(An: haven't checked the spelling so might be something wrong)
Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering carrying a large box, Monica is mopping the ceiling and Gabby is sitting at the table drinking some water.
Phoebe: Hey!
Monica and Gabriella: Hey.
Phoebe: Hey, why are you mopping your ceiling?
Monica: Oh, there's banana on it.
Phoebe: Wow, I have the spirit of an old Indian woman living in mine.
Monica: So then you know? (Phoebe nods her head)
Phoebe: The mailman was downstairs, so I brought up your mail.
Monica: Oh, good. Thanks.
Phoebe: Now what is Fabutec?
Monica: Okay, all right don't judge me too much. Okay? Um, but I saw this info-mercial, and um, I swear to you I have never-ever bought anything on TV before, except for this mop. But there was this stuff on leg waxing, it just, it looked so amazing....
Phoebe: Waxine!!
Monica: Yes! Have you seen it?
Phoebe and Gabriella: Oh, it's incredible!
Phoebe: I so want to be a Waxine girl.
Monica: I know!!
Phoebe: God. Do you really think it doesn't hurt? 'Cause how can they do that?
Monica: Hello! Organic substances recently discovered in the depths of the rainforest!
Phoebe: They have the best stuff in there.
...
Monica's Bedroom, Monica, Gabriella and Phoebe are waxing their legs
Phoebe: (reading from the instructions) After applying the Waxine and linen strips to leg number one,
Monica: Did that!
Phoebe: Grasp one of the linen strips by its 'easy grab tab' and pull it off in one quick pain free motion.
Monica: Okay. (Does so.) Ow!!!!! Ow-oh-oh!
Gabriella: Was it not pain-free?
Monica: No. It was painful. Oh my God , they should call it Pain-zine, now with a little wax.
Phoebe: Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial don't seem to think it's that bad.
Monica: That's because their nerves are probably deadened from being so stupid. But hey, y'know if you guys don't believe me, please, by my guest.
Phoebe and Gabriella: (Removing one of the strips) Ow-ow-ow-ow!
Phoebe: Oh my God!!!
Monica: Now, are you glad we didn't start with the bikini strips?
...
Still in monicas bedroom Gabriella, Monica and Phoebe are removing the rest of their wax strips.
Monica: Ow!
Phoebe: Oh!!
Gabriella: Ow!! Ow!!
Phoebe: Ow!!!
Gabriella, Monica and Phoebe: Ow!!!!!!! Ow-ow-ow-ow!
(Hearing the screaming Chandler and Joey rush in. Joey has a pan, Chandler has a tea kettle.)
Phoebe: We're all right.
Monica: It's okay, it's okay.
Gabriella: We're all right. We were just waxing our legs.
Chandler: Off?!!
Phoebe: For your information, this happens to be a pain like no man will ever experience.
Chandler: Yeah, well I don't think you can make that statement, unless you've been kicked in an area that God only meant to be treated nicely.
Joey: Yeah, I-I think that women just have a lower threshold of pain than men, that's all. I mean, come on, it's just a little wax.
Gabriella: Oh yeah, come here. (Puts a little wax on Joey's arm and puts a strip on it.)
Chandler: Oh, that's mature.
Joey: Okay, fine, so now what, I just pull it off?
Gabriella: Uh-huh.
Monica: That's right.
(Joey laughs, pulls it off, then does a high-pitched whine.)
(apartment door slams shut and quickly opens again)
Ross: Come on, Rachel, come on! Talk to me! Please!!
In Monica's bedroom, Chandler slowly closes the door, and we hear Rachel from the living room.
Rachel: I can't talk to you. I can't even look at you right now!
Monica: What?
Chandler: Nothing, nothing.
Monica: (going over to listen at the door) Rachel said everything was okay.
Phoebe: (to Joey) What, what are they talking about?
Ross: Rachel?
Rachel: Just get away from me!
Ross: No, it was a mistake! I made a mistake! Okay?
Rachel: A mistake?! What were you trying to put it in? Her purse?!
Phoebe: Whe-where did he put it?!
Rachel: Ross, you had sex with another woman!
(Monica, Gabby and Phoebe gasp.)
Gabriella: Oh my God.
Phoebe: Oh, I knew something had to be wrong, because my fingernails did not grow at all yesterday.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I guess they had a fight, and he got drunk....
Monica: Oh!! (hits Chandler and Joey in the head) You guys knew about this and you didn't tell us?!
Chandler: (to Joey) He has sex, and we get hit in our heads.
Rachel: Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here!
Ross: No!!
Rachel: Just get out! Now!!
Ross: No!! No!! I wanna stay. I wanna talk about this.
Rachel: Okay! All right! How was she?
Chandler: Uh-oh.
Ross: What?
Rachel: Was she good?
Joey: Don't answer that.
Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, let's talk about it!! How was she?
Ross: She was...
Joey: Awful! Horrible!
Chandler: She was not good. Not good.
Joey: She was nothing compared to you.
Ross: She, she was different.
Joey: Ewwwww!
Chandler: Uh-oh.
Rachel: Good different?
Ross: Nobody likes change. (Rachel picks up a newspaper and starts hitting him with it.)
Ross: What? Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Phoebe: Should we do something?
Chandler: Yeah, never cheat on Rachel.
Ross: I'm sorry, okay, I'm sorry. I wa-I was disgusted with myself, and this morning I was so, I was so upset and then I got your message and I was so happy, and all I wanted was to get her out of my apartment as fast as possible.
Rachel: Whoa!! Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. What time did your little friend leave? (Ross can't answer that) Oh my God. She was there? She was still there? She was in there, when I was in there?! (Ross hands Rachel back the newspaper, and she starts hitting him with it again.)
Ross: Listen. Oh hey, hey, the important thing was that she meant, she meant nothing to me!
Rachel: And yet she was worth jeopardising our relationship!! (She throws the paper at him, misses and hits Monica's door, they all jump back at the sound.)
Ross: Look, I didn't think there was a relationship to jeopardise. I thought we were broken up.
Rachel: We were on a break!
Ross: That, for all I knew would, could last forever. That to me is a break-up.
Rachel: You think you're gonna get out of this on a technicality?
Ross: Look, I'm not trying to get out of anything, okay. I thought our relationship was dead!
Rachel: Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!
Joey: Y'know what, I don't think we should listen to this anymore. (Goes to open the door)
Gabriella: (stopping him) What, what are you doing? You can't go out there.
Joey: Why not?! (to Gabby) I'm hungry.
Monica: Because they'll know we've been listening.
Rachel: God! And to have to hear about it from Gunther!!
Ross: Come on! Like I wanted him to tell you, I ran all over the place trying to make sure that didn't happen!
Rachel: Oh, that is so sweet. I think I'm falling in love with you all over again.
Chandler: Y'know what, I think we can go out there. I mean they have more important things to worry about.
Joey: Yeah, we'll be fine.
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
Chandler: (handing Monica the wax) Wax the door shut, we're never leaving, ever.
Gabriella: Joey.. what did you do!
Joey I'm sorry baby i just....
Gabriella: We'll talk about it later!
...
Later, Phoebe is on the phone, they're all still trapped in Monica's bedroom.
Phoebe: Hi, it's Phoebe. Listen someone's gonna have to take my 9:00 with Mr. Rehack, 'cause it's like 9:15 now, and I'm not there.
Ross: Don't you realise none of this would've ever happened if I didn't think at that same moment you weren't having sex with Mark?
Rachel: All right. Let's say I had slept with Mark. Would you have been able to forgive me?
Ross: (pause) Yes I would. Rachel: You'd be okay if you knew that Mark had kissed me, and been naked with me, and made love to me?
Ross: (less sure) Yes. Rachel: You knew that our hot, sweaty, writhing bodies were....
Ross: (covering his ears and screaming) La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Okay, okay, yeah, I would have been devastated but, I would still want to be with you. Because it's, I mean it's you.
All: Ohhhhh! [Later, Ross and Rachel are sitting in the kitchen.]
Ross: What? Come on Rach, tell me what you're thinking?
Rachel: I'm thinking, I'm gonna order a pizza.
Ross: Order a pizza like, 'I forgive you?' (She turns around and glares at him, he turns away.)
Joey: Oh man, pizza? I like pizza. (makes like he is trying to send a telepathic message to Rachel) Put olives on the pizza.
Phoebe: We could eat the wax! It's organic.
Chandler: Oh great, food with hair on it.
Phoebe: No, not the used wax.
Chandler: Because that would be crazy?
Ross: Hey, can I, can I get in on that? Because I'm kinda hungry myself.
Rachel: Fine. (on phone) Hi! Yes, I'd like to order a large pizza.
Ross: No anchovies.
Rachel: With ah, extra anchovies.
Ross: That's okay, I'll just pick 'em off.
Rachel: Yeah, and could you please chop some up and just put it right there in the sauce?
...
Later, they are finishing up the pizza, there's one piece left.
Ross: You can have the last piece, if you want.
Rachel: Well, I should think so. You slept with someone.
Meanwhile in Monica's bedroom, they're all eating the wax in Monica's bed. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting next to each other Monica is next to them lying down with her feet on the headboard while Joey sits on the other side with Gabby in his arms.
Phoebe: They're gonna get through this, aren't they?
Chandler: Yeah, come on, it's Ross and Rachel, they've got too.
Monica: What if they don't? (Long pause.)
Joey: You think I need a new walk?
Chandler: What?
Joey: Well y'know, I've been walking the same way since high school. Y'know, y'know how some guys they walk into a room and everybody takes notice. I think I need a 'take notice' walk.
Chandler: Are you actually saying these words?
...
Ross: What, now you're not even taking to me? Look Rachel, I-I'm sorry, okay, I'm sorry, I was out of my mind. I thought I'd lost you, I didn't know what to do. Come on! Come on, how insane must I have been to do something like this? Huh? I-I don't cheat right, I, that's not me, I'm not Joey before he met Gabby!
Joey: Whoa-ho-ho!
Gabriella: well it's true..
Joey: Yeah, okay.
Monica: Hey. It's three in the morning. They don't know that I've come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
Phoebe: Yeah, y'know, people can be so self-involved.
Ross: Y'know what, y'know what, I'm-I'm not the one that wanted that, that break, okay. You're the one that bailed on us. You're the one that, that ran when things got just a little rough!
Rachel: That's....
Ross: That's what?!
Rachel: That is neither here nor there.
Ross: Okay, well here we are. Now we're in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And I'm sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I can't. (Gabby, Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just can't see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.
Rachel: No Ross!! Don't! You can't just kiss me and think you're gonna make it all go away, okay? It doesn't work that way. It doesn't just make it better. Okay?
Ross: Okay, okay, okay. Rachel: (softly) I think you should go.
Ross: What?
Rachel: (softly) I really think you need to go now.
Ross: Okay, okay. This morning you said there was nothing so big that we couldn't work past it together...
Rachel: Yeah, what the hell did I know!
Ross: Look, look, there's got to be a way we can work past this. Okay, I can't imagine, I can't imagine my life without you. (Both of them are starting to cry.) Without, without these arms, and your face, and this heart. Your good heart Rach, and, and....
Rachel: (crying) No. I can't, you're a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just can't stop picturing with her, I can't, it doesn't matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. It's just changed, everything. Forever.
(the rest of them are now crying.)
Ross: (crying) Yeah, but this can't be it, I mean.
(Pause)
Rachel: Then how come it is?
...
Monica's bedroom.
Phoebe: They've been quiet for a long time.
Joey: Maybe she killed him?
Chandler: Let's go.
Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave goodbye, and start to walk quietly out, as Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and bobbing his shoulders as he goes.
Chandler: (to Joey) Is that your new walk?
Joey: (whispering) No, I really have to pee.
...
Joey and Gabbys apartment
Gabriella: You know I'm mad at you for telling Ross not to tell Rachel he cheated but I really need you tonight so you can sleep on the couch tomorrow.
Joey: I'm sorry baby, it just came out. I mean I really don't know what to do in relationships. I mean I'm new to it all but I know i will never cheat on you.
Gabriella: I love you baby
Joey: love you more
—------------------------------------------
AN: Hey guys! New chapter! I know that Gabby wasn't really involved in this chapter but I felt like this episode is important for the whole storyline. In both the series and this "book".
the next one is gonna be TOW the ski trip