January 1, 2015
"Please talk to me," I pleaded, before knocking my head against the door in exhaustion.
"Fuck off!"
Last night wasn't my best show of character, but I didn't mean to do anything like that on purpose, it just happened. I had a mixture of alcohol and excitement in my veins, and I really don't think I should be held accountable for any unruly actions.
"Harry, please babe, I'm so sorry! Just open the door so we can talk!" I had been locked outside the bedroom for five hours now, and it had began to put a crick in my back.
"There's nothing to talk about! You kissed somebody else!"
"I was drunk!" I wailed back. I already knew that was the weakest excuse in the book.
"Oh, you were drunk!" He yelled sarcastically, "it's completely fine then."
"Harry," I sighed.
He cut me off before I could continue though,"Then it must be completely fine for me to go fuck some random girl in a bar."
"No that's not fine," I protested sternly, but I knew I sounded like a hypocrite.
"Yeah well, it'll be fine to me because 'I was drunk'."
"Please just open the door," that was it, I couldn't argue with him, I didn't have the energy.
He must have heard how tired I was because the door clicked open. I looked up to see him standing there, his t-shirt hanging haphazardly on his frame and his hair stuck up in every which way. He sighed when he caught sight of my crumpled form against the doorframe, and then angrily turned back towards the path of our bed.
"Harry," I begged pathetically, springing up and following him under the sheets.
"Please not now, I'm just so tired," He muttered, turning away from me while he pulled the comforter around his shoulders.
I shrunk back dejectedly for a moment, but then I slowly leaned towards him again because I wasn't going to back down.
"I love you," I began, whispering a bit nervously,"There, I said it, I love you so much sometimes it scares me. I kissed that boy because I was scared that if you ever left me, I wouldn't be able to find someone who makes me feel like you do."
He was silent for a moment, and almost every muscle in his body was tense. Then, suddenly, he turned around and wrapped his arm around me and pulled my tiny form towards him.
"I forgive you," he whispered, kissing the apple of my cheek.
That was it? No declarations of love in return? Just a silence so overwhelmingly loud it suffocated me. The anxiousness rushed over my body in waves, almost as if it were a warning for an incoming storm.
"Do you really forgive me," I asked after a while. I needed to know we would make it, that we would be okay.
"Yeah," He sighed,"And I'm not going to leave you, I promise."
His tone was one of assurance, and I know it was supposed to ease me. But the waves of anxiety and his slight pause before 'I promise' led me to believe that things were definitely not going to be okay.
a/n: lol it's 1:18 in the morning and i'm so tired i want to cry