I tried. I fucking tried. For months, I'd beaten back my wolf, much to his disgust and displeasure. As the weeks wore on, he became bolder, and then two months in, he began fighting me for dominance, trying to force my hand, to finally claim my Howl the way an Alpha should.
Pups, pups, pups.
He'd chant that at me, knowing it was my weakness, knowing as Alpha, the need to breed my Howl was overwhelming and the desire to see her filled with my pups was almost as necessary as the air I needed to breathe. As Alpha, I settled the pack members with my touch, but now that I had found my Howl and Taken her Blood, nothing would settle me until I had given her my child.
"Be prepared," my father had warned me not long before I turned twenty-one. "It's a compulsion like no other. You think you're prepared for your Howl; you think you understand how you'll feel, but you do not. Your Howl will become your obsession and breeding her your overriding objective in life until you succeed."
He'd been right. But I felt even more strongly that Neera needed time, and I gave us the five months until our new house would be completed to move ahead. My little Howl, after what she'd seen and heard and experienced, definitely needed some time.
Since no one in the pack had ever dated a Destined One before, I had no one to ask for advice, so I Googled romantic shit to do for your girl and went from there. We did picnics by a stream, rowing boats on one of the Aibek lakes, early morning hikes to watch the sunrise, sitting side-by-side on a bench by a lake to watch the sunset, dinner out at restaurants, and evenings in together. Watching Neera enjoy our times together settled me to some extent, but the fucking wolf was always in my ear.
Push her down on the blanket. Shove your sandwich in her basket and show her a real picnic.
Rock the boat. Rock it!
Watch the sunrise over her back. Do it!
Every day, I made sure to bring her a little something to show her I'd listened to her the day before.
Some days, it was chocolate-covered strawberries.
Some days, it was a new nail polish color she'd mentioned.
Other days, it was fresh blueberries and wildflowers.
On some other days, I would sit and brush that gorgeous hair of hers for a long, long time, then put aside the brush and lift the strands in my hands and let them fall around her shoulders.
Wrap it in your fist and show her why long hair can be fun. Use the brush on her ass --
But all those weeks and months, Neera and I talked, most of all. By tacit agreement, we didn't reach through the bond for the other's thoughts and feelings so we had to communicate in a way no other Alpha and Howl ever had before. For once, our human natures were building a relationship first, not after we came together.
I liked best those evenings with her on her couch, where we held hands or she cuddled into me and I pulled her onto my lap so I could just breathe her in, each inhale soothing a bit of the pain we had gone through to get to this moment.
When I couldn't take the closeness anymore without threatening to break the promise I made her, I'd kiss her good night and reluctantly leave her place. Nodding to the guard outside her door, I'd shift the minute she closed and locked the door behind me and run until I was so exhausted, I dragged my tail back to the Den where I kept a room. Then I might get a few hours of sleep until my wolf woke me and we'd agree it'd been too many hours since we'd last seen our Howl.
It was a special time that was both frustrating and eye-opening. Each day I spent with my little Howl, each word from her mouth that I treasured like gold, each fleeting touch from her fingertips built and built in my heart until I knew that I not only desired her as my Destined One -- my Howl -- but I loved her as a woman and respected her as a partner who would stand beside me for life.
So fuck her already!
My wolf was rapidly losing patience with me, so much so that I found myself currently pressing Neera against her apartment door, my hand wrapped around her throat looking right into her eyes.
I knew she saw my wolf peeking out.
And from the way her eyes widened, she liked it.
Then she uttered the one word that would push us past the point of no return.
"Alpha."
One word. One desperate word.
It hung in the air between us, breathless, needy and hungry, which meant she was breathless and needy and hungry.
And even more, it was submissive. My little Howl wanted me to dominate her, to make her submit to me, and there was no fucking way I could ignore that unspoken plea.
I felt her pulse racing under my fingertips and I wanted to replace my fingers with my teeth and force her to the ground and rip her pants off and shove my throbbing, aching cock into her --
I drew in a sharp breath. This was going to be over before it barely started if I didn't get my fucking wolf under control.
I tightened my grip on her neck just enough to make her eyes widen, then I leaned in close, pressing my lips to her ear.
"Are you going to be my good girl, little Howl? Are you going to let me do whatever I want to you?"
I could feel her swallow against my hand as she nodded.
"Words, Neera. Tell me in words. Tell me."
"I'm going to be your good girl...Alpha."
Titanium was harder than steel, and even then I was pretty fucking sure my dick was harder than that at this point. I had to make our first time together special, memorable, not some animalistic mating that would end with me throwing her to the ground on all fours and pounding into her until my seed was pouring into her. We'd get there, that was unavoidable, but I wanted to start out slower tonight.
Shit. I needed my motherfucking head examined.
Stepping back from Neera, I picked her up by the waist and spun her around so she was still facing me, but my back was now to the door.
"Go to your room, baby. I'm holding on by a thread here, so don't turn your back to me or this won't be what I'm trying so hard to give you."
Neera held my eyes and backed up one step.
Then two.
And then she fucking turned her back on me and ran.
Game. Over.
In one leap, I was on her, grabbing her around the waist, taking her to the ground, but turning so I absorbed the fall. Quickly flipping her over so she was on her back, I saw those beautiful, plush lips smiling coyly at me.
She had me right where she wanted me -- over her -- and I had her right where I wanted her -- under me.
Grabbing her hands, I slammed them down on the floor above her head, one hand holding both her wrists together. My mouth was on hers before she could say a word, tongues tangling, teeth nipping and biting, as I tore at our clothes with my free hand, claws out, until we were both naked.
When a starving man is offered a feast, he doesn't even know where to start. As I looked down at Neera's tits, her hips and thighs and finally at that juicy cunt that was already dripping with need for me -- for her Alpha -- I was ready to descend on her like a fucking animal.
Slow down.
I palmed her breast with one hand, thumbing her nipple while my mouth worked its way down her neck, biting hard when she tried to move her hands from my grip.
"Leave them there," I warned her, barely recognizing the harsh and primal voice as my own.
She did as told, and to reward her, I took her nipple into my mouth, tugging on it with my teeth then nipping just hard enough to make her back arch off the floor as she whimpered.
Submitting.
I moved my mouth from one breast to the other, biting, soothing, licking, tugging her little nipples on repeat until she was mindless, writhing under me, her pussy instinctively searching for my cock.
Not yet.
Continuing to torment her tits with my mouth, I covered her pussy with my hand, drenching my palm with her juices.
Lifting my head, I locked my eyes on hers, brought my hand to my mouth and inhaled while she watched me lick my hand.
"Your scent intoxicates me," I said, "And your taste makes your Alpha hungry."
I kissed my way down her belly to her mound, and pressed a kiss to her clit, just to hear her gasp and feel her arch, wanting my mouth on her.
I bit her thigh sharply. "Wait."
That just seemed to inflame her more and she began to plead with me. "Please," my Howl begged, her voice breathless. I loved the need and desire that indicated and wanted to pull more of that sound from her.
So I kissed that soaked cunt, wanting to just bury my face in her wetness, drown myself in her addictive scent, but I held myself back and began lapping lightly at her slit, enough so she noticed but not enough to do anything but tease. I kept at it until she began whimpering, and I had to hold her hips down so she couldn't force my tongue deeper.
When I felt her hands in my hair, I again bit Neera on her thigh, and she jumped.
"Keep your hands above your head," I ordered her. She hesitated, and I nipped at her thigh again. "Now, little Howl, or I stop."
That was a fucking lie -- I couldn't stop now if my life depended on it, but the threat seemed to work, and I looked up Neera's body to see her hands stretched above her head, back arched, tits up, nipples still glistening from my mouth's ministrations.
I spread her legs apart and my mouth began working that hot pussy, trying to lick every bit of desire from her. My thumbs moved her lips apart as I licked her deeper and deeper, and then I moved slightly to suck on her clit as I curled one finger inside of her until she began moaning my name.
Now.
I ripped my mouth away from my frantic Howl and in one move flipped her over so she was on all fours. I knelt behind her, using one hand to press the head of my cock at the entrance of her pussy. With the other hand, I gripped the back of her neck, forcing her head down to the carpet, which presented her pussy to me in a way that made me want to howl.
"Tell me who you belong to," I commanded her in a voice more wolf than human.
"To you," she responded immediately. "To my Alpha." So breathless.
"Good girl," I said and then immediately rewarded her by slamming my cock into her fully, relishing Neera's gasp of pleasure and pain.
Removing my hand from her neck, I grasped her hips in my hands and began pounding into her delicious cunt that I'd denied myself for so long. Every thrust, I seated myself into her fully, then withdrew until just the tip of my cock was inside her...just to slam back into her.
Over and over, until she was almost sobbing, begging me to make her come, her hands grasping at the floor. Grabbing a handful of her hair, I pulled back until she was up on her knees, and I continued fucking her, one hand holding her breast to hold her in place and the other moving to stroke her clit, slicking it with her wetness as I continued fucking into her.
Her pussy gripped my dick like a fucking vice and when I felt my balls tighten, felt that tingling at the base of my spine, I knew I was close.
"Come for me, Neera," I whispered in her ear.
And my good girl fucking exploded on my say-so with a sharp cry, shuddering and sobbing my name, held tight in my arms.
Unable to resist my Howl's pleasure rippling around my cock, I came and came hard, pouring my seed into her, filling her up until our combined pleasure was dripping onto my balls, her thighs.
I pressed my mouth to her neck as we waited for our breathing to even out, and I never wanted to let her go.
But I knew I had one thing left to do to wipe any lingering memories from her mind.
I withdrew my cock from her, and turned her to face me, still on our knees.
"Lick me clean," I said and she froze.
I cupped her jaw and looked into her eyes.
"Yes," I told her softly but firmly. "This is between us. Night and Neera and nobody else. I won't have that lingering to torment you, little Howl. I won't stand for something like that between us. I want you to own this, own every part of me. I want you to take it back and make it yours."
I felt her search the bond.
I pressed a kiss to her lips. "You already own my heart, little Howl. Now I want you to take it all and claim it as your own."
And fuck me running, she lowered her mouth to my cock and took back her power.