Healing is a slow process.
Every second, every minute, and every hour it keeps going. Bits by bits, at the pace of a snail it takes place, a pace so time taking that it could frustrate any soul.
But healing is permanent, it may take all the time in the world but it is steady, it is for once and all.
It is like poetry, it takes time in finding the right words, for placing them in perfect places, rearranging some, and re-reading until it is a masterpiece. It takes efforts from a poet, maybe much more than it is appreciated, but it is slow, a process done only once, and gives maximum results.
It cannot be hurried, it is healing and not patching.
Healing is effective when slow, for once and for all.
Patching is fast, a temporary solution.
This was an important lesson in her graduation, being a doctor they had to focus on healing and not patching. It will take time, and a lot of effort, and is a continuous cycle but it is for the latter good. It is worth everything.
"I'll stand on the sidelines, I got your back."
Azeen smiled at her husband, he was putting efforts into her healing process, supporting her, standing near her at every step.
Not waiting for her to fall but to make sure she stands up. She could have never asked anything from the Almighty if she knew he will be sending this man into her life, Shehryaar Shah. The man she loved, him who is hers for all the time in the world.
"They are going to start, Zee. Go take your seat." Shehryaar ushered her towards the seats as per the alphabetical order, she felt her heart fluttering with happiness at his soft eyes, constant care, and his name she carried with confidence. "All the best." He wished and pecked her forehead like a breeze, making her blush feeling eyes.
"Thank you." She shot him a wide grin.
It was her day of graduation, a few hours after her discharge from the hospital, she was better now, not healed but better.
The ceremony started, the names being called. Students were grinning at the camera, collecting their degrees, and walking back to their designated seats.
Azeen stood near the stairs, her hand supported by her classmate slash friend Aziya who was next on the list. She glanced back at Shehryaar who stood ready to reach her anytime she needed him. His stance was alarmed but his grey eyes were what had her tearing up.
He looked at her like she was the only one who mattered, the whole world could crumble but he wouldn't blink, he looked at her like a sailor looking at the lighthouse in the dark ocean, like a kid staring at a shooting star making a wish.
"Dr. Azeen Shehryaar"
The announcer took her name and she begrudgingly looked away from him. Holding onto the railings and supporting herself with small steps she completed her chance, smiling and grinning as she felt the happiness multiply, a glance at Shehryaar and her family she felt tears pricking her eyes, they were proud, so proud seeing her collecting her degree and being officially called Dr. Azeen.
The claps and hooting from Zain had her shake her head grinning, another voice joined her brother, and she laughed seeing Shehryaar yelling and cheering on her.
Shooting the last Thank yous and grins at her faculties and chief guest she descended only to be held against the warmth of her mother's chest.
The IV bandage attached to the back of her palm was enough indication of her being unwell, the security didn't interrupt Manizeh as she placed a quick kiss on her forehead and congratulated her before helping her to the seat.
Or it was Shehryaar Shah and his influence, she was getting treated with extra precautions and care the moment she had stepped out of her hours-long slumber.
She was annoyed before but now she was too happy to let anything disrupt her happy mood.
"Chalien?" he forwarded his palm towards her, catching eyes all over the place. His soft smile and that face were enough to get girls and women flush.
Azeen took a quick glance and placed her hand in his. "Chaliye."
She met her family, her entire family who waited in the audience cheering for her. Her cheeks hurt seeing the happy faces, and proud smiles they threw at her. She was lucky to have them, so much lucky.
"I am so proud of you, gudiya." Jamal patted her head lovingly.
"You feel okay?" Nafisa asked, Azeen's nod made her smile and she hugged her briefly, these gestures of affection were still foreign to her and Shehryaar. "Shukar Alhamdulillah."
Azeen shared a quick smile with Shehryaar, the duo talked about Nafisa, they have witnessed the abrupt change and were trying to accept the change in her, it was unbelievable, almost a miracle but they had calmed their racing thoughts, letting the things unfold. They were curious but more than everything happy, it felt to be smiled upon by people you consider family.
Zeeshan was an entirely different case, the moment he was out of his unconscious today morning he had demanded Shehryaar, crying for his loss of Firoz, sharing his bottled grief with the person who had faced the same loss if not more.
The duo silently sat for minutes not talking, this silence was not awkward but comfortable, as if their thoughts were talking without shaping into words that were required to be spoken out loud.
"Now, It's time for the graduation gifts," Jamal announced.
"Dado, she is not well yet." Shehryaar groaned.
"I am perfectly fine." Azeen narrowed her eyes at him. "You have kept me hyped about this surprise that I'm not waiting anymore. No, aapki koi bhi dalil kaam nahi karegi. I am not waiting anymore."
"Tumhe baad me dekhta hu main." Shehryaar shut his lips, glaring at her promising repercussion.
"Dekhlena na," Azeen sassed him. "Now out with this surprise already!"
"Ji begum sahiba."
~~~
"You did not do this to me, Shehryaar? How can you?" She hissed the moment the call was received, glaring through the mirror at the girl who ducked her head down at the harsh glares Azeen threw her way.
"Zee...."
"No, you hear me. Aapko kabhi esa nahi laga ke mujhse puchle ek baar mere liye decision lene se pehle? Mujhe itna bhi nahi jaante kya aap? Mujhe ye sab itna zyada pasand nahi hai but aap to aap hai, har chiz apni marzi ki karni se karna hota hai." She blasted on him, her tone was low but laced with anger she felt against him, more on his choice.
"Are, are calm down, Zee. Itna ghussa?" He wondered.
"Aapko to me batati hu milke. Just wait and watch." She threatened.
"I thought you will love the color." He mumbled guiltily.
Azeen closed her eyes feeling bad after bursting out at him, she was frustrated more than angry. "I am sorry."
"Kyu? I mean, I should be sorry." He covered his shock at her sudden change of tone.
"I love the color, I do. Even this dress is very beautiful, anyone would feel like a queen wearing this...."
"You are my queen, you don't need a dress to feel like it now, do you begum? " He cut her off with his sweet words making her sigh inwardly.
"Aap humesha esa karte hai." She whined, the wisp of anger fading in thin air.
His chuckles made her huff in annoyance, earning the poor assistant a glare as she brought in the side headpiece called...whatever, she was too busy glaring at the girl to think about its name.
"Zee, please get ready and stop scaring your attendants. They are doing just their job and Yes, I know you don't like getting dressed this heavy but it is your walima, your wedding reception so for once do it, for me, okay?"
Azeen sighed "Only for you."
"Ma'am please, this is the last one." the girl reasoned, this angry customer was a new sight for her. She has seen women and girls fussing over their looks, wanting to be looked beautiful, more if it was possible but this lady here, she was angry that she looked so remarkable that no eyes would leave her and she will be a source of attention as and when she moved.
But, I swear Shehryaar, I won't leave you." She said quickly in the call to earn another set of chuckles.
"That is what I want, Mrs. Azeen Shehryaar Shah. Never leave me."
The call hung and she smiled shaking her head. She looked up towards the attendant who frowned skeptically seeing her anger changing into a smile. "Do what you feel right."
She waited for her to do her stuff, light strokes of brushes, pinching of liners, coats of lipsticks later she could see the changes in her, not that her face changed but her eyes were hooked on a bride she sometime in her childhood fantasized about.
The flowing fabric of light pale blue organza hugged her like a second skin, the flare at the bottom was enough to make her twirl and giggle like a child. The silver and gold embroideries on her dress were exquisite, making her fingers twitch each second to feel them and marvel at the detailing. The jewelry pieces were one of a kind, the necklace with orange-ish beads passed her middle section, suiting her deep boat neck, the earrings teasing her neck and the side mangtika rested beautifully on her open wavy hairs. The long sleeves left no place for bangles but only flower gajras which made her blush reminding her of her husband who sneaked into their room yesterday night to deliver them for her.
"Mashallah Bibi, Aap bohut zyada khubsurat Hain." The attendant gushed once they were done with her look.
Azeen smiled at her through the full wall mirror she stood infront of, taking in her look as a bride. "Shukriya, and I'm sorry for my earlier behavior."
The lady shook her head as if she understands her, Azeen grinned back at her.
The duo exchanged a few more words but halted as the door was unlocked from the other side and Sana peeked inside, Arham bouncing at her feet dressed in a cute brown kurta and white bottoms. The little flower tucked in his sherwani had Azeen gush at the little bun as Shehryaar called him. If not for her dress, she would have crouched down to pick the little man who passed her a toothy grin before hiding behind his mother's dupatta.
"Mashallah, Azeen." Sana blew protective verses around her before hugging her lightly. "Shehryaar ko bohut hi haseen biwi mili hai."
"Shukriya Appa." Azeen blushed and pulled the hiding Arham out, "Aap dono bhi bohut pyaare lag rahe hai, especially this Lil bun, right Arham? Mashallah!"
"Mush.. llah, Zee" the small voice copying her words made her chuckle.
"Shukriya, chote miyan" She kissed his cheeks and the 2-year-old returned the gesture making her laugh.
"Zee" Arham tucked onto her face before she looked back to his mother who glared at her son for craving everyone's attention. "You marry me."
Azeen laughed at his words "I'm already married to your Shehryaar chachu, Lil bun."
"And your said chachu will go berserk hearing you, his tantrums will be worst than yours, baby." Sana joked, making Azeen giggle to hide her already blushing cheeks. She thanked the attendant taking the chair offered to her, she settled her son in her lap, pinching his nose to make him pout again.
"Don't, Mimi." He complained and Sana poked her tongue out to her son, repeating the actions making him huff whining, he turned back to Azeen "Zee, say no to chachu."
"I am sorry, baby. I am already married." She reasoned, kissing his cheeks and wiping the lipstick mark away at which he almost whimpered.
"Well, you can always compensate my baby, no?" Sana offered mischievously, Azeen looked up at her to continue. " Give my son his bride, I want your daughter for my Arham, Azeen."
Azeen gaped "Appi, I... I am not even pregnant." She completed bashfully.
"So what?" she shrugged casually "You will be soon and I'm calling dibs on your first daughter, I will marry her with my Arham. I promise."
"Appi... " Azeen trailed, feeling at the loss of words. "I don't know what to say."
"Don't say, just be ready to have me as your samdhan, and I promise to be the most dramatic one at that." Sana winked.
Azeen shook her head smiling. "If I have a daughter, I will look forward to this, Appi."
"Inshallah, you will" Sana patted her palm.
"Inshallah." Azeen nodded before Sana started a new set of conversations regarding her upcoming internship, her health, and the graduation ceremony which was a week back. She had been healing, slowly and forgetting the days which were no less than a nightmare for her, more for him.
She had seen him, at the highest and lowest, but never at his most vulnerable. The day she opened her eyes after 18 hours she saw him breaking, tear after tear. Shehryaar had let her into the darkest memories of his, losing his parents had scared him and her hospital scare was enough to slice open his old wounds.
She had felt her heart break seeing him that day but it was them together who pieced themselves back, letting themselves overcome and slowly push it back as one of those days when they fell more and deeper for each other.
She has been in love with him but after that day, she was living for him, only for him.
The knock made the duo turn, and the slow turning of the knob made Azeen wait with bated breath, she knew who could it be. It was planned that Mudassar and Sana will accompany the couple to the venue, which was their backyard. Sana was here and Mudassar and Shehryaar were left to come, they were to be there soon, together.
She blinked slowly as the door opened and opened her eyes only to see him, standing at the threshold was her husband looking every inch of regal one could be.
His white chicken sherwani paired with a waistcoat of the same shade that of her with his brown formal shoes looked good on him, as if made only for him.
He walked inside followed by Mudassar who nodded his head at her in a form of greeting and averted his eyes immediately to his wife and son, his eyes held the glint of an emotion Azeen admired the most in them, they looked at each other like they were their whole world, their faces reflected the satiety that a patron feels on finding water in the midst of a dessert, that of a sailor finding his shore.
"Zara idhar bhi dhyaan de, begum. Bande ne bohut koshish ki hai aapke saath khade hone ke layak banne ki." Shehryaar remarked pulling her attention to him. His charming smile had her feel the warmth of his presence.
"Mujhe aapke layak banne ki koshish karni chahiye, na ki aapko." She murmured to him, letting her eyes take in his face and his grey eyes which said everything she yearned to listen to. "You look handsome, husband."
"Mh-mm, Itni haseen biwi ke shohar ko handsome to lagna hi padega." He winked and crouched near her.
Her eyes widened "What are you doing?"
"Kneeling infront of my world." He answered.
"Why do you say things like these?" She asked rhetorically making him kiss her knuckles. Her heart thrummed with love, her hands reaching his face as she blinked her eyes to not let the moisture seep out and ruin the hours of makeup she had suffered.
"Ab rona nahi, meherban." He told her, leaning closer to her "Or else you will be bearing more of this torture and you cannot blame me this time."
She playfully rolled her eyes, scoffing "Only you are to be blamed, you were all 'yes and yes' for this walima, I didn't consent."
"You deserve this, Zee. This and everything in the universe. You deserve everything." He started making her speechless again. His fingers reached her heel straps and fixed them before pulling a box from his inner pocket. "I have brought you something you forgot to carry today."
"Here" Shehryaar forwarded the box to her facing her, "I have kept you waiting a lot longer than I had intended to."
"You did." Azeen agreed, waiting for him to open it and give her the gift he had been hyping her for so long.
He opened the sleek box only for her to be amazed at the sight of the delicate necklace, the ups and downs of the chain making it seem like a heartbeat. Her fingers caressed the chain with heartbeats all over it with a small ball in the middle, the grey stone had her looking up at him.
"This necklace is not because you are a doc, Zee. It symbolizes that you are my heartbeat and this grey stone... " He leaned and made her wear it around her neck, the grey stone resting near her throat in the choker style. "It is because you love my eyes." He had whispered in her ears.
She gaped but shook her head in disbelief seeing him chuckle.
"It's a fact, you love their color." He shrugged cockily.
"You are... such a...huh." She sighed defeatedly glancing at the mirror kept at her bedside table, admiring the piece as it settled on her.
"Yes, I left it on my side table today morning." She admitted guiltily. She led him to make her wear it back.
She touched the stone and smiled, Shehryaar took a quick glance around finding Mudassar and Sana standing at the other corner busy in their own world. He leaned and pecked her lips quickly.
"Shehryaar." She gaped bashfully, cheeks heating up quickly.
"What? You are my wife, begum and I wish to do plenty more of these but for that, we have to go home and ditch our reception which I'm sure, Dado won't like." He whispered huskily.
"Let me inform Dado about your plans to ditch his party, he will have a good chat with you after he smacks some sense in your head." She threatened.
Shehryaar narrowed his gaze, "You won't."
"Try me." She grinned.
Shehryaar stared at her, grey eyes boring into her face and she squirmed in her place, tucking the strands behind her ears.
"What's wrong? " She asked and he shook his head declining. "Then stop staring at me, Shehryaar."
"Why should I? I have every right to stare at you anywhere, anytime I want, begum." His knuckles caressed her cheeks. "I can do much more than just stare but I know you won't approve" He winked
"You are impossible." She said in disbelief.
"Never for you, Meherban."
~~~
The backyard never looked this beautiful, it was a task to remove her eyes from the large fairy light balls hanging from the ceiling working as DIY chandeliers. The see-through white curtains acting as a wall and the soft flower petals thrown all over the grass made her grin brightly as she walked towards the stage, their family waiting at the other side.
A small squeeze on her palm made her avert her eyes away from the mesmerizing decorations, she blushed feeling his amused gaze on her, she smiled sheepishly and picked her dress a little to walk without tripping.
The distance between them and the stage came to an end, letting her smile brightly at the familiar faces, Manizeh rubbed a stray tear and blew protective verses above the couple followed by Nafisa who blew the evil eyes away letting them meet Jamal who stood with a heartwarming smile on his face, his eyes heavy with unshed emotions and lips trembling as they greeted him with a Salam and he replied them with his blessings.
"May Allah keep you both in love and happy forever, I wish you both together for an eternity, No evil eyes break you apart, may you hold each other at every step of life, Mere baccho." He hugged Shehryaar and patted Azeen's, kissing her forehead lovingly. "Remember love is not a one-time thing, it is a continuous cycle, find small things each day to fall in love with each other again. Be it each other's guiding light always."
"Thank you, Dado." They said smiling.
"Your parents will be proud of you, Shehryaar. Remember this always, they are with you every second, though not physically but they are here, Ruhani taur pe wo aapke saath hai." He patted his back, and Shehryaar nodded in reply.
Azeen squizzed his palm stealthily and he shot her a quick smile as if telling her he was okay.
"I have wronged you a lot of times, Sherry but not anymore. You were my first child and I'll make sure I'll shower you with everything I have deprived you before." Nafisa whispered hugging him. "I will earn your forgiveness, my child."
"Choti Ammi, you don't need to," Shehryaar stressed, holding her palms and kissing her knuckles. "I have always loved and respected you like my mother, I call you my Choti Ammi. You are my mother."
Nafisa gulped, halting her tears and shaking her head "I know, Sherry. I promise to treat you the way you respect me." She kissed his forehead, blowing verses on him.
"Welcome to the family, Azeen. You are a blessing to us and Shehryaar." She turned towards Azeen who smiled at the exchange, hugged her, and kissed her forehead.
"Thank you, Choti Ammi." Azeen hugged her back.
She glanced at Shehryaar and Zeeshan who hugged each other with no words but the hold so tight as if conveying millions of words to each other. Patting his shoulder twice, Zeeshan parted and smiled at him.
"I never said it, Shehryaar. I am so proud of you and everything you have achieved. I was at peace most of the days because I knew you are handling things. I see Bhai in you, I never acknowledged the fact but today I do. Firoz Bhai would be the happiest seeing you today."
Shehryaar took a shaky breath, nodding at him. "Thank you, Chachu."
The last month after her hospital scare, things have changed dramatically. Ayesha had left abruptly one morning for California informing and bidding bye to all at the same time, Ayaan and Bushra's engagement, Zeeshan stepping down from his position and Ayaan's promotion, Nafisa's behavior and Jamal's interest in waving off from Pakistani dramas, he was now focused more towards learning the Spanish language and hooked on Spanish series, movies, and books.
The last one had left Azeen skeptical for hours until she took a deep breath and accepted it. The men in her family thought and worked in mysterious ways.
What started as the introduction of a few people turned into a flurry of guests including influential people or should say, the acquaintance of the Shah family from all over the world, their employees, merchants, suppliers, business partners, investors and so many more. Azeen had stopped remembering the names after the 50th introduction but Shehryaar seemed to remember them by heart, each person who came up to greet them had her husband smile with his eyes recalling their past together.
Shehryaar was well-known and respected in his circle, she felt proud when every word spoken as a blessing for them was genuine and gestures real with no tresses of fake words and actions, people seemed to love the man as they spoke highly of him and blessed him with big smiles and care.
His employees were altogether a different case, they met him like a friend, joked like best mates, and spoke with respect. Their eyes are bright with excitement as they talked to him as if they conversed with their role model.
Azeen smiled, the soft curve never leaving her face and her eyes adoring her husband as he grinned at another of his friend from the office, they exchanged quick hugs, easy smiles, and code words that didn't make sense to her but she grinned seeing him laughing.
She thanked the man taking the gift box and bouquet from him, and passing it to the attendant who stood behind them to collect all the gifts from the couple.
"You okay? Tired?" Shehryaar asked her as soon as the guest descended down the stairs.
"Yes and stop asking me this every 15 minutes, Sherry. I'm okay." Azeen answered him patiently, he had made a habit of asking her if she was doing okay any time of the day and she would get irritated before but knowing how much he worried for her, she has gotten used to his questions, and 'Yes' she muttered for him.
"You can tell me if you feel tired, you know?" He ignored her request like always.
"I know, Aapko nahi bataungi to kisko kahungi bhala main?" She assured and he smiled before turning to greet another of the guest.
"Shehryaar" She called him, touching his arm and catching his full attention.
He waited for her to speak.
"I am glad that night I was there with you, I always wondered why it has to be that way, why we were forced into this relationship but today I'm happy, I'm happy that the time had such better timing."
His grin widened if possible, his grey eyes trapping hers "Me too, Azeen, me too."
This is the end, for Azeen and Shehryaar but not Aashna.
I may give you little sneak peeks at Ayaan and Ayesha's life because they need closure and so do the Shah family.
I will be back soon, with something for the sibling duo.
Drop in the comments what you wish to see about their lives, and give me ideas.