After dark, Caroline and I had nothing be better to do than go to the Skull Bar after closing.
The bartender had almost finished cleaning up, about to go home for the night, turning off the lights, hearing Caroline rush behind him. When he turned around, the chair he had just stacked on top of a table was back on the floor.
The bartender was confused. "Okay..." He out the chair back up on the table. Caroline rushed by the bar, knocking off a bottle of alcohol, making it shatter on the floor. The bartender looked at the mess in annoyance. "Oh, come on." He walked toward the bar. "Okay, who's messing with me? Chris, you up there?" There was no answer. "Dick!" He started to clean up the spilled alcohol when Caroline dropped the body of Chris onto a nearby table from the balcony up above. His throat was bloody. The bartender was horrified. "Oh, God! Chris? Chris!"
I looked at Caroline. "Boo!"
I shook my head.
Caroline appeared on the steps of the upper level, looking offended, scoffing. "Are you booing me?"
I cup my lips with my hands sarcastically. "Boo!"
"I scared him!" Caroline told me indignantly. She looked at the bartender. "I scared you, right? With the whole chair-flipping, and the bottle thing?"
I shrugged, unimpressed.
The bartender looked between us in fear. "Who are you people?"
"Oh," Caroline said. "I'm Caroline." She gestured to me. "This is Nicola." I smiled, waving. Caroline pointed to Chris' body. "And that? Mm... Was delicious." She looked at me. "Taste!"
I walked over to the body, leaning over to taste the blood on his neck, standing happily. "Mm!"
"What's going on?" the bartender asked.
"Well, Caroline and I had a little bet that she would scare you to death," I explained.
"Like, literally, scare you to death," Caroline told him.
"But, you have to understand," I told him. "This is our first time messing with somebody, and we're both fairly new vampires, and we just turned our emotions off, but I grew up with a family of vampires while she didn't, so she didn't realize the whole 'dead body shock-drop thing is a complete cliche."
"Cliche?" the bartender repeated incredulously. "That guy was my friend!"
"Well, then why aren't you freaking out?" Caroline asked. "A heart attack? Come on, give me something." The bartender turned to run. Caroline appeared in front of him, compelling him. "I don't think you heard me. You're having a heart attack!"
The bartender scoffed. "What are you-" He started to groan and cough painfully. "My... My chest. What's happening?"
"She's cheating," I answered. "That's what's happening."
The bartender gasped. "Please, help me."
I sighed. "All right, just relax. It's mental. You only think you're having a heart attack."
"Now your throat's tightening!" Caroline told him mockingly, faking coughs. The bartender grabbed his his throat, gagging. "You can't breathe!" Caroline giggled. The bartender fell to his knees, gasping for breath. "Oh, my God! Are those spiders all over your body?" The man groaned in pain, rolling all over the floor. I sighed in exasperation. After a long moment, his heart stopped beating as he finally died. Caroline looked at me smugly. "Hmm. Look at that. I won. Poor guy was so scared that he died of a heart attack."
"No, that's not fair," I told her. "Technically, he died of a loophole."
"A win is a win," Caroline told me. "We did things your way when we spent the day torturing Stefan. It is my turn. So, you know what we do now?"
I sighed. "Yes. Unfortunately, I do. Karaoke."
Caroline smiled, raising her eyebrows suggestively.
~~~~~~
The next day, we were in the bar with other people.
Caroline was singing karaoke, Pat Benetar's "Hit Me With Your Best Shot".
Everyone was unhappy.
"Hey!" a female student told her. "Taylor Swift! We're trying to study here." Caroline smiled, wagging her finger at the girl. The girl scoffed. "Where's the manager in this place?"
I walked toward the girl. "Someone ask for the manager?"
~~~~~~
Caroline was still singing.
I was sitting with the girl, having her compelled, holding a knife, cutting into her wrists, pouring the blood into a glass, drinking.
The other bar patrons were compelled to watch Caroline song quietly without complaint.
Tyler and Matt walked in, seeming shocked and nervous.
Tyler looked at me. "Nikki?"
I smiled, standing. "Oh, look. It's the police officers in training. Are you guys here to arrest us?" I pointed the knife at the girl, compelling her. "You can go away now."
The girl held her injured wrists, running away, leaving.
Tyler looked at me in horrified shock.
I shrugged, taking a drink.
"What the hell are you doing?" Tyler asked.
I pointed at Caroline. "I'm just enjoying the music. You guys want next song?"
Matt looked at Tyler. "We should get out of here."
I rushed around them to block their exit. "No, stay. Caroline's taking requests."
Matt and Tyler swallowed, looking at me nervously.
I smiled.
~~~~~~
Caroline finished another karaoke song, laughing gleefully.
Matt and Tyler were sitting at the bar.
"Look, we listened to you sing, we clapped our hands," Tyler told her. "Can we go now?"
"Let's play 'Caroline Trivia'," Caroline told them.
"I don't even know what that is," Tyler told her.
"Oh, sire you do," Caroline told them. "You both dated me, which means you should know everything about me. So, I'm gonna ask you some questions about myself, and whoever answers them right lives." She pointed at Tyler. "Oh, and since you are currently dating Nikki, you have to answer the questions in two parts, one for me, one for her, but you have to get them both right if you don't wanna die."
"You're sick," Matt told her.
Caroline ignored him. "When are our birthdays, Tyler?"
Tyler looked toward me.
I smiled, raising my glass of blood.
Tyler sighed, looking at Caroline. "Yours is October 10th." He looked at me. "Your is November 13th."
Caroline and I exchanged a look to see if he was right about the other.
Caroline nodded.
I smiled, looking at Tyler. "Very good!"
I took a drink of blood.
Caroline sat on the couch. "All right, Matt. Your turn. What is my favorite color?"
"That's a trick question," Matt told her. "You don't have a favorite color."
Caroline laughed. "Correct." She laughed. "Okay, now a tiebreaker. Whoever answers first wins. What killed both f our mothers? It was a form of cancer, but it was two different forms."
"Yours died of glioblastoma," Matt told her.
"Correct, but you have to answer what Nikki's mom died of, too, if you want to win," Caroline told them.
"How would we even begin to know that?" Tyler asked.
"Oh, I'm sure I mentioned it at some point," I told them.
"No, you didn't," Tyler told me. "You never talked about your mom. She died 13 years ago."
I nodded, walking closer. "True. But I nearly died of what killed her just two years ago. Hazard any guesses, anyone? Come on. Tick-tock, tick-tock. Judges are waiting for an answer. What sickness did my mother die from that I also nearly died from?"
"Five, four, three, two, one," Caroline told them, imitating a buzzer. "Oh! Time's up. And what was the answer, Nikki?"
"Astrocytoma," I answered.
Caroline looked at Matt and Tyler. "And nobody wins, which isn't that bad, actually, because that just means we get to kill both of you."
~~~~~~
Everyone else was gone.
Tyler and Matt were still sitting at the bar.
I sat at a nearby table.
Caroline flipped a coin, having it covered with her hand, looking at me. "Heads I kill Tyler, and tails, I kill Matt. Deal?"
I shrugged. "Sounds good to me."
Caroline looked at Tyler and Matt for moment, walking closer to Tyler, holding her hands out to show him the coin.
Tyler pushed her hands away.
I smiled. "Ooh. Looks like somebody's angry."
Caroline rolled her eyes. "He's a wolf. It's his resting face."
Tyler stood angrily in Caroline's face. "None of this would be happening if it wasn't for you." He pushed past Caroline, walking toward me. "Nikki, this isn't you."
"It's not?" I asked.
"No," Tyler answered. "It's not. Look, you don't mess with people for no reason. You never even wanted this. The first time you killed someone, it was to save me. And you wallowed in guilt because of it."
I stood to face Tyler. "It was because I was weak."
"Oh, yeah?" Tyler asked. "And-and you fighting against Kai's hex, you dealing with the bomb that you had a sister that Stefan and Damon lied to you about for your whole life, powering through that until someone made you turn it off, that was you being weak? 'Cause let me tell you something. You're one of the strongest people that I know."
I smirked, shaking my head. "I know what you're doing, Tyler. It's not gonna work."
I turned away.
Tyler grabbed my arm to stop me. "You didn't turn it off because you couldn't handle the pain, unlike some people. You turned it off because it was the only way to save your sister's life."
"Stop it," I told him.
"That girl that loved her family blindly with a fierce compassion, that is the girl I fell in love with," Tyler told me. "But right now, I don't know who I'm looking at."
"You're looking at a vampire with her humanity off," I told him, using the words I had told him the night I had made my first human kill to save him. "We're a predatory species that hunt, feed and kill. I told you before that no matter how much I tried to be, I was no different from the others, and you told me that I was different. And look at who was right, and who was wrong."
"Fine," Tyler told me. "If you're just like everybody else, then kill me now."
"What?" I asked.
"Do it," Tyler told me. "Prove to me just how the same you are to the others."
I didn't move.
Tyler grabbed a chair from nearby, smashing it against the table, making it shatter, taking a broken piece in his hand to use as a makeshift stake.
Caroline looked suspicious.
Matt looked concerned. "What are you doing?"
Tyler took my wrist, putting the stake in my hand, the jagged part pointing at him. "I said do it."
"All right, Ty, stop," Matt told him. "She will kill you."
Tyler looked at me, shaking his head. "No, she won't."
His plan to stir emotions was working.
Caroline laughed mockingly, looking at me. "See that little vein in his forehead? I used to think it was so sexy, but now I'm pretty sure it's just all the blood leaving his brain."
"Screw you, Caroline," Tyler told her. He looked at me. "Come on, Nikki. Show me that you are really gone, and that there is no coming back. Prove it. Because I don't believe it. Not for a second."
"Ty, stop!" Matt told him.
"Yeah, Ty, stop it," Caroline told him.
"Why?" Tyler asked. "You scared about losing your killing buddy so soon? You made her into a killer!"
"After everything that happened to her in the last three years, I bet it feels good to let loose," Caroline told them. "Isn't that right, Nicola? You're gonna have to choose. Feel free for once in your life or go back to the sad, little girl. Your choice."
Tyler looked at me. "Come on, Nikki. Kill me. I dare you."
"Ty, stop," Matt told him. "She will do it."
"No, she won't," Tyler told him. "She won't kill either of us. Will you, Nik?"
I didn't answer, looking at the stake in my hand numbly, looking at Tyler in defiance. "Maybe I can't kill you." I rushed toward Matt, staking him. stomach. Caroline looked on in surprise. Tyler looked on in horror. "But I can kill him."
I let Matt fall to the floor, making him groan in pain, bleeding profusely.
Tyler instantly knelt next to Matt, pulling out the stake, looking at me in shock.
I backed away.
Caroline chuckled, crossing her arms over her chest. "Kudos to you for nearly bringing Nikki back, Tyler. So close yet so far away."
Tyler glared at Caroline.
~~~~~~
Tyler was desperately trying to stabilize Matt's wound. "I'm sorry, Matt. Come on. You can't die on me, man."
Caroline stood next to me casually. "Come on, Nikki. You weren't actually buying into all of that crap, were you? It was just to get you to turn it back on. You saved yourself from the pain that would undoubtedly come along with it."
I scoffed softly.
Stefan and Sarah walked in.
Sarah looked at Matt in shock. "Oh, my God. Matt."
I looked from Caroline to Matt. "Seriously? You two knew who my real sister was before all of this? Was there a single soul on this Earth who didn't know?"
"I don't think so," Caroline told me.
I looked at Stefan and Sarah.
Stefan looked guilty.
Sarah looked nervous.
I looked at them expressionlessly.
~~~~~~
Stefan saw Matt, sighing, pulling out his car keys from his pocket, looking at Tyler. "Come on. Get him out of here. Here, take my car."
Tyler helped Matt stand. "Come here, man."
Matt groaned in pain.
Tyler wrapped one of his arms around his shoulders, looking at me for a moment, walking out, leaving.
I looked at Stefan. "So, this... Tyler and Matt 'stumbling' into the bar wasn't on accident. They were looking for us to tell you where we were. Tyler jogged some emotions, and you brought my long-lost sister to jog the rest? That's your lame attempt to get my humanity back on?"
"It's working, isn't it?" Stefan replied.
"Let me guess," Caroline told him angrily. "Once you get through to Nikki, then you get my humanity back on? I don't think so." She picked up the makeshift stake, stabbing me in the back with it, pushing me to the floor, making me groan in pain, rushing toward the door, around Stefan and Sarah, looking toward me. "Sorry, Nicola. But thanks for the head start."
Caroline rushed out, leaving.
I groaned in pain, trying to reach toward the stake in my back.
Stefan and Sarah watched, half-awkward, half-worried.
~~~~~~
Stefan knelt next to me. "Here. Let me help you."
Stefan pulled the stake out of my back, making me groan in pain. He tried to help me stand.
I pushed Stefan away, standing on my own. "Man, you just don't give up, do you? I tried to kill you."
"Yeah, well, you didn't give up on me when I left with Klaus, and you were sick," Stefan replied. "You never gave up on me or on Damon."
"Yeah, and look at what that got me," I told him. I looked at Sarah. "And you must be as crazy and stupid as I am if you jumped right back into the fire after so soon of nearly burning alive."
"Well, we are sisters," Sarah told me. "We're bound to have some similarities."
I scoffed softly, shaking my head, stepping toward Sarah. "No. We're not sisters. We may have had the same dad before he died three years ago, but I had never seen you before that one day in the Grill. I never even knew you existed until just recently."
"I know," Sarah told me. "Stefan told me everything."
"Everything?" I repeated. "As in that his brother Damon killed your mother while you had been in her stomach, but they could save you? As in that he has been watching over you for your entire life? As in that both had lied to me and to my dad about this for the past 20 years?"
"And Kai, and the hex, and the humanity switch," Sarah answered. "Which brings me to this... You saved my life, Nicola. You had just found out that I was alive, and half out of your mind because of the spell. But you turned off your humanity to save my life. And I owe you everything for that. From what Stefan tells me, your humanity and your compassion is what has you here, and I can't imagine what had happened, but the way he says it... I admire that about you. To still care about them after everything that happened to you? You can call it being stupid, but I call it amazing, because that is who you are. Because of it, I'm alive, standing here in front of you. I think it kind of makes you a hero. I wish that I had known about you before. I wish that we had known each other, no matter how dangerous it was. I wish I could have met my real dad. Our father. And I wish that you hadn't have had to go through all what you did all on your own. I know I can't change the past, and I know that I couldn't have made things different, but... Maybe we can hope for a different future. I hate the way that we, and I'm sure that you do, too. But we found each other. And we don't have to be alone anymore."
"You need to come back to us, Nicola," Stefan told me.
I slowly started to shake my head. "If I do that, the only thing I will feel is pain."
Stefan looked from Sarah to me. "I want to show both of you something."
Stefan took my hand, offering a hand to Sarah.
Sarah nodded slowly, taking one of both of ours.
Stefan put a vision in our heads.
~~~~~~
Vision
There were two little girls in the kitchen back home in the Salvatore Boarding House.
One of them was a young brunette.
The other wasn't much older, her skin darker.
They were obviously Young Nicola and Young Sarah, getting ready for school, smiling and laughing.
Zach Salvatore walked away from the stove with a pan of food. "Soup's on."
Zach laid out the food for his two daughters.
Young Sarah looked at Young Nicola, smiling a small smile, whispering. "We need to get a real cook. I'm scared of his cooking."
"Heard that, Sarah," Zach told her. Young Sarah smiled. "You really shouldn't put lies into your little sister's head."
"It's not a lie," Young Sarah told him.
Young Nicola smiled, standing, stepping past Zach to get to the coffee.
Zach pulled it out of her reach. "Uh-uh. Nice try."
"Dad," Young Nicola complained.
"Nikki," Zach replied.
"You're no fun," Young Nicola told him.
"He's a dad," Young Sarah told her. "By definition, he's not supposed to be fun."
Zach pretended to be offended.
Young Nicola smiled, laughing.
Zach looked around as they gathered their school stuff. "All right, got everything we need? Books, papers, pencils?"
"We're good, Dad," Young Sarah told him.
Young Nicola and Young Sarah stood side by side.
Zach knelt in front of them. "Now, Sarah, it's your sister's first day of school. You gotta look out for her."
"I always do," Young Sarah told him.
"I know you do," Zach told her.
"Dad, I'm gonna be fine," Young Nicola told him. "We're gonna be okay. We're not little kids anymore."
"You're always gonna be my little girls," Zach told them, pulling them into his arms, kissing each of them on the head, letting go, standing. "All right, let's go, or we're gonna be late."
Young Nicola and Young Sarah smiled, laughing, running out of the kitchen.
Zach smiled a small smile, grabbing his jacket, following them.
~~~~~~
Now
Stefan let the vision fade. "That's what your lives would have been like if I hadn't done what I had done. And I'm so sorry."
I closed my eyes, everything that I hadn't felt since Caroline had used her life against me to make me turn it off...
It came flooding back.
I was back.
The hex was gone, but I remembered everything.
I remembered all of the pain that I had felt when Kai told me about Sarah, and when Caroline told me that she was still alive, and the pain that I felt when I realized that all of this was because of Damon, and that Stefan had lied to me my entire life, the two people that I relied, loved, most, two of the only people I had left.
And I remembered all of the pain I had caused.
I opened my eyes, looking at my sister in front of me to see she was just as moved by the vision as I had been. "Sarah."
Sarah smiled in relief, surprised that it had worked. "Hey, Nicola."
I thought back to everything, turning away, overwhelmed. "Oh, my God."
"Nikki..." Stefan trailed off.
I started to pace, tears in my eyes. "No. No, no, no. What did I do?"
"You didn't do this," Stefan told me. "It was done to you. I did this to you, me and Damon. We can't blame Kai or Caroline. They only told you the truth in the worst possible ways and used it against you. Against us."
I turned to them, but I couldn't stop pacing, breathing heavily. "But what I did. I killed-I killed that couple. I-I did what Damon did all those years ago. I threatened Jo, using her against-against Kai, and she's pregnant, Stefan." I walked closer to Stefan, but kept my distance. "I kidnapped you. I tortured you. I killed that girl in front of you. I tried-I tried to kill you, Stefan. I tried to kill you. Me and Caroline, you don't know the things we did."
"And I don't have to," Stefan told me. "Nikki, listen to me. It's working. The pain you're feeling? Let it in."
I shook my head, crying silently. "No. No. What I did to Matt, and Tyler." I stopped, turning to them. "Oh, my God. Matt. I tried to kill him. And Tyler. What am I supposed to do about Tyler?" Stefan reached toward me. I pushed his arms away, backing away. "No. Don't. I don't-I don't-" I started to break down. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Stefan knew that he couldn't help.
Sarah stepped forward. "It's okay, Nicola. It's okay." I shook my head trying to calm down. "Hey." Sarah looked like she didn't know what she was doing until after she had already pulled me into her arms, trying to comfort me even though she didn't know me. I started to pull away, but stopped, remembering the vision with us and Dad, starting to cry harder. "Shh. It's okay. It's over now."
I couldn't stop thinking about my dad, and how much I would have wanted that normal life instead of this one, crying silently, my throat feeling like it was closing in.
But Sarah was right.
It was over.
I was back.
~~~~~~
Stefan and I were sitting at the bar, a few feet away from each other.
I couldn't look at him.
Stefan looked at me. "How you feeling?"
"How you think?" I asked. There was a long moment of silence. "I'm so sorry, Stefan. What I did to you-"
"It was nothing compared to what this family has done to you," Stefan told me. "I am the one that should be apologizing. I never should have kept Sarah a secret from you. I just wanted-"
"To keep her safe," I finished. "Just like you wanted to keep me safe."
"Nikki..." Stefan trailed off.
"You're not forgiven, Stefan," I told him. "Not by a long shot. Helping me turn my humanity back on doesn't change what you did."
Stefan nodded sadly. "I know that."
I looked down. "I'm not blaming you for sending her away, Stefan. I'm hurt, angry and betrayed because you didn't tell me that she existed. That you compelled my dad to forget about her." Stefan nodded barely. "But I'm glad that she got to have the normal life. I'm actually kind of jealous." I took a deep breath, looking at Stefan. "I'll help you get Caroline's emotions back on. But there's something that I have to do first."
Stefan nodded.
I stood, walking out of the bar to where Sarah was standing outside in the night.
"Hey," Sarah told me.
"Hey," I told her. "Look, I just met you. And I just found out about you. And more than anything, I want to have some sort of relationship with my sister."
Sarah sighed. "But this sounds like a goodbye."
I looked down, taking a deep breath, looking up, compelling Sarah. "You had a normal life, Sarah. One that you deserved. One that I wish I could have had. And you can still have it. Just please, please, don't let me ruin it. You're gonna go home, and you're gonna live your life, far away from me and mine. You'll be safe, and I'll be at peace with the fact that you're not as stupid as I was. As stupid as I still am. It's too late for me to get out of this life now. There's no going back for me. But there's still a chance for you." I took a deep, shaky breath. "Thank you, for getting my humanity back... But you're right. This is goodbye." I wrapped my arms around her for a moment, closing my eyes. "Have a nice, safe, human life, Sarah Nelson."
I let go, rushing away before she opened her eyes and the compulsion took effect.
I did want to have some kind of relationship with her, my last true tie to my dad, my sister...
But I would be damned if what happened to me happened to her.