Inspired by Community S4E11: "Basic Human Anatomy."
Annabeth POV
If you ask Annabeth, midterms are worse than finals by far. Her reasoning? When you're taking finals, you get the whole week off classes so that you have more time to study, write your papers, and paint your dioramas. Don't underestimate a New Rome Community College professor's ability to assign a diorama.
During midterms week, you have to do all that stuff on top of your regular class load, so that means Annabeth is up until like six in the morning working on her projects because ADHD is a bitch and she couldn't find the will to stop looking at memes and start working until about midnight.
Needless to say, her mental health tanks during this week, and she can't afford a much-needed break because her study group can't decide what kind of a project they're going to do for their senior capstone seminar with—you guessed it—Mr. Brunner.
"I don't understand why we can't do a video presentation," Percy says.
"Speaking as the guy who loves video presentations," Leo says, "no."
"But why not?" Percy whines.
Jason crosses another idea off the list of suggested project ideas from Mr. Brunner. "Because we don't want you getting the sock puppets out."
Piper shivers. "Good god, never again."
"Hear me out," says Annabeth. "I know we were all trying to avoid this because we've made these for like, every single one of Brunner's classes ever, but we could just take the easy route and do a diorama."
Frank sighs. "I'm so sick of dioramas though."
"Does anyone have a better idea?"
Hazel raises her hand. "I was going to suggest we all paint banners, but we'd need to find the paint."
"We have all the materials we need for a diorama right here," says Annabeth.
"We do?" Hazel asks.
Annabeth turns to Leo. "Do we?"
He opens his backpack to reveal a large assortment of tools that probably shouldn't be allowed on a college campus, and then drags the recycling can out from its corner. "Someone threw away an Amazon box we can use... Aha!"
Leo tapes some trash together and all of a sudden, they've got their base for a diorama that'll sum up everything the New Rome Seven learned in this stupid capstone seminar, which isn't much.
"So," Hazel says to Jason and Piper, "what are you guys doing for your sixth-month anniversary tomorrow?"
Piper jumps in her seat and Jason looks at his watch. There's no way they remembered their sixth-month anniversary the way Frank and Hazel will their fourteenth-month anniversary.
"Oh, uh..."
"We'll probably just..."
Neither of them can find a good response.
"Oh! You know what would be so cute?" Hazel asks. "You could do something like Frank and I did last month and recreate your first date."
Piper finishes off her coffee and then shrugs. "Yeah, okay. What do you think, babe, El Taco Fiesta?"
"Yeah, alright," Jason says.
They don't seem like they're really feeling this date.
"Got it!" Leo shouts from the floor. "I had to take the zipper off Frank's backpack to make it, but the box for our diorama is ready!" Surrounding him is a wide variety of trash and art supplies. Annabeth admires Leo's commitment to sustainability, but the used tissues are a bit of an eyesore.
"Maybe," Leo says, "if I stack these used tampons together like-"
"Oh my god, stop!" Frank screeches. "None of that! None. Of. That!"
Piper spits out some of her coffee between laughs. "Who the hell threw a tampon away in the study room?"
Hazel raises her hand. "Remember when Jason got that nosebleed last week and... Well, you know..."
Annabeth is done rehashing last week's Injury of the Week, and for that matter, Jason is probably tired of celebrating Injury of the Week. It's always a head injury. There's nothing interesting about it anymore. He needs a new schtick.
Thankfully, Percy changes the subject before Annabeth has to yell at anyone. "Hey, did you know that if it was 2003, it would be the hit movie Freaky Friday's sixth-month anniversary too?"
"Woah," says Jason. "I've always wanted to do the body-swapping thing."
"Me too, bro!"
"Bro," says Jason. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"That this is very me of you?" Leo offers.
"That this is absolutely ridiculous?" Annabeth adds.
Frank raises his hand. "That your bromance is getting entirely out of hand?"
When Percy and Jason get an incredibly stupid idea, it's like they're functioning—or failing to function—on a completely different plane than everyone else. Hence, last week's Injury of the Week story.
Jason opens his backpack and dumps a pile of DVDs on the table. How Leo isn't involved is beyond Annabeth.
Among the spread of movies is 17 Again starring Zac Efron, that weird Nine Lives movie about the guy who swaps bodies with a cat, 13 Going on 30, Disney's 1976 film Freaky Friday, Disney Channel's 2018 film Freaky Friday, and of course, Disney's 2003 hit film Freaky Friday. You won't catch Annabeth willingly watching any of these tacky movies, but if she had to take her pick, it would have to be Disney's hit 2003 film Freaky Friday.
"Bro," says Percy. "I don't feel so good."
"Oh no!" Jason says. "Do you think we're swapping bodies?"
The guys grip each end of the table, throwing their heads back and yelling at the top of their lungs in the middle of the library during midterms week, surely disrupting students in the middle of their studies.
There's no thunder or really any sign that Jason and Percy may have swapped bodies. Annabeth rolls her eyes and turns her attention back to Leo's tampon diorama, which now features old Tootsie Roll wrappers.
"Bro, do you feel anything?" Jason asks.
"Nah, bro. It must not have worked!"
"Darn."
Piper rolls her eyes. "Maybe it's because you don't have a magic fortune cookie."
Percy gasps. "Maybe!"
"No," says Annabeth. "This is ridiculous. Everyone sit down and help me throw away some of this stuff." She takes a broken mechanical pencil and throws it back into the trash can.
"But Annabeth!" Leo cries. "That was a tree!"
"No, it wasn't," she says. "Go to the store and pick up some Model Magic and pipe cleaners."
Leo grabs the key to his Cadillac and asks Jason for his wallet, which he refuses to give, instead offering to go with him to the craft store.
"Cool," says Annabeth. "Somebody go clean up Leo's... project..."
Everyone taps their fingers against their noses.
"Not it," Piper calls.
Annabeth does not place her finger against her nose because she is not a child. Now, she is going to pick Jason's nose tampon off the floor.
"Hey, I have a question," says Frank. "Do we know what's actually going into this diorama?"
"Yeah," says Annabeth. "The project is on a shared experience, so I figured we'd just do a diorama of us making the last diorama we had to make."
"Meta," says Hazel.
"Does Leo know this?" Frank asks.
Annabeth turns to Percy. "Seaweed Brain, call Leo."
✎✎✎
Everything is going smoothly, except for the fact that Leo's Cadillac broke down on the way to the craft store, so now they're stuck with trash. Being three cotton balls stacked on top of each other isn't the most flattering look Annabeth's ever had, but it's better than being made out of Jason's nose tampon.
Hazel ties some Q-Tips together to make her body. "Can I have a pom-pom or something for my head?"
"No," says Leo. "I have a used tissue, a ketchup packet, and a piece of cereal."
"Hey, that ketchup packet was supposed to be my body!" Frank objects.
Leo rolls his eyes. "Excuse me, Hazel. The ketchup packet is no longer available."
"I can't believe we're making this thing out of trash," Annabeth says.
Piper pours some more liquid creamer into her coffee and gives the empty cup to Leo for the project.
"Remind me what these are for again?" he asks.
"The... the chairs?" Frank guesses.
They never do get to answer this pressing question because, at this moment, Jason and Percy enter the room with an even more pressing issue. That is, it would be pressing if it weren't total bullshit.
"Guys!" Percy yells. "You wouldn't believe what happened!"
Everyone stares at the bros blankly because they never go for the same bit twice.
"Pipes, don't you recognize me?" Percy asks.
"Yeah, you're Percy," says Piper. "Would you like us to make you out of Jason's other nose tampon or a crumbled-up piece of paper?"
"No!" Jason yells. "My bro Jason and I swapped bodies!"
Annabeth rolls her eyes. "No, you did not. Sit down and grab some glue."
"Wait!" says Jason. "You have your sixth-month anniversary date with Piper today!"
"Oh no!"
"Jason," Jason-as-Percy says. "I'll figure out how to get us out of this mess, and you go on your date with Piper."
"It was definitely the DVDs," says Percy-as-Jason. "I found them here in the library, but they must have gotten returned! You have to find them, Percy!"
"Cool, so you guys can figure that out after we finish the diorama that the rest of us have put so much time and effort into?" Annabeth asks.
"We can't work on the project right now, Annabeth," says Jason-as-Percy.
Leo puts his gluestick down. "Guys, I could really use a break. I'm starting to get hungry."
Annabeth groans, but she can't really argue with that logic. Leo's been putting in a lot of the logistic work on this project, especially given the disadvantage they're at and the emotional turmoil he's under with his Cadillac breaking down yesterday.
"Fine," she says. "Everyone, take two hours or so for lunch. Jason and Piper can go on their date, and I'll help Percy figure out where the DVDs are so we can get this whole body-swapping crap out of the way."
"Wait!" says Hazel. "What about valedictorian?"
"What about it?" Annabeth asks. Yes, she is also apparently in the running for class valedictorian. It wouldn't be the first time, except in high school, she lost her chances after the notorious pot incident. Now, she realizes that class rankings are completely pointless. She's already starting to hear back from some grad programs, so clearly having the highest grades in her class isn't going to affect anything. She's going to get her master's in architecture no matter who wins valedictorian, so she's not about to change her habits this far into her senior year. If Hazel beats her out for the title, she'll be happy for her friend.
"Annabeth," Hazel says. "I know you don't really care about this, but I think you'll care a little more when I tell you who we're up against."
"I said I'd be happy for you if you win. Wait, did you say 'we?' As in, a third candidate?" she asks.
Hazel nods. "You'll never guess who."
"Then tell me for Christ's sake."
She drops her voice to a whisper. "We're up against Sherman Yang."
No. They are not up against the guy whose only discernable personality traits are being in a fraternity and making various dips for parties. Annabeth can be happy for Hazel, but she cannot be happy for Sherman Yang.
"Okay, new plan," says Annabeth. "It's the same as the old plan, except you and Frank stick around and work on the project. Venmo Leo for some takeout and that errand can be his like, mental health break."
"Thanks, Annabeth," says Leo.
"You deserve it. Everyone ready?"
"Come on, Piper!" Percy-as-Jason says. "I reserved the best table at El Taco Fiesta for our special day!"
Piper makes eye contact with Annabeth and her face says it all: she does not want to be going on this six-month anniversary date with a guy pretending to be her boyfriend in his best friend's body. To be fair, that's not an unreasonable reaction to have.
"Ready to go check out some DVDs, Wise Girl?" Jason-as-Percy asks. Something about that nickname coming from Jason is wrong. Like, Percy didn't trademark it, but Annabeth doesn't think she can tolerate it from anyone other than Percy.
But it's okay. She has a plan that should hopefully solve this problem in no time. Jason and Percy will work out their issues, Piper will have her boyfriend back, and Sherman Yang will not be crowned valedictorian.
Emphasis on hopefully.
✎✎✎
And that plan starts with a trip to the dean's office.
"Ah, Annie Bell!" Dean D says. "If you've come about the rats in the dining hall, someone beat you to it. Have a nice day!"
"That's not what I'm here about," she says, catching the door before he can shut her out. "But you know, I wouldn't mind circling back to that."
"Then I don't understand what this is about."
"Yeah, me neither to be completely honest," Annabeth admits. "My friends are acting like idiots and I need you to convince them that this DVD is the same one they had yesterday."
"And I should do that because?"
Annabeth rolls her eyes. "Because we have this bigass project for midterms that we can't finish until Jason and Percy stop playing Freaky Friday."
"That sounds like a 'you problem,'" says the dean.
Annabeth narrows her eyes. "I'll make it everyone's problem. If we flunk this project, I'll fail my senior capstone, and then you'll be stuck with me for another semester."
"Oh, good heavens. Let me see the DVD."
She holds out the DVD of the 2003 Freaky Friday movie.
"Ah," says Dean D. "Lindsay Lohan. Poor thing. Do you think she's clean yet?"
"No," says Annabeth. "Can you bring this to the study room in like two hours?"
Dean D grasps the DVD and starts jolting his body side to side. He is either having a stroke or-
"What the hell is happening?" he says in a pitched-down voice. "I'm... I'm a gorgeous dean!" He gasps again. "But that must mean that Dean D is inhabiting my young fruitful feminine body!"
"Nice try, Dean," Annabeth says. Dean D's price is simply not worth the rewards. She'll figure out another way to convince Jason and Percy to drop their body-switching act.
Maybe Piper is having better luck, she thinks to herself as she waves to the secretary.
Hey, she texts her friend. Any luck with Percy?
Piper's reply is instant. Dude. He's committed. He keeps reaching for his glasses and acting surprised they aren't there.
Damn. He is committed. Keep trying. He won't take any of the couple stuff too far if you push him.
He is a nice guy, Piper texts back. I see why you had sex with him for a year.
That was two years ago. Have fun on your date.
Annabeth's cheeks are burning with rage. She loves Piper; she really does, but whenever she brings up that Percy thing from sophomore year, Annabeth can't help but lose her shit. It was a thing and now it's not. End of story.
But she digresses. If Piper can't get through to Percy, Annabeth is going to have to get through to Jason. Doing the convincing herself isn't ideal, but what's even worse is she lost her copy of Freaky Friday to Dean D.
Jason-as-Percy comes up to Annabeth holding a pile of movies. "All of them are here, except for the most important one!"
"Please don't tell me it's-"
"It's the 2003 version of Freaky Friday starring Lindsay Lohan!"
Screw Lindsay Lohan and her drug addiction.
"Are you sure those movies aren't enough?" Annabeth asks.
"Absolutely," he says. "Honestly, I think Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis might be the only thing that got us to switch in the first place."
Annabeth groans internally, although she'd love to just scream in Jason's face and really let him know how this whole shitshow is sending her over the edge of insanity. And to think, he's pulling this on his six-month anniversary, and now Piper has to go on a date with Percy, a fate Annabeth wouldn't wish upon even her worst enemy.
"So now what?" she asks.
"We're going to the janitor's closet."
Annabeth scoffs. "Me? Go into a supply closet with you? What if somebody saw us?"
"Nah," Jason-as-Percy says. "It's more of a lounge space anyway. It's not a good lounge space, but they've got a fish tank, and I know just the guy who can help us."
✎✎✎
Annabeth isn't convinced that Jason/Percy knows just the guy who can help. He does, however, know a friendly janitor with Einstein hair and a mildly threatening broom.
"Hey, Bob, this is Annabeth," Jason-as-Percy says. "Annabeth, meet Bob."
"Hey, Bob," she says.
Bob says, "Hello!"
She's not entirely sure what role Bob is supposed to play in helping them recover a missing DVD, but if this is part of some wild goose chase, she is going to murder both Jason and Percy.
"We're looking for a DVD," says Jason-as-Percy. "Think you can help us out?"
Bob sets down his MythoMagic cards and reaches for a box on the highest shelf. "I will help."
The cardboard box is labeled GOODWILL, but then the name of Annabeth's favorite thrift store chain is crossed out and replaced with LOST AND FOUND.
Jason-as-Percy could have led with the fact that the lost and found is located in the janitor's closet. Office. Whatever.
"Start looking!" says Jason-as-Percy.
Annabeth reaches into the box and sifts through the lost items. Someone's student ID card from the 90s, some scrunchies, and a dying Tamagotchi pet tell her that this box has not been gone through in a long time. The good news is, if she wants a pair of leg warmers, there's a bright neon pink pair up for grabs.
"Check out this scarf," Jason-as-Percy says, holding up the ugliest infinity scarf known to man.
"Yikes, let's put that back where we found it," Annabeth teases, pocketing some fuzzy dice. Those will look awesome in her apartment.
"How do you think Jason and Piper's date is going?" Jason-as-Percy asks.
Annabeth shrugs. She doesn't care all that much. "Probably fine. Well, fine for now. If they eat the wrong thing, they're going to be shitting for days," she chuckles.
"I'm serious," he says. "I'm worried about Jason."
"Why?"
"I'm just not sure he's happy dating Piper."
Annabeth's pretty sure this is Jason trying to have a weird out-of-body therapy session, but she's no psychology major. She will not be hearing any of this. That's Jason and Piper's business. Hopefully whatever he tells her on that date doesn't affect the project.
Shoot.
The problem here is that Annabeth could be minding her own business, but because she's a genius, she cannot.
This is bad. This is so bad.
Jason is right here telling Annabeth that he's worried about the date with Piper—the one he sent Percy on—and now he's telling her that he's not so sure about dating Piper, which can only mean that he is a total dick.
He sent Percy Jackson on his six-month anniversary date with Piper so that he doesn't have to break up with her himself.
"Jason, we need to get you to El Taco Fiesta."
Would she rather be working on the project and ordering takeout with the others? Absolutely, but her conscience is getting the best of her.
"I'm not Jason..."
"Fine then," she says. "If you're not Jason, you'll give me the keys to the Jeep so I can get his body to El Taco Fiesta."
"But the DVD!"
She can't believe she's about to say this. "Remember in Freaky Friday when-"
"Which one?" Jason-as-Percy asks.
"2003 with Lindsay Lohan." As if it would be any other Freaky Friday movie. "In the movie, Lindsay Lohan and her mom returned to their own bodies when they committed acts of love for each other."
"I'm not really down to kiss myself..."
"No, like with words and stuff. Gimme the keys, dammit!"
✎✎✎
She'll never admit it, but Annabeth has always wanted to drive this damn Jeep. Sure, she has to adjust the seats and hook the Bluetooth up to her phone so she isn't listening to whatever playlists Jason has on his Spotify account, but it's a car. She hasn't driven in a while, and she certainly hasn't driven something as nice as this.
She drives like a getaway driver because she needs to get Jason to El Taco Fiesta before Percy goes through with their dumbest plan yet.
It's the least she can do for Piper, and she has a group project due soon, so it's best to fix this friend drama before it has, er, greater effects.
She hits the brakes when she gets to the parking lot and then puts the Jeep in park.
Jason-as-Percy looks at her with fear in his electric blue eyes.
"Well?" she asks. "Get out and find them!"
They climb out of the car and run into the restaurant, ignoring the host when she asks how many people are in their party.
And lo and behold, there they are.
Piper sits across the table from Percy, munching on a vegetarian burrito and looking quite uncomfortable. Percy doesn't look much better, but that probably comes with the whole pretending-to-be-someone-else's-boyfriend territory.
"Pipes," Percy says as Jason, "you know I love you and everything, but-"
To Annabeth's surprise, it's Jason that interrupts the speech. "Wait!" he says. "Bro, it's time to change back."
Percy-as-Jason pulls the real Freaky Friday DVD out of his backpack and holds it out for Jason-as-Percy to grab.
It didn't even take a head injury to knock some sense into Jason this time.
The bros shake back and forth as they hold the DVD, and then they freeze, each examining his body as if he'd actually switched places.
Percy saunters over to Annabeth, leaving Jason at the table with Piper. "Miss me, Wise Girl?"
"No, I was with you the whole time, remember?" she quips, elbowing him in the gut for good measure.
"Alrighty then," says Percy. "We're going to leave you guys to your date. Hazel and the others could probably use some help on that project."
"No," says Jason. "Hang back."
Annabeth can't say she ever wanted to watch her friend get dumped by her other friend in a public place, and it certainly wasn't on her senior year Bingo card, but here she is, and she'll be damned if she isn't a supportive friend.
"Piper," Jason says, still standing above her. "You know I love you. I don't think I can say it enough. You take care of my head injuries, drive a truck with seat warmers... God, you're the best girlfriend ever. I'm really sorry about this Freaky Friday stunt Percy and I pulled today. Honestly, I didn't think holding the DVD out in front of us would actually make us switch bodies!"
Piper snorts at that. Even after all is said and done, the guys are committed to their act.
"I don't know what I did to deserve someone like you, but I sure am thankful," he says.
"Jason," Piper says. "It's just six months, nothing like-"
"Please let me finish before I chicken out."
"Jason, I'm worried."
Annabeth is worried too.
Jason looks at the DVD case and then at Piper. "I'm just really glad Percy and I were able to switch back for this because I think the pictures would look really weird if it were Percy's body in my place... when I do this."
"When you... Oh. Oh my god." Piper's cheeks turn bright red when Jason gets down on one knee and opens the DVD case. Instead of the 2003 hit movie Freaky Friday starring Lindsay Lohan, there's a ring. There's a ring.
Annabeth brings her hand to her mouth to keep from gasping.
"Piper McLean, will you marry me?"
"Get back up here, you doof!" She drags Jason to his feet and presses her lips against his, earning a round of applause from the diners at El Taco Fiesta.
Once it's been long enough to make Annabeth feel awkward, they separate, each gasping for air. "So is that a yes?" Jason asks.
"Yes. Oh my god, yes!"
Jason slips the ring onto Piper's finger and they kiss again, earning another round of applause.
Not sure how to react, Annabeth looks over to Percy. He's taking pictures. Of course, he is. He knew about this plan the whole time.
"Seaweed Brain," she hisses. "You see this too?"
"Yup," he says. "Ring by spring is a little tacky, but when you're in love..."
"Sure," Annabeth says. She doesn't know though. She can't say she's ever truly been in love.
"I hope I feel that way about someone someday," Percy says.
✎✎✎
"Hey, hey," Percy says, strutting into the study room, Annabeth and the newly engaged in tow. "We figured it out! I'm me again!"
"And I'm engaged!" says Jason.
Hazel looks up from her spot on the floor, her face covered in glitter and dust.
Leo wipes a tear from his eye, struggling when he accidentally glues his hand to a piece of hair.
Frank uncurls from the fetal position. "We finished the project if any of you care."
Shoot. So Annabeth probably shouldn't have said yes to that drink on Piper. "Can we see?" she asks.
Leo moves out of the way, revealing the finished diorama. It's perfect. The characters are accurate. None of them look like they were made out of trash, even though Annabeth knows fully well they were.
"It's perfect," Piper says. "Absolutely perfect."