot ko. At least he got me a necklace.
***
It was almost nine when Mayor Luigi arrived. I politely handed her the bouquet, but I almost gagged when her fckboy of a son, Ezra, winked at me and mouthed 'welcome back.' My younger self would have flipped out because she had a massive crush on Ezra, but now I just want to hurl.
I stood by the the buffet area and cringe-watched as Mayor Luigi and her entourage walked along the aisle, stopping by to shake hands with prominent citizens as they headed up the stage.
"Langya ka, Jordan. Dito ka talaga pumuwesto malapit sa buffet." Napalingon ako at nakita si Kuya Vito na mukhang nabunutan ng tinik dahil nagbunga ang ilang linggo niyang paghihirap para sa event.
"Huwag mo akong awayin, malaki ang utang na loob mo sa akin," biro ko na lamang sabay siko sa kanya.
Bahagyang tumawa si Kuya Vito at ngumuso sa stage. "Ano palang meron diyan sa malaking gift box? Ba't gumagalaw-galaw?"
"Huh?" Kunot-noo akong napatingin sa stage kung nasaan nakapuwesto ang may kalakihang kahon na napapalibutan ng kulay pula na wrapping at kulay itim na ribbon. "Malay ko. Christmas decor?"
I noticed the box when I came in, but I didn't really mind considering it was October and the box was surrounded by other Christmas ornaments. Besides, Gil and I were only in charge of doing minimal stuff. We weren't in charge of the planning.
"Anong malay mo?" Bahagyang natawa si Kuya Vito, bakas ang kalituhan sa mukha.
Napakibit-balikat kaagad ako at lalong napakunot-noo. Sa hindi malamang dahilan, bigla akong kinilabutan.
Sabay kaming napatingin ulit ni Kuya Vito sa stage at tila ba huminto ang oras para sa akin dahil sa mga sumunod na nangyari . . .
Gumuho ang buong kahon at lumantad ang tatlong tao na tila ba kulay pula mula ulo hanggang paa. Para bang pinaliguan sila ng isang balde ng pintura. Ewan.
The entire function room went silent. The Mayor and her entourage literally froze in the middle of the aisle. Meanwhile, the rest of us were left wondering what the hell was going on.
A uniformed policeman walked up the stage and yelled at the three people who staggered like a group of drunk men.
"Hoy! Anong—" Hindi na natapos pa ng pulis ang sinasabi niya nang bigla na lamang siyang sinugod ng isa sa mga lalake at pinagsusuntok. Ngunit nagulat ako dahil kasabay nito ang makapanindig-balahibong palahaw ng pulis. Sa bawat suntok na kanyang natatanggap, sumisirit ang napakaraming dugo sa sahig.
"Nieta . . . " All of a sudden, I noticed the hands of the red men.
It was only then that I realized that their hands were taped with knives.
"Papa!" Awtomatikong kumawala ang napakalakas na tili mula sa bibig ko.
//