Juggling two boxes, a stack of comic books, and a small bonsai tree, she glared at Silas, seeing that all he carried was an overnight bag and a plate loaded down with leftover chicken and mashed potatoes.
"Damn, bat, get out of here."
Peeking out from behind the boxes, her glare darkened at the sight of her crow hanging upside down on the eve of her porch. "Are you kidding me? You show up now?"
With a shriek, he flew off.
"I don't know why you keep that damn thing. It probably has rabies or something. Can you get the door, Neevy? My hands are full."
She counted backwards from ten, trying to keep from dumping all his things in the ocean.
"Which room do I get to use? You know what? I'll just take the couch. Is this the only tv you have? It's not very big. Be careful with that box. That's my x box."
It all got dumped on the couch where he was already sitting and eating.
She gave him an itchy rash and did a spell that got rid of his plate.
"What the__ damn it, Neevy. You don't mess with a man's food."
"I told you__."
"It was already fried! Throwing it away will not help that chicken. Now you've made a waste of his death. I hope you're happy."
"Silas Miles Babb, if it once had a heartbeat, then you will not eat it in my house."
All the lights came on and were shining as bright as they could be. She crossed her arms over her chest. "See? All the ancestors agree with me."
"Whatever, Neevy. I'm just saying, a man has a hard day at work. He should have a nice, filling, hot meal waiting for him."
"It's three and the hardest thing you probably did today is drive from one end of the town to the other."
"You know nothing about being a man."
"That's true." Seeing him scratching his head and face gave her no enjoyment, so the rash disappeared.
"Where's your Wi-Fi cord?"
She smiled.
At his pale look, she chuckled and headed for the kitchen.
"Neevy, tell me it isn't so."
She didn't bother to say anything. He'd see for himself that there was no Wi-Fi if he bothered to get up off that couch. He'd also find that there was no cable and the television only picked up three channels. On a good day.
Normally, she would just eat some of the left-over pie she baked yesterday for dinner, but with company she'd have to do better than that or she'd never hear the end of it.
She'd barely started the spaghetti when loud, rattling snores started coming from the living room.
"Ancestors, I believe this is a test. If I am evil, I will surely kill him before the week is up."
Once the sauce was simmering, she took out two white candles and two black ones. She needed peace, and she was going to require a lot of strength. Just to make sure she took out another black candle.
"Neevy, I'm allergic to candles." Silas strode in wearing a white t-shirt, a pair of boxers covered in pink and red hearts, and some white socks. He opened the icebox. "You don't have any beer in this thing?"
"You're a cop and I'm underage." She reminded him. "Plus, I know for a fact that your mother doesn't allow you to drink beer."
"A man on his own can do what he wants. Dinner about ready? No cola? I could do with a nice cold root beer. Why don't you..." He wiggled his fingers at her. "Some chips too while you're at it."
She might as well start thinking about where she was going to hide his body.
She sighed. That thought would have been funnier before she became soul mates with a killer.