I woke up the next morning feeling as if I had just been hit by a truck. My head was pounding, stomach flipping, and my throat was like sand paper.
"This is why I don't drink any more." I muttered into the pillow. I heard a chuckle from the other side of the bed. Suddenly an arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me into his chest.
I felt his skin on mine and I jumped. My heart started racing as I sat up to look over the room.
"Why the hell are my clothes off." I asked. He sat up as well wincing and rubbing his eyes. "Why the hell are your clothes off?" I panicked and tried to remember what happened the previous night.
"Calm down." He rubbed my back. "We didn't have sex." He laid back down and tried to pull me back to him.
"What did happen Zac?" I thought back. Getting sick, Alex calling me, but nothing else.
"Just fooled around a bit." I waited for him to explain. "Second base. Why are you so uptight, don't you trust me?"
"What do you consider second base?"
"First; make out. Second; hands. Third; mouths. And then you know the rest." He chuckled. I let out a sigh and laid back down. It started to come back to me in snip its. "Why are you freaking out? I'm your boyfriend. That's normal stuff that happens in a relationship. We were both drunk and had a little fun" He pulled me into his chest.
"It's just I didn't remember. Plus you're a guy, anything and everything makes you wanna bang." He burst out laughing and I winced at the volume.
"I do have standards babe. And bang? Really?"
I was freakin out inside. I was taught growing up, to wait for marriage until taking that step with someone. It sounds dumb considering the century we live in, but I wanted to be with someone I loved and trusted with all my heart ,before I made that decision. I wanted it to be special, even if it 'wasn't a big deal'.
It didn't help that I hated the idea of someone other than myself seeing my body. It freaked me out. I was not skinny. No one but my mom had seen me naked. I purposely avoided bathing suits, especially bikinis, and I wore jeans most of the year.
"What are you thinking about?" He asked and worked his fingers through my hair.
"Nothing."
"Liar."
"Shit!" I jumped up and grabbed my phone off the bedside table. I looked at the time and jumped out of the bed.
"What are you doing?" He asked. I felt his eyes on me and I tried to cover up while I tried to find my clothes. I felt hands grab my hips.
He turned me around and pulled me closer to him. He was sitting at the edge of the bed and his eyes roamed over my body. I tried to cover my bare stomach, but he held me firmly.
"Stop trying to cover yourself. You are so beautiful." His fingers rubbed circles into my hip and I bit the inside of my cheek. "You don't have to hide from me." He pulled me into him and buried his head in my chest. "I love you Sam." I froze. I didn't know what to do or what to say. "You don't have to say it back right now but I want you to know that."
"You don't mean that." He pulled me on his lap in response.
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it." He took my face in hands and kissed me. "You are beautiful and sexy and I love you. It is a little fast paced, but that doesn't make it less true. Don't let anyone tell you different." He stroked my cheek. "Okay?" I nodded.
After a couple moments of silence I got up. "I have to go. I have a million voice mails from my brothers. I have to get home. " I started throwing my clothes on and getting my stuff together.
"I'll give you a ride." He got up from his spot where he was watching me, and put his clothes on. "Now that I've said the big L word, no other guy can look at you, let alone touch you without knowing your mine, literally." He joked.
"What do you mean 'literally'?" I asked. He burst out laughing and scrolled his eyes over my chest in amusement. "Zac?" I warned and walked to the bathroom. "You asshole!" I screamed and his laughter got louder.
My jaw dropped as I brought my hand up and rubbed along the massive bruising on my neck and chest.
"I was just marking my territory." He leaned on the doorframe. "You seemed to enjoy it."
"Zac!" I whined. "How the hell am I supposed to cover this up? My brothers already think you assault or perv on people for a living." I rubbed at the massive hickeys to try and make them disappear, but with no luck.
"Make up?" I glared. "Well it is pretty much winter so it's not that hard to cover up. I just wanted the guys at school and everywhere else to know you are mine." He wrapped his arms around my chest.
"So you expect me to wear scarves and crew necks for the next couple of weeks?" I swatted at him.
"Well that would save me from punching multiple guys in the face for even glancing in your direction."
"Guys don't pay attention to me." I stated.
"Babe, you are so naive."
"Where the hell have you been?" I rubbed my head in pain.
"Please don't yell." I cringed.
"And you're drunk." Alex stated.
"No, I was drunk last night." He laughed with sarcasm. "You had no problem last year with the parties we went to."
"What was our rule when we went to parties last year?" He wasn't yelling anymore.
"We go together or not at all." I recited.
"And why was that?"
"So neither of us did anything stupid."
"Exactly."
"I'm sorry Alex. I was just angry." I sighed. "It's been a long week and I don't like being under attack." He was about to say something but I stopped him. "I'm going to go take a shower." I started to walk up the stairs.
"Hey Sam?" I turned back to look at him. "I will always be there to tell you, you are being a stubborn bitch." I laughed, shook my head, and continued on my way.
"Oh I know Alex."
"Come in." I walked in to see Chris sitting on his bed with textbooks and binders spread all over the place. He looked up and smiled at me. "Hey Sam." He piled his work up and patted the space beside him. I went and sat as he instructed.
We were quiet for a while. "I'm sorry about last night. I was angry and tired."
"What's really going on?" I sat there not answering. "Sam?"
"It's nothing really. Sorting through moms stuff wore me down."
"Come on Sam, I rarely see you and I know there is more to it the that. I don't like when you are depressed."
"I just miss-" I took a breath. "A lot of things." He looked at me blankly. "It's fine honestly. Ill make it through, I always do."
"I thought we all learned a lesson the last time we tried to solve our problems on our own."
I was fourteen when we lost my mom and brother in the accident. Just started high school. Chris was already going through the 'rebellious' stage before the accident, so after the accident he went off the deep end.
He had just gone to college to be a paramedic out of town, but he dropped out to be our legal guardian. He went through a lot. He came home drunk on multiple occasions, he had multiple girls that he was hooking up with, and then there were the drugs. Not safe drugs like what I got into but; cocaine, LSD, and of course weed. He said he tried meth once, but never went back. Being an attractive and out going guy he made a lot friends, some good, but most bad.
Don't get me wrong. He was a good brother, always was. He was there when I needed him, protected me, let me cry to him for the stupidest things, but he made a mess of his life for a period of time.
There were multiple times when I got calls from his friends telling me to pick him up because he had passed out. So Alex and I would walk over to the party he was, and we would bring him back. I was usually stuck with his puking ass because I was useful when it came to first aid, while Alex would turn green himself.
Once Chris figured out that his little sister taking care of him while he had alcohol poisoning was not a good big brother moment, he started cleaning up.
"Sam? Just tell me what's bothering you. I won't judge. You know me."
"It's nothing like that. I just miss mom, I miss being a kid. I miss living under somewhat normal circumstances. I miss you being around even though you think you can boss me around." He laughed.
"Why didn't you just tell me you were having a rough time?"
"Do you not know me?"
"Oh my baby sister is so stubborn."
"Plus I didn't want to put anything else on your plate. You are dealing with enough." He wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
"That should never be a reason. You two are my priorities, everything else will work out in time." I rested my head on his shoulder. "You know I love you right?" I nodded. "You know I want what's best for you right?" I nodded again. "Good." He rubbed my arm. "I want you to be careful Sam. I know guys and what they want. Most will say whatever they think will win over a girl. I don't want him breaking your heart. Those are the kinds of wounds that don't usually heal all that well. I hurt a lot of people and I would hate you to be added to his list of girls he's discarded."
I took in his words and didn't say anything. I wanted to. I wanted to tell him all the things I knew were different about Zac, but I didn't. Instead I closed my fat mouth and listened to what he had to say.
"I'm guessing you need to sleep off that hang over of yours." I moaned just at the mention of my pounding head and upset stomach. "No more lectures from me, go take a nap little girl." He laughed and I climbed of his bed.
"Thanks."
"For what?"
"Being my big brother." He smiled
"My pleasure." I began to walk out of his room before he stopped me. "Oh and Sam, you aren't 18 yet which means I am still the legal guardian, and I can boss you around all I want." I rolled my eyes. "House rules mentioned yesterday still stand." I nodded and left before I could make a comment or start a fight in which I would regret.
"I have a question." Alex stated as we watched the end credits of Ocean's Eleven, not my choice, roll across the screen.
"Okay." Chris and I both said in unison.
"Would it be possible for Matt to have a room in the new apartment we find? And before you interrupt, let me explain my reasoning. His mom is in the hospital again and this time they think it's for good. He's stuck at the house on his own. It's falling apart, he can't afford it and I think it would be good for him to have roommates."
"He's on his own?" Chris asked.
"What's wrong with his mom?" I asked.
"She has cancer. It's pretty far along now. If we could find a loft or something, I'd even be willing to share a room."
"Have you talked to him about this yet?" Chris asked.
"No I thought I should ask you guys first."
"I'm okay with it." I said.
"Well let's talk to him first and then we can adjust characteristics of the place to accommodate everyone's needs."
"Invite him over for dinner, Ill cook since its a hazard to our health if either one of you are in the kitchen." I laughed but they both glared.
I stood up as they both looked at each other with amusement. "You don't insult our cooking without consequences." They started to walked towards me together.
I started to backed up and raised my hands in surrender. "Come on. We are all adults here." They stalked closer with evil smirks on their faces. "Please don't do this." My back was almost against the wall and I didn't have much space to get away so I tried to run around them. Unsuccessfully I might add.
Arms wrapped around my waist and threw me on the couch. I barely had time to take in a breath before Alex sat down on my stomach and Chris was tickling me without mercy.
"Stop!" I screamed through painful giggles. The boys knew exactly where I was ticklish and used it to their advantage. My thighs, my ribs, and under my chin.
"Tell us you're sorry."
"I'm sorry." I screamed.
"Tell us how amazing our cooking is!"
"Don't push it! I'm not going to lie!" Alex's weight on my stomach was making it hard to breath, not to mention the laughing that was taking up most my air.
"Say it!"
"No!"
"Say it!"
"Fine, your cooking is amazing." Alex got off me and they both hovered. I got up and ran for the kitchen. "If those eating, are zombies, and toxic substances won't affect their already decaying stomachs!" I laughed and started on supper.
"So I guess Sunday is officially dinner party night?" Chris asked.
"Only cause you're home." I smiled and continued to make the chicken.
Alex and Matt walked into the kitchen as I was taking a drink of water. My headache hadn't been relieved much since that morning.
"Hey Sam."
"Hi Matt." Matt was one of the funniest people I had met. He always had a witty comeback for everything. There was this little sparkle in his eye that made me smile instantly. He was comfortable in his own skin so as a result people were comfortable with him.
"Thanks for making dinner again. We know how useless Alex is in the kitchen." Everyone laughed. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
"Nope almost done." I turned to switch the stove off when I felt fingers grip my chin.
"What the hell is on your neck?" Alex was gripping my chin, but I jumped away. "Sam?"
"What?" I asked innocently.
"Oh I hate when my vacuum attacks me. I feel your pain Sam." I thanked Matt with my eyes for making the uncomfortable silence, less uncomfortable. The humour took the tension out of the air ever so slightly, but it didn't take the annoyance Alex was sending me with his eyes. I avoided eye contact and acted innocent.
"Harmless." I added as we made our way to the table.
Dinner was much better than the week before. There was no tension, excluding the hickey issue, and everyone was dying of laughter before dessert even came out.
"So Matt, you probably know by now that we are trying to sell the house and get something smaller, more affordable." Chris explained.
"I think it's a good idea. Then Sam doesn't have to babysit a house and a child." He winked at me and I laughed.
"Hey I thought you were on my side!" Alex whined.
"Anyways," Chris sent a playful glare at Alex. "We were wondering if you would be interested in considering moving in with us?"
"Since we are already moving, we can find a place that your fat ass can fit in as well." Alex added. I smacked him in the back of the head. "Hey!"
"Don't be a jerk." I scolded. "What we are trying to say is that since you are on your own, and we are on our own already looking for a place to stay, maybe you would be interested in being our room mate?"
He was quiet for a little while, taking in the information. "Don't give us an answer right now buddy. Think about it, talk to your mom. We know you just moved but consider it anyways." Chris encouraged.
"Hey Matt?" I questioned as I handed him a dish to dry and put away. "Could you tell me about your mom?"
I never really met Matt's parents growing up. His dad was never home and his mom was rarely brought up in conversation. He stayed at our place a lot when we were little. I remembered over hearing someone speak about substance abuse in his family, but other than that, I didn't really have a clue.
"We weren't always close. Well we were never close until a couple years ago." He chuckled quietly. "She finally sobered up and become this amazing woman. Then she was diagnosed about three years ago. I guess I don't like thinking about her before she was clean because she was a completely different person back then." His eyes were lost far back in memories.
We continued to finish the dishes in peace. "Why is it only you and her?" I spoke without thinking and instantly felt bad. "I'm sorry, probably none of my business." I looked over at him and he was just as calm as ever.
"My dad had a bunch of kids from different women. I have a couple older brothers wondering around places, and I had an older sister. Dad is down south somewhere. My sister and I were the only ones from both my mom and dad."
"Well where is she?"
"She died six years ago."
"Oh my god, I am so sorry. I shouldn't have asked." Curiosity and my big freaking mouth always ran away without me.
"Don't apologize Sam." He blew air threw his pursed lips. "Most of that stuff happened years and years ago. I like to think about the good things that are happening now." I nodded and wiped down the counters as he stacked the plates in the cupboard.
"I admire how positive you are." We shared a smile. "So how is your mom now?"
"She had her rounds of chemo and radiation and now we are just waiting things out. She's going to be in the hospital for a long time." He ran his hand through his hair and then down his face. He looked so tired. I stepped up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. I felt his body freeze in shock but he relaxed and wrapped his arms around me as well.
"I felt like you needed a hug." His chest vibrated against my cheek in silent laughter.
"Thank you." I pulled away from him and smiled. "I could take you to meet her if you'd like sometime?"
"Really? I would love to." I felt a little burst of excitement mixed with anxiety. "But she doesn't know me."
"She would still love to meet you." He smiled warmly which lit up his entire face. "I know it."