Random stuff of me

99

So today, in last period, the teacher (female) walked around the class and looked who has their stuff for that lesson. I had forgotten it. So when she walked past me, I don't know why, she put her hand on my shoulder. Not just for a quick second (like she tould me) but for atleast 10 seconds. Not in a weird way of course but it still made me extremely uncomfortable. Then she proceeded to yell at the class because some people forgot their stuff. That made the urge to cry even worse for me. So now I'm sitting there, uncomfortable as fuck and wanting to cry. Then we start to work on out worksheet. Then because of this one boy in my class, that constantly got distracted, she yelled again. She tould him to focuse because if he can't focuse then he is quote on quote incompetent. So now there is me, A FUCKING HIGH SENSIBILITY PERSON, TRYING TO FUCKING FOCUSE ON MY WORK. BUT NOW I CAN'T DO THAT ANYMORE BECAUSE OF TO KUCH NOISE AROUND ME THAT I AM UNABLE TO BLOCK OUT! AND THIS FUCKING TEACHER PROCEEDS TO TALK WITH THESE TWO GIRL IN THE FRONT ROW AND THEY ARE BEING LOUD AF. SO I CAN'T FOCUSE ANYMORE AND THE NOISE AROUND ME IS GETTING LOUDER BECAUSE I CAN'T UNFOCUSE IT. SO WHAT DO I DO IN RESPONSE TO THAT? I CRY! I FUCKINV BALL MY EYES OUT. AND THEN AT THE END OF THE LESSON THE TEACHER FUCKING GETS LOUD AGAIN JUST BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE A PLAN FOR WHO CLEANS EACH WEEK. SO AFTER THAT I GO UP TO HER, HOLDING BACK TEARS, AND TELL HER THAT SHE MADE ME UNCOMFORTABLE BY TOUCHING MY SHOULDER. AND BECAUSE IM TRYING NOT TO CRY AGAIN, which I failed at, MY VOICE SOUNDS RUDER THEN INTENDED. SO NOW THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE OF A TEACHER TEXTED ME AND WENT LIKE "Of course touching your shoulder was not ok, but you spoke to me in a rude tone and didn't even give me eyecontact. I found this disrespectful and blah blah blah." MEANWHILE SHE CAN'T EVEN STICK TO HER OWN GOT DAMN RULES AND PROCEEDS TO SHAME ME FOR BEING UNCOMFORTABLE AND CRYING. BYT OF COURSE SHE ISN'T IN THE WRONG HERE! I FEEL SO BAD RIGHT NOW AND I WISH THAT I COULD JUST DISSAPPEAR FROM EARTH FOR A FEW DAYS! BECAUSE I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW.