(058 - Want.)
Ọmọ, this chapter will definitely make your body go Mirinmirin Waranwaran (in Bertha's voice). Chemistry overload🥺😭❤️🔥. I miss writing about Simi and Hilary together.
Before you go further, note that everything that happened in the last chapter, going to happen in this chapter all through to chapter 059 is taking place on the same day. It's important to note
Now, Let's Dive in✨.
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐘
(Hilary Idara Eghosa)
It wasn't up to thirty minutes after I made the call that I saw the familiar car drive into the streets of the memorial garden from where I stood.
Actually, it was fifteen minutes after I made the call.
Fifteen.
The memorial garden was located on the outskirt of Lekki Crown, on the island, and Whiteridge Estate was located in Ikeja City, on the mainland. The drive between both places should be nothing less than an hour, and that's if there's no traffic on the road.
Simi drove that distance in fifteen minutes.
I can't begin to imagine how maniacal he would have been on the road, swerving through cars and literally flying over them just to get to this place on time. Or maybe he was on the island already when I called him.
I wouldn't know which one it was, but the bottom line was that he left every single thing he was doing as soon as I told him to pick me up. He must have had plans of his own for today, yet he left everything behind just to come to get me when all I did was ignore him this past month.
The gesture almost brought tears to my eyes.
If I ever doubted whatever I felt for this guy... No More.
No More.
The closer the car got to where I stood outside the cemetery, the faster my heart was beating. I could feel it jackhammering against my rib cage and threatening to burst out from my chest. I wasn't sure if it was because I was excited to see him, or because I was very nervous.
A little bit of both, I guess.
Excited because I get to see him again. The last time I saw him was Monday before my parents came to pick me up from the health center. We didn't talk then, safe for him occasionally asking me how I was, or if I wanted to eat or drink anything. Other than that, he just watched me throughout that day, leaving the talking to me and my friends.
Nervous because I wasn't sure if things were going to go back to normal after everything that has gone down.
But I was willing to keep an open mind. I had to keep an open mind.
I just hope I haven't lost him.
If you had, he won't be here. My subconscious reminded me.
The car parked on the other side of the street, leaving a wide gap between Simi and me. The glass was wind up so I couldn't see him, but heaven knows I could feel him. Even with the range of gap between us, I could feel his aura emanating in waves from inside the car to where I stood.
So Strong. So Potent. All Simi.
My heart picked up a faster beat as I kept my attention on the car, very conscious of every movement that was about to be made. It was at this point I knew my nervousness was a lot stronger than my excitement. My palms were sweaty and my fingers were shaking.
Stay calm, Hilary. Stay Calm.
The door opened, and the first thing I saw was his leg hitting the interlocked ground, causing my breath to hang in my throat. Then his full body followed, exiting the car completely, closing the door, and leaning against the side of the car.
Looking right at me.
I inhaled sharply, rendered completely speechless just by one look. So, I allowed my eyes to sweep over his features instead, taking him in slowly.
And I felt my lips stretch in a smile at his unique look.
Simi was rocking a mustard yellow turtle neck shirt with grey wool chinos and a pair of white trainers. Then he topped the look up with a long deep blue jacket to shield himself from the cold harmattan, and his hair was in its usual signature messy curls.
(Simisola André Jordan Slaying like Dragon Slayer😭❤️)
The color combination was something I have never imagined together till Simi. And he still managed to pull it off so well. He looked good.
Really Good.
I looked back up to meet Simi's eyes and found him checking me out just like I was checking him out.
Not like I was even dressed as well as he was. Just a casual baggy off-white knitted sweater on top of a crop top, and over a pair of black leggings and winter ankle boots to go. Besides, I haven't changed my hairstyle in over three weeks and they were in rough cornrows that just sat on my back.
(See Hilary's fit na! And she's downgrading it😭❤️🔥; Didn't get a picture of Hilary's face claims with the fit I had in mind.)
Still, I didn't miss the look of utter fascination and immense longing that marred Simi's face as he took me in.
A look that told me he missed me just as much as I missed him, if not more.
His eyes met mine again, amber orbs sparkling with emotions nameable and unnameable, beautiful and intense, invoking an uncontrolled heat to course through my veins. I involuntarily shivered under his gaze, knowing that I'd have to say something sooner or later.
I was the one that called him here.
"H-Hi,"
My voice came out in a crooked whisper, breathless and barely audible. But we were in front of a cemetery. It was quiet, so he could hear me loud and clear. And I knew he heard me when he leaned off his car to stand upright.
But he didn't say anything.
All he did was watch me intently, making it so difficult for me to think about what else to say. I searched my mind repeatedly for words, sentences, phrases, clauses... anything to say to him but my mind was blank.
Omo.
"I-I," I began, but stopped when my voice was still grouchy, clearing my throat to make it clearer. "I don't know what to say," A pause. "I don't know where to start–"
"You can start by hugging me,"
He finally spoke, cutting me off gently with his voice toned to a desperate plea. His shoulder was slumped and his face conjured in despondency. He looked like if I didn't hug him at that moment, he'll melt to the ground and wash away.
A soft sigh-cry escaped my lips, my shoulders dropping as relief washed over me.
"Please," He whispered, begging me.
God, punish me if I say no.
I don't know who moved first, but all I know is that in a matter of seconds, we met in the middle of the street and the next moment, I was leaping into Simi's open arms, wrapping my hands around his neck and feeling his wrap around my middle in that same instant.
Home. I sighed again.
That was what it felt like to be in Simi's arms again. It felt like Home.
Simi held me against himself like it was the last time he'd be hugging me, gathering me in his arms till I couldn't feel my feet touching the floor anymore, and tightening his hands around me, it felt like he wanted to infuse me into his body so that I'd never find a way to leave again.
And honestly, I think I'd very much like that.
I sighed in content when I felt his deep breathing against the space between my neck and shoulder, caressing my skin softly and daintily. He was taking deep breaths and exhaling them, eliciting goosebumps all over me. Just the slightest bit of his breath on my skin and I was shivering against him, almost melting to a puddle in his arms.
And all he had to do was hold me and breathe.
His essence cocooned me and I exhaled in satisfaction, remembering how addictive his aura always felt, how easy it was able to draw me in with just one pull. I could feel his heart beating rapidly just like mine was, the depth of all that was going on hitting me with full force.
I am in Simi's arms.
I haven't lost him.
I don't think you ever did, Hilary.
My eyes began to water and I buried my face into the hollow of his neck, tightening my arms around him but not right enough to strangle him.
"God, I missed you... so much," He whispered into my neck, his tone is a low breathless growl laced with undiluted emotions that expressed exactly how he felt. A small laugh escaped my lips.
"I missed you more," I whispered back. He laughed lightly before I felt his lips against the corner of my neck.
At first, I thought it was just him burying his face deeper into my neck, but when I felt his lips the second time, and the third... and the seventh, I knew he was kissing me there. I shivered against him and sighed, involuntarily tilting my head to the side a little to give me more access to my skin.
I wasn't even sure he knew what he was doing, or how much it was affecting me and making me feel. And I think that was what made this a lot more intimate.
Simi lowered me till my feet were back to touching the floor, pulling away slightly from me so that he could look me in the eye. There were so many emotions roaming through his orbs but one I could pick up, the most vibrant one was happiness. And it made my heart swell in my chest.
"Hi..." He whispered, his cupid-bow lips stretching in that beautiful smile of his.
"Hi," I answered, mimicking his smile and tiptoeing to be close to his eye level. Simi released his hands from around me and used them to cup my face in between his palms, lowering his forehead to touch mine. I held both his hands with either of mine, exhaling as I closed my eyes.
I don't know how long we stayed in that particular position, right there in the middle of the Memorial Park Street. But we stayed in each other's arms, memorizing once again what it felt like to be this close to each other, getting used to each other again. Because heaven knows I'm never staying away from Simi, either as a friend... or as something more.
We finally pulled away but still stayed close to each other.
"You look beautiful," He muttered, looking at me in a daze as he took his hand to the back of my neck and swept the tail of my cornrows over my shoulder. "I love your hair," He was grinning, playing with the locs. I giggled, averting my gaze from his with a shy smile playing on my lips.
"Thank you," I whispered back, fisting his blue jacket before looking back at him. "I'm sorry for calling so suddenly."
"Well, that makes one of us because I'm ecstatic you called," He cut me off gently, his words calming me down immediately. "God knows, I've been waiting by my phone all week expecting a call from you," He confessed, the seriousness in his voice told me he was exaggerating one bit.
I said it. I laughed.
"That's a relief," I said. "I actually thought you wouldn't pick up–"
"Hey," He cut him off with that soft whisper, placing his hands on either side of my arm and gently pulling me even closer to him. "I'm glad you called," He said, looking me right in the eye. "You have no idea how hard not being able to call you was. But I had to respect that you needed to do this on your own,"
"Yeah," I nodded, glancing over my shoulder at the cemetery. "I actually came to see my brother,"
"I figured," Simi answered, a small smile of understanding playing on his lips. Then he brought his right hand to my face, brushing his knuckles against my cheek. I leaned into his touch.
"How are you?" He asked. I know he wasn't asking me that just so that I could just say "fine". He was asking how I was feeling, after everything that happened this week... everything that has been happening.
And finally, I had a genuine answer to that.
"I'm okay," I answered, a gentle smile making its way to the corners of my lips. "I feel okay," I told Simi.
He believed me. I could tell by the sigh of relief that escaped his lips before he curved his hand around the back of my neck and brought my face closer to his. My eyes fluttered close when I felt his lips press against my forehead in a dainty kiss, lingering there for a little while.
I've missed this. I've really missed this.
"Do you want me to take you home?" He asked after. he pulled back to look at me again. I took a look at the time from my wristwatch. It read 2:38 pm. It was still very early and my parents would not even be home at this time. Besides, I needed to make up for all the lost time with Simi.
So, I shook my head.
"No," I answered. "I want to spend the day with you," I told him. His grin came back, stretching wide across his face. He definitely liked the sound of that.
"I was hoping you'd say that," He said and I chuckled. "Come on. Let's go grab something to eat," He added, pulling me along to his car. The only thing I've had today was the orange juice Chidera gave me. I could use a meal.
When Simi opened the door to the back seat, I stopped him.
"What's wrong?" He looked immediately concerned.
"It's nothing," I assured him with a smile. "But I want to sit in front," I said. He looked quite taken aback by my request, his eyes widening slightly.
"You want to sit in front," He repeated, astonishment laces in his voice.
I nodded.
"Are you sure?" He asked, double-checking. It did something to my heartstrings that he could still remember something as crucial as me always taking the back seat.
But not today. I really need to face this once and for all.
So I nodded again
"Yeah, I'm sure," I smiled. He smiled back immediately, and I could see the relief in that smile.
"Okay," He closed the back door and opened the one to the passenger's side before helping me to climb in. I thanked him and pulled on the seatbelt to hook myself in.
"Let me help with that," He offered and I let him.
He leaned forward, much closer to me before reaching over to get the seatbelt buckle over my middle and pulling the longer side from the retractor, holding my gaze steadily as he hooked the tongue to the buckle of the seatbelt.
Immediately, my heart picked up a faster beat.
I was suddenly very conscious of every little thing, especially of how close he was to me, literally towering over me with his face just inches away from mine. I could feel his minty breath fanning the skin of my face softly, and the way the tip of his finger slightly grazed my thigh, causing a soft gasp to escape my lip.
And when I saw his gaze drop quickly, almost unnoticeably to my lips, I swear I forgot how to breathe.
Oh, God. My chest rose and fell rapidly.
"All done," He breathed out, his voice huskier and deeper than they normally were.
"Thank you,"
I couldn't even recognize my own voice, how breathless I sounded. When Simi pulled away and closed the door, I was finally able to breathe properly, exhaling shakily.
He has definitely not lost his touch. I thought to myself.
He entered the car through the driver's side and closed the door, hooking his own seatbelt before he looked at me, his lips stretched in a smile.
"Are you ready?" He asked.
"I am," I answered, mimicking his smile. He started the ignition and I sighed, relaxing in my seat. For the first time this week, I felt whole.
Completely and Totally Whole.
"I missed you,"
I couldn't even help the smile I'd been fighting when he said those three words for the seventeenth time - yes, I counted - since we'd been together today. And I can tell that he doesn't even know how much he has said it to me, how many times he has told me that he missed me.
Or how his constant reminder made me feel.
It's so fascinating how someone could be so intentional with words and seemingly harmless gestures that made my heart swell with all kinds of unnameable but beautiful emotions, yet so clueless as to how it makes me feel.
That's the exact definition of what Simi has been since we left Memorial Park, all the way to where we had lunch, and now as we were taking a stroll through the park where the restaurant we ate was located.
Hand in Hand. Fingers intertwined with each other. His thumb unconsciously stroking the back of my palm in a dainty caress.
I was more than certain it was unconscious, but that didn't douse the flames his thumb left in its wake.
But I couldn't bring myself to pull away from his hold because I liked every bit of what I was feeling.
Scratch that. I Love every bit of what he's making me feel.
"I missed you too," I whispered back, looking down to intentionally avoid his gaze because heaven knows, I don't think I can ever handle looking at Simi right in the eye.
When I glanced up to take a look at him, he was already staring at me. And even though I expected that he would be, it didn't reduce the kind of effect his stare had on me. The kind of effect his stare has always had on me.
Right from day one, even before we got this close, his gaze has always had a way of igniting something in me.
It used to be nervousness at first, but now, it was that feeling that made my heart accelerate faster than it's naturally and biologically supposed to. That feeling that had goosebumps sprouting on my skin and had chills running down my spine in flux.
No, not fear.
The other one.
The one that has your toes curling and leaves you breathless. The kind of feeling that leaves you wanting more after one taste.
Simi looked at me like he could see all of me. Body, Soul, and Spirit. He looked at me in a way that made me feel naked.
Completely Naked in an amazing way.
God... I quickly averted my gaze from his, feeling my cheeks heat up and my heart beating faster.
Osanobua. This guy has turned me into what I don't know.
"Stop looking at me like that," I told him.
"Like what?" He asked.
I didn't even doubt the slight confusion mixed with laughter in his tone because I can bet everything I have that he doesn't know what he was doing.
And it makes it even harder to answer him.
How do I tell him that he should stop looking at me because he stares at me in a way that sets my entire being on fire?
"Hilary,"
He called my name when I didn't answer him, his voice in a soothing whisper, deep, brooding... sexy.
I fought the urge to sigh at the reverberation his voice coursed through me.
Gosh, I'm so glad the pack is scanty.
He stopped walking, automatically stopping me from going further too. Then, he crossed from beside me and came to stand in front of me so that he would be looking directly at me, his body close to mine. I kept my gaze averted from his, for my own sake.
But of course, he won't allow that.
Simi removed his hand from mine and brought it to my face, placing his fingers beneath my chin to tilt my head up to look at him. An involuntary whimper escaped my lips as I quickly brought my hand to hold his wrist, stopping him from tilting it up.
But my willpower couldn't even contain it because when he attempted again, I let him.
Till he cupped the side of my face in his palm, his thumb caressing my cheeks softly as he held my face up till I was looking right at him.
Till I was looking right into his eyes.
The sigh I've been trying to hold back all this while left my lips with no restriction.
God, this guy is BEAUTIFUL.
"Like what?"
He repeated his question, his voice still in that brooding and sexy whisper, his breath fanning against my face. I fought hard not to bite down against my lips.
"Like that," I whispered back. "Just like that,"
And my guy didn't still get what I was saying.
"But how can I not look at you? You are beautiful,"
I couldn't help the soft laugh-cry of frustration that escaped my lips, my head falling to rest against his chest. Instinctively, his free hand goes around my waist to steady me against his body, bringing me so unimaginably close in a way that doesn't help my state one bit.
How can he say words like that so casually and hold me like this?
"What?" He asked, wanting to know the reason for my reaction. I raised my head from his chest to look directly at him.
"You cannot say words like that so casually, Simi," I answered, my voice coming out strained and breathless. He bobbed his head to the side, amber orbs peering incite-fully at me.
"Why not? It's the truth," He maintained and I sighed, knowing I cannot even stop him at this point.
Deep down, I don't want him to stop.
And it seemed like Simi knew exactly what I was thinking because he tightened his hand around my waist, pulling me even further to himself. His left hand was still at the side of my face, his fingers brushing back my edges, knuckles skimming down my skin.
This guy has no idea the kind of control he has over me and my entire being. He has absolutely no idea how he has managed to put my whole body under his subjection.
And I think that's what makes it even more exciting. The fact that he didn't know what he was doing, or how it made me feel... everywhere.
His touch was just as gentle and soft as it was fiery and passionate. If that even makes any sense.
"Do I make you uncomfortable?" He asked, piercing gaze trained on me.
I shake my head immediately, "Not in the slightest,"
"Do you really want me to stop looking at you?"
The answer came in a heartbeat, "No,"
Simi chuckled lightly, a chuckle that said he has caught me.
Then he lowered his head to my level, low enough that the tip of his nose was brushing against mine and his lips were hovering just centimeters above mine. I inhale sharply, keeping my eyes closed, feeling his breath on me.
"Last question,"
He whispered huskily, his voice making me shiver against him. I could feel his right hand absent-mindedly training down my clad back, causing my breath to come out in soft, uncontrolled pants.
Honestly, if his last question was for him to kiss me, I don't think I'd be able to hold back.
"I Really Like You, Hilary,"
My eyes flew open as soon as he said that, my eyes meeting his already trained on me.
What...
I inhaled sharply as my heart which was already jumping irregularly increased in even more irregularity, hitting vehemently and furiously against my rib cage that I was so sure anyone within a five-mile radius could hear it beating so thunderously.
My mouth suddenly grew dry.
Did Simi just confess his feelings for me?
I was aware of them. It was clear as day. But it didn't make this any less shocking because I wasn't expecting it at all.
As far as I have seen, and as far as I know, guys don't usually come out expressing their feelings this way. They either wait for the girl to say their own before they speak, or they just vibe and inshallah their way into a relationship.
This was an exception. Simi was - is an exception.
I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I was speechless just as much as I was breathless.
I knew what my answer was. Deep down in my mind, I knew what to say back to him. There was nothing more to hide about the way I felt for him. It has always been written all over my face.
Just like it was written all over my face now.
When I opened my mouth again to speak, a small laugh escaped my lips.
"That wasn't a question, Simi,"
It was a miracle how I didn't fumble on my words.
Simi chuckled, and I could see... and feel the relief that exuded from him, and it made me wonder how long he probably practiced before he could tell. Just the thought of that made my heart swell up in my chest.
His thumb kept brushing against my skin tenderly, his right hand finding its way into my sweater till I could feel his hand flatten on my bare back.
"Yeah, that's not the question. I just needed you to know," He said, and I bite down against my lips to stop myself from smiling even more.
"The question is," He began, removing his left hand from my face to join my right around my waist, fusing me further into his body. My hands instinctively went around his neck, his face towering just inches above mine.
"Yeah?" I urged him on.
"Do. You. Like. Me?"
He whispered, picking his words carefully, delicately, making me feel that weight and depth of four seemingly simple words.
Now, I couldn't even stop the smile from tugging up the corners of my lips. Simi mimicked, searching my eyes for the answer.
It was right there. In my eyes.
"I think you already have the answer," I whispered and his smile widened slightly.
"I want to hear you say it," He said and I laughed, averting my gaze from his.
Of course, He wasn't having that, using the side of his head to push mine back into position, his cheek brushing mine, nose brushing mine, lips only centimeters away from mine. I could feel his breath fanning my face ever so airily, I felt tingles.
I exhaled shakily.
"And, I need you to look me in the eye when you say it,"
His whisper was breathless, inciting, and his words were intentional, purposeful. They held me transfixed to his gaze, so much so I couldn't look away anymore.
"I really like you, Simi," I found myself whispering that so easily, looking right into his eyes as I said every single word.
"I like you a lot," I emphasized even more, and that emphasis seemed to do something to Simi.
He exhaled in what I knew was relief, lowering his head more till his forehead was pressed to mine, eyes closed. I trailed my right hand down to his chest, almost jerking back when I felt how erratic his heart was beating against his chest, thundering furiously that I feared it'd burst out.
Is this how I make him feel? Is this what I do to him?
"You have no idea how glad I am that it's not one-sided"
The satisfaction in his voice couldn't go unnoticed, not with how clear it was. I could feel him smiling even before his lips smiled.
And I couldn't fight my own smile back
"Trust me, it has never been one-sided," I said to him, and that was when his lips smiled. He opened his eyes, specks of gold shining in his orbs, twinkling with happiness.
He then lifted his head a bit and pressed his lips against my forehead, eliciting a sigh of contentment from me as my eyes fluttered close. His lips lingered, silently speaking to me, speaking to my soul.
He really likes me.
We like each other.
That revelation made me feel complete in ways I've never felt before.
"Do you want to go home now?" He asked, whispering against my skin. I quickly shook my head.
"No,"
I felt his lips stretch in a small smile against my skin before he pulled back slightly to look at me.
"I want to take you somewhere," He said.
"Where?" I asked, and he smirked.
"You'll see," He answered, before leading me to where he parked the car.
I followed without protest. Anything to spend even the slightest bit of extra time with Simi.
⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
𝐒𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐀
(Simisola André Jordan)
It was a herculean task to keep my eyes on the road with Hilary sitting beside me.
Especially after what we just shared at the park.
There was absolutely no way I could not not look at her.
I kept glancing at her every three seconds, she herself even noticed. Every time she would look at me, I was already looking at her, watching her. Then she'd just smile, giggle a little bit and look away.
But while I could still manage to keep my eyes on the road, my hands? Not so much.
It was massively, tremendously, and enormously hard to keep my hands to myself, a lot harder because I was supposed to be driving with both hands. But still, I couldn't manage to keep my hands away from her.
I mean, how could I not touch her after being away from her for one whole month? One whole torturous and excruciatingly unbearable month at that?
I'd occasionally remove my right hand from the stirring wheel and reach over to hold hers. She never protested, even making her hand within reach for me to hold, and lacing her fingers between mine.
Driving with one hand was a cakewalk for me, I've known how to do that since I was sixteen. The issue was how to handle both the gear and stirring wheel with just one hand while the other was resting in Hilary's.
Thank God my side of the road was relatively free, but at this rate, I'd probably drive us into a wall or light pole.
Am I stupid for not caring if that would happen?
Yes. Yes, you are stupid. Very stupid. My subconscious lashed at me.
Omo, I'm a goner.
I was leaving Eden City Hospital where I went to check up on my mum - to no avail, again - when Hilary's phone call came in.
To say I was shocked was an understatement.
After everything that went down this week, I thought it would take ages before she'll let herself go again. I can't begin to count the number of times I had to stop myself from picking up my phone to call her myself, just to see how she was doing. At some point, I even had to put off my phone and bury it under layers of clothes to stop myself from getting tempted.
I was so worried, almost going insane with fear and anxiety that I didn't know how she was doing... or that I couldn't hear her voice, even just for a little moment.
So the call was totally unexpected and out of the blue. If I've had a thought on who would be calling who, it was me calling Hilary, not the other way around.
Still, It took me nothing over zero point five seconds, yes I counted, to pick up the call, pushing every single thing I was thinking about to the back of my mind and locking it up just to focus on her.
And when she told me to pick her up and sent me the address, I jumped in my car and sped out through the hospital gates, driving on the highway like a madman on crack.
A madman on crack is a madman pro max.
How I got to where she was in one piece was honestly a miracle for me, but the fact that she had decided to call me of all people was enough reason for me to even fly across, just to come and meet with her.
I dropped everything on my mind and zeroed in on her. Just on her. That was how much Hilary meant to me, how much she still means to me.
That's how much effect she had on me.
One phone call. Just one phone call from her and I was at her beck and call.
And by God, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Yup, it's already certified. I am fücking obsessed with this girl.
In other words, I'm now a mumu.
The last few hours we've spent together trying to make up for all the times we spent away from each other will never be enough, but it was Everything I wanted.
I could finally breathe her in, her sweet scent that I have missed so much. I could finally hold her in my arms, so close to me, feel her against me. I could finally be in her space without restrictions, without fear. It was all I've been wanting for a month, all I was craving.
That's how addicted I've gotten to her because God knows, one more week away from her and I'd have gone mad.
Hilary Idara Eghosa is my Anchor.
I want her in my life every waking moment and every passing day.
I want her in my life, and I want her to know how much I do. I want her to understand how desperate I was for her presence in my life, even in the tiniest bit. I want her to know every single thing I feel for her. I want her to see it... to feel every depth of my feelings for her.
And somehow, telling her I really liked her was suddenly not enough.
I want to say more. I want to do more.
Kúkú cut you heart out and give it to her na. My subconscious teased me.
If it didn't require me dying, heaven knows I would.
I swear, this is no longer a natural something.
I looked at Hilary again and found her already looking at me, that beautiful smile I have missed so much and now couldn't get enough of tugged at the corners of her glossed lips.
I found myself automatically mimicking the smile.
"What?" I asked, glancing at the road before looking back at her.
"You should really keep your eyes on the road and your hand on the gear," She said, placing my hand on the gear and using her index to tilt my head back into the right position.
I laughed lightly, turning my head back to look at her.
"But I'd rather look at you. You said you didn't mind me looking at you,"
I reminded her what she said a couple of minutes ago in the park, my eyes alternating between the road and her.
"Not when you are driving, of course!" she lamented, leaning back against the chair and pulling her bottom lip in between her teeth to stop herself from smiling so hard, despite wanting to seem serious.
But she couldn't help it. And I couldn't either.
I couldn't stop my eyes from trailing down to her glossed lips, noting to myself how shiny they looked. How inviting...
My heart jumped and my breath seized almost painfully in my chest at that lewd thought.
And this is exactly why you should be paying attention to the road, Simi. My subconscious chided me.
"Okay, okay," I finally looked away from her, trying to catch my breath. "I'll focus on the road. I need to get you back in one piece so I'll commit to that," I said, quickly glancing at Hilary to see her reaction.
She was still smiling radiantly, hypnotically.
"Don't worry," She whispered, trailing a finger on the back of my hand that sat on the gear, leaving infernos of feelings in its wake, before she placed her whole hand on top of mine.
I exhaled sharply against my better judgment.
"I'm still here," She held my gaze and I didn't look away - couldn't look away even if I wanted to. She had me ultimately spellbound.
"I'm not going anywhere," She said- no, promised. It sounded like a promise. Not just for now but for moments to come. Moments between the two of us.
"I know," I whispered, smiling back.
Her smile stretched a little more across her lips as squeezed my hand against the gear, and didn't let it go throughout the ride.
"Oh my God!"
Hilary gasped out and I turned to look at her, smiles tugged at the corners of my lips as I watched her stare through the windscreen of the car in awe at the big field I just drove us into.
A Drive-In Cinema at Greenland Park.
(How the Drive-In Cinema looks like 😌. Have you ever been to one?)
When I saw the flier for today's Drive-In a few weeks ago on Instagram, the first thing I could think of was how Hilary might love to go. But then, we weren't speaking and I couldn't even ask her if she was interested in going with me. So I just resolved that I wouldn't go at all.
Only for today to happen and it was just the perfect timing. I had to bring her.
All things do work together for good.
"You brought me to a Drive-in," Hilary looked at me, eyes twinkling with contagious excitement. It made me chuckle as I nodded to her question-like statement.
"A Drive-In Theatre is a lot better than an indoor theatre," I told her. "Don't let anyone tell you otherwise," I added and she laughed.
"I've actually never been to one of these," She said to me. "I've always wanted to go but I never got the time to," She looked at me.
"Did you know that? Was that why you brought me here?" She asked, and I shook my head.
"I had no idea," I answered her. "This is definitely a good coincidence," I added and she laughed again.
Honestly, I didn't, and the simple fact that she didn't have to tell me before I brought her to a place she has always wanted to come to makes me feel proud of myself.
"Well, I believe you," She stated when her laughter subsided. "It's not like I've ever had to tell you before you know exactly what I want," the soft smile playing on her lips gave her skin a beautiful glow.
"It's one of the very many things I really like about you," she added, her voice reduced to a whisper as her gaze held mine.
I bobbed my head to the side, a smirk tugging at the corners of my lips.
"Many Things," I repeated. "Am I ever going to get a list?" I tease. She giggled, flipping the tails of her cornrows over her shoulders. My eyes followed the movement.
"We'll see," Was her simple, yet suggestive response, a subtle glint in her eyes before she looked away from me. A low chuckle escaped my lips.
This girl. I shook my head with a smile, driving further into the field to find a parking spot close to the screen.
The field was already packed up with dozens of cars, lined up in a systematic order right in front of a huge blank projector screen, and just at either side of the parking lot were huge speakers on several podiums attached to the screen. There were also string lights connected to poles, something to illuminate the field when it starts getting dark.
At the far end of the field were kiosks and snack bars, packed with a bunch of people getting stuff for the movie. Some people were even setting up outside their cars, spreading blankets on the grass like a picnic, and getting ready for the movie to start.
Everywhere was rowdy but that's what made a Drive-In so much fun.
I finally found a parking spot close to the screen and pulled up there, turning off the ignition when I was done parking straight.
"When is the movie starting?" Hilary asked, unhooking her seatbelt. I looked at my wristwatch, and then at the sky that was already getting dark.
"In about ten minutes or so?" I answered, unhooking my own seatbelt. "Do you want snacks? Let me go and get us some," I offered. Hilary gave me a look.
"We just ate, Simi," She reminded me.
"Like two hours ago," I debunked and she chuckled. "Besides, who watches a movie without popcorn and soda? I'm getting you one whether you like it or not," I maintained.
"Yes, sir," She gave a mock salute. I laugh lightly, leaning in to press her kiss on her cheek before pulling off my jacket.
"I'll be right back," I said.
"Hey," Hilary called to me right before I opened the door of the car, her hand wrapping around my wrist, stopping me from moving. I turned to look at her.
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry for not asking this sooner," She began, and I start to wonder what she was talking about. "It should have been the first thing I should have asked when I saw you.–
How's your mum?"
That was the last question I was expecting her to ask so it definitely did catch me unaware.
I froze up, my entire body stiffening. I don't know if she felt the change in my body language because she was holding me. It would honestly be so hard not to feel how suddenly tensed I was. But I was glad that it was getting dark and she didn't see the color drain from my face at her question.
Or at least, I hope she didn't see it.
"Simi," She called me, hand gently squeezing mine, her voice laced with concern. "How is she? Have you been able to see her?"
I wasn't sure if I should tell the truth or not. The last thing I wanted was to talk about something that will potentially dampen the atmosphere and mood we have had throughout today. And that's what talking about my mum would do.
Besides, today was about making Hilary happy. Nothing more.
And even with how crappy my day began, being with her has made up for it. I'm happy if she's happy. At this moment, that was all that mattered to me.
So I cleared my throat and mustered a big smile to mask the change in my demeanor.
"She's okay," I lied, trying to sound as convincing as possible. "I saw her today and she's doing well. The doctor was right, it was all just stress,"
It wasn't stress, and I knew that for a fact. It was something more, and I'd already concluded a long time ago that they were hiding something from me, only that I didn't know what it was. But the last thing I wanted to do was worry Hilary about my problems.
She seemed to have bought it because she exhaled in relief.
"Thank God," She whispered, more to herself than to me, but gave me another reassuring hand squeeze. I keep up with the faux smile.
"Yeah," I whispered, swallowing the invisible lump in my throat. "Let me quickly go and get the snacks, okay? The movie is about to start," I nodded towards the already lit screen. She nodded and let my hand go, and I finally got down from the car, able to breathe properly.
As I walked to the kiosk to get popcorn and soda, I tried my best to push any thought of my mum to the back of my mind. I couldn't afford to think about her now, not when today was already going so great, so perfectly.
Thinking about her will ruin my mood and my mood will ruin the already magical night with Hilary.
I didn't want that.
"Hold on for a few hours, Simi," I whisper to myself. "A few more hours, get through tonight with Hilary, then you can think about her."
And with that, I pushed all the thoughts of my mum to the back of my mind and locked them up. Then I inhaled, exhaled, and I felt better.
A whistle signaling the start of the movie went off and everyone started rushing back to their cars. I paid for what I got and carried them on a disposable tray to the car.
When I got back to the car, Hilary wasn't in front anymore, she was in the back seat getting comfortable. The front seats were collapsed already to give a clear view of the viewing screen from our windscreen.
"I was thinking we'd be more comfortable at the back," She explained even before I asked, her lips joined out in a cute pout that looked a lot more than cute to me. My eyes darted there before I could stop myself.
Get a grip, Simi. I chided myself, even though I knew that being in the back seat, in such an enclosed space with Hilary, the last thing I'd be doing is getting a grip of myself.
"Okay," I answered, "Hold this for me," I gave her the tray. She took it and placed it on the flat surface of one of the collapsed seats as I got into the car and shut the door.
It was after I got in that I realized she had gotten rid of her knitted sweater, leaving on a crop top I didn't even know she had on.
And as she moved to bring out the popcorn from the tray and place the soda inside the cup older, more of her skin got exposed. The string lights that were now on made a small illumination into the car that made her slightly visible to me.
It was incredibly hard not to look at something so flawless and beautiful.
I told you I won't get a grip of myself. Honestly, I don't even want to.
That's how much I want her... Unrestricted.
"Oh It's starting!" Her sudden exclamation of excitement jerked me out of my thoughts. I looked at the screen and saw that the movie was already playing.
"Come on," I gestured for her to come. She looked at me, eyebrows quirked slightly in question but her lips tugged in a smile.
"What?"
"I want you to be as close to me as possible, if that's okay with you," I said. From the small ray of light shining into the car, I could see the smile on her lip widen.
"Okay," She didn't protest in the slightest, moving close to me.
When I said I wanted her to be as close to me as possible, I actually meant side by side, with my arm around Hilary's shoulder as we enjoy the movie together. But it seemed like she had other plans, an entirely different interpretation to my request.
Hilary scooted closer to me, but not to sit down right beside me. She shifted herself till she was beside me, then hoisted herself up and moved till she was right in the space between my legs.
I immediately stretched my legs further apart to give her more space and she settled down right there, her back pressed to my chest, and her behind just right in front of my crotch, barely centimeters away from fully touching.
A sharp breath escaped my lips and my heart began to hammer against my chest erratically.
Instinctively, I wrapped my hands around her from behind, bringing her even closer to me. She hummed, leaning back till her head was touching my upper chest, almost leaning against my shoulder. My head was right beside hers, any small movement and my lips would touch her cheek.
Okay, this is a lot better than sitting side by side.
"This feels good,"
Her voice was in a barely audible whisper, breathless and small. I wasn't sure if she wanted me to hear her say that, but I did. And I couldn't agree more.
Halfway into the movie and I still had zero clue what the movie was about. I didn't even touch the popcorn and soda I got. All my focus was on the girl sitting so intimately close to me and every slight movement she made. Every slight movement had my heart thumping even louder and louder, threatening to burst out from my chest.
My entire body was on high alert because of her.
I was conscious of every little thing she was doing to me, especially the way she kept snuggling to get closer. She had her arms holding mine to herself, so tightly like she didn't want me to take them away. I could feel the tip of her finger breezily trailing down my clad forearm, kindling flames of passion and letting them flow through my blood streams till they were ingrained in my veins.
At some point, she even swept the tail of her cornrows over her other shoulder, leaving the one where my head was positioned exposed to me. Whether it was intentional or not, her skin was exposed to me, to my touch, and I tried to resist, struggled to resist... till I couldn't anymore.
I buried my face in that space and heard her inhale sharply when I inhaled her scent, and exhaled. I felt her shiver against me as my breath hit her skin, a shaky breath escaping her lips as she threw her head back against my shoulder, exposing even more skin to me.
She was doing it on purpose. She was giving me the go-ahead to be this intimate with her.
"You are not watching the movie," She whispered. I could hear the smile in her voice. I chuckled lowly against her skin.
"Are you?" I fired back, and she chuckled, muttering Touché under her breath. I smiled again, before pressing a kiss to the spot that connected her shoulder to her neck.
That earned a reaction from her. Something that sounded between a sigh and a moan escaped her lips, reverberating through me to the very core of my soul and causing every hair on my body to stand. All my senses stood on alert just by that sound.
I LIKE that sound.
I am the one that caused her to make that sound.
I Want to hear that sound again.
So I continued pressing soft kissing to the spot, trailing my lips across her shoulder blade, earning sighs and small sounds of pleasure from Hilary that kept shooting through my body like volts of electricity.
"Simi..." She whimpered softly, her voice trailing off as another sigh escaped her lips.
"Hmmn?" I hummed in response, pressing one kiss behind her ear that made her shiver against me. Was I doing too much?
"Do you want me to stop?" I whispered.
"No," Her reply came in a heartbeat.
I heeded her request and continued to kiss her there. She seemed to like it very much, a lot more than I did. I really liked the reactions I was getting from her just by small kisses on her neck. I liked the fact that I was the one making her feel all of that, giving her that level of intimacy.
But what I liked the most was the fact that she was the first person I'd ever been this intimate with.
And she was the one I wanted to share all future intimacies with.
Hilary.
"Simi," She called me, her voice breathless and shallow.
"Yeah?"
"Thank you for not staying away even when I asked you to," She said.
I could hear the immense gratitude in her tone as well as it was thick with emotions. Hearing her say that just brought back to my attention that we haven't spoken about our time apart, or the real reason why she wanted me to stay away.
Because I knew for certain that it wasn't because of what happened with Mrs. Khadija. And it sure as hell wasn't because I was going to hurt her. Even Hilary knew I would never do that to her.
"Hey," I began, untangling my arms from around her. "Look at me," I told her, moving till my back was against the door so that she'd have more space to turn and look at me, and still be close to me.
She did that, partially straddling me.
"I'm going to ask you something, and I want you to be honest with me," I said. Her lips quirked in a small smile.
"I'm always honest with you," She answered, teasing in her tone.
I laughed lightly before taking her hands in both of mine and simultaneously lacing our fingers together, a gesture I knew Hilary loved. I watched her eyes follow the movement of my fingers weaving between her because she looked at me.
"Why did you really want me to stay away? Why did you stay away from me?" I asked, my eyes searching hers in the mild darkness of the car. "Did you really believe that I'm going to hurt you the same way he did?"
I intentionally didn't mention his name. The last thing I wanted was to trigger her in any way. Besides I knew she'd understand who I was talking about.
She was quiet, unmovable for a minute... before she shook her head. I sighed in relief.
"I think that was just an excuse I gave myself to believe that I needed to stay away from you," She answered. "But deep down, I knew you wouldn't hurt me. You are never going to hurt me,"
She said that with so much certainty and belief in me that made my heart stir up in my chest.
"Then why did you stay away?" I asked, desperate to know.
"Because," She paused, taking a deep breath. "Because I thought you were better off without me, Simi," She answered, averting her gaze from me.
What? A frown creased over my forehead.
"Why would you think that?" I asked incredulously, trying to understand why on earth she'd believe that I was better off without her.
I am nothing without her.
"Because I felt I was too damaged for you," She answered, her head hanging down like she was... ashamed for thinking that. "I felt that you had so much baggage in your life, that you didn't need my screwed up self adding to–"
"Shhh..."
I shushed her before she could continue, removing my hand from hers to cup her face between my palms. I drew her face in and leaned in till I was touching my forehead to hers. I could feel her trembling beneath my palms and my heart launched out to her.
I can't believe she'd think that she was added baggage in my life when all she has ever been to me was the lifter of my burden. In just a few months of getting to know her, and getting this close to her, she has been the one to give me a reason to want to live, giving me a reason to look forward to waking up every day.
She is the Reason.
She has always been there for me in my time of need, why would I ever think of staying away from her when she needs me the most?
This is even the time I want her the most.
I want her now, more than ever, and I'm going to let her know that.
"Hilary,"
"Yeah?"
"I'm going to tell you something now that might probably scare you away... but I really hope it doesn't," I said to her. She pulled her head away from hers slightly so that she could look at me, confusion and slight fear twinkling in her eyes.
"Okay..." She whispered, urging me on.
I took in a deep breath.
"I know I told you earlier that I really like you," I began, and she nodded. "But I honestly don't think that's enough to properly qualify or quantify what I feel for you," I said, holding her gaze intently.
She let out a shaky breath, and that was all the go-ahead I needed to say it,
To say how I really feel.
"I Want You, Hilary,"
She gasped, her eyes widening. But I wasn't even close to done.
"I Want Us,"
"Simi..." She breathed.
Light reflected into the car for a bit, but I was able to catch a glimpse of her eyes glistening with unshed tears and a whole lot of profound emotions, all of which were good.
It urged me on.
"And I know," I continued, my thumb brushing the skin of her face, feeling her cheeks hit up beneath my fingers. "I know that a ship is the last thing you need right now because you need to recover fully, but I want you to know that as long as you want to wait, I'm waiting with you. I'm not going anywhere,"
I felt wetness on my hand and I knew that she was crying, but I wasn't worried. Nah, those were not tears I should be worried about.
"Listen to me,"
I took my hands from her face and wrapped them around her waist, drawing her close till she was fully straddling me, her legs around my waist and her full weight on my thigh. Hilary threw her hands around my neck, pushing herself up against me. With one of my legs hanging down and the other on the seat, the position was comfortable.
Very comfortable.
"I'm listening," She whispered, a small smile playing on her lips, urging me on.
"I want you to know that you are not bringing any baggage into my life, Hilary," I said. "And heaven knows you are far from screwed up," I told her, trailing my fingers against the skin of her back, just the way she liked it.
"You are a human being, Hilary. A human being that has gone through more than she's supposed to go through at your age but still managed to bounce back in such a beautiful and amazing way. You are strong Hilary, the strongest person I know, and your strength makes me want to be a better person for you... and I want to be a better person for you, Hilary if you will let me."
She choked out a sob-like laugh, nodding her head.
"And even if you think you are screwed up, which you are not," I trailed my hand over her back and pushed her impossibly closer to me, wanting to feel her body as close as possible against mine. "I still want you, Hilary. Screw up and all, Junk and all, you are perfect,"
I said everything right from the depth of my heart and the core of my soul, and I meant every word, hoping and praying within me that she'd see how serious I am.
And she did. From the smile that widened across her lips, I knew she did. A smile of my own stretched across my lips as I leaned forward and brushed my cheeks to hers, bringing my lips to her ear.
"You are not getting rid of me that easily," I whispered, before pressing a kiss to her cheek.
She sighed, dropping her head to my shoulder. I felt her quivering against me as she sob silently, and I let her, holding her close to me, proving to her that I wasn't going anywhere. I needed her to know that I wasn't going to leave her.
That's how much she mattered to me.
"You make me happy," She whispered against my shoulder, and I sighed, tightening my arms around her.
"Nah... you are the one that makes me happy," I told her. "And I'm going to return the favor, Hilary," I brought her head up so that I could look at her as I said my promise.
"I'm going to make you happy for as long as I can," I promised, brushing my knuckles through her face to clean her tears. Hilary smiled, leaning into my touch.
"You are already making me happy, Simi," She whispered.
My lips stretched further in a smile of my own before I curved my hand at the back of her neck and drew her head in, pressing a kiss to her forehead. I trailed my lips down to kiss her eyes, her fluttering then close as my lips touched. I kissed the tip of her nose too, eliciting a slight giggle from her.
Then, I allowed my lips to trail down, my lips brushing hers slightly before I moved to the corner of her mouth, dangerously and intentionally close to her lips, and kissed her there. She sighed in satisfaction, leaning into me.
At that moment, with the movie and every other thing going on around us forgotten, all my worries and concerns evaporated into thin air and I felt Whole.
Hilary made me feel whole.
And at that point, nothing else mattered but her. Nothing else made sense but her.
She became the center of my World.
𝐀/𝐍
Simi with the words!
Just when I thought Chima was the only one that had sweet mouth, Simi decided to show me that he also knows his chops. And Omo! He knows it wella.
Our Silary Ship is sailing on a steady! He said he WANTS her😭🔥❤️. Someone should come and want me too o. I want to be wanted🥺.
Honestly, Simi and Hilary are just beautiful and cute on so many levels. I love the fact that they understand each other without even speaking too much. They are just easing their way through their feelings and it's beautiful🥺❤️.
It just remains for them to kiss. Hopefully, that will be soon😌.
Simi Issa low-key bad guy🌚. Do you agree?
Who has missed Semeeha😂? Don't worry, you'll see her in the next update, which will come... I don't know when it will come. Hopefully sometime next week. Remember, no pressure.
Till then, you know the drill. Kisses 😘💋.