As he recalled what Lilian had told him as well, Lucas froze for a second.
A test... Of course...
Lucas felt his skin crawl and a chill down his spine when he looked up to meet the silver-colored eyes, staring down at him with an emotion of the void.
Felix rarely wore this expression.
Lucas could think back to one of the events when he caught a glimpse of that face. It was back in the training day, amidst the chaos.
Once in a Blue Moon, when the clutter of fist fights arose in the camp, Felix needed not verbally divert the fight.
He simply walked inside the circle, with the belongings of the meddlers in his hands and threw them next to their boots.
'Pick up your things and disappear from my face.'
Felix Robane tolerated nothing when it came to misbehaving.
Lucas, on the other hand, never cared. He remembered watching the scene from afar, snorting in amusement. To Lucas, back then, he would not care less if he was going to be deported.
Better yet, he wanted to be, because that would equal freedom. Though he could have just walked away, Lucas did not make any attempt as he started to grow attached to his brothers-in-arms.
So, he had a reason to stay and behave. Especially with Ezekiel keeping him in a straight line along with Cabel.
But in all honestly, for Ezekiel, it was like keeping two hyperactive huskies on a leash. One was pulling left and the other was pulling right. The barks, the snarls, these two played rough and loud.
Sometimes Ezekiel would try to find a desolate place just for himself and his book. With a book in his hand, the young man found comfort in a hammock under the shade of the tree, away from the two. Interestingly, Lucas and Cabel were still able to trace Ezekiel. The youngest would start nagging and telling the oldest to settle the dispute for them, for an absolutely trivial matter.
Ezekiel would sigh visibly and pretend to fall asleep with his book glued to his face. He would play dead until the two actually leave him alone.
If not, the strings that tie the hammock to the nearby trees would be cut and laughter mixed with footsteps retreating from the crime scene.
Other times, the two would spar and force Ezekiel to be the referee. However, the white-haired boy ended up snapping at the other two for disturbing his peace and quiet.
Slightly frightened because they had never seen or heard Ezekiel yelling, Cabel ducked behind Lucas. While Lucas clicked his tongue and dragged Cabel away by his collar.
Realizing what he had done, Ezekiel sighed, then offered to join their little games.
Grinning from ear to ear, Cabel and Lucas gave each other a high five. That was when Ezekiel realized he had been played.
Little could be done because the prim and proper, the young master of the Alpheus family got dragged into the mud, literally.
"What kind of training is this?" A voice boomed.
Lucas vastly remembered Felix's voice as he looked ahead, not willing nor would he dare to look at his superior.
In the middle of their bullying, their superior, Felix Robane came to deliver an assignment, a four-man expedition with a newcomer named Dolus.
"You three look like a bunch of puppies rolling in the mud," Felix commented.
Lucas and Cabel abruptly dropped Ezekiel to the muddy ground and stood up straight, right hand edged to the temple of their head, saluting.
"I know another place that you can roll around permanently. Do you want to go there?"
"No, Sir!" Ezekiel, who was the last to get up, raised his voice and his hand to salute.
The soil splattered right across Felix's face and his expensive suit and the three young adults could be seen quivering in their boots.
Felix spat the dirt that caught in his mouth to the side. Then smeared off the rest. "Go run fifty laps around the barrack," Felix instructed. "NOW!!!"
But right now, back to this present day, Lucas wondered if there was enough room to run fifty laps, to rinse off his mistake as a punishment.
Or would it be another earful lecture from his superior?
Or if it could be something else worse.
One thing is for sure, he wasn't ready to leave or abort this mission.
Pictures after pictures from the previous encounter at the incident left Lucas shambling in guilt. While he was grateful to be alive, he cursed himself for reacting too slowly for it shouldn't have come to this.
Truthfully, he knew he did not succeed in the aforementioned assignment and even if he was still alive and breathing right now, there would be no way Felix would let him off the hook that easily.
As if sensing Lucas' racing thoughts, Lilian walked over, putting a hand on his shoulder, consoling him.
"It's just a test, Lucas. Nothing serio-"
"Lilian," Felix interrupted. "Lady Athanasia could have been in grave danger."
Lucas tipped his head, his eyes leveled the ground, and his bare feet.
"But she isn't," said Lilian as she raised Lucas' chin with her fingertips without having to look at the young man.
'Head held high, Lucas.' That's what the woman was trying to tell him.
Lucas' lips parted. Before he could say anything, the bullets would rain above his head nonstop.
"You wouldn't have said this if Lady Athanasia was injured."
"I stand my ground that unless Anything Actually Happens, I won't make an assumption as you did."
"It's not an assumption. It's called Precaution."
Before the argument could lead on, Lucas spoke up first, "I will atone for my punishments if that's what you want, Felix."
Lilian shot her husband a glare and Felix took a deep breath in. "I am not the one who decides the punishment," he said.
"Then who?"
"Someone who has higher authority over me."
"It doesn't answer the question."
"A test and an assignment or mission are different. Whether you will receive punishment or be lifted completely, the whole process of your sentence will be decided by the advisors. You have up and down to your scores. In some fields you did exceptionally well, in some others, you did not."
Lucas grunted in disapproval. "Still doesn't answer the question."
"Then I have no more answer for you. I'm just one of your 'Drill Instructor' and nothing more. I can't decide your fate."
"Then answer why she needed to be there if it was a test just for me?"
"It was a test... For both of you."
Lucas heaved his brow, confused. Though Felix could only see the young man sitting still on the chair since the bodyguard was behind Lucas. Still, the older man knew what the boy was thinking.
"The test began the day you went out shopping with Lady Athanasia. So as you should know by now, the rooftop encounter was planned."
Lucas' eyes went a bit wide, surprised, but remained still.
Felix continued, "I contacted Tobias first and they did the rest of the work. It's also confirmed how weak your sense of surrounding had become that even if they had been following you for a while, you didn't even notice."
"I did," Lucas defended himself.
"Oh, you did?" Felix asked a rhetorical question, amused. "Why didn't you do anything?"
"I didn't want to make a scene or scare Athy."
"Well, you are not the type to lie. I will believe you in this one," Felix commented. "But doesn't change the fact that you couldn't stand against two people. Because of that, we weren't even sure if we wanted to go for the second phase of the operation."
"I lost because held back."
Felix snorted above Lucas' head, arms folded.
"I've watched everything through the surveillance camera. You didn't put up much of a fight."
"That was exactly the plan. The situation would only escalate if I fought back and if I did, Athy would be left alone or used as a hostage. I wanted to use myself as a target. If anything, I was always ready to fight. You saw what I could do in the Second Phase of your game."
The confidence in Lucas' voice made Felix and Lilian exchange another look. Then the older woman gave her husband a rare smug expression that said, 'One point for Lucas, Zero for you.'
"Your justification may have just earned you a revoke for your punishments, even if partly," Felix said.
"What about Athy? What kind of test was it?"
"A test for a leader. Unfortunately, Lady Athanasia and her hostility toward Tobias gave it away since then. But I had to play along to not be suspicious."
"Fortunately for that bastard, she held me back from tearing his face off. Otherwise..." Lucas trailed, clutching the armchair' fames tightly then releasing, "I will rip that vocal cord-"
"Lucas."
He jumped a little when he heard his name being called. This time, it was Lilian's voice that made his shoulders droop.
"It slips..." Lucas grumbled like a puppy growling. "My bad..."
"What a nice house pet...!" Felix's ending sentence hit a high note after his foot was stepped on.
Turning toward his wife, Felix saw Lilian smile so wide that her eyes were closed.
That smile translated to: 'Say something nice to him or else I will end you'.
Felix coughed, clearing his throat. "It was... Interesting to see how you two grow, but growing ever so differently from your original roots. And I have to admit, you have grown quite mature, Lucas."
Lucas snorted, oblivious to the horror scene from behind him, assuming it was just a touch of sarcasm.
"What are we? Lab rats to you?"
"We are preparing you two for the reality."
"Yeah. Reality. Sure," Lucas slightly turned his body where he could see the bodyguard's face. Then he asked, "What if she got caught in the fire? Do you know how dangerous it was?"
"Child, You Do Not Get To Questions Me Such Things For She Was Your Responsibility," Felix's voice rumbled sternly and Lucas clicked his tongue and looked away, annoyed.
However, he did not get to see Lilian pinching the side of Felix's waist so hard that the bodyguard retreated away from his wife.
"Were you the one who set up this whole damn show at the meeting thingy as well?" Lucas asked, pointing at the wound above his head. "How much budget did you even have to pull off these things so big and so... Realistic."
"Because it was an attempt to recreate a scenario as such. But before that, do you know what the wrongs you have done to lead to such disaster?"
Lucas went quiet, his shoulders became loose in tension, meaning he was brooding. Then he shook his head.
"The very first rule of being a bodyguard is that you should have never left her side," Lilian said softly after stealing another jap to Felix's ribcage earlier. "You were doing extremely well though."
"At first yes," Felix added, catching Lilian's wrists and tied them down with just one hand. "And then you left her with a stranger."
"Stranger?" Lucas asked, head slightly raised.
"Your previous drill instructor," Felix answered.
"I thought that Bastard was on our side?"
"You thought correct, but still, Tobias was just a decoy. An important test is whether you took the bait or not. And you did."
Lucas gritted his teeth and cursed under his breath," I knew it... I shouldn't have trusted him."
"You shouldn't have trusted anyone."
"Even you?" Lucas asked, looking up at Felix again.
"You can never be too careful, can you?"
"Why? Were you only just raising me to be a tool and do errands for you?"
"And if I am?"
"Felix!"
Lilian glared at her husband which went ignored.
"I wouldn't be surprised," Lucas laughed to himself. "I didn't have anything else to lose after I lost my father. I wouldn't be surprised if you built me up and then one day decided to throw me back to where you found me."
The room went silent and only Lucas' low and bitter chuckle could be heard. He stared at the bathroom door where the sound of water running could be taken notice.
"I know I shouldn't have had my expectations up, but it is really nice to have all this," Lucas continued. "But sometimes I really did forget that I'm still just a stray to you guys. Until I was reminded about my origin."
The old couple's eyes went wide at the same time. Lilian asked, "Did someone... No... Who Called you that?"
Lucas didn't answer. On purpose.
"If I continue to stain her name as others had said, I will leave this place and find another shelter. I do have a place to go."
Lucas pointed to the window by the balcony outside and the couple followed his direction, recognizing the abandoned condo.
"I'm sure you know about that building, Felix," Lucas continued. "I can stay there if that's my punishment for not doing my job by leaving Athanasia exposed to dangers when the eruption of conflicts happened during the chaos."
Lucas took a sharp breath in for a short break as if he was preparing himself.
"You can put me in a very long expenditure, training away from here too. For months, or even years. But I only ask for one thing," Lucas trailed.
After that short pause, he pleaded in a low whisper, "As long as I can return here, return to her. As long as you guys don't make me leave her or all the way around. Because... I think she is all I ever have and my ultimate goal. She's my only purpose to wake up and be the better person..."
It would probably be the most romantic thing Lilian had ever heard from the boy's lips himself, but there wasn't any room for Lillian to celebrate.
Instead, she looked at Felix silently, her eyes demanding an answer. The husband raised his hands in defense, saying it wasn't him who said all these hurtful words to the young man.
"Sorry for saying nonsense earlier," Lucas quickly made an excuse. "I'm not really myself."
"First of all, you just confessed your devotion to us. But unfortunately, it should have been Lady Athanasia hearing all this," Felix said. "Second of all, Child, you are madly in love right now so it's normal to be this weird. Third, the mighty Lucas just apologized, so you are either drunk or possessed."
"Felix!"
"I'm just trying to ease the tension off! I don't like this!"
"You started it!"
"He asked for it!"
"Can you just use nice phrases to talk to him?"
"I'm as nice as I am!"
Then Lucas' loud question pulled their attention back.
"If what they kept telling me was true, then why do you two still trust me and entrust me to be with Athanasia?" Lucas asked.
"First of all, we have no idea what you are talking about. And second, Who are those 'They'?" Lilian asked and Lucas stayed silent.
As Lilian turned to her husband, asking for help, it seemed that Felix was already spacing off. So she persuaded Lucas on her own.
"You can tell us, Lucas."
Lucas looked down again before asking, "Why do you guys trust a stranger like me? I'm sure you know the rest of the people here far longer than I am."
Lilian leaned closer to her husband, then whispered, "Please tell me this is just another aftershock of the drug."
Felix heard the whole conversation, but he could not find the reply just yet. His head was filled with unsettling feelings of the inner disagreement of the foundation he had built in this company.
Did someone blackmail Lucas? How come such an error could only occur when Athanasia started to reign the company without her father's presence? Could it be possible for a revolt for power by the high advisors? Did they know His Excellency's health was declining and it was the opportunity to strike?
No... No... This can't be happening... Especially when I and Lilian will be leaving soon... Felix thought as he massaged his temple. I can't let Alexios and Lilian live in an environment like this either...
Felix jumped slightly when Lilian suddenly placed her hand on his back.
"Because she trusts you."
The bodyguard heard his wife's voice among the conflicted songsters in his head. Then he watched how Lucas slowly raised his head.
As if Lucas was surrounded by spotlights, Felix could have sworn he saw a young boy in his early teens instead of a full-grown man.
The lack of love and attention, and negligence from his biological parents caused this fear of abandonment for him. Yet the ruthless survival on the street and battlefields steeled him.
When Lucas finally found a place he could call home, it did not last for it was taken away right before his eyes when his father died.
The two were close. The closer the bond, the stronger the heartbreak and the longer the wound to heal.
But a heartbreak would impair your shield and tear down your armor and impale a spear right in your heart regardless no matter how hard you tried.
Did the boy experience such a level? Felix doubted that. From the way Lucas was falling for Athanasia, and the way the heiress was going for blood just for her beloved, Felix could only pray that those two would have mercy on each other.
Now that Lucas had been living under the same roof as him, Felix now understood why his wife was so careful with Lucas.
"Do you... Guys trust me though?" Lucas asked, hesitating like he was suffering a childhood trauma.
Lilian needed not to answer because Lucas could feel it through the firm grip on his shoulder and the genuine smile on her face.
How much faith did that older woman place in him? Lucas wondered.
When Lucas looked over his shoulder, to find Felix, the bodyguard huffed as he scratched the back of his head.
"We do," Felix said, "We all do. So... Don't break our trust. Especially hers."
The couple thought it would have lifted Lucas' spirit. But he sulked into the chair further.
Lucas raised aloft his left hand to examine the dot where the needle of the previous drip therapy went through.
"How can she trust me when I can't even trust myself?"
"She had no idea that it would go that far. Nobody did, actually," Felix said.
Confused by what the older man said, Lucas tilted his head.
"Do you doubt your ability because you failed the test?" Felix asked.
Lucas nodded slowly.
"Good. Because that test was also to humble you. But if you could pull that off, I doubt you are even human."
"You set me up to fail?"
"I set you up to see how far you would climb. And yes, I was the one who set off the EMP. I was also the one who sniped the second dose of hallucinogen into your system because the first one did nothing at all. But, you have strong drug resistance. I will give you that," Felix said, nodding his head slightly as if he were somewhat proud.
"Though it would shock your system and hit you like a truck when it finally seeped. Only then when I realize it was a bad choice and it's only normal that everyone, even my wife here yelled at me for acting so stupid," the veteran bodyguard added.
"You don't act stupid," Lilian commented. "You Are Stupid."
Lucas held back his laughter, pretending to cough into his hand. "What happened next?" He asked.
Felix continued, "Then you started swinging the blade like a maniac. When I saw Lady Athanasia coming out of the hiding room, I cued everyone else to end the test."
"Did I harm anyone?"
"No."
Lucas mumbled to himself, hand massaging his temple as if he were trying to remember something.
"Wait... I thought... I was fighting with... Someone? Was that real?"
"You took out a few- more than a few actually, but that's not the point. They were part of the drill team. They can take a punch or two. It's a good punishment for slacking off anyway."
"You put a bunch of weaklings to test me on my bodyguard debut mission?"
"I'm gonna say this once, so remember it well," Felix said. "They are not weak. You're just... Not human."
"Your strength is formidable for Felix's men to handle," Lilian translated. "Which is a compliment."
Lucas grunted, taking in the praises. He would have folded his arms and wiggled his brow if he was feeling a bit better.
"Do you want to train them after your recovery?" Felix asked and Lucas quickly shook his head.
"I don't do coaching."
"You train Cabel."
"We sparred for fun."
"Go spar with my team for fun then."
"I have my selective individuals."
"What an introverted house pet," Felix sighed as he shook his head.
Lucas snarled, fangs baring at the old man. Then suddenly, he ran his hands up and down his body, as if he was looking for something.
"Hold on... So I never... Got stabbed?"
"It wasn't part of the plan. I didn't know why Tobias did that too. And because the EMP was blocking the signal, I couldn't get an answer from him. I was a bit worried when you picked up the dagger. So, I had to shoot you with another dose of that drug. And it didn't take long for you to collapse."
"Ah. I saw something else..."
"What did you see?"
"I prefer not to talk about it..."
"It was that unpleasant huh? No wonder you were shaking like a drowned puppy. And truthfully, you almost drown if it wasn't for Cabel. But I really didn't have much choice because Tobias' father was about to-"
Before the conversation could go on further, the bathroom door was pushed open, almost violently.