I wake up, but I keep my eyes closed for a moment, focusing on everything around me. If I put attention, I can hear the drops of the serum falling into the IV and I can feel it as it runs through my veins, getting to my whole body. I hear the beating of my heart, racing when I think of what that bloody serum is doing to me, how it is contaminating me.
I am aware of the cold feeling on my left wrist, the metal band still there as if mocking me. But what I was more awfully aware of were the two rings, cold yet they felt as if they're burning me. The promise ring that adorned my finger on my left hand gave me a feeling that I just can't describe as anything but bittersweet; while the bigger, older ring I had been wearing on a chain lay there on my chest, as if weighing me down, reminding me of who I am, and of who brought me here, abandoned me here.
I don't know how much time I've spent here, probably weeks, but all I can think of is just how much I'd like to be able to leave, to go back home.
Home, such a fun concept. Is there even a home for me to go back to? Will anyone truly care if I ever come back or if I don't? I know Voldemort would, but I also know it'd only be because he wants me to be the perfect weapon so I can win the war for him.
Perhaps I should give him that. After all, if I help him win the war then he'll be grateful for me, right? Right?
I know it's just me, coming up with stupid scenarios that probably won't ever happen, because being honest does he really need me to win the war? I think not, and if he doesn't need me then there's no real reason for him to want to come back for me. I just want to pretend at least someone cares for me, even if it's for the wrong reasons. How pathetic of me.
I open my eyes, adjusting to the white light in the room that I've now grown used to blind me for a moment whenever I wake up. I see the man who's been making my experimentation his personal entertainment sitting on a chair by the door, writing something on a notebook.
I try to move, trying to at least change a bit the laying position I've been in for Merlin knows how long now, trying to get as comfortable as I possibly can but while I'm trying to do so, failing miserably by the way, I move the bed a bit, making a noise that alerted the scientist.
"Ah, you're awake now. Good." He said looking up from his notebook, getting up from his seat. "You've come a long way, you know? There's something special about you, I could feel it from the moment your father told me about you." He laughed at the memory, what is so fun about it? What did Voldemort exactly tell him? "Sadly he didn't see the bigger picture, didn't think there was something as special in you."
"You're lying. He said he'd come back for me." I suddenly became really angry, talking through gritted teeth. "He needs me to win his war."
My anger only seemed to amuse him even more.
"Foolish child, he doesn't need you. And he lied, he won't come back for you, he exchanged you for a serum that could make him stronger. Poor idiot didn't know it doesn't work that way." He shook his head, a smirk plastered on his face. "It won't do anything for him, he doesn't know how to use it. In fact it's the same serum we've been giving you, only you will actually get to see how it works."
"He wouldn't do that, he wouldn't abandon me. I'm too important for him." My eyes were becoming blurry, I'm so tired of crying.
"Don't be stupid, he already did. Now now, don't get all sad, not yet. You've reached the next stage of your experimentation." He put down his notebook, taking out a weird little device from his coat. "Come get her." He said into it, putting it back in his pocket. "Now, you see, the serum is in your system. It flows through your veins, and exists in every cell of your body, it's there but it's... Let's say, sleeping." He walked towards me, standing beside my bed. "So it needs a little... Push, to get it to wake up and start working." He looked directly in my eyes, the coldness in his eyes reminding me of Voldemort's. It felt like he could see through my soul, see my future; and that's exactly how I felt every time Voldemort looked at me.
"What do you mean by a push? What happens now?" I'm not afraid, what could possibly happen? Get another serum to activate this one? Yeah, well, I'm used to being a lab rat by now so it won't really make a big change. I am, however, curious; what's his plan now?
"You are quite lucky, very lucky indeed, not many make it this far." He looked at the dried blood on the walls that I had noticed when I first got here. "You see, we've found that extreme conditions are very useful in helping this serum react, so in order to do so, you will be put through conditions that'll force the serum inside you to start... Let's say, getting activated." He put on a wide knowingly smirk. Well fuck me, this is just going to get worse, isn't it? "Now, don't worry about trying not to get scared or stressed about what's about to happen. In fact, do get scared, that might just help us". He laughed loudly as two guards walked inside, not taking even a moment before grabbing me and quite literally dragging me with them.
The labyrinth of hallways and rooms seemed endless, I wonder how big this place is. At some point we descended what seemed like a hundred stairs, so now I guess we're underground. It was so cold I was shivering, although I have to admit it could also be for the fact that I have no idea what they're going to do to me now. I know it's probably stupid and pointless but I'm tired of being here, of being treated like a lab rat, I have to try to get out.
I stopped walking, standing as firm as I could, trying to stay glued to the ground.
"What the hell are you doing?" The bigger one of the two guards spoke, pulling my arm trying to get me to walk again. "Walk." The other guard did the same, and I was forced forward a couple of steps, but I stood firm again.
"We don't have time for little games, come on." The other guard took out a gun, pointing it at me in the head. "You walk or I shoot." I faced forward, looking at the end of the hallway we were in. There were no guards to be seen nearby, and I know for a fact there are no other guards behind us either, we had been walking for lonely hallways for a good ten minutes now. Okay, I'll just have to be smart with this, come on, I've got this.
The guard pointing at me had let go of my arm, but the other one was still holding on tightly.
"Let me go, and no one will get hurt." I spoke, calm but still trying to sound threatening, trying to send the message I'm serious.
"Come on, do you really want to get yourself killed?" Laughed the guy with the gun. Oh well, I warned them.
While the idiot with the gun was busy laughing at me, I pulled my left arm which the other guard was holding, taking him a little by surprise and making him lose balance for a second. In a quick movement I pulled my hand free, grabbing his arm and pulling it back, twisting it in a weird angle, while with my free hand I took his gun from its holster. I put the gun to his head, my finger ready on the trigger.
"Let me go, and I'll let you both live." My voice was low, as it echoed through the hallway.
"Put the gun down, or you'll regret this." This idiot really just won't give up, will he?
I was thinking about what to do to get out of this mess, but the guard I was holding hostage decided to be stupid and tried to take the gun from me.
Everything got nasty real quick. I panicked at him moving towards the gun and I pulled the trigger, he fell to the ground loudly, a pool of blood forming quickly around his head. I turned to the other guard, who seemed in such a shock it took him a second to look back at me, but when he did I saw as he pulled his gun up a bit, readying to shoot.
But I beat him to it. I shot a second time, the bullet hitting him between the eyebrows. He fell on his back, and the blood started coming out of him too.
What have I done?
I just killed two persons, I'm a murderer. How was I so stupid? Shit.
Shit.
Not knowing what to do I took off running back to where we had come from, I have to try to get out of here, I've already killed them, they're dead. The first time I've ever killed anyone, I can't let it be in vain. I'm now a murderer, but at least it's got to be worth it, I've got to get out.
As I turned the corner I was met with six guards, who the second they saw me pointed at me with their rifles.
"Hands in the air, and let go of the gun, now!"
I don't know how many bullets are left, but I don't think they'll be enough to beat six guards, besides I don't want to kill anyone, not again. I ran back, and got inside one of the rooms, hiding behind some desks that were inside. I heard as the door creaked open once I was inside and hidden.
"I saw her get in here, let's go." Said one, leading the rest as he walked inside, rifle at the ready.
Soon there were six guards all over the room, and I was trying my best not to get caught, but I have to make my way out. As one of them was looking behind a desk to the left of the one I was currently hiding behind, I took him by surprise and put my hands on his face blocking his mouth and nose. He gave a good fight, but eventually he passed out and I was able to put him softly on the ground so he wouldn't make a sound and alert the others.
I went for it and tried to do the same with another guard that was close to me, but he let go of his rifle and it felt to the ground quite loudly, making the rest of them turn to look at me. Suddenly four guards were pointing their guns at me, as the other one had finally passed out.
I made a run for it, I figured if I didn't try to I'd be dead anyway. I ran up the stairs, hearing the guards running just behind me, but just as I was wondering why they hadn't yet shot me they did.
I felt a hit on my back, and the pain wasn't much really so I kept on running, but I must have lost a lot of blood or something, because I felt myself getting really tired really quickly, until I felt myself fall to the ground.
And everything went black.